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Shiloh had followed quickly after Alistaire, but his calls of “Wait!” fell on deaf ears and damn it, Alistaire was fast.

His head start got even bigger when Shiloh paused to find his phone, shooting a warning text off to Ian and apologizing profusely.





He sprinted after Alistaire, but short of grabbing his arm and pulling him back, which he was sure was going to make things only worse and turn their spar into an actual fight, there wasn’t much Shiloh could do to stop him. The man was intent.

“Ian, Ian, Ian, Ian!”

Shiloh’s voice careened down the hallway ahead of him, announcing him before he’d even arrived and he got there just in time to see Alistaire step into the room, nearly sliding past the door himself in his haste.

He was a bit out of breath, and a bit (a lot) dirtier than Alistaire considering, but then Shiloh had never been one to worry about stains or smudges or anything that could come out in the wash. Alistaire, unfortunately, was a stain that didn’t come out, no matter how impolitely Shiloh elbowed his way past him into the room, determined to come to Ian’s rescue.

Not that Ian couldn’t hold his ground, and probably could do so better without Shiloh in the way. But like an over-protective watchdog Shiloh was wedging himself between the two of them, standing in front of Ian with a defiant look in his eyes. Whatever problem Alistaire had, he could say it to the both of them and deal with the both of them in turn. It was one thing to throw about thinly veiled insults on a field, Shiloh could take that and give it back, and it was neutral ground. But this was his room, it was their room, their home and his hackles were up.

“I’m not just a habit,” Shiloh declared.

The hand on his waist had a pleasant reassurance behind it, as did Ian’s words and the kiss to his head that followed even more so. Shiloh acknowledged it with a gentle smile, with fingers that trailed against Ian’s arm as he pulled away and made himself back at home on the bed. Shiloh didn’t follow, standing his ground where he was and staring at Alistaire defiantly.

Of course they had considered it. Sort of.

Shiloh had sort of thought about the pros and cons of it, he’d sort of considered the details. But sort of really didn’t compare to the excitement and heart-thumping that Ian asking had given him, and it couldn’t compare to the way they felt about each other. They loved each other, and they were trying, wasn’t that enough? Sure they’d broken up, and it had been hard, devastating but they were trying again. It was a blip on the radar compared to the other nine months they’d been together. And it wasn’t like they didn’t spend all of their time together anyway, this was just making it official. It was no big deal and Shiloh’s stare hardened a bit, as he steeled himself against any doubt, determined not to let Alistaire nose his way in any further.

“We’re going to live together… That’s usually how moving in works. Ian asked, and I agreed. What more is there to consider?”

The fingers wrapping around his almost surprised him. He’d meant to grab Ian’s hand, to hold it protectively, to squeeze it in reassurance. He’d meant to do it as soon as he’d put himself between the two brothers. But he’d gotten so caught up in bristling, in channeling all of his unwanted feelings towards Alistaire that he’d forgotten about anything but being angry and it was so unlike himself that the simple caring gesture caught him off-guard. It reminded him of who he was protecting, and why, and it grounded him again.

He gave Ian’s hand a squeeze, for real this time, as Alistaire chided them. He had to bite his tongue, to keep from crying out about what did Alistaire know. Ian’s brother, for all intents and purposes, was nothing like him, and Shiloh couldn’t imagine the cold hunter warming up to anyone. What could he know about love, except about how to ruin it?

Ian spoke before Shiloh could, and Shiloh stared down at the top of his head with unabashed affection, his chest swelling with a touch of pride at being defended. The whole situation was a bit ludicrous, and Ian was right, it was none of Alistaire’s business so Shiloh had no idea why he kept feeling the need to intrude. Conveniently he’d forgotten that he was the reason Alistaire was here in the first place, and he looked up, curling his hand over Ian’s shoulder as he did so.

“Ian’s right, it is none of your business. And I don’t know why you feel the need to make it your business. Our relationship isn’t hurting you, or anyone and we’re both perfectly happy right where we are. Why you feel the need to disapprove of that is beyond me but you act as if you know anything about relationships, about our relationship but you have absolutely no idea. Get it through your head, Alistaire, I love your brother. That’s not going to change. I’m going to love him, I’m going to move in with him, I’m going to grow old with him and I’m going to take the best damn care of him that I possibly can, as long as he will have me. And you’re just going to have to get used to it.”

His words were far braver than he pretended to be, but Shiloh tried his best to stand tall anyway, to resolutely meet Alistaire’s eyes. He meant every word of it, no matter how much he was inwardly shaking.

