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Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 7:09 pm
Shiloh was dressed casually, his jacket left slung over a chair in favor of working clothes, a familiar t-shirt, stained blue, and a pair of faded jeans. The shirt had hung in his closet the past month, and whenever he thumbed over it, he’d felt sad. Though it was clean, it was stained beyond repair, and most likely better meant as garbage, but it held such memories, memories that he’d thought would be the only thing he’d have left of Ian. But today, when he’d flung open his closet in search of suitable cleaning clothes, it had hung there, staring him in the face and the pang of sadness was gone. He was glad he’d kept it. It had been a couple days since Ian had left the infirmary, and they’d spent most of it together, Shiloh wheeling Ian around and Ian grudgingly obeying, despite his protests that his legs were fine. He was stubborn, but so was Shiloh, and that was the whole reason he was headed over to Ian’s room today. Shiloh was sure it would be in the same state of disrepair as he’d left it, neither he or Ian willing to let the other one help, Shiloh not wanting Ian to strain himself, Ian not wanting to not be able to help. Shiloh had only agreed on the promise that they wait until Ian was properly healed. But he’d left Ian alone to catch a shower and a change of clothes, and he quickened his steps down the hallway a little, ready to pounce on Ian should he have already started. His bandana was tied around his head, keeping his bangs out of his face, and he reached back to tighten it one last time before opening Ian’s door, not bothering to knock. “I’m back,” he announced, standing in the doorway with his arms folded over his chest and a smile on his face. “You dressed yet, chicken?”
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Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 8:40 pm
Not only was Ian dressed (in a pair of black jeans and a black shirt with the word Monday scrawled across it in a dripping white font), but he was moving around, a stack of books in one arm and a few shirts draped over his other.
"I'm dressed, you're late," said Ian, twisting around to flash a bright smile in Shiloh's direction. "But you look hot, so I'll forgive you."
He leaned over and pressed a quick, firm kiss against Shiloh's lips, grinning in delight. He was finally out of that damned wheelchair (Ian had all but kicked it back to the infirmary), and he was free to move about and do whatever he wanted, go wherever he wanted and not have to worry about someone having to pus him. His body still ached here and there, and his fingers and neck throbbed if he didn't care for them properly, but for the most part he felt pretty good; much better than he'd felt in days, weeks, months, even. And he was free now to do whatever he wanted.
(Within reason, but that was beside the point.)
The bandages were still wrapped around his neck, partly out of a medical reason (Ian kept scratching his stitches), but also partly because of a vanity reason, the thin scar stretching from one side of his throat to the other fully and carefully hidden beneath the white wrappings.
Ian held out his arms.
"Books or clothing, which do you want to help me with first?"
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Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 7:46 pm
"Yeah, well, looking hot takes time," he answered with a smile just as wide, pulled in for a kiss and taking the opportunity to slip the books from Ian's arm, reasoning, of course, that the shirts were lighter and therefore less strenuous for Ian to carry. He was out of the chair, it was true, but there were still bandages and injuries beneath them that remained, and Shiloh was determined not to let Ian push himself too fast. "Books, and you were supposed to wait," Shiloh tutted, shifting the stack in his arms. "Where do you want these? Shelf?" Ian had gotten ready quicker than he had, and still managed to look every bit as handsome, Shiloh noted, his clothes fit him in all the right places, and his hair, shorter now, framed his face in a way that Shiloh wanted to say was adorable, but just smiled at him happily instead. It was true he was the one giving Ian the second chance, but he couldn't help but feel he was incredibly lucky, in a multitude of ways and not all of them superficial, to have Ian. He was still getting used to the whole idea of things being back to normal, but being with Ian made it easier with each day that passed. He wanted to kiss him again, he thought, but they had work to do, and they'd already left it for a few days, Shiloh was worried if they didn't finish it now, it'd be another few days before either of them thought about cleaning again. "I'll get the desk after, if you want to head clothes duty," he added, a pre-emptive strike against any protests Ian might have.
