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Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:01 am
Finn drove ten-to-fifteen over the speed limit to get home and was very lucky to not get pulled over. His first day interning for the parks department had gone great, but he was anxious to see what Arkady was up to. It was the longest he’d left her alone for (his shifts at white river were never more than seven hours, because the owners abhorred paying overtime), and it wasn’t that she thought she’d probably gotten herself into trouble… ...But one could never be too sure.
“Arkady, I’m home,” he called, opening the door. The living room was clean and orderly the way he’d left it, which was an encouraging sign. Neither had Arkady managed to explode the kitchen in his absence.
“Arkady?” Finn called, closing the door behind him. The lights were on, so he hoped she was home and hadn’t just left them on when she went out. He checked the bedroom, and found Arkady plugged into a pair of headphones that she definitely hadn’t had this morning. Finn waved to her and gestured taking them off.
“Hey,” he said. “You hungry?”
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Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:03 am
The CD player was Alex’s, not really hers at all, but the headphones she’d bought on her own. With her employee discount. She had counted up the money left on Kaatje’s prepaid card carefully, and then bought the best pair of headphones she could afford with a discount that took more than half the total price off. And since she’d gotten home from her new place of employment, she had been carefully listening to the Big Bands Of The Last Thirty Years, as narrated to her by her new friend Alex Masters. She’d made it through the sixties, seventies, eighties, and nineties by the time Finn got home; the sun had set, and she was nursing her fourth cup of black tea when the door opened.
It was Finn, of course. She smiled at him and took the headphones off, dropping them on the bed in front of her. The pounding bass of Rihanna--who, by the way, she didn’t like, but only because she’d listened to Beyonce first--could still be audibly heard, and she self-consciously turned the volume down before hopping up off the bed and throwing herself into Finn’s arms. “I missed you all day,” she said, pressing at least ten kisses along the curve of his jaw. “I was waiting and waiting and waiting!”
What use was a biological form anyway, it wasn’t like it gave her any kind of advantage in wooing Finn--except--yeah, it did. “I guess,” she said. “But I had a pastry with Alex. It had cherries in it. I can make something! What do you want?”
Wait. Wait. News first. “Guess what I did today,” she said, tugging Finn into the living room after her like a much-beloved toy. “You’ll never guess. It’s literally impossible.”
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Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:04 am
He had no idea where she’d gotten a CD player. In fact, he hadn’t been aware that CD players were a thing you could still get, but at least she was happy? “I missed you all day!” Finn replied, catching her as she flung herself at him. He endured her kisses happily: there were none to be had in the middle of the woods.
“Who’s Alex?” he asked, although she’d brought up so many things after that that he expected any introductions about her new friend to be hastily shoved aside. Like, for example, dinner! As if on cue, his stomach rumbled loudly. “And, um, we could make some pasta and I’ll heat up sauce and dress it up so we can feel fancy? You can make the noodles.”
But, hey, what had she done today? He had no idea. She hadn’t texted him about anything but he knew she was quiet because she knew he was busy. “What did you do today?” Finn asked, tugging Arkady gently towards the kitchen. “I have no idea.”
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Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:04 am
Who was Alex? Oh, right, she hadn’t told him! How terrible of her, she was the worst. Wait, no, wrong. She was the best and she was an adult who could make her own decisions and have friends that weren’t personally vetted by Finn Derouen or Kaatje van der Weydin and no one could stop her!
I have gone mad with power, she thought. Maybe next she would buy a whole cake and eat it. By herself.
“Can we make the fancy noodles,” she asked, rummaging through the cabinets and then presenting Finn with a box of the ones shaped like bow ties. These were, obviously, the best noodles, on account of there were all kinds of places for the sauce to get in, and also they didn’t have to get spun around a fork, thus endangering one’s wardrobe. She liked her cute green dress: it was cute. And green. With a little brown lace yoke! So cute. “I’m going to make the fancy noodles,” she decided, locating the noodle pot (the pot which was only used for noodles) and filling it.
She beamed at Finn over her shoulder, and said, “I got,” and then she paused dramatically for effect, “A job! I am going to sell music to people, which is why I am listening to music, so I can pretend to remember things. I start next week, and I have to have black pants and close-toed shoes, but other than that I can wear whatever I want.” That was an important consideration. Wearing an ugly uniform would suck.
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Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:05 am
She was a whirlwind of activity, his Arkady, and Finn stood back to let her work, nodding his approval to the fancy noodles, which he bought specifically because they made her happy. “A job!” he exclaimed, clapping his hands together in a way that was entirely genuinely excited for her. He didn’t remember ever telling Arkady that she needed to get one, but hey - if it got her out of the house and meeting people then he couldn’t see how it could be bad. She’d already been filled in on the importance of magical secrecy, so unless someone asked too many questions about her amnesia, she’d probably be perfectly okay.
