Welcome to Gaia! ::

Falarnon sighed, leaning his cheek in against the smooth bark of a birch tree. It was a pretty tree, he reflected, but probably miserable as far as a back scratcher or anything else he himself would find useful. It wasn't even really good to lean against; the trunk was very slim and supple, and was already starting to bend under the pressure of his head. But it was a very pretty tree, and a very smooth tree, and a very cool tree to the touch. So, not a completely terrible tree. Just an ineffective sort of tree.

Though really, why was he even thinking about this? It was just a tree, one of many similar trees in this little birch grove. There was nothing remarkable about it; it wasn't even remarkably unremarkable! It was just...there. And that was the kicker, he realized with another sigh. With everything he had on his mind, it was nice to have something banal and boring to focus on. The alternative was to dwell on his life, and how everything had so recently been blasted to smithereens. One minute, he'd been the product of a traditional family; mated parents, a beloved older brother, doting grandparents. The next, that family picture had a gaping hole in it where his father had been, a hole that Falarnon had...

Well, what had he done, exactly? He certainly hadn't been the sole reason for Aramis' defection, but he had certainly been the catalyst; it had been during his argument with his father that Aramis had revealed the truth about his relationship with Fal's mother Saiena; that he had never loved her, had never meant to stay with her except she had become pregnant and Aramis' honor had demanded he do his duty. After their flare-up, Aramis had gone to Saiena and coolly explained that he was leaving, that it was over, that there was no hope of reconciliation and Saiena shouldn't expect or desire such a thing but move on with her life. And then he was gone.

Falarnon had only learned this after the fact, having taken off for a head-clearing run-about after his flare up with Aramis. Seeing his heartbroken mother and realizing the role he himself had played in the situation, Falarnon had been wracked with sensations of anger and guilt; much as he wanted to be with his mother for longer, her upset was only making him feel worse.

And that was why he was out in the middle of nowhere, trying to find a substantial enough birch tree for him to lean on and trying not to think about anything serious.

To no one in particular, he said in a soft voice, "Life is so complicated."

Falarnon was usually more observant than this; he'd had to be, growing up skittish and afraid of everything that moved! It was a sign of just how inwardly focused he was that the purple mare was able to sneak up on him so effectively; until she spoke, he had no idea there was anyone else there. Needless to say, when another voice came out of nowhere to comment on the abuse he was heaping on the poor birch tree, he started!

But aside from that one jump and a minor flaring of the eyes, he managed to keep his composure. Whatever his own mood was, there was no excuse for being rude to a lady, particularly an unknown lady. Collecting himself, he straightened up, allowing the birch tree to spring back to its naturally straight stance. "You have a very good point, Miss; just because I'm in a bit of a funk is no reason for me to take it out on this tree." Stepping back, he looked up at the tree, carefully checking the trunk where it had been bent for any sign of permanent injury. Seeing nothing, he allowed himself to smile before looking back at the mare. "It seems you rescued it in the nick of time; since the tree cannot speak its thanks itself, I suppose I will do so for it. So...thank you."

Returning her smile with his own, somewhat reserved, smile, he nodded his head slightly at her query. "Yes, unfortunately, but it is a rather depressing subject. I only hope that you are in a better place than I and are able to truly enjoy yourself as you're out and about!" He looked around, seeing if there was anyone accompanying her; seeing no one, he gave the mare herself a slight bow. "I'm Falarnon, by the way; thank you for your timely interruption, I would have felt terrible if I'd broken that tree."

If Falarnon had realized just how transparent he was being, he quite likely would have died of humiliation. He had never been macho or had much of an ego, but that didn't mean he couldn't still be embarrassed! But as it was, he was able to maintain his little delusion of dignity; after all, hadn't he himself just admitted he had depressing things on his mind?

Either way, he welcomed the mare's...Amelia's offer of company. No longer terrified of strangers as he'd been as a foal, Falarnon welcomed the prospect of company, particularly company as warm and friendly as Amelia seemed to be. Perhaps if he spent some time with her, her positivity and happiness would rub off on him and he'd be able to temporarily forget the family drama which had so preoccupied his mind.

"I'd very much like to join you, Miss Amelia, if you don't mind having a sullen fellow like me tagging along at your elbow." With a rueful smile, he stepped away from the tree, stepping up on Amelia's right side with a gentlemanly bob of his head. "Though please, don't feel compelled to call me 'Mister', Falarnon is fine. Or if that's too long, you could call me Fal...or Larnie, as my brother likes to call me." Poor Vencel; who knew what state HE was currently in, or if he even knew what was going on!

Feeling a bit guilty because he hadn't made a point of seeking Ven out to tell him, Falarnon firmly squelched down those thoughts as he replied to Amelia's last question. "Thinking, mostly, but I'm afraid my thoughts have started to run away with me. But what about yourself...aside of rescuing over-bent trees and over-thought stallions," he added with a smile.

They must have different definitions of sullen, if Amelia didn't think he was sullen, but Falarnon was ok with that. He knew his behavior wasn't up to the standards he’d been raised to display, and he would have to work on that before he went home to tell his brother, if not his mother, about what a complete horse’s a** their father had proved to be. He doubted he’d ever be able to bring himself to tell his mother Saiena what he had learned in his conversation with Aramis. He knew she deserved to be told the specifics, but hadn't she already been through enough with Aramis leaving? The last thing she needed was to know that one of her own sons had forced her mate to leave.

And there he was, going back to the depressing place again. Amelia might be willing to put up with his behavior for now, but he didn't doubt having a brooding stallion along would get tiresome very quickly. So he gave her apologetic smile, feeling that he owed her a little explanation, if not the whole story. He doubted he’d be willing to go into that with anyone, not for a long time. “Well, I appreciate your patience, Amelia, and your…availability? Is that the right word there,” he asked with a small, slightly crooked smile. “It’s nice to know you’ve got an ear to listen, but I don’t really feel like talking about it. I’d honestly rather forget it completely, but I don’t think that’s going to happen any time soon,” he added with a sigh. “I think what I’d really like at this point is to think about anything else, or talk about anything else, or do anything to get it off my mind.”

Wow, he was proving a great conversationalist…not. “Sorry, that sounds a bit muddled, I know. I’m a lot better at thinking than talking, and it’s been a while since I've had just a normal conversation.” Did that sound pretentious? Or weird? Was he coming off as weird, or just depressed? Gads, he was proving to be bad company even for himself, let alone Amelia! Stifling the urge to sigh again, he instead gave himself a good shake, from nose to tail. “Now this is just seeming weird to me. Can we go back, and undo everything I just said, and start over from where we introduced ourselves and you invited me to take a walk?” Again, he gave the small, slightly crooked smile, hoping he didn't seem as off-putting to her as he was being to himself. “I don’t have any direction I’d like to go either, so how about we just walk and talk and see what we come across?” Provided they watched where they were going, he couldn't think of anything wrong with that scenario! “And in the meantime, you can decide about names.”

There. That was less awkward, right?