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 Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2014 2:27 am
stormy
i am become
She woke up and was four and remembered what it was like to drown, to frantically such in air and find nothing but chlorine water filling her lungs, unable to cry out, like her body was locked in a nightmarish sleep paralysis while still awake, the noises wheezing and toneless, and in the car her sister told her don't go to sleep stay awake don't close your eyes just
woke up again and she was thirteen and sweating and her old room was dark save for slits of light through the blinds, and Papi was there with soothing strokes through her hair, his face obscured in shadows, and she thought where was Mami why wasn't she doing this what and Papi kisses her good morning and huffs off the bed and her vocal chords twist themselves in half-remembered panic so that her voice comes too loud, and she asked where is she what's for breakfast good morning where is she and Papi didn't answer because he was blurring with the wall and window and said nevermind mijita the snow is too thick go back to
sleep was too hard to maintain in the darkness for some reason and the bugs were crawling again and she wanted to scream but she couldn't because there were hands at her throat pressing, gentle at first, caressing even, wishing, envying, but the pressure grows and she hears her voice whisper like smoke like noxious fumes, why, and she doesn't bother to struggle because some part of her still thinks she deserves the punishment because she couldn't answer because she had failed and deserved to and yet the more the pressure grows and the stiller she became, the less worry she felt, the bugs were already inside and the darkness was something she knew how to breathe, and the great maw swallowed her and her neck was squeezed tighter and tighter, but an anger began to swell in her as the colors faded because she understood why now, and she tried to open her mouth and spit it out just one last time as the pressure mounted more and more--
Her throat broke open with the sound of shattered glass as she jerked awake and the smell of death chased her regardless and she was waking waiting waiting for someone to kill her again to wake up to the reality of some existence that never ended to wake up don't wake up alone don't sleep don't die please--
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Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 1:01 am
stormy
best served
She was almost heady with cold, dark anger once she realized her windows had been broken, as were several photo frames on her nightstand and assorted perfume bottles. Not a day in her new room and she was already breaking things. Guess Caelius was right: it was her talent.
It was like a home invasion all over again, only this time there was no name and face to paste to the forefront of her mind, no one single person she could chase down and kill with kindness. It might as well have been Nevada's ghost at this point, waltzing in as of it was still her room to share, jealous of her sister's empty success, breaking her things just to say welcome home, still haunting her out of spite, still blaming her. She had no right, Stormy thought with clenched fists as she surveyed the damage. She had no right because there was no way to exact revenge against a ghost. You could forget them in time, but she didn't want to: obscurity was the greatest thing to give to something that hurt, and giving up Nevada's memory in any capacity meant giving up, and she wasn't a quitter. An escapist, yes, but not a quitter.
Maybe that was the problem. Some things needed to be let go.
Her things were hers and hers alone. Her emotions, her thoughts, her room with her stuff in her space. She dealt with things her way, and yet people kept seeming to believe she needed help anyway--like she was still a child. Like liking Disney meant she was unrealistic and believed the world boiled down to cartoony graphics and neat, bow tied endings. But she was very, very aware of what went on outside of her head, and she always had been.
Her family was shrinking. Candace was always on a mission, Tuck was always posted at a different base, Nevada had left her, prior to all of this Jack had tainted the very idea of trust--and now Lex had broken hers. She seethed at the memory of being drugged against her will, the sheer panic of losing control of her body medically numbed until she had passed out, the manner of which had reminded her so much of when that student had possessed her that the comparison made her violently shiver, of how he hadn't even shown remorse. Aria had once given her a look when she had proclaimed that she felt safe at Deus, and now she knew why.
Safe. What a joke. She had really deluded herself.
Twitter had only exacerbated the dark feeling gnawing at her, Stormy's upbeat comments replaced by vague threats and snitty replies to the Lifer. The longer she stared at his name on her phone screen, the more she wanted to find him and give him a piece of her mind. And then a better plan occurred to her: one that would get her payback and make sure she didn't lose any more of her family.
Inle-roo Text to EvanSomeone drugged me against my will. Lex Jamil, tallish, brown hair, gray eyes, Life. Get him alone.
Gale had almost been her go-to, just for the sickly sweet hope of an overprotective boyfriend going nuts to keep her safe. But even in her revenge-filled mind, Stormy chose prudence over indulgence. After all, it wouldn't do to let her boyfriend worry. She was fine, after all. Perfectly fine and simply cleaning up. By the time he came back from his mission, she'd be just dandy. Not at all thinking about whether or not he just forgot little dates like her birthday or their anniversary in the midst of gathering intel for Caelius. Not at all thinking about whether he liked making promises just because it sounded pretty and she liked pretty things. (As if she didn't make promises she didn't keep herself.)
Stormy lounged on her bed like a cat, taking far too much pleasure in how submissive Lex's messages were in response. And today, nobody would take that from her or break it. Today, it was hers.
Quote: Text to EvanHurt him for me and we'll be square again, big brother.
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