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Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 11:42 pm
Ian stuck out his tongue (childishly), but truth be told, his stomach had given a little flutter upon seeing Shiloh again. It was silly, really, considering they spent nearly every moment together as it was; but there was still that sense of surrealism, as though he were living in some sort of time loop that let him pretend to be with Shiloh. He half expected to be dragged back to reality at any moment and learn that it had all been a misunderstanding, a dream (a nightmare), a mistake.
But this wasn't any of those things - this was real, and Shiloh was real, and he was here.
And he was wearing that shirt.
"You took too long," said Ian airily, which was essentially a lie, because Shiloh had barely been gone twenty minutes; Ian was just impatient to move, to do something other than sit down and lie down, even if that meant cleaning.
He'd never been so glad to clean in his life.
"Shelf is fine," he answered, gesturing vaguely in the general direction. "And I think the desk is mostly fixable, it just needs to, um, be readjusted a little to compensate for the fact that I broke one of the legs. I'll pick up the clothes and stick them in the closet."
Ian stepped past Shiloh, intending to do just that. He may or may not have also swatted him on the butt as he did so, whistling innocently.
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Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 8:42 pm
“Did not,” Shiloh argued good-naturedly, returning the stuck-out tongue. He may have spent a bit more time than necessary choosing a shirt that was just a shirt. But though Shiloh played his wardrobe as casual, as just an old shirt to clean in, the fabric felt extra soft against his skin, as comfortable as the memories surrounding it. Wearing it again was like acknowledging that this was really happening, that they were really trying again. It wasn’t that he was stuck in the past, not really, but he needed any extra courage he could get, and if wearing the old shirt helped, he’d wear it until it was tatters. Given the shape of it, however, such a fate wasn’t incredibly far off. “No, no, those clothes stay on,” he laughed, scooting away from Ian’s wandering hand. He wrinkled his nose at him, and then he laughed again, the sound light and airy as he wandered to the other side of the room. He placed each book one by one on to the shelf, no exactly sure how to arrange them. His own room was mostly devoid of books, but he supposed Ian would sort them out later. Picking out a book, not glancing at the title, he turned around, still crouched in front of the shelf. He held it up to his face, trying to figure something out as he studied both it and the desk. “Think this would even it out?”
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Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 11:50 pm
Sometimes he kept glancing over at Shiloh, half to reassure himself that he was actually there, and half because Ian couldn't quite get enough of just looking at him, seeing Shiloh so near again. He supposed it was silly (he was acting like a love struck fool), but it was the shirt this time that kept drawing Ian's eyes towards Shiloh again.
He remembered that shirt.
"Why can't I start with your clothes?" Ian asked innocently, even as Shiloh was twisting away from him. "Come on, we can just wash your shirt. Or your pants. Or both of them. How about we just do laundry all day and you don't have to wear anything at all?"
It was this sort of casual, teasing flirting that he enjoyed the most, because it was something so simple; Ian didn't have to think about it, he just did it, because it was a part of his nature and a part of who he was. There was nothing stressful or confusing about flirting, especially not when it came to Shiloh.
Ian came to stand behind Shiloh, his arms still full of wrinkled clothes.
"Stick it on the left side," he suggested. "I think it would fit better."
He pecked a kiss to Shiloh's temple and moved back to the closet, not really hanging up things but instead haphazardly tossing them over hangers and shoving them into the closet so that they vaguely resembled being organized.
"Too much work," Ian complained good naturedly. "How about we go back to your room?"
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Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2014 8:07 pm
Ian’s teasing made him giddy, he couldn’t help it, even as he rolled his eyes at his goofball of a boyfriend (a word which, in and of itself, was wonderful to think of him as again) he was half-skipping to the shelf, caught up in the moment. “Why do we have to wash my clothes?” he asked as he sorted the books onto the shelf. “You already have yours half ready to go, might as well load the rest in as well, right? Maybe I’d like some eye candy for a change, hm, did you consider that?” But Ian’s kiss was well received with a smile, and he set the last book on the shelf, taking the one he’d pulled out and shoving himself to his feet, dusting off his knees. He took the couple steps to the desk, resting the book on one of its overturned sides. He glanced across the room, a question on the tip of his tongue but he was just in time to catch Ian half-assedly tossing his clothes into the closet in some semblance of ‘trying’ and he couldn’t help but grin, leaving the book and desk behind and sauntering over to Ian, slipping his arms around his waist and leaning into him. “I mean, if they’re gonna end up on the floor anyway...” He stood there for a moment, just attached to Ian, not letting him move or turn around. Ian’s shirt was soft against his face as he nuzzled it against the back of Ian’s neck, before curiously resting his chin on his shoulder, looking up at him. “Why my room? It’s not a mess.” Well, it wasn’t as much of a mess, at least.