“Arkady, that’s great,” said Finn, getting a jar of tomato sauce out of the fridge. “Can you put the saucepan on, too?” She was a big help in the kitchen, and any time Arkady wanted to eat an actual meal was a good time. “Do you need to go get pants and shoes? Who do you want to go with you - Kaatje might be better than me. What kind of music have you been listening to and do you like it?”
Typical that all the fun stuff would happen while he was at work. Finn handed her the jar of tomato sauce and went back to the fridge for basil and cheese. “Do you want parmesan or mozzarella?” he called. “And what do you want to drink?”
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Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:06 am
Arkady pointed to the door and her pretty purple sneakers. “I have closed-toe shoes,” she said, proudly, shifting the direction of her finger to indicate the black flats, too. “And black pants. They were in the box of Tate’s things.” She still had a hard time wrapping her head around the fact that Tate Konstantin, Vanya Morgenstern, and herself were all the same person; the only thing they shared was a face and Avalon, really. Referring to her past selves in the third person, she thought, would definitely make Finn feel better about stuff like trying to mold her into whoever she’d been before.
The saucepan went on a burner right next to the water, which was not yet boiling, but that was okay. Arkady didn’t mind if it took a bit. She wasn’t really that hungry, but maybe all the talking would build up her appetite! The tomato sauce didn’t splash, not even a little, as she poured it into the pan; she had been practicing. “Umm,” she said, “I like when they have just the guitar and just someone singing. Or just a piano. Sometimes I think I know what the chords are on the guitar and the piano, but that’s silly, right?” Those thoughts had the flavors of Before, but without her memories, she could never be sure.
“I like mozzarella,” said Arkady, “and do we have any more cold coffee?” Cold coffee was a thing Arkady had started doing just because it had seemed like a thing to do, like brewing a pot of coffee and then pouring it into a pitcher and then throwing it in the fridge was normal. She liked it, though. It was sharp and bitter, and if she put a tiny bit of chocolate syrup in it, it turned delicious as ********>. Or well, as delicious as she imagined ******** would be. She sighed, thinking about it.
She brightened up, and said, “Can I borrow your laptop? Alex told me about this really pretty band, he said it wasn’t his taste but a friend of his had liked it so I want to see if you like it, too!”
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Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:06 am
There was, in fact, cold coffee, so Finn got that out of the fridge along with the bag of shredded cheese. “No, it’s not silly,” he said, shaking his head as he set both things on the counter and got down some clean glasses. “Tate played piano. I don’t know about Vanya, whether she played anything or not.” He could play along - she’d started referring to Tate and Vanya in the third person, and if that made things easier to process, then Finn was all for it.
Anyway, he was always interested in new music. “Sounds good,” said Finn. “I’ll go get my laptop and we can listen while we wait for the pasta to finish cooking.”
He left. He came back. He put his laptop on the counter and stepped back to give Arkady room to do her thing. “You know,” he said, “I’ve noticed you never use the laptop that was in Tate’s box of stuff. Is it because you want a different one?”
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Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:07 am
She took over coffee making while he went to fetch his laptop. Very little of her life happened on autopilot anymore, but this one thing. She had always known how she took her own coffee, cold or hot. She did it by rote.
"I thought Tate didn't like music," said Arkady, which seemed nigh unimaginable to her. A world without music was like a world without sunlight. Sad. Boring. Lonely. Regardless, she loved it, and she queued up the album she had been lent. The song was simple, a woman's low husky voice and a guitar. That only made it lovelier to her.
There was a lot she didn't know, she supposed. "I... It's all set up how she liked it," she said. "All the dates are lined up, folders for every month, and... It feels... Weird. It feels weird to look at someone else's life and know that was you, once." Arkady shrugged, a little bob of her shoulders. "I don't think I can just wipe her computer, either. Then it's like she's just. Gone."
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Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:07 am
“Tate was… picky,” said Finn, smiling a little at the memory. “She was very particular about what kind of music she liked, and she liked playing music, because she could make it perfect. She didn’t have much patience for listening to other people play.” Tate was the kind to pick apart a violin concerto - no, he’s playing too fast, with too much vibrato. But… he’d loved her in all her pickiness. He wasn’t sure whether she would have liked this song - but he liked it, and he swayed a bit with the music.
“It’s an old computer, anyway,” shrugged Finn. Tate had gone missing two years ago, and she’d had the computer a while before that. There wasn’t any crime in getting Arkady a new laptop that would be all hers. “We can get you your own. One that doesn’t have her whole life on it.” He didn’t have the heart to wipe it, either, and he didn’t want to go prying through Tate’s personal files.
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Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:08 am
She looked at Finn, a little glance out of the corner of her eyes before she turned her gaze to the bubbling water in the pot. He often spoke of Tate like she was dead, which made sense, because she was... but his voice turned fond, in those moments, in a way that she wasn’t sure she liked. Did he put up with her because of Tate’s ghost, the one whose face she wore even if she had none of her spirit? Did he love her because if he squinted, she looked like the person he lost? The song wound down with a shaking note, and she tried to imagine being irritated by the waver in the singer’s voice.