“Fine, I get it, somewhere in that ball of grump you actually have a heart and you care about your brother. I don’t blame you, he’s a pretty swell guy, I like him a lot. But there’s a difference between concern and disdain.”

He crossed his arms over his chest, watching Alistaire with certain wariness, until Alistaire did something that surprised him. He conceded, if only a little. He let them have something and he finally, at least, acknowledged their feelings. But that was the extent of Shiloh’s surprise, he missed, oblivious though he was, that there might be anything more between the stares that the brothers shared, assuming that Ian was only feeling the same way he did.

Shiloh had no clue.

But what he did have a clue about, was the arm wrapped around him, warm and reassuring and his own arms slackened to his sides and he let himself plop down onto the bed beside Ian, meeting his eyes with the same sort of softened expression.

“It is for me. And if anything comes up, if anything happens, we’ll deal with it then. I’m not going to hold back loving the person I love because it’s safer. You know what happens when you play it safe Alistaire?”

Though he was leaning against Ian, he regarded his brother with all seriousness.

“Time’s too short to not live life, Alistaire. Ours especially, it’s too short to play it safe, to play by whatever rules you think we should be playing by. You live like that and then… And then, it’s too late and you regret all the things you didn’t do, that you didn’t say. I know I did… I do. But that's why, we’ve got a second chance to get this right and it’s enough for me. I love Ian, and that is more than enough reason for me.”

His hand searched for Ian’s, finding it with a squeeze.

“I love you.”

Shiloh opened his mouth, ready with a retort borne of anger and resentment, at being told he couldn’t have something, something that he wanted, that he needed, that he did have and had no intention of giving up.

But the expression on Alistaire’s face paused him just long enough that he said nothing, trying to read the unreadable face that Ian’s brother was giving him. He couldn’t, of course, but it was different from his usual aloofness, less harsh in away, though the next words that came out of his mouth were no less stupid.

Again, Shiloh bristled next to Ian, his squeeze on his hand getting a little too tight. Who was Alistaire to say? Of the three of them, he’d been on the island the shortest, and what had he had to endure? What had he gone through? Shiloh knew just how deadly distraction could be, how reckless it was to have his attention divided. He made decisions he knew he had to make, but that had torn him apart, he’d had to choose! In the end, he always chose Ian. It wasn’t healthy, not by normal standards but when had Deus ever been the paradigm of normal? It was anything but, between the people and the monsters they faced, sometimes interchangeable, and so he clung to the thing that made him feel normal, that made him feel human. Ian kept him sane in a place where he should’ve been dead several times over already, in a place where he never seemed to quite fit in because his mouth was too big and his mind too stubborn.

He didn’t have to say anything, however, because by the time he’d composed his thoughts the only thing that had eked out of him was an angry squeak and Ian had already taken over, with a civility Shiloh hadn’t exactly been able to abide by. But with each word, Shiloh’s hand relaxed its grip on Ian’s, because it reminded him that it didn’t matter what Alistaire thought, as long as they were happy.

It was a happiness he would fight for, right until the bitter end.

“Good,” Shiloh said with a bit of crankiness, unusual for him. He was tired of arguing, especially over this. He’d had a lifetime of disapproval, and he didn’t need more of it here and though Alistaire had relented, for which he was grateful, he wasn’t exactly looking to spend more time than necessary with the man at the moment.

Standing, he slid his hand from Ian’s, and brushed past Alistaire to the door.

“If that’s all then…”

Maybe the three of them could meet up for coffee later or something, and try to repair the broken fences. But for now, he was done.

Shiloh watched the exchange, his regular curiosity tempered by what had transpired. Still, he was glad that Alistaire at least acknowledged his brother and despite his own curtness, the hunter hadn’t been entirely put off. He probably wasn’t anxious to talk to them again either, but Shiloh couldn’t help but feel like they’d at least established boundaries, and they’d done it without mostly biting each other’s heads off. He vowed he’d try harder to be civil to Alistaire in the future, if not for him, for Ian.

He leaned over, after Alistaire had gone and Ian had sunk to the floor, and he pressed a soft kiss to Ian’s forehead before sinking down beside him.

“No way, babe, you kept me grounded. I have to admit, he riles me up pretty good but I just, you know, we love each other! We’re not hurting anyone…”

He shook his head before resting it on Ian’s shoulder.

“I’m glad we sorted some things out though. I’m glad you were here.