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 Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2014 10:15 pm
She stands behind the younger girl, brush slowly stroking through pitch black waves, gently detangling the mass of it. In the mirror Sasha sees herself, her real self, the girl who woke up here before being broke down and built up time and again, more of the world's debris slipping in each time. Clarice smiles fondly at her in the reflection and continues brushing. "You'll have to do much better, Sasha, to fill the gap I left." Leaning down she continues quietly, "You would do better to stop trying, though."
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Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2014 10:19 pm
Sasha wrinkles her nose and stares back at the woman behind her. She sets her jaw in determination and lifts her chin before her pale eyes shift back to take careful inventory of her own face. "I won't ever be good enough, will I? For anyone?" She pauses, her brow furrows. Her gaze lifts once more (she's confused, she's hurt, she's disillusioned) to meet Clarice's in the mirror. "Or for any thing?"
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Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2014 10:59 pm
"You keep trying to fit into places where you don't belong," Clarice agrees calmly, "and scraping off all your edges until you're just some particularly unloved doll that someone keeps trying to make over, but only succeeds in mutilating further." Leaning down, she places a gentle kiss on top of the younger woman's head, "You deserve better."
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Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2014 11:11 pm
She will not cry. She will not cry. She will not cry. She cries. They're silent tears, tracking down her cheeks before falling from her chin. They form damp spots on her shirt, and Sasha watches her reflection intently in the mirror. "It's what I deserve," her voice is nothing more than a whisper. She's always been useless, even as a child. She hasn't accomplished much of anything in her short life, and it bothers her. It bothers her. And it hurts. The pain isn't something she can ignore, but it's something she can disguise. Dress it up in fancy clothes, pretty lingerie, dark smiles and wicked intentions. She can mold it into something it isn't by making the pieces fit, and removing what doesn't. "It's what I deserve," she says again, with more conviction this time. "It's what I deserve." It isn't clear if she's talking about the Assistant position, the unhappiness, the hole she's dug, or the power she wants. It isn't clear, and that's how it has to be. "I can make it fit," Sasha whispers and squeezes her eyes shut.
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Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2014 11:37 pm
"Shhhh..." Strong arms wrap around Sasha, holding her with gentle firmness. Clarice smells like soft, pretty things, but under those lingers scents of metal and the ozone of power. Chin resting on the girl's shoulder, Clarice's cheek brushes against Sasha's flushed, tear-streaked skin. "It's because you've always been so much more. So much of you, amazing, wonderful you, has been just dying to get out and breathe without restriction." A sigh, "And every time it looks like you're close, somebody closes the lid on the box and makes it look like they're doing you a favor."
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2014 6:45 am
Sasha's eyes open, and they're filled with the sort of emptiness and hollowness that only someone who has been built up and broken down too, too many times can feel. "You're lying," she hisses, ugly and low, "you're lying, because you're dead, and you're dead because you made a mistake. And Clerise is dead because of you." She turns abruptly, one small hand lashing out to wrap around Clarice's pretty, pale neck. Her fingers tighten. "Clerise is dead because of you."
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2014 1:19 pm
"Clerise..." Her breath choked off, and then with a grimace, Clarice reached up to pry Sasha's fingers off. Her hands were incredibly strong and ungentle. Gasping, she continued, "Clerise had no reason to stay, sweetie. You weren't enough. Even if I made a mistake she loved me not just despite it, but because some part of her knew exactly what I was, deep down." A sad smile, "Can you say the same?"
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2014 1:38 pm
"No." She can't say the same. She's never been enough for anyone. She wasn't enough for the man she thought was her father. She wasn't enough for Jerry. She wasn't enough for Rep. She wasn't enough for Wash. And while she wasn't enough for all of them in vastly different ways, all of them grotesque and misshapen and bitter, she wasn't really enough for herself, either. So how could she be enough for anyone else? She crumples against Clarice's chest, small and scared and ragged. She's lost, adrift on a sea so tumultuous and deadly and she's sinking fast with nothing - nobody - left to cling to. " What do I do?!"
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Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2014 2:11 pm
Strong arms rock Sasha slowly while fingers card through her hair. Clarice smells of gentle, pretty things and warmth and safety. She doesn't offer answer, but instead something the girl had lacked for so long: a mother's loving acceptance. The feeling would persist even after Sasha woke up, Clarice's perfume lingering in the air.
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