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 Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 8:10 am
 Life Hunter
BATTLE ARENA
The portal opens up into an observation room, and down the stairs, an odd chamber for something like hunter training. At the center of a piranha-filled pool stands a solid stone table and several chairs. The Life Arena was built underneath the demolitions and ballistics testing areas, and the chamber rumbles with the occasional explosions above. Pinpoint red lasers sweep across the room regularly, as if hidden snipers are searching for a nice target. In the center of the table sits a wooden tower, made up of smaller wooden blocks. Yes. That's right. The Life Hunters prefer to train via Jenga.
Note: Distraction techniques and Yo Momma jokes are considered viable weapons when playing competitively.
If you fail: you have knocked down the tower! A small dart hits the back of your neck. You come to several hours later, and hope Dr. H didn't do anything to your body while you were unconscious. When you look into the mirror...
If you win: you have reached 50 points! You get a sharpie marker to do with as you please. peen points go to those with the highest scores.
Group Play
Playing in a group on any course means certain things can be shifted to make it a better experience for multiple people without holding anyone back.
An approved group play alteration for the life arena goes as follows:
When someone knocks the tower down, they are shot with a weaker dart. They will wake up 5 minutes later, the game can be reset back to the point before it fell by placing their hands on the table and saying the word, constructum. This allows them to start again where they left off instead of the beginning. They can take up to three of these darts before passing out for an hour, the game will not reset for them and they will need to try again from the beginning.
Mechanics
- by carefully removing pieces of the tower, you earn points and advance to the next round. As the rounds continue, the odds grow steadily against you. Rolling a 1 at any point means you have knocked down the tower. Please do enjoy your mystery dart. Anything after reaching 50 points is purely for peen.
- you may roll pieces individually (suggested for group play) or in batches of 5 (basically, a full round.)
Round 1
Pieces: 5
Points per piece: 1
Trainee Roll: 1d10
Life Trainee Roll: 1d12
Hunter Roll: 1d12
Life Hunter Roll: 1d20
Round 2
Pieces: 5
Points per piece: 3
Trainee Roll: 1d8
Life Trainee Roll: 1d10
Hunter Roll: 1d10
Life Hunter Roll: 1d12
Round 3
Pieces: 5
Points per piece: 4
Trainee Roll: 1d6
Life Trainee Roll: 1d8
Hunter Roll: 1d8
Life Hunter Roll: 1d10
Round 4
Pieces: 5
Points per piece: 10
Trainee Roll: 1d4
Life Trainee Roll: 1d6
Hunter Roll: 1d6
Life Hunter Roll: 1d8
Bonus Mechanics
Life Hunters train for precise hand eye coordination and exceptional judgement, thus they have a slightly lower chance of knocking down the tower.
Status Round: (current round number)Pieces Taken:Total Points: [quote="Status"]
[size=14][color=#00BFFF][b]Round: (current round number)[/b][/color][/size]
[b]Pieces Taken:[/b]
[b]Total Points:[/b]
[/quote]
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Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 8:12 am
"Quit your bitching," Evan told Tuck as they made their way to the Life training course. "Bandages are important to get clearance for. They could save your a** one day. More importantly, they could save my a** someday. Besides, all we have to do is play Jenga. How hard could it possibly be?" Famous last words.
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Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 8:21 am
"Man, look. I get it. I'm your ******** Moon, I know all about savin' your goddamn life. But I heard some ********' horror stories about this ********' place, and it ain't all we gotta do is play Jenga, man." Yeah, he was ******** pouting. "An' Heidi just ********' got home, man. Unlike someone else I know," he gave Evan a Very Pointed Look, "I ain't waltzin' around this ********' island plowin' all the p***y that presents itself to me. I gotta practice s**t like... ********' abstinence an' s**t." They reached the Life training course, and Tuck immediately slumped into the nearest chair at the table. "If you draw ********' dicks on my face, Evan, I'm gonna hurt you. I'm really gonna hurt you."
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Inle-roo rolled 5 10-sided dice:
6, 6, 8, 10, 7
Total: 37 (5-50)
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Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 9:52 am
"Please," Evan snorted. "No one told you you had to settle down, and I'm not sure wearing a hole in your right hand counts as abstinence anyway. You could be saving Heidi's life, too, someday. Besides," he reasoned, "it could be worse. I heard they literally blow people up on the Death course. There's piranhas or something, too. Jenga's a walk in the ******** park compared to that." Evan was much more composed as he sat himself down across from Tuck, mostly because he had nothing to throw a fit about. He couldn't bring himself to feel too bad; this was for their own good. "I'm not gonna draw dicks on your face, man," he said, exasperated, though the Sharpie in his pocket had been brought along for exactly that. "Look it's easy. Just take your time and you'll be okay." Evan proceeded to demonstrate, carefully sliding out a bunch of easy pieces. Status Round: 1 Pieces Taken: 5 Total Points: 5
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bipolar bee rolled 5 10-sided dice:
2, 7, 10, 7, 2
Total: 28 (5-50)
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Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 10:07 am
"I like bein' settled down," Tuck grumbled, patiently waiting for Evan to retrieve his pieces. "I'll live vicariously through your sexcapades an' all that s**t. An' don't give me none of that I don't kiss an' tell bull s**t, neither. What I gotta know is, man, which piece got the nicest a**? An' which piece is the freak?" Tuck inhaled deeply and gave the jenga tower a dark, dark look. With pretty steady hands he retrieved five pieces of his own. "This is mantalk, be straight with me. I ain't gonna spill. Heidi would kill me if she found out, anyway." Status Round: 1 Pieces Taken: 5 Total Points: 5
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Inle-roo rolled 5 8-sided dice:
1, 5, 7, 7, 3
Total: 23 (5-40)
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Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 10:29 am
