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 Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 9:02 pm
Hey nerds.
So I recently discovered the term Demisexual and when I did it was kinda an ‘A-HA’ moment for me. I had already decided I wasn’t ‘typical’/allosexual but I knew I wasn’t A and gray never seemed quite right either. I’m still not 100% sure that demi is the right label for me but it is the first one I think I have connected.
Anyone else here under the ace umbrella? I would love to hear your stories of finding or not finding labels that fit you.
P.S. I'm not saying that people should have to try and fit certain labels, of find the ones the suit them perfectly, to me it is more about how figuring out these things help you understand yourself a little bit better, and the power in know you are not the only one.
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Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 9:04 pm
In blogs/tumblers I have been reading recently I see so many young people (14/15) questioning their sexuality. It always kinda surprises me, I always just assumed I was ‘normal’ and never thought to question it until I was like 23, 24 even. I never when threw the teenage girl boy crazy stage, but I figured I just wasn’t crazy (or maybe I was a late bloomer and it was still coming). I had only ever really had one boyfriend, but even that for me was more just an experiment in what having a boyfriend means. I guess part of why I never questioned was because most my close friends are not highly sexual people either.
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Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:03 pm
Hi,
I happen to be straight but I do understand the need for identity, having other people like yourself out their, and being labeled. I'm a nerd and proud of it. Back in the 1970's and 1980's their were many hurtful labels out their. I'm 50 years young btw. To have alternate life styles or being a nerd was considered uncool and I was bullied a lot just for trying to be myself. I was a nonconformist. I didn't drink, swear, smoke, etc. I was considered an outcast because I wasn't in the cool crowd, or a jock , or in other clicks. I treat people like they should be treated with respect no matter who they are and I appreciate others doing the same for me. When I was growing up I was expected to date girls, find a wife, get a career, a house, and then have lots of kids. It sounded like a nice dream but I felt pressured at the same time, which I felt wasn't fair.
These days It seems like their are more labels than people. My best advice is to be who you are and have fun figuring out who you want to be. Don't let other people label you, but if you do find others that have the same life style and values that you do I think that's wonderful. One of my favorite shows is Star Trek and one of the things that I believe in is IDIC, Infinite Diversity Infinite Combination. To me that means that everyone is different and special in their own way. Another thing that is shown in the Original Star Trek series in the 1960's is that people from different backgrounds worked together for the common good. The World would be a better place if that happened in real life.
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2014 12:58 am
Crazy_Herb In blogs/tumblers I have been reading recently I see so many young people (14/15) questioning their sexuality. It always kinda surprises me, I always just assumed I was ‘normal’ and never thought to question it until I was like 23, 24 even. I never when threw the teenage girl boy crazy stage, but I figured I just wasn’t crazy (or maybe I was a late bloomer and it was still coming). I had only ever really had one boyfriend, but even that for me was more just an experiment in what having a boyfriend means. I guess part of why I never questioned was because most my close friends are not highly sexual people either.
When I grew up there were four main titles: Straight, Homosexual, Transsexual and Bisexual. Today there is a lot of titles that I really just can't keep track of how different they are. Love and falling in love is never good to be forced. If your 23/24 your still trying to get your life on track. I'm 22 it took me 5 years to fall in love again after my first real relationship back when I was 16/17. So it does take time to develop. Try not to worry to much about titles and relax. Really think about what is important to you in a relationship. What are you looking for in a significant other? Try dating. It doesn't automatically mean you two are head over heals in love, but it allows you to figure out what you want and what you don't want in a relationship. (Please don't mistake what I'm saying as one night stands because often time people mix up dating and that too many times) Dating is meeting potential loves to see if they could be someone you want to spend your life with.
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Queen_EnchantedLuck Captain
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2014 2:10 am
It seems like people are coming up with new labels/categories every day at the moment, and I kinda like that. It makes it less about trying to fit and more about finding others that fit with you, if that makes any sense. I’m still not certain of my sexuality, I don’t really know if I’m straight or bi or gay and I’m ok with that. In then end the only thing that will answer these questions is actually meeting people.
