Poor Life Choices
"You can't tell me to regulate my porn watching!"
"Is that your leg?"
"Yea-nooooo?"
"CONTEXT, PLEASE."
"I am the ALPHA SQUIRREL. Majestic as ********, steak fries."
"Watch out!" *slap*
*on being told the museum exhibit is graphic in nature* "It's fine, she's an artist, I'm a writer, and he works for Disneyland. We're good."
*after being denied and checked out at a naval base* "Allah awkward."
"Take it easy, Fresh and Easy."
"It's the (adjective) thing in the outback. I'm gonna touch/wrassle/piss on it."
"And such is the Kingdom of Heaven."
"It would be immaculate, cause it would be FLAWLESS." Kyle, on Noelle's impending pregnancy.
"I need to go to the bathroom."
"Need me to hold it?"
"That poor bartender. She went out to have a cigarette, and then three penises just rammed her."
"Choking is less painful."
"If you're doing it wrong, maybe."
"I'm a blatant tourist!"
"HE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE!"
"That's because you have a beard. Jenny does not."
"Only dreams now." *HEADSLAM*
"My titties shall not be calmed! They are free range titties! Cage free! ALL NATURAL!"
"You'll come quicker if you shake it."
"Why are you using me as a pillow?"
"Because there's a crotch next to me! You can't even blame me!"
"Awww, I want to be a beefed out demonic goat goddess."
"Chiiiiips? BEAN DIP!"
"Is that your leg?"
"Yea-nooooo?"
"CONTEXT, PLEASE."
"I am the ALPHA SQUIRREL. Majestic as ********, steak fries."
"Watch out!" *slap*
*on being told the museum exhibit is graphic in nature* "It's fine, she's an artist, I'm a writer, and he works for Disneyland. We're good."
*after being denied and checked out at a naval base* "Allah awkward."
"Take it easy, Fresh and Easy."
"It's the (adjective) thing in the outback. I'm gonna touch/wrassle/piss on it."
"And such is the Kingdom of Heaven."
"It would be immaculate, cause it would be FLAWLESS." Kyle, on Noelle's impending pregnancy.
"I need to go to the bathroom."
"Need me to hold it?"
"That poor bartender. She went out to have a cigarette, and then three penises just rammed her."
"Choking is less painful."
"If you're doing it wrong, maybe."
"I'm a blatant tourist!"
"HE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE!"
"That's because you have a beard. Jenny does not."
"Only dreams now." *HEADSLAM*
"My titties shall not be calmed! They are free range titties! Cage free! ALL NATURAL!"
"You'll come quicker if you shake it."
"Why are you using me as a pillow?"
"Because there's a crotch next to me! You can't even blame me!"
"Awww, I want to be a beefed out demonic goat goddess."
"Chiiiiips? BEAN DIP!"