"Well, I don't kiss and tell--that's ******** disrespectful. Besides, I'm sure you don't really want to hear about what me and your sister got up to." Just thinking about what he and Gnat got up to was enough to break his concentration. The tower collapsed with a noisy clatter, Evan felt a sting at the back of his neck, and the last thing he was aware of was falling forward. Status Round: 2 Pieces Taken: 5 + 0 Total Points: 5 1/3
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bipolar bee rolled 5 8-sided dice:
7, 6, 6, 3, 1
Total: 23 (5-40)
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Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 10:51 am
Tuck watched Evan slump over and gave the other man a wickedly satisfied smile. "And that's." One piece. "What you get." Two. "For bein'." Three. "A." Four. "b***h - ********." The tower toppled, and so did Tuck. Status Round: 2 Pieces Taken: 4 Total Points: 16
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Inle-roo rolled 5 8-sided dice:
6, 6, 3, 8, 6
Total: 29 (5-40)
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Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 11:25 am
When Evan awoke, it was to find Tuck draped over the table. A wide, wide grin split his face as he reached into his pocket for the Sharpie tucked inside. True to his word--for now--Evan did not draw dicks on Tuck's face, though he did write "I heart dudes" across his forehead. Sorry, Heidi. When Tuck awoke, it would be to the pen safely returned to Evan's pocket and the last of five pieces being slid out of the tower. Status Round: 2 Pieces Taken: 5 Total Points: 5 + 15 = 20 1/3
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bipolar bee rolled 1 8-sided dice:
7
Total: 7 (1-8)
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Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 11:46 am
Tuck was pretty ******** oblivious. "You ain't gotta name names," Tuck was like a ******** bloodhound, and he was relentless. "Just give me nicknames. Any kind of deets, man, I ain't picky. Be a friend." He idly scratched his forehead, right where the heart was drawn, and very carefully took another piece. Status Round: 2 Pieces Taken: 1 Total Points: 19 1/3
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Inle-roo rolled 5 6-sided dice:
1, 5, 6, 6, 2
Total: 20 (5-30)
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Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 12:12 pm
Evan coughed to suppress the laugh that wanted to break free as Tuck remained oblivious to his shenanigans. Priceless. Hopefully he would stay that way until much, much later, when they weren't in the same room together. "Fine," Evan sighed, adding "you gossipy ******** girl" under his breath. "So there's one girl, I think she's in Death division, with big," he trailed off to gesture around his chest area in the universal gesture for boobs and accidentally bumped the tower. It fell over, and Evan had just enough time to frown before he followed suit. Status Round: 3 Pieces Taken: 0 this round Total Points: 20 2/3
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bipolar bee rolled 5 6-sided dice:
3, 1, 5, 6, 4
Total: 19 (5-30)
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Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 12:25 pm
Tuck was more of an a**-man, himself, and he was just about to tell Evan that when Evan passed out. He shrugged, removed one piece from the tower, and then decided that maybe he should take a picture of Evan passed out like a little b***h. He never got that far. Phone out, ready to go, and then he knocked into the table. The tower weebled -- "No, ********, no, no, no!!" -- and ******** immediately crashed down. "Son of a bit--" He hit the table with a thunk. Status Round: 3 Pieces Taken: 1 Total Points: 23 2/3
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Inle-roo rolled 5 6-sided dice:
6, 3, 4, 1, 6
Total: 20 (5-30)
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Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 2:33 pm
Evan awoke to find Tuck passed out. Deciding to take advantage of this--because why wouldn't he?--he quickly unlaced the other man's boots and tied them to the chair legs. He was whistling innocently by the time Tuck came to, trying to carefully push a piece out of place, but he was running out of safe, smart moves and his fingers were just too big. The tower collapsed. Evan sighed as he waited for the inevitable and wasn't disappointed when he passed out a few seconds later. As the Life techs came to drag him out, they noticed the liberties Evan had taken with Tuck's forehead and snickered at him as they dragged Evan out. Status Round: 3 Pieces Taken: 3 this turn Total Points: 32 3/3 start over noooo
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bipolar bee rolled 4 6-sided dice:
4, 3, 3, 1
Total: 11 (4-24)
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Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 2:34 pm
He hated this s**t. He hated. This ******** s**t. He really did. Tuck woke up in just enough time to see Evan being carted off. He laughed, hard, and successfully took out a few jenga pieces. But not enough. He tried to stand up in hopes of missing the dart, but some ******** d**k-squeezing ******** ******** a*****e had tied his boots to the ******** chair, Evan - and he tripped, and he fell, and that was game over. Status
Round: 3
Pieces Taken: 3
Total Points: 35
3/3 ******** ******** class="clear">
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Inle-roo rolled 5 10-sided dice:
10, 4, 6, 8, 8
Total: 36 (5-50)
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Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 2:50 pm
An hour later, Evan had very politely told Tuck, over his constant whining, to sit the ******** down, shut the ******** up, and do some ******** Jenga. "I know it's harder than Army boot camp, but it needs to be done." Status Round: 1 Pieces Taken: 5 Total Points: 5
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bipolar bee rolled 5 10-sided dice:
6, 2, 9, 1, 2
Total: 20 (5-50)
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Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 3:20 pm
"You just think you're hot s**t because you're a ******** Marine. Let me tell you something." One piece. Two. "You ******** are, okay." Another. "I ain't gonna lie, sometimes I wish I wasn't in such a ******** panic to get the ******** out of Idaho, but I was. And the life of a Marine is the same as the life of an Army soldier, you ******** a** --" Sweet oblivion. Status Round: 1 Pieces Taken: 3 Total Points: 3
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