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 Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2014 10:09 pm
The First Day
He'd lied to Jack.
There had been no break in to Ian's old room, and they both knew it, even if Jack had given in to him after all. But Ian hadn't been lying when he said he'd wanted to make sure Jack's things were kept safe while he was away; and he hadn't been making things up when he'd said he considered Jack a friend, because in spite of everything (aka Jack's less-than-pleasant, brutally honest demeanor and his severe lack of social skills), Ian did see him as a friend and he did owe him.
It did not lessen the debt, but Ian had pushed away all of his friends for so long; had let himself be engulfed in the downward spiral that had taken him away from everything that he had once thought of as meaningful. Drowning had been preferable at the time, but now it wasn't, and now Ian was attempting to make up for his mess of a life that he'd managed to screw up so royally.
Step One had been to tell Shiloh how he had felt and see if Shiloh would give him a second chance, and that had gone better than Ian had hoped. He hadn't honestly expected for him to take him back, but he wasn't about to complain, and he certainly wasn't about to screw things up again.
Step Two had been to try and get out of his comfort zone and start socializing again, which had proven to be more difficult and more complicated than expected, so Ian had skipped to
Step Three, which was to spend more time with Shiloh, and since they had just moved in together, this was proving to be going swimmingly. Which meant that, unfortunately for Ian, regardless of his blissfully mutually affectionate relationship, Ian was now back at
Step Two. It had been weeks since Ian had talked to anyone other than Shiloh (and Jack, if you counted the infirmary visit right after he'd gotten back from the Haunted House, which was part of why Ian owed him; after all, it had been Jack pushing him and texting Shiloh that had gotten them back together, or at least in the same room where Ian had found the strength to speak at last), perhaps even months, and it was a lot harder to regrow lost friendships than to start new ones. Offering to take care of Jack's room while he was away had been an attempt to take a step in the right direction, and maybe it was - but it also didn't do much good on the socializing aspect, considering that Jack was away, and therefore not available to be socialized with.
(Not that Jack ever did much socializing himself anyway, something Ian was determined to fix with these blind dates he and Shiloh and Finn and Abbi had all worked on; but that was something to be considered once the Jolly Green Giant had returned from wherever he'd be sent.)
In the meantime, while he was still gathering up both the physical and the mental strength to figure out how to talk to his friends again (if they were even still his friends), he would take care of Jack's room and also accomplish the little ulterior motive that he had had all along. Jack had probably suspected as much, but not the actual task, which Ian hoped would maybe, just maybe, get him out of his shell and remove the <******** off sticker currently stamped on Jack's forehead.
Or maybe it would fail miserably and Jack would just tell him to get out and never be friends with him again, which was more than likely, but regardless of this, Ian was still determined to try.
When he first stepped into Jack's room it was to notice the obvious - that it was very Jack; hardly warm and fuzzy, but instead clean and neat, almost obsessively so, just like the note that Jack had left him. Everything was kept careful and tidy, though it smelled of coffee, rather than antiseptic or cleaning products, which was mildly surprising. Ian shut the door slowly behind him, then stood with his hands on his hips.
First things first - inspection.
He tried the desk drawer first, saw the note, and laughed to himself before turning it over so that the "Did you think it would be that easy?" was face down. Ian moved to the guitar case, laying it gently down on the bed and flipping the latches so that he could look inside, but there was nothing but the guitar itself - and a very nice guitar it was, too. Ian plucked a few of the strings, letting the rich sound echo throughout the pristine room before he closed the case again and put the guitar back where it belonged, leaning to the side of the window.
He opened the closet out of curiosity, but closed the doors again after a brief second, not wanting to intrude too much. It was difficult to feel at home in such a stiff room; Ian wondered how Jack was able to handle the rather forlorn lack of personal belongings, and it reminded him forcefully of Alistaire's room, which was both depressing and annoying all at once.
Ian sat down on the bed and, just to make the room a little less perfect in appearance, turned down one of the corners of the blankets before he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small notebook with a pen attached. Ian stuck the pen in his mouth, holding it between his teeth while he fiddled with the notebook, and then once he had it open to a blank page, he took the pen out again. Shifting, Ian set the notebook in his lap and began to scribble out a few notes.
