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 Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 8:16 pm
It was his one, solitary day off. Robert usually spent his Sundays studying, or working on the house. Since the latter was all but complete, and he was feeling rather prepared on the former, this Sunday was spent sitting on his front step, enjoying the peace and quiet of a normal, calm, untroubled day for once.
Except it wasn't one of those days at all, was it? Grief's hold on Deus had crept all the way through the island, and eventually crept into the heart of the man sitting in front of his house, trying to enjoy a single day of his life. He flopped down on the step, stared up at the sky, and sighed.
Life was just so hard.
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 8:48 pm
Generally, Mimsy did her best to ensure that her schedule matched up with Robert's, in an effort to maximize the amount of time that they spent together. The majority of her specialization work was unsupervised and done on her own time, so it was easy to work around any shifts that were assigned to him. Today was an exception, however. She had been applying more focus on clearing the remaining rubble from the underground lab that she would share with her brother, in hopes of setting to work with her lab partner as soon as he woke up. They had a lot to catch up on. But the efforts were short-lived; she had been cleaning for no more than an hour when her stomach began to tie itself in knots, and a nausea overwhelmed her so strongly that she could hardly remain upright. This was familiar, and she really wished it wasn't. A new determination rose within her, and she abandoned the lab to drag herself back home - if she was even welcome there. She could see Robert sitting on the front step as she made her way through the town, and she could only imagine scenario after scenario where he told her that she just couldn't live here anymore. "Hi," she greeted him, the only thing that she could manage. She swallowed past the lump in her throat, and blinked as her eyes began to water. "Do you mind if I sit with you? I do not want to impede upon your time. It is all right if you would rather not be in my presence. I understand. I know what I have done."
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:18 pm
The only thing that could have roused Robert from the terrible well of sadness that had overcome him, was the sound of Mimsy's voice. Just the first 'Hi' lifted his heart, and his body followed, rising up like a zombie and reaching out for her with slow but desperate grabby hands. She was talking nonsense, and he was whimpering with melancholy, desperate to cling to as much of her as possible and cry and cry and cry. But she was still standing there, and she wasn't getting into his arms fast enough. In fact, she sounded as though she didn't want to get in his arms at all. He lunged forward, his entire body weight careening into her until they were flat on the grass, and his body curled up around her in fetal position. "Nooooo." He whimpered. "Please don't leave me. Please don't leave me. Please, Mimsy." His grief was all consuming, and that meant that it made him temporarily blind to her own.
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm
As Robert stood, Mimsy expected him to push her away, to begin listing every way she'd failed and betrayed him, to repel her from their home by destroying what it meant to them. She cringed as he reached towards her, hands held up with her palms towards him to protect herself. But when the impact of his contact came, it was not motivated by anger or disappointment - it seemed affectionate, and almost stiflingly so as they fell to the ground and he wrapped himself around her. "I don't want to leave," she mumbled, words muffled against him in the vicinity of his shoulder. "I like our home. It's perfect. It is truly without fault, but that is why I don't deserve it. And I am undeserving of you. I haven't changed. I am a liar and a murderer and I would do anything to go back to Wonderland. You should have someone who can really love you in a functional capacity, who is not emotionally deficient, who does not even consider acting upon any of that. I don't want to leave, and I don't want it to be true, but...but I don't want to hurt you, or inflict any of my wrongdoings upon you. I don't want to ever again. I am sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for who I am." For all of the claims that she didn't belong here with him, she was clinging more tightly by the minute, fists full of the fabric of his coat with a ferocity that clearly said 'I don't want to go'.
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:56 pm
"GOOD." Every time she said a sentence, he would interject with his answer, very loudly, and very emotionally. "I LIKE OUR HOME TOO." He informed her. "IT IS PERFECT. YOU'RE PERFECT. I DON'T DESERVE YOU. MAYBE YOU'RE A LIAR BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU'RE LYING RIGHT NOW." He smushed his face against her chest, and sobbed. "You love me. You love me so good you don't even know, you're not emotionally deficient you're emotionally explosive, you're perfect and you love me and don't know why because I'm literally scum next to you but you do, you do and I'm never ever letting you go unless you say you wanna go then I can't stop you BUT I WILL STOP YOU MIMSY PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME-" The sheer magnitude of their stubborn, overwhelming - yet opposite - grieving was like waves crashing on rocky shores. It was so difficult for him to even comprehend that she was anything but perfect, and therefore inexcusably too good for him, in that one painful moment.
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 10:38 pm
The responses that Robert very readily provided were much louder than her own words, which grew steadily softer as she went on. It was not for lack of conviction in what she was saying, because she did truly believe it - she just couldn't manage to feel strong right now, because strength brought confidence and destruction that she wanted no part in. "Okay," Mimsy choked out, startled by how abruptly he pressed his face against her. "All right. All right. If it helps somehow...I mean, I will be honest in saying that I truly do not understand how, but...all right. I don't want to go. I will stay here." His coat was released in favor of sliding her arms around him, her fingertips passing lightly over the skin of his neck as if she were observing it for the first time. In truth, she was savoring it, recording it to safely file away in her mind, in case this was the last. "Why do you believe that you're scum?" She sniffled and tried to nudge his chin up, hoping that he could bear looking at her. She wouldn't, if she were him, but it was worth trying (because she was selfish and wrong and disgustingly horrid). "I'm sorry if I make you feel that way. I do not think that you are scum. Not at all."
