[SRP] A New Page (Aramis)

[Cajmera]

Aramis closed his eyes and tilted his head backwards, enjoying the sensation of the breeze on his face. It was almost like a caressing hand, the breeze running over his muzzle, catching the long silvery strands of his mane. But it was more than that, at least today. Today, it was a symbol; a symbol of openness, of freedom. For the first time in years, he was as free as the breeze itself, able to drift along to parts unknown as the spirit took him. After spending so long being tied down to a single mare, a single life, he was finally, finally, FREE!

Thinking of the word 'free; brought a huge smile to Aramis' face, and he allowed himself an admittedly juvenile twirl. He was free, free, freeeee! No more being stuck at home, no more having a home. No more limiting his amorous attentions to one mare who, while cute, was definitely beginning to show the signs of age and childbirth. No more having to play nice with said mare's father, who had never been particularly fond of him. And no more wasting time trying to turn his sons into something to be properly proud of.

The thought of his sons brought Aramis up short, the happy, care-free expression on his face replaced by narrowed eyes and a grim, set scowl. His older son, Vencel, had been on his way to being something, but he was never around and claimed time constraints when Aramis wanted to spend much time with him. Since Vencel was a young adult, Aramis could only feel proud at this; it wasn't right for grown stallions to be hanging around their childhood home or their parents...like Falarnon. His younger son had never been close to being 'right,' for all that he most closely resembled Aramis himself.

Falarnon still couldn't believe how horribly his last encounter with Falarnon had gone. It was almost impressive, seeing his normally silent and weak-willed youngest stand up for himself, but the way he had chosen to do so...Aramis still couldn't think of their conversation without a familiar welling of rage. To think that his son, his own flesh and blood, had felt authorized to say such things, to speak to his father with such rudeness! Their conversation had escalated rapidly, ending with raised voices and hurtful words on both sides. Really, looking back the results were inevitable; there was no way Aramis could continue to have any sort of a relationship with Falarnon after that debacle. As Aramis had stormed off, he had crossed Falarnon off his list; he was now father to only one.

And father though he might be, he was now going to be a father in absentia. His conversation with Falarnon had been like the opening of a floodgate; losing one child had made it easy to make the decision to lose...well, to lose everything. He had sacrificed too much for too long; he wasn't going to be missing out on life any longer.  

[Cajmera]

There was only one downside to his newfound freedom, Aramis reflected with a resigned sigh. After spending so much time in the traces of family life, he didn't really know where to begin as far as enjoying his freedom. He'd already done the most important things: talked to Saiena, and rapidly left the area. It had been painful, telling the mare he'd spent the last several years with that he was leaving; it had been even more painful having to tell her that he had never cared for her the way she had cared for him. But she had forced his hoof, refusing to accept the fact that he was going and trying to cajole him into staying 'because of their long-standing love.' He hadn't intended to strip the facade away from their relationship, but Saiena's intransigence had proved too much. It was imperative that she didn't try to follow him; not only would that cramp his newfound freedom, it would make living the life he wanted nearly impossible! Since they were both flightless, there was a limit to how far Aramis could go to physically be rid of her; on top of that, she was impressively fleet of foot!

Saiena wasn't a bad sort, obviously just overly romantic and incredibly idealistic. Just because he didn't feel the same way had been no reason to ruin her memories of the past few years, but under the circumstances he could see no other options. She was swearing to follow him to the ends of the earth if necessary, determined to 'salvage their relationship.' Obviously, he needed to take a hard line with her. Needless to say, she hadn't taken it well, even with Aramis having spared her the details of his little conversation with Falarnon. There was no reason for Aramis to make the day even worse for Saiena by telling her what a rotten stallion their youngest son had turned out to be.

At any rate, the hard truth had done what his attempts to reason with Saiena had not: she had let him go, and he had been quick to take advantage by putting as much space between them as possible. There was no telling whether she might not change her mind and come after him; there was also a distinct possibility that some other relative of hers might come after him. Her father was a wind, after all, and he had never been a fan of Aramis' in spite of Aramis going out of his way to be his most charming self around the older stallion. Aramis doubted Falarnon would care that he'd gone, but there was also the question of his older son, Vencel. He liked to think that Vencel was the most like him; he definitely was the most dutiful and respectful. But he was also oddly fond of his younger brother, and ridiculously close to his mother, a rather shameful behavior in a grown stallion. Much as he liked the idea of one of his sons cutting ties from that cloying family life with him, he knew it wouldn't happen.

Besides, it would crimp his newfound style to have a child traveling with him, even a child as clearly superior as Vencel. The main problem with children was that once people knew you had them, they tended to write you off as old or out of the loop. Aramis might currently be out of the loop, but he was certainly not old!  

[Cajmera]

Though just because Aramis refused to consider himself 'old' didn't mean that he didn't consider himself to be a few other things, namely mature and seasoned. After all, he'd seen and done quite a lot in his years. Obviously Saiena and family life had dominated his most recent past, but before that, he had seen and done. much. He'd been born far away across the sea, tapped as a war horse at a young age, and trained to carry a rider into battle. However, war and violence were not his thing; though he would be the first to admit he'd been naturally skilled in the arena of war, it was too messy, too unsettling, and just too flat-out brutal to hold his attention. He'd never been one of the stallions who gloried in bloodshed; praise and compliments from his rider or from the other Soquili in his battallion had always, at best, inspired a tight, awkward smile from Aramis. He was a lover, not a fighter, and it was hard to indulge in the former among the latter. Especially when none of his fellow war horses were mares!

He'd still been a relatively young stallion when he'd been selected to cross the ocean to the Kawani lands, he and several others of his acquaintance. The new land had appealed to him, even if the mission had not; he knew that he was inevitably heading back into war, which tended to stay the same wherever it was taking place. He hadn't expected to get the lucky break he did; a badly finished holding area had proved no obstacle to the determined stallions within, and Aramis, along with a few like-minded compatriots, had made his grand escape from the weary world of soldiery soon after arriving in the Kawani lands. It had been grand and glorious, those initial months of freedom; being his own master, setting his own agenda. No rising at dawn unless he wanted to, no weary, soul crushes marches until dark. And no fighting.

He had been happy then, he reflected with a sigh. Happy, but careless as well, he now knew. He had been like a foal, kicking up its heels in the first throes of life; a foal who had no idea of the dangers lurking beyond the safety of its mother. It was that cavalier attitude to everything that had gotten him into the 'family mess', he knew; while those early days had been among the best in his life, he now knew better. Whatever else his newly reclaimed freedom held, it would be with a much more cautious outlook. Cautious, and sensible. Honor was all well and good, but this was not the land of his birth; morality and normality were defined differently here. That had been his problem with Saiena; he had followed the code he knew from his homeland.

Well, that was not going to the be the case next time, if there even was a next time, he thought with a somewhat grim expression. He wasn't going to be a monk; that just wasn't his style. But he wasn't going to allow himself to be tied down to anyone ever again; not a mare, not any children, nothing. He was free, and he meant to stay that way.