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Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2014 9:11 pm
The First DayOl-j-man Dear Jack,
You suck.
Love, Ian Quote: Dear Jack,
Why do you have to be such a d**k all the time Quote: Dear Jack, First of all, I know you don't trust me. You should trust me, but that's beside the point. Anyway, I didn't offer to watch your room because I wanted to mess anything up in it, I was being serious when I said I wanted to watch it because if you don't think so, we're friends, and I owe you (even if you said this doesn't alleviate any of that). I care about you, even if you think it's a load of bull, and maybe it's stupid, but recent events have made it all the more clear that I need to stop hiding away. Really, I don't know why people like you. You're an arrogant d**k. You talk down to people. You seem to carry a chip on your shoulder the size of Antarctica. You don't seem to care about anyone but yourself, and you create the Great Wall of Jack between you and everyone else. But in spite of all that, I know you actually do care about people, because otherwise you wouldn't have done what you did for me and Shiloh. You could have told me I was I was a shithead (which I was, but that's beside the point), and you could have told me that I was out of luck, that because I was a stupid a*****e, I deserved whatever punishment I got. I certainly thought I did. You clearly didn't because otherwise you wouldn't have done what you did for me. I screwed things up. I ******** them up majorly because I was too scared of the alternative, but in spite of your self-proclaimed disdain for everything and everyone, you still pushed me to talk to Shiloh again. You still nursed me back to health, and you still texted him. Say what you want - deny it, tell me that you were just doing your duty as a Life hunter, tell me that you just wanted to get me out of your hair by indulging in my silly romantic whims, but telling me to talk to Shiloh wasn't any "duty." It's because of you that we're together now, and I can't even express my gratitude enough. ...this is a ******** sappy as hell letter, but to hell with it. You might not even read this, or maybe you'll just roll your eyes like you always do and throw it away, but I still wrote it and you're still gonna get it when you get back. I will shove it in your freaking face if you try to avoid it, so hopefully you at least read it and maybe you'll get it into your head that you're my friend. Obviously everything isn't totally fixed between Shy and me, but we're on the right path, and I love him, not that you care about that (or maybe you do, and you're just pretending that you don't actually give a s**t that you helped us back on our feet). And for the record, when Finn told us about those "dates" he's been trying to set you up on and asked us if we wanted in on it - I think it's a good thing. I know he's not trying to get you a girlfriend or anything (or a boyfriend, whatever floats your boat, I have no idea what your preferences are, though I suspect the former, rather than the latter), so cut us all some slack okay? We're trying to get you friends, not send you to bed with people (unless you really want that, in which case have at it). So, now that I've said my piece, Jack ******** Hawthorn, you better get your a** back here safely so I can give you this letter and be endlessly mocked for it. Cheerfully yours, Ian P.S. I may or may not have played your guitar a bit.
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 7:22 pm
medigel Text to Jackalope:HOLY HELL YOU'RE ALIVE Quote: Text to Jackalope:Jeez man are you doing okay are you drinking water and taking vitamins Quote: Text to Jackalope:I hope you haven't encountered any bugs because that would suck
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:37 pm
kuroopu Text to I. Rahal-Nazari:Yes Mother I am fine thank you ever so much. /s Quote: Text to I. Rahal-Nazari:I've only encountered one leech but it's no problem. Quote: Text to I. Rahal-Nazari:I would like a status report if you have the time now.
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:55 pm
medigel Text to Jack O'Lantern:glad to hear it biggrin Quote: Text to Jack O'Lantern:leeches are gross, did it suck your blood Quote: Text to Jack O'Lantern:are you a vampire now Quote: Text to Jack O'Lantern:status report, what am I, your subordinate? jeez man Quote: Text to Jack O'Lantern:your room is fine, it looks exactly the same as it did when you left it Quote: Text to Jack O'Lantern:with the exception of one added man sitting on your bed texting you Quote: Text to Jack O'Lantern:other than that everything is fine and dandy Quote: Text to Jack O'Lantern:are you coming back soon?