As for find a significant other, I generally I don’t stress that much about finding someone, it’s not a high priority for me at this point. Though the older I get (25 next month) the more I think maybe I should be worrying about it.
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2014 2:37 pm
Crazy_Herb It seems like people are coming up with new labels/categories every day at the moment, and I kinda like that. It makes it less about trying to fit and more about finding others that fit with you, if that makes any sense. I’m still not certain of my sexuality, I don’t really know if I’m straight or bi or gay and I’m ok with that. In then end the only thing that will answer these questions is actually meeting people. As for find a significant other, I generally I don’t stress that much about finding someone, it’s not a high priority for me at this point. Though the older I get (25 next month) the more I think maybe I should be worrying about it. I took my time with dating, Throughout my 20's I treated dating like it was a big adventure. I went to all kinds of places, tried out dating services, went to singles functions, etc. A big part of the adventure was meeting new people and checking out the different places. I never knew who I was going to meet next which made it fun. For me it was about finding a companion to spend time with. Someone who liked many of the things that I did. As for Love and finding a significant other I knew that when I found the right person I would know it. After 10 years of dating I found the person who would become my wife. I didn't rush into anything during my dating years which made all the difference. As for sexuality I'm certain that it will become clear to you with time. I have friends of all different life styles and sexuality and I think that it's wonderful that in these times they don't have to hide it like people did when I was younger.
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Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2014 10:08 am
Crazy_Herb Hey nerds. So I recently discovered the term Demisexual and when I did it was kinda an ‘A-HA’ moment for me. I had already decided I wasn’t ‘typical’/allosexual but I knew I wasn’t A and gray never seemed quite right either. I’m still not 100% sure that demi is the right label for me but it is the first one I think I have connected. Anyone else here under the ace umbrella? I would love to hear your stories of finding or not finding labels that fit you. P.S. I'm not saying that people should have to try and fit certain labels, of find the ones the suit them perfectly, to me it is more about how figuring out these things help you understand yourself a little bit better, and the power in know you are not the only one. I find myself under the umbrella so so speak...
Throughout my life it's been a struggle trying to determine what i identify as..
The finding of a "label" was mostly for telling people what i am, i guess? because the people i find myself surrounded by need a solid label and not a "eh i like who i like when i like them" type of thing.
In the past few years I had been identifying as pansexual until recently when i discovered the "bi-romantic" "pan-romantic" "homo-romantic" titles... so to speak.
I feel like I exist under the pan-romantic asexual "label" because it best describes how i am in my life.
Throughout my life I've found myself becoming romantically attracted to a variety of people-gender-etc.
In my life i've become fond of: a homosexual man, lesbians, bisexuals, mtf/ftm people... just any gender, any sexuality, anyone.
Which led me to believe I was not bisexual..
I took on the label pansexual for a while because of the 'Pan' portion and my not knowing "asexual" really existed.
My sexual drive is very low and or nonexistent most months out of the year. Even when with people I trusted completely and happily i never quite had much of a sexual attraction to them or a desire to have sex.
To expand on that, most people think that because i'm asexual that i cannot find someone beautiful or attractive and they are wrong.. i can still find people to be physically attractive but i just have no sexual pull to them.
But that might change one day.. I keep thinking that maybe i haven't found the person in which i'll maybe develop a sexual attraction to..
so with that said i might be demisexual.. but ultimately just leaving it at asexual for now.
-shrugs-
So there is my story... >.>;
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2014 12:56 am
Thank you for sharing. For me having the label is as much about explaining myself to me as it is about explaining myself to other people. I know that it is not the entire story, but it give a starting point to understanding myself better. Most the people in my life, that I'm prepared to admit that I'm Demi to, I would also have no problem telling them that really I have know idea who I'm attracted to or why and that demi just seems to be a good fit for now
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