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 11:17 pm
Mimsy agreed to stay with him, despite all of the terribleness and awfulness that he was. This only made him cry harder, but at least this time it was out of relief. He kissed her face in every spot he could manage, and then buried his face in her hair. "Compared to you, I'm scum. I'm nothing. I'M AN AMOEBA. AN AMOEBA." He only half knew what the word meant, but the fact that he'd tried to use it at all was something special. "You're so smart, and beautiful, and gorgeous, and amazing, and you can do anything you set your mind to, and you're going to be the president of Deus one day because nobody can match you NOBODY. And you love me. ME. You married ME. I got to marry you and be with you every day and call you my baby and - and you just - you make me so happy, I don't know how to even, Mimsy!" He groveled against her, blubbering uselessly. He was inconsolable, and a little unwieldy - he kept slamming her body into himself, and hugging her tight. "You, you make me so happy. You make me so much better than I could have ever been without you. You're the part of me I've been missing my entire life, and you just, you just let me marry you and keep you and I love you I can't stop saying it please forgive me-
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Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 12:22 am
The barrage of kisses brought a smile to Mimsy's face, but the guilt and shame and regret washed it away as soon as he stopped. He hand moved to bury her fingers in his hair, and she sighed as she leaned her head against his. "No. I am very sorry to say so, but you are wrong. You are greater than I am in so many ways. Believing otherwise is ridiculous." An indignant snort accompanied her claim, immediately followed by a whine of regret as she bowed her head, reduced to mumbling again. "And I don't want to be the president of Deus. I am happy where I am. I have no interest in this island as a whole. I do not care about them. I should, and it is wrong of me to think like this as a Hunter, but...I care about you, and I want to be honest with you, and..." And that was hard, especially when it seemed like honesty was counterproductive. When honesty was harsh or unpleasant, was it better to not say anything at all? She drew in a deep breath and considered her options. "I won't forgive you for loving me, nor will I forgive you for saying that you love me. I will not forgive you for anything that involves directing your love towards me. I won't. It is not wrong. I don't want you to stop. You could marry me a thousand times over, and I could exhaust the space for rings on my fingers, and I would not tire of you. I need you. Don't be silly." Being shuffled and shaken was a bit disorienting, but she didn't ask him to stop. She just leaned in closer, offering more proof that she wanted to be where she belonged. " I should be the one seeking your forgiveness. My wrongdoings are inexcusable." Her fingers pulled away from him as she struggled with the feeling that she was unworthy of the privilege of touching him. "You are accepting and graciously forgiving of so much, but if I am a part of you..." ...dense, crushing darkness..."I am afraid that what I am will spread to you," she admitted, fidgeting uncomfortably against him. "I do not want to lose you, but I would, if...well, if something like that happened."
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Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 12:53 am
If he hadn't been so torn down by the grief that continued to burden them, he might have just accepted her words and agreed that they were both greater, in just the right ways to compliment one another. But he couldn't, because all he could think about was how ridiculously lucky he was. He was already bawling as she told him she wasn't going to forgive him. It only stopped when he very belatedly realized her point, but telling him that she needed him helped immensely. His crying slowed down then, because it just felt so good to hear that at that moment. He wanted her to need him so badly. He wanted her to need him as badly as he needed her. That was just.. impossible. "What you are, everything that you are, has already spread to me." He muffled out between ragged breaths as he tried to calm down. "Every single thing about you, is part of me now. And you're not losing me because of it. All you've done is make me stronger. Smarter. Harder. Better. You were the part of me that was missing, and I'm never ever ever gonna let you go now that I got you." Both physically, and emotionally, he was unwilling to let her go. "You think you're some kind of bad thing, but you're not. You're just you, and to me, to me, that's perfect." He leaned in and kissed her temple, leaving his lips there as he leaned against her.
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Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 1:16 am
It had already spread to him. Maybe it wasn't too late. Maybe there was still hope left, now that she knew that transmission could not be prevented. The positive side effects were things that Mimsy was proud of him for, and it was difficult to allow that to be attributed to anything but him. She didn't want to. If she knew what to warn him away from, and what signs to watch for, there was still a possibility for him to remain himself, wasn't there? "Okay. Okay. O... oh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She burst into tears, incapable of suppressing the surge of an unexpected emotion that she didn't understand. "Please stay strong. Please fight it. You will want to do terrible things, and you will want Destruction, but Destruction is bad. I thought it was good, and that it helped me, but I was wrong. Don't be wrong too. Please." The crying seemed to be tapering off, and she seemed uncharacteristically docile, as if something were soothing her--then it returned without warning, worse than it had been to start with. "He didn't have to die. What if it's ALICE next time? Don't feed it. Don't help it," she begged, almost indecipherable through her frantic sobs.
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Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 8:24 pm
Mimsy crying was the only surefire antidote for Robert's tears, and they dried up instantly as his mind focused on soothing her above everything else. "Don't you be sorry now baby, don't you worry a bit. Listen to me, you know I'm strong. You don't make me wanna do terrible things. You make me wanna do amazing things. I know you like to tear things down, but that's why I'm here." He picked her up off of the floor, and settled her in his lap, holding her entire body in his arms. "I'm gonna build up from the rubble. If you pull it apart, I'm gonna put it back together our way. You don't got nothing to worry about baby, because you don't do nothing bad. All you do is give me a reason to live." His kiss was hard, and painful. He came down upon her desperately, an echo of a kiss he'd given her so very long ago. He was standing, with her in his arms, but he never let the kiss break for a moment. If she was scared of what destruction would do to him, he would have to remind her, thoroughly, of what creation would do to her. He carried her into their house, and into their bedroom, and not once, did he let her lips free to take another breath, or let out another sob, until he was through. She still had lessons to learn.
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