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 10:15 pm
kuroopu Text to I. Rahal-Nazari:No but it used to suck something better. Quote: Text to I. Rahal-Nazari: Forgive me if I don't believe you. I know who we're friends with. I know Finn wants his grimy hands on my guitar. Quote: Text to I. Rahal-Nazari: Give me a full update on what has been going on first.
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 10:41 pm
medigel Text to Jackson Michael:you just made a joke out of that I'm so proud right now Quote: Text to Jackson Michael:are you spying on me Quote: Text to Jackson Michael:look finn said the guitar was his okay I swear I thought it was Quote: Text to Jackson Michael:I didn't even know you had a guitar so I thought he was right Quote: Text to Jackson Michael:also whatever chelsea says I did not let her into your room Quote: Text to Jackson Michael:nothing exciting has happened here, if that's what you mean Quote: Text to Jackson Michael:deus has been pretty quiet, there's been no updates on anything; it's like we're at a standstill Quote: Text to Jackson Michael:find anyone interesting to hang out with while you're there?
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 10:58 pm
kuroopu Text to I. Rahal-Nazari: Getting grilled alive by the desert sun does wonders for character development. Quote: Text to I. Rahal-Nazari: I always knew you were a ******** retard but I didn't think you'd catch a double dose from your ******** faggy bf. Did you seriously believe that? Did you seriously believe the guitar that YOU HEARD ME USE BEFORE and that IS IN MY ROOM could ever actually be SOMEONE ELSES? Quote: Text to I. Rahal-Nazari: <******** you Jesus Christ I knew I shouldn't have trusted you with anything Quote: Text to I. Rahal-Nazari: <******** ******** your boring Deus s**t and ******** your fake interest in my day You couldn't even do one ******** job right
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 11:05 pm
The return texts were filled with a generous helping of that seething on Ian's behalf, as well as doused in a significant amount of exasperation, frustration, and maybe a little annoyance as well.medigel Text to Jack B Nimble:OH FOR PETE'S SAKE PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER JACK ******** HAWTHORN Quote: Text to Jack B ******** YOU a*****e I WAS GENUINELY INTERESTED IN YOUR LIFE Quote: Text to Jack B Nimble:when are you going to learn that people actually do ******** care about you even if all you do is push people away Quote: Text to Jack B Nimble:okay I ******** lied I didn't have a break in at my room I just wanted to get you to let me watch your room Quote: Text to Jack B Nimble:not because I wanted to mess anything up but because I actually wanted to DO SOMETHING FOR A FRIEND YOU SELFISH a** Quote: Text to Jack B Nimble:stop pushing me away and stop playing the victim Quote: Text to Jack B Nimble:but no, you're jack ******** hawthorn, everything is about you Quote: Text to Jack B Nimble:I was so ******** glad to hear you were still alive out there Quote: Text to Jack B Nimble:and that you were not just alive but okay Quote: Text to Jack B Nimble:but apparently you don't give a s**t about that
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 11:26 pm
kuroopu Text to I. Rahal-Nazari:Oh good you're not such a retard that you at least understood that part. Quote: Text to I. Rahal-Nazari:I knew you were lying. nmobody ******** breaks in to steal bracelets you ******** mouthbreather Quote: Text to I. Rahal-Nazari:You wanted to do something for a friend? You think letting someoen steal my guitar and letting someone I expressly told you not to allow just waltz inside was doing something nice? Quote: Text to I. Rahal-Nazari:I knew something stupid would happen and I was gonnas let it slide because that's jus twhat happens in my life but REALLY? Next you're going to tell me someone scuffed my shoes or broke into my s**t
(Now that was a real joke.)Quote: Text to I. Rahal-Nazari:You know what Ian yeah this is about me. My room. My rules. My trust. All of which you apparently didn't care enough about in your day to day boredom of Deus Ex Machina.
