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It was a small house, but it was snug and dry and clean, filled with furniture that was old but well-cared for. Axel sat on the plush couch, feeling rather grubby and out of place in his military clothes. His sister sat at the other end of the couch, studying him intently. Birgitte was a few years younger than him, with darker blonde hair and cool gray eyes. She rested her chin on her elbow and her elbow on her knee, leaning towards him at a precarious angle.

"What's her name?"

"Harper," Axel said, edging away.

"What's she look like?"

"Well, she's about your height--"

Birgitte snorted with disgust. "Her height? You're pathetic. How old is she?"

"I don't know," Axel said. He was up against the arm of the couch. There was no escape. Casting a look towards the small dining room, where the table was already set for four, he caught a glimpse of his mother putting a little vase on the table. Probably listening intently. He sighed.

"Did you meet her in your classes? Is she in your dorm? In your dorm?! Axel!" Leaning in so close she was in danger of falling into him, Birgitte smacked him on the arm.

"I -- wait -- what? No!" Axel said desperately. "She's just a friend! She hasn't got any family, so I invited her?"

"No family?" His mother's voice rang out from the dining room. She was shorter than both Birgitte and Axel, her blond hair streaked with iron gray, but her snapping blue eyes were fierce. Lena Halle was a woman that brooked no nonsense. "What's her surname, Axel?"

Axel felt his heart sink for reasons that had nothing to do with Harper. "She's a very nice girl," he said defensively. "I think her name is Kaspar." He had no idea what Harper's surname was, but it was as good a guess as any.

"Hm," Lena said, retreating to the dining room.

A knock at the front door. Thank the walls. Axel sprang to his feet and ran to answer it. Birgitte tried to elbow him out of the way, but Axel reached it first and pulled it open for Harper.

"Hello," Axel said, his eyes teary from the blow to his ribs. "Come in."

Confronted by a wall of flowers, Axel took a step back. It was a relief to hear Harper's distant voice coming from behind the mass of plants. For a moment Axel had feared he was about to be attacked by some kind of flower monster.

"You didn't have to," Axel said, reaching forward to take the flowers from Harper. He staggered slightly under their weight. How had Harper managed to carry these things? Backing away from the door, Axel made a feeble shrugging gesture towards Birgitte. It was all he could do with his hands full of flowers. "This is my sister, Birgitte."

Leaping around Axel and the mass of flowers, Birgitte beamed at the pink-haired girl. "Hi, nice to meetcha!"

Axel only barked his shins twice on his way to the dining room, which was probably a great victory. He peered around the flowers at the small vase. It would hold a normal bouquet, but not ... this. On the plus side, if he found a way to put the flowers on the table, no one would be able to make eye contact during dinner. On the other hand, a wall of flowers on the table would make it more difficult to get to the food. Axel grabbed a handful of flowers out of the bunch and stuffed it into the vase. The rest he set down on the small sideboard.

"Mom, this is Harper. Harper, this is my mother Lena," Axel said, attempting to discreetly pull a rogue dandelion from his nostril.

Lena was all gracious hostess, surveying the peaches-and-cream dinner guest with an approving expression. "Charmed, Harper. We haven't met many of Axel's new friends."

Wait just a minute. Oh. Oh, no. She was still talking about going to lunch? It sounded like a date. Birgitte's smile was positively radiant. At first Lena looked rather taken aback by Harper's rambling stream of compliments, but when Harper snuggled into Axel's arm the woman smiled in a very satisfied manner.

What had he done?

Axel wanted to say firmly that he was not dating Harper, but he suddenly realized that would be news to Harper herself and not just his family. Harper was cuddling into him like, well, like a girlfriend. A small treacherous part of him whispered that Harper was a very nice girl that would make a very nice girlfriend, but Harper wasn't the girl he wanted. And it was kind of awful to suddenly find yourself not only dating someone (at least, in their mind) but introducing them to your mother.

Under the pretense of checking himself for more stray petals, Axel wiped his forehead.

"Don't bother yourself, Harper," Lena said, ushering Harper towards the table. She gave Axel a firm look. On autopilot, he pulled the chair out for Harper before sitting himself. "I'll just be a moment." Leaving them to their own devices, Lena headed for the attached kitchen. By the smell of things, the food was ready. Birgitte sat herself on the opposite side of the table, looking at Harper with fascination.