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Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2014 10:44 pm
"Because," said Ian, as though this clearly explained everything when it clearly explained nothing. He shoved another armful of haphazardly hung clothes into the closet and then moved them aside so that he could squeeze in a few more hangers. "You would make your poor, innocent, slowly recovering boyfriend be the one to do all the work? Why Shiloh, I'm shocked."
He wasn't even trying to conceal his laughter, Ian snorting as he pushed the last bit of clothing into the closet. It was just in time too, since a second later he felt warm and familiar arms encircle his waist, Ian's stomach doing a little flipflop of pleasure and giddy happiness. He attempted to twist around to face him, but Shiloh's grip was tight, and eventually Ian settled for resting his arms atop of Shiloh's, holding them where they were.
"You're terrible," he said, but his tone was gentle, Ian running his bruised fingers along Shiloh's wrist. Tingles went up and down his spine, and then Shiloh's face was peering at him, and Ian leaned back into his embrace, smiling as he tilted his head sideways to rest his cheek in Shiloh's hair.
"I like your room better," he said truthfully. "It's where you exist, and where I like to be with you. It's got Shiloh Parish written all over it. I feel safe there."
Ian closed his eyes, a low hum escaping his throat. He rocked slightly from side to side, cradled in Shiloh's arms and feeling warm and pleased and happy. "Maybe I should just move in with you," he said airily. "That would make things easier. I could sleep next to you every night and then wake up to you every day."
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Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2014 8:39 pm
He’d made a face in Ian’s direction, suggesting that he didn’t entirely believe in Ian’s innocence, not one bit. But it wasn’t as if he could exactly talk, his arms now slipped around Ian’s waist, and he threaded his fingers together in front of him pulling him backwards against him. “Of course I’m terrible,” he teased, “I learned from the best. Or should I say worst?” But he lapsed into quietness as Ian leaned into him, content to take in the moment, to share the warmth between them, to be close enough to hear the gentle sound of Ian’s breath. He listened, though Ian’s explanation had a light flush creeping into his cheeks, he’d never thought his room to be anything special, but when Ian put it like that… Shiloh glanced at him, still curious, but for a different reason now. And then the question came, as they gently swayed together, though it came out as a passing thought, as a suggestion, the question was there all the same. When they’d first met, Shiloh wouldn’t have known what to say. He could barely manage public handholding back then, let alone the idea of them sharing a room. Not that it had ended up stopping them from basically sharing one anyway, but officially, that was different. But now, now things were different too. Ian was still taller, but wrapped in his arms like this, Shiloh felt like the tallest guy in the world and all he wanted to do was to hold onto Ian forever, to protect him, to keep him safe. The hesitation, the doubt, before he cared what other people had thought but such things no longer mattered, at this very moment there was only one opinion he was looking for and it’s holder was currently held in his embrace. He loosened his grip, gently letting go of Ian in favor of turning him around and being able to look at him properly, to meet his eyes. “Do you want to?” he asked seriously. “Move in with me, I mean, do you want to?” As for Shiloh’s opinion, he didn’t know if it was a good idea. Was it too fast? Were they moving to quickly, all things considered? He didn’t have the answers to those questions, but what he did know was that listening to the what-ifs, to the doubt and the hesitation, that was a bad idea. The important thing was to exist in the moment right now, not to try and predict the future. And right now, if he were honest, he wanted his boyfriend to move in with him. kuroopu yeah there was no way they werent going to move in together lays down
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Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2014 9:05 pm
It was nice being the one being held for a change, not that Shiloh ever didn't hold him. But seeing as how Ian was naturally taller, when it came to moments like these, it was usually him behind Shiloh with his arms around him, because Shiloh fit nicely into the space he provided for him; a smaller person curled up against Ian's chest.