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 11:41 pm
medigel Text to Car Jack:your insults are getting less creative by the second, maybe that's a good thing Quote: Text to Car Jack:maybe you're finally letting go of that ridiculous woe is me facade and actually showing real emotions for once and that's why you're not texting all nice and pretty anymore Quote: Text to Car Jack:oh for pete's sake GET OVER YOURSELF IT'S JUST A GUITAR IT'S NOT LIKE STOLE YOUR ******** GIRLFRIEND OR WHATEVER Quote: Text to Car Jack:look if you want to blame me, then go ahead and do that, but just because you push and push and try to shut me out doesn't mean I'm going anywhere Quote: Text to Car Jack:if there's one thing I am, Jack ******** Hawthorn, it's stubborn, and I am not about to give up on you, Jack ******** Hawthorn, so you best just accept that I'm not going anywhere anytime soon Quote: Text to Car Jack:oh look I'm still in your room GUESS WHAT NOT LEAVING Quote: Text to Car Jack:it'll still be here when you get back and so will I because we are friends even if you deny it into infinity and even if you would rather kiss Finn than admit that we're friends I will still go to my death saying that you're my friend and that I care about you and your life Quote: Text to Car Jack:so suck on that Jack ******** Hawthorn
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Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 12:44 am
There was silence on his end again for a while.
(A furious typing and then deleting and retyping and slowing down and minimizing and perfecting because simply turning off his phone wasn't enough, no, he had to have the last word--)kuroopu Typing message to I. Rahal-NazariA lobotomized monkey could d
Delete.
Quote: Typing message to I. Rahal-NazariThat's what I get for putting up a suicidal f** in char
Delete.
Quote: Typing message to I. ******** you and your friendship I didn
Delete.
(Long ago maybe he might have asked for something else, if he had been honest with himself in his heart of hearts, in another universe where the planets aligned, if things had been different, if things had for once been okay instead of always conflicted, always leaning towards hate, but what did that matter now? Not at all of course, not at all.)Quote: Text to I. Rahal-Nazari:I trusted you to do something and you failed to live up to that responsibility. That is what it all boils down to, not what was taken or who was in there. I don't expect you to understand how much it disturbs me to have people in my room, but I thought you respected our friendship enough that you'd at least put some effort into your duty.
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Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 9:13 am
A long pause separated the time from Jack's last text and the next one from Ian, because maybe the latter was squirming guiltily where he sat, typing out the beginnings of several messages before he realized how stupid they sounded, how childish. There was a valid reason for Jack's irritation, because, after all, Ian had failed him in at least one respect (or maybe two, if you counted Chelsea's unexpected invasion), but that didn't mean that Jack had to be mean to him.
Except one tiny, niggling part of Ian couldn't help but be stupidly pleased in spite of the situation because there it was, in writing, where it couldn't be taken back:
"I thought you respected our friendship enough that you'd at least put some effort into your duty."
Jack was totally using it against him, of course, and maybe he was using it in a snide, scathing sort of way meant to guilt trip him (it was sort of working), but Ian was still pleased anyway, even he when Jack got home he was going to be killed and skinned on the spot.
Even if it was naive and childish and stupid, he was easy to please when it came to people he cared about.medigel Text to Jackdamnit:low blow Quote: Text to Jackdamnit:I respect you, Jack ******** Hawthorn Quote: Text to Jackdamnit:pretty sure you don't respect me, but that's okay, I'll take what I can get anyway, and your room will be as pristine as it was when you left it when you get back Quote: Text to Jackdamnit:I've missed your sarcasm but not that dismissiveness of yours Quote: Text to Jackdamnit:don't get killed out there, Jack ******** Hawthorn
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Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 4:02 pm
(Why on earth would anyone respect him? Work ethic was expected, not unique. Problem solving was a skill every person should have. Dicketry was not a profession to be pursued, not something he embarked on of his own volition.) Another twenty minutes went by. He opted to text other people while trying to rearrange the nasty and confusing tangle of knots inside himself. (What did one say to show understanding of how petty it was to be angry, or explain how selfish it was to initiate the fight just to read those words, or how underhanded and rewarding it was to use a word he took great care to avoid just to manipulate? What appropriate reaction was there to being missed by someone who meant it?) kuroopu Text to I. Rahal-Nazari:It's not my style to get killed for someone else's sake. (No, he killed a woman one time and ran away from his duty another time, just to save his skin. Again, who respected a person like that?)
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Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 7:08 pm
medigel Text to Jack Daniels:spoken like a true Jack ******** Hawthorn Quote: Text to Jack Daniels:come back soon so we can argue more and you can pretend you hate me while I pigheadedly and stubbornly stick to my belief that we're friends
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