((Backdated to the Festival.))
Sahak was astonishingly nervous about this. He knew he had nothing to fear, of course, but this wasn't the intellectual part of him that was reacting. This was the cub in him, anxious to please his mother, worried about disappointing her, concerned for her approval. It was silly, really, but there nevertheless. He had found it easier to face the ceremony to be placed in his clan than to track down and reunite with his mother. His father he wasn't so concerned about. Feid was a robust and cheerful male, and his son wasn't worried about his reception. His mother, however, was aging, and that was part of what had driven Sahak to leave the possible home in the Pridelands and come here instead. He couldn't bear the thought of his mother dying without him there to support her ever again.
He nervously smoothed his mane for the hundredth time and continued pacing through the merry-making festival. He was aiming for where the Mantis clan had stationed themselves, for this was where he heard his mother was. She wasn't hard to pick out of the cluster of lionesses, either, not to his family-starved heart. She had her back to him, but that didn't matter. He knew her by sight, he knew her by scent, he knew her by the sound of her soft laugh. He took a moment to marvel at how relaxed and social she seemed here. Even back in the pride he'd been born in, she had tended to be timid and hesitant. Much had changed, it seemed, and he had missed it.
"Hello mother," he said quietly, having paced up behind her. The lionesses with her stopped chattering and drew back respectfully, though they got quite a few speculative looks. His mother, however, froze in place for a moment, then slowly turned her head to gaze at him. To his chagrin, tears glittered in her eyes.
As for Shani, she was rather blind-sided. One moment she's talking in quiet companionship with her fellow Mantis ladies, and the next she hears a familiar and much-loved voice from behind her. How her heart had leapt in her at that voice! It was a voice she had been afraid she'd never hear again. It had helped that one of their daughters had come here with them, but now, to turn and see Sahak there... she couldn't help the tears that filled her eyes. "Oh Sahak... my son!" She rose and immediately tried to enfold him in her embrace. He was so much bigger now though!
He joined her in a laugh as she tried to hug him but couldn't quite reach around all the way. It struck him how much smaller and frailer she seemed, twinging a new note of concern within him. He showed none of it, though. Instead, he gently extracted himself and wrapped her in his embrace, pulling her to his strong chest gently. She purred as she snuggled up to her big son, a few tears escaping though her expression was overjoyed. "I'm so glad to see you. You have come to stay?" she exclaimed, looking up at him anxiously.
He nodded down at her with a soft smile. "Yes mother, I'm here to stay. I'm in the Wolf clan. There's at least one other male there who wasn't born into the pride, so I feel right at home." He swallowed a sudden lump. "But mostly it is seeing you that makes this feel like home." He gave her a watery smile, his own eyes swimming with tears now. She made a sympathetic noise and reached to wipe the tears from his eyes.
"None of that now," she mock-scolded him with a soft chuckle. "We have no reason for tears now. We are together again, and that's all that matters. We are a family again." She paused with a wry twist of her lips. "Well, mostly we are. Even if we don't share a clan, at least we are together in a wider sense." A sense of sorrow flickered through her as she realized that soon their clans would part, and she wasn't likely to see him again for a time. She did her best to ignore the low, insistent whisperings in her mind that warned her that her time was limited. Even should this be her last time to sit and visit him, she would be happy for it. "Now come, tell me what you have been up to. What happened after we left?" She settled back and gazed up at him attentively, soaking in the lines of his face, the expressions that flickered across his face, the way his mane fell. Oh how she loved her babies!
Her tender gesture had nearly undone him even more, but he managed to laugh again with her rather than let his emotions overwhelm him. He finished getting ahold of himself as she mused about their difference in clans, then flattened his ears in embarrassment as she asked him to tell her about his experiences. "Well... I actually sat there for a long, long time, waiting for everyone to come back," he answered her truthfully, though clearly uncomfortable with it. "I was foolish and young and stubborn. Forgive me mother. I should have come with you when you left. I was wrong." He leaned to bump his forehead against hers contritely. He was rewarded by a loving purr and nuzzle, then she gestured for him to continue. Clearly that was not all of his story!
"When I got hungry enough, I finally wandered off. I was so lost, both in direction and in my heart." He gave her a sad, apologetic look, but was met with only acceptance and love. Encouraged, he moved on, knowing she'd want to know the next part of his tale. "I wasn't used to hunting for myself at all, and was no good at it at all. But I eventually met a girl." He paused again, flicking his ears in amusement as Shani sat up a little straighter, ears swiveled forward.
"For a short time life was perfect. She was a member of the Pridelands, and... we started a family." He watched as his mother caught her breath. He smiled down at her. "You are a grandmother," he told her merrily, but his expression sobered. "But... something was missing." He swallowed, since he himself wasn't entirely certain about the choice he had made. It had felt wrong to stay, and it had felt wrong to leave. "I still felt the need to be close to my family." He gave her another brief forehead bump. "I couldn't take the cubs from their mother, and she had no interest in leaving her home. I guess... our love wasn't enough." Now his expression reflected his inward pain at that. He'd grown up with the undying and deeply devoted love between his parents, and to know that someone he loved wasn't enough for him, and that he wasn't enough for her... it really hurt.
Next thing he knew, his mother was once more embracing him, this time her paws cradling his large face. "My boy... my dear son." Her face held sadness and understanding, moreso than he had expected. "Love is fickle that way sometimes. It comes, and then it leaves. Or it comes only a little, and isn't strong enough to hold you." She shook her head and sighed. "Your father and I are one of the lucky ones, but we also fought for it. I will not scold you for not fighting for your love, but next time... next time, make sure it is worth fighting for." It broke her heart to know there were grandcubs out there somewhere that she would never meet, but she would never show this pain to her already hurting son. "For now, let the past go. You are here now. Make this new life the one that lasts." He nodded, and as she dropped her paws from his dear face, he enclosed her in a hug once more.
"I love you mother," he murmured into her fur, like he had when he was little. Her heart bursting with love, pride, and sadness, Shani hugged him fiercely back. "And I love you too, my son." Family was forever.
