Turning from where she'd been standing in the shadows to spy, she veered off course to find a shovel. She would need it. Then, moving almost mechanically, she went to where she'd stashed Avacyn's body and gathered it up, holding it tight in spite of the tar and dried blood.
"Not much longer, babygirl. Try not to move too far on before I get a chance to catch up."
Brushing her lips against Avacyn's ruined face, she carried body and shovel off to a secluded spot she'd picked out during the tiny breaks she'd allowed herself in ferrying. Ava would have liked it, she decided. The first, faint streaks of dawn turned the air a hazy, silvery blue and the crickets chirped and sang without a care in the world. It was... peaceful. Chariklo hoped that when her time came, she could stay in a place like this.
"No one to bother us but the bunnies and flowers, lover," she murmured to the shadowy Avacyn in her head. Gently laying the body down amidst a cluster of tiny white wildflowers, she straightened up, shivered and seized the shovel. It was time to work out some agressions.
Stabbing and flailing at the dirt, she managed to break it enough to allow her to start digging. How far did one need to dig to make a decent grave, she wondered absently. Old movies always talked about putting people six feet under. But with this rocky soil, she wasn't sure she could manage that. Still, she'd try. And if she couldn't get deep, there were plenty of rocks to build a cairn.
Working steadily, the tall Princess dug and scrabbled through the dirt, occasionally humming a soft lullaby to herself. For a moment, she wasn't sure why she was singing in italian, but then she remembered a night in a bell tower. The first time she'd ever encountered Bischofite.
He took our Bianca away too, she thought. Bianca taught me this song. Memories caused the tears to spring unbidden from her eyes. Bianca, broken at the foot of the tower, starseed stolen. At least he hadn't gotten Ava's. One mercy.
After a moment, her rough voice sang a little louder, finding some sort of soothing balance in her task and the rising sun. And after a time, she had a servicable grave dug.
"I haven't got a shroud or winding sheet for you, baby," she apologized softly. "But see? I lined it with some of those nice little wildflowers and some of the grass and some pine needles. It'll be soft and it won't be as if I just slung you into plain ol' dirt, right?"
Her voice caught and she sank to her knees beside Avacyn's body, racking sobs shaking her. Gathering the body up, she hugged it tight, ignoring the tar. She wasn't ready to say goodbye. Only, she had to. She had to let go.
Gulping, she crawled to the side of the grave and carefully set Avacyn inside. She thought about replacing the dirt, but the thought made her stomach churn. She couldn't just dump a lot of dirt over her wife's face and body. But building a cairn. That didn't seem as ghoulish and awful.
Finding enough rocks took time and as she worked, she set little bunches of flowers into the crevasses between the rocks until a tiny stony hill covered Avacyn.
"Nothing'll bother you there. And you'll have friends with you. I promise."
Taking up the shovel once more, she dug three small holes around Ava's grave and lined each with flowers. Then, siting back, she took up the first of the small wood pieces she'd swiped from the camp and hidden in her fuku. She needed representations. No matter what Ida had said about them being okay, she knew her friends were gone. She'd seen Faust's body herself. And the absence here of Hver and Naer spoke clearly of their own fates. She hadn't gotten to say goodbye, not really.
"Wish you guys could have waited for me," she whispered as she bent over the wooden bits she was roughly, if lovingly, shaping. "What a ******** party we could've had."
A bit of birdsong startled her, though she had to smile as even more tears leaked out. Was there an upper limit on how many tears people could shed, she wondered? But the bird had given her an idea. Working from memory, she carved out a rough version of Hver's tattoo and carved a tiny bird out above it.
She kissed the carving and set it into the first of the tiny graves. Placed more wildflowers in with it and then piled up small rocks over it. Faust too was easy enough, she carved a cat shape, managed to pick out the word 'Fuzzbutt' without slicing open her hand and repeated the kiss and burial.
"I'mma miss you, you ******** cat," she whispered. She wasn't bothering to try and stop the tears anymore. They were going to come and she would let them. Besides, crying didn't hurt as much as the awful nothingness inside that threatened to swallow her whole.
"I wish I could write down all the stories you told me, Naer. I promise I won't ever forget them. Or your jokes. I'm sorry I'm a failface at carving a hammer, but you don't mind, right?"
One more carving done. One last kiss and burial.
Blinking, she glanced around, realizing that the sun was up and the little spot she'd picked out for the people she loved best really was pretty. She could only hope that wherever they were now was as soft and lovely and peaceful.
Pushing herself wearily to her feet, Chariklo powered down and wiped a grubby hand across her eyes and nose. Before she turned to walk back to the new camp, she brushed her fingers against her lips and blew a kiss towards the graves.
"I love you guys. I promise I won't be long in catching up. Try not to get too impatient, okay?"
Just sharin' mah dead people feels~
Aeeth
Ivynian
Songstress Kitsune
Shazari
