"Now, what did we learn from this?"
How long had she been sitting there? Aquarius wasn't sure, but she knew that the answer didn't really matter. Time was a human construct. It had no purpose in space, especially without the movements of the Earth that gave it meaning. Everything in the universe that mattered was millions of miles away. Being so far from the heart of things, was it any surprise that her life lost what little significance it might have had?
"Exidor? How did you deal with it, back then?" Aquarius looked around for the ghost and found him leaning, if a ghost could be said to lean, against the arch that led to the atrium. "You were all alone, so far from everything important. How did you keep from going crazy?" Was it even possible for her to prevent that at this point?
She thought he would ignore her, and was mistaken yet again. "There was something important. A mission." He was choosing his words carefully, she could tell. "A senshi's mission connects them with their whole world, and every other soldier fighting for the same cause, no matter where they are."
"But I have a mission-"
"No, you don't. You have an incredibly misguided goal, and you're aiming for it all by yourself."
Something about that made Aquarius laugh in surprise, and she went on rather longer than she expected, simply because laughing was something she had almost forgotten how to do. "You can't really think I'm the only one who wants to save other people." Because that was insane. Hadn't Laney just proven him wrong, by trying to save her? Not that she needed saving, she told herself. Laney would understand that, in time.
"If you still think that is what you're trying to accomplish out here, then you are even more lost than I thought." Exidor's voice was sharp and harsh. "You are ignoring what everyone else is trying to tell you, and that, more than your physical location, is what isolates you. Your refusal to see the situation for what it is."
"No, that's not it- they just don't understand! Nobody understands! Not even you, and you're supposed to be me!" Aquarius snorted. She had been foolish, taking what he said seriously for even a moment. Clearly her past self was even nuttier than she was.
Exidor stood up straight. "The one who doesn't understand is you. Or rather, you understand all too well- and that's what scares you, isn't it?"
Shrinking back against the door, Aquarius began to pull on her braid anxiously. "No, that's not-"
"You're so terrified of arriving at the right conclusion that you've stopped yourself from thinking. If you were just willing to listen to what other people are telling you- or even to listen to what your heart is saying-"
"No!" The word came out as a scream. She closed her eyes and covered her ears, trying to block everything out. He was trying to break her, and she would not break that easily. Not when something more important than her own well-being was at stake.
Even through her hands, she could hear his voice corkscrewing into all of her insecurities and fears. She could almost see the savage grin on his face, as he sensed that he was finally getting somewhere. "My, what delusions of godhood you have. What else could explain your belief that you maintain the balance between life and death? Or is it that you have no faith in those you love?"
"No... it's not them..."
"No? But it's clear you don't trust them. After all, how can you put your trust in anyone who believes in someone as flawed as you?"
Aquarius' eyes opened wide, and she stood to face Exidor. But before she could speak, to try to deny his claims, she sat down abruptly, any retort she might have come up with chased away by what she saw.
The ghost was gone. In its place was a monster, green and slimy, as tall as the ceiling. It loomed over her, showing off long claws, sharp teeth, and spikes along its back and tails. There must have been at least ten appendages, tails and legs and arms, which waved around menacingly. It was like a combination of the worst parts of every monster she had ever faced, and some she had only imagined. The youma moved closer- how, she wasn't quite sure- and roared soundlessly.
She screamed again, wordlessly. This was it. The universe had decided to stop wasting its time on her and try again. She'd almost been expecting it, but she didn't think it would happen like this. Fighting it didn't even come to mind. Instead, she pressed herself against the door, hands plastered over her face, and hoped that it wouldn't hurt too much.
Except nothing happened. What was it waiting for? Shaking all over, Aquarius peeked through a gap in her fingers, expecting to see fangs or talons about to pierce through her fragile body.
Instead, she saw Exidor standing over her. His expression was unreadable, and once she realized that it was him, he turned and headed into the atrium, leaving her alone to ponder exactly what had just happened. Or to catch her breath and wait for her heart rate to stabilize before following, slowly and shakily. As he'd guessed, she really didn't want to know.