"How long have you two been dating?" Birgitte asked brightly.

Axel actively concentrated on willing himself to die. It didn't work.

Axel couldn't think of a thing to say. He could only sit, mortified, while Harper and Birgitte chatted. Their first date. Oh walls. He felt paralyzed. How did he break the news to Harper? He couldn't tell her in front of his family. Axel was something of an expert in embarrassing experiences, and he knew telling her they weren't dating while at dinner with his family would be humiliating. While he hadn't meant to lead Harper on, he didn't want to hurt her feelings. She would probably burst into tears and go running off. Oh walls.

"Gosh," said Birgitte, listening with rapt attention and kicking Axel under the table. "That's so sweet. I'm glad you guys hit it off."

Lena bustled back into the dining room, setting down plates. Roasted vegetables and rolls and even meat, a small and very expensive pork roast. She seated herself next to Birgitte and smiled at Harper and Axel. "So Harper, dear, are you from Shiganshina?"

Axel stuffed a piece of bread in his mouth to avoid speaking.

Harper's affectionate touch made Axel's heart sink. Sometimes he felt like a real jerk. Like a horrible, terrible person. The worst person in the world. Now was one of those times. The worst part was the fact that Harper was just so nice. If she'd talked to him years ago, she would have caught his attention. Knowing that he probably would have liked Harper very much if not for other things made him feel like a total a**. He returned Harper's smile sadly.

Lena tsked at the mention of Harper's father's passing. "You poor brave thing. I wasn't thrilled when our Axel joined the military, but it's a relief to know he's meeting the right sort of people there." She smiled warmly. Harper was the right sort.

His mother just looked happier and happier as Harper spoke. Axel could just about read her mind. Sweet, pretty, delicate Harper, trying to find her way in the world after the passing of her respectable father. Respectable, that was it. Harper was Respectable with a capital R, in her speech and her manner and her past, all the way to the tips of her Respectable well-groomed hair. Lena would be disappointed when she found out Harper was not Axel's girlfriend, and he couldn't imagine how she would react if she ever were introduced to the girl he was interested in. Trying to imagine it filled Axel with creeping dread. He gathered his courage and waded into the conversation, trying to steer the topic towards safer waters.

"Harper and I have been learning about the gear," Axel said. "It's very interesting stuff. Right, Harper?"

Axel stared deeply into the vase that held a few of Harper's flowers. Ordinarily he was sure the sheer oddness of the name Preacher would have caught his mother's attention, but the woman was too delighted with Harper to notice.

He took a bite of food and fiddled with his napkin.

We have each other.

Oh, walls.

Birgitte kicked him under the table again and Axel tried to kick her back, but succeeded only in brushing his knee against Harper's.

"Yes, we have good teachers," he said.

Harper's touch was sweet and romantic and nice and before Axel knew what the hell he was doing he reached down and put his hand over hers. Wait, no! No! In a very real sense Axel was a free agent, beholden to no woman and able to date whomever he wanted. But in his heart, he had a serious case of the feels. This was wrong. He was a two-timer!

Aghast, Axel sat frozen. He didn't know what to do next.

"Oh, it's time for dessert. Birgitte, help me with the plates." Lena and Birgitte got up to clear the table, and before Axel could fly to his feet to help them, they were gone.

"So," he said lamely to Harper.

For one horrible, endless moment Axel returned the kiss. For that horrible, endless moment he imagined life with Harper. It was like looking down a long, long road. And it would be nice. She was sweet and friendly and appreciative of everything, and she was funny in her own way. And Axel would be loyal to her, and Harper wouldn't push him away, and they would be happy together. They would have a happy life. Harper would let him be the person he wanted to be.

That was it. That was the difference. Harper would let him be who he wanted to be. Or let him pretend. Preacher forced him to face what he was, and while this was usually a depressing experience Axel felt he needed it all the same.

Axel broke the kiss. He felt really rotten.

"Harper," Axel said, squeezing her hand, "You're a really wonderful girl."

Really rotten.

"And I want to be your friend."

Really. Really. Really rotten.

"But I don't think I can date anyone right now."