Tate must have been very sad, she thought: for she had read the text files. Endless ruminations on what to do. Budgets. Plans. A terrified, neurotic girl with no appreciation for the beauties in life, who tried to hold it at arm’s length, and categorized it, and… and in the end, had been conquered by it. Above all else, Tate Konstantin--Vanya--Arkady--whoever she was, whoever she was then, had wanted to live.
No, it wasn’t that Tate hadn’t appreciated life. It was just that it had been terrifying.
A tear ran down her long nose to plop, unceremoniously, on her hand. She scrubbed at it with one hand, and smiled a little tearily at Finn. “Okay,” she said, putting the strainer in the sink. She poured the noodles out, and shook the strainer a little bit. “I think that would be okay. Because then we could leave Tate’s computer, and. She has pictures on there. Of you and her? I would hate to lose those.”
Video diaries. She wondered if Finn had seen them.
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Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:10 am
Finn noticed the teardrop, and he wasn’t certain whether he ought to indicate he had or not. He hadn’t gone through the computer, but he doubted any of the pictures were anything he hadn’t seen before, if he was in them. He remembered spending hours in front of Tate’s laptop taking goofy pictures together in Photobooth, and those hadn’t ever been deleted. “We can go through them later,” he said, taking the sauce off the heat and getting some bowls down.
“I like this singer,” he said, turning away to chop the basil into strips. He swept the cuttings onto a plate and held it out to her. “What do you think?” he asked, offering her a smile. He liked watching Arkady form opinions about things, even if those opinions set her apart from her previous lives. Already, she seemed more easygoing than Tate, less serious and withdrawn than Vanya. Those other women were gone, and it was only right that he missed them, but… Arkady was here with him now, and it was Arkady whom he loved.
He finished dressing up the bowls and set them on the bar counter. “Let’s eat,” Finn suggested. “Can you get silverware out?”
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Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:10 am
“She’s very emotional,” said Arkady, “I like that.” She brushed the basil cuttings into the sauce and stirred it carefully, methodically, a serious expression on her face. “I think it adequately reflects her feelings for the person she’s singing to. Very sad. She misses them.” When she turned to look at Finn, there was a tiny smile on her face, shy and sweet.
She got out the silverware, and hopped onto a chair. The next few minutes were spent engrossed in stirring in exactly the right amount of cheese into her pasta before she started eating it, methodically, a single piece at a time. “How is the park,” she asked. “You smell nice, like sunshine and trees.”
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Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:11 am
He liked it when Arkady smiled, especially when that smile was just for him. Finn fixed up his pasta, with a dash of cheese and a lot of sauce and a lot of basil before digging into it with none of her finesse. “I love the park,” he said, spearing three noodles at once. “We’re working on a wildlife survey, looking for birds nests and stuff.” It had certainly made for an exciting first day at work - and exactly the kind of thing Finn had trained for in college. Part of him still wanted to go back to Alaska, or out to Montana - anywhere with a bit more wilderness.
But that would just be horribly inconvenient right now.
“I’d love to work out there full-time someday,” he said, but for now he still had his hours at White River and he wanted to keep his employee discount for as long as he could. “How was the mall? Did you like it - all those people? You think you’ll enjoy it?”
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Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:11 am
She looked up at him, big-eyed. “You went looking for birds? Did you find any? How many?” She abandoned her bowl to loop her arms around his neck. “Can we go hiking and find the birds?” For all she was ‘growing up’ and regaining her years quickly, there were three topics which could reliably knock her back to a more childlike state: birds, languages, and space. “I want to take pictures!” How many birds could she find? Oh, doubtless maybe a thousand. With Finn on her side, the possibilities of bird-finding were endless.
“I didn’t apply to the music store at the mall,” she said, kissing along the top of his head. “I don’t like all the people. I applied at the little one by the park. It smells like plastic sometimes but it’s nice and the only people who come in are, like, alt rock teenagers and like… old people.” She had done her research. There would be time to learn, at such a slow store. And she had a friend to help her out! That was exciting.
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Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:11 am
“Oh,” said Finn, feeling a bit foolish. Of course she’d like the one by the park - it was little and trendy and close to things she liked. Physical music stores struck him as a bit of a dying breed, anyway, but that one seemed to do okay. “Well, that’s good,” he said, smiling up at her. He was done with his food, so he got up from his stool and followed her over to the couch.
“Do you want to watch a show? A movie?” he asked, reaching for the remote. “We found what we’re pretty sure was a hawk’s roost. If it’s a breeding pair, there will be babies in the spring. Maybe next weekend we can go out there just to hike around?” That would be fun. Maybe he could even talk her into going camping with him!
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