Welcome to Gaia! ::

Name: Jackson Rudolph
Nickname: Jack

Age: 20

Birthday: December 13

Sign: Sagittarius

Gemstone: Sapphire

Blood Type: B+

Fav. Food: Curried Crab, Biscuits and Gravy, most "comfort foods." Also a large fan of lemonade and fruit juices.

Hated Food: Red meats, celery, and pickles.

School: None diploma with left school.

Hobbies:

Parcheesi: Jackson picked up an antique game board when he was younger, mostly because the name sounded funny. He grew to love playin the game, and always drags the set out and insists a round when guests are over.

Gardening:Jackson lines his apartment windowsills with planters on planters full of herbs and petite varieties of vegetables. They serve as both a mostly free food source, and a way to brighten up his dingy studio.

Tea Ceremonies: Jackson finds traditional tea ceremonies to be one of the most serene experiences he can afford, what with tea leaves being cheap nowadays and everything for the ceremonies sold for a steal at the thrift store. It provides a little bit of peace in a life full of uncertainty.

Virtues: Resourcefulness: Jack excels at scraping together something from seemingly nothing, be it a delicious meal of beans and rice or a fun night on the town with his similarly broke friends. He does the same when caught in sticky situations - dodging the landlord until he scrounges up rent, getting odd jobs through friends of friends of friends, using a beer bottle to make a quick escape from an enraged bar patron.

Flexibility: Jack's only able to be so resourceful, though, because he tolerates stress and hard times so well. Not to say the man doesn't have a breaking point - it's just a lot higher up the metaphoric ladder than most. Jack doesn't mind if he's sleeping in a bed, a sleeping bag, or a blanket on the floor, just in the same way he doesn't mind having to instant ramen 8 days of the week.

Thrifty: Being a high school dropout, kicked out of his parents' house at 17, forces Jack to live a bit on the less luxurious side of life. 3 years of living on a vice gripped budget has taught Jack to not only live humbly and grow his own veggies, but how to get the most he can for as little pay - both in money and effort.

Flaws:

Aimless: Jack's current goal in life is to keep breathing for the next 24 hours. His day starts without any goals, and he just hopes to make it home - or at least to some form of shelter - by the end of the night. Occasionally, he'll come up with a temporary goal, like making rent within two days, but that's as lofty as the young man's aims get.

Selfish: Jackson takes as much as he can, whenever he can. Free samples? He's the guy shoveling them into his bag until caught, and even then Jack will swipe four or five more. He's less than giving, even to friends, but gladly receives with empty promises of returning the favor. When called out on his behavior, the man tends to simply shrug and tell a spruced up sob story about his childhood.

Meddlesome: Jack loves stirring s**t up when he can, mostly for the sake of entertainment, but also in the hopes of creating situations he can use to make things better for himself. Pitching two competitive friends against each other to see who can best the other in making a cake, for instance. It's mostly petty, small things that Jack gains, but mostly the self-satisfaction of having brief control over someone.


PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Eyes: Brown
Hair: White that ombres to a rich, dark brown. Grown long and reaches to his butt.
Face: Soft and pale, with a smattering of freckles.
Clothes: Comfy, loose robes with deer hoof-print details. They probably smell a little like GoodWill.

Hey Carhop! Welcome to Moonshop! Let's take a look at Jackson so we can move him forward for you!

On his civi side, just a little reminder that once he is fully stamped, you have until his 21st birthday to get his senshi side! After that point, he would not be able to upgrade to a senshi.
Everything else for his Civilian side looks great!

Now, onto his senshi form!

There are several key things for all three of the attacks. (And please correct me if I am reading them wrong!).
A senshi's magic is not channeled through physical items. As they are currently written, all three attacks appear to require the bangles he wears on his wrists in his senshi form. This would not be possible and the bangles he wears when powered up should just be viewed as physical decoration. If you wanted him to use bangles as an item in the attack, they would need to be ethereal in form appearing only when he was using his magic.

An example of this would be for his basic, you could word it as:
Icarus calls out his attack and an ethereal bangle forms in his hand. Throwing this at one target, it forms around the targets wrist and gives a boost of agility. (This is just one idea)

The ethereal bangles would then disappear at the end of the attacks.

Also for all three of them, you do need to list the amount of time he can use each attack and for how long they will affect the targets. Also the range in which he can throw them. A base attack may not be able to go as far as a super or eternal but it can traditionally be used more than the stronger attacks.

For his Super, this should just be a stronger form of the base attack. So it should still boost the agility but it could either last longer or give a bigger boost.

For his Eternal, sending a blast of energy is fine but could you please expand on how much damage it could do? However, setting a target on fire would not be something it cold do. It could make the target feel as if they are on fire but there could be no real flames could occur.

I apologize for the wordiness but I hope this helps! I love how you used the story of Icarus as the based of your attacks.
Please let me know if you have any questions and quote me when you want me to take another look!

0/10

where are my puns

All ready to go! And thanks again!



Sorry I seem to have fallen from your graces

Hey, Carhop! Jackson looks great, and he has a well written profile! I only have a few things I want to go over for his powered side, but I'll try to make it quick so you can get to playing him!

For his basic and super attack, I think having a range of ten yards/fifteen yards might be too much. Most basic and super attack have a much smaller radius and I think to stay fair it might be best to drop the range to be closer to ~4 yards for basic, and maybe ~6 yards for super. Realistically, this shouldn't affect your ability to play it at all since it is just about tossing the hoop onto a target—and I wanted to ask, can he use this ability on himself? While this is a great ability to have in group RPs, a lot of battles usually happen one on one and I don't want you to lose out on the ability to have a boost in battle—so, if you wanted, you could say that the hoop works on him or an ally!

For his super attack, most battles usually only last about five minutes, so having an attack that lasts for a minute at this stage is a little too long (usually eternal magic only lasts for 45-60 seconds), so I think it might be best to drop this one down to 45 seconds. He can still get two uses out of it, but it would be more in line with a super's power level if it had a bit of a reduced range of throw and dropped the casting time a bit!

For his eternal attack, the range is very large (a 60 fooot radius is a lot larger than what we usually allow), but because you can manipulate where he is on the battle field when he thorws, I think it might work best if you dropped it down to about 7 yards. The other major thing I see is that, in attacks it is most important that the magic reflects the sphere—in this case, flight! I can see you tying into the story of Icarus for this, and that's fine and I think we can make this a really quick fix! In addition to the intense burning sensation, maybe the target could also experience lightheadedness (as if they were flying too high and the air was thinning out)—just something to tie into the sphere of flight as well as the myth of Icarus! (If you have something else in mind, please feel free to play with it or suggest something else!)

I'm sorry for the wall of text! I haven't yet learned how to be succinct, but I was trying to give as much information as possible! Jackson looks like he'll be a lot of fun (and I seriously love his art!) so if you make any changes or have any questions, please give me a quote and I'll be back to you as soon as possible!

Awesome, everything looks fabulous to me! Have fun playing!