This was different; this time it was Ian that was leaning back against Shiloh's chest, and it didn't feel awkward at all. Rather, it felt warm and safe and secure; and maybe it was because of what he'd just gone through, because he felt more vulnerable and open than usual, but Ian found he enjoyed it quite a bit.
The comment about moving in had been a vague and flippant one, Ian offhandedly making the remark without really realizing what he was saying; but then he felt Shiloh's arms loosen and he twisted around to look at him, eyebrows raised curiously.
His stomach gave a little flipflop, his heart skittering against his chest. For a moment Ian just stood there, his hands resting lightly on Shiloh's arms, fingers curled slightly. Moving in with Shiloh was a big step, and considering they had only just started dating again, a monumental step, in spite of the fact that they spent nearly all their time together as it was.
Worries and fears and anxieties immediately coursed through Ian's mind - what if he doesn't like me after he lives with me, what if I do something stupid, what if I mess things up again, what if I snore, what if I don't hang up my clothes, what if -
what if what if what if -
He pushed them aside, forced them back, and stared at Shiloh, because after all this time - after everything that Ian had done - Shiloh still wanted him; and not only that, but he had given him a second chance when Ian hadn't deserved one.
Slowly his hands slid up his arms until they were on his shoulders, Ian sliding his arms around Shiloh's neck. He closed the space between them and pressed his lips against his, his grip tight, his arms wrapped tightly around Shiloh.
He was trembling slightly; Ian pulled back, pressing his forehead against Shiloh's, his eyes still closed.
"In case you were wondering," he said hoarsely, "that was a yes."
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Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 8:31 pm
For every reason for it, there were a million what-ifs that followed; Shiloh knew it as well as Ian. It was a massive step, for Shiloh, sure, but for Ian even more so, and Shiloh waited with baited breath for his answer, because though Ian had managed to find the courage to say those three words, words and actions were different beasts altogether, and it was far easier to say than do. He hadn’t meant his asking to be a sort of test, and if Ian wasn’t ready, he’d understand. He’d ask why this time, instead of just shrugging it off as being okay, but he’d understand and they’d work through it instead of pretending the question had never been asked. They’d deal with things right this time, even if they both felt like bolting. But instead of step back, there was only a pause. Though it felt like an eternity to Shiloh as they met each other’s eyes, the seconds aching past, it was only a pause, it wasn’t running. And then, Ian’s fingers were sliding up his arms, his arms around his neck, and finally his lips against his mouth. It wasn’t exactly the answer he’d been expecting, Shiloh’s eyes widening in surprise for a moment before he settled into the kiss, as much as one could settle into something so impassioned it took his breath away. He caught it, slowly, as Ian pulled just far enough away so that their foreheads met, and Shiloh peeked at him from half-lidded eyes, not exactly sure what it meant, not exactly sure what to say. Luckily for him, however, Ian had the sense to clarify. That was all it took, Shiloh at once snapping out of his stupor, wrapping his arms around Ian in a flurry of movement, practically picking him up in his excitement. And then he was picking him up, the best he could manage anyway, half twirling him around before hugging him close to him, smothering him with feather light kisses wherever he could reach. “Oh,” he said, a soft excited exhale, “Oh.” It only dawned on him now just how much had weighed on that answer, how much he had hoped for the answer to be yes. It wasn’t fair of him, some part of him said, to impose so much importance on another person, but he couldn’t help it. His face was already beaming as he finally drew back far enough to look at Ian, the grin on his face a mile wide. To know Ian was willing, to know he was ready, to know he was willing to just try, Shiloh couldn’t have been prouder. They were really going to do it; they were really going to move in together. “I’m so glad,” Shiloh said, nearly crawling onto Ian in his excitement. “When, when did you want to move? Is it too early now? I mean if you meant a week or whatever timeframe, that’s totally okay, I just figured since we’re cleaning right, I mean, I know you just hung up your clothes but, let’s be honest, half of them are falling off the hangers already, so we could just pick them up you know, and carry them down the hall and we wouldn’t even have to worry about the desk right? Do we need two desks? Do you want your own, I mean you can have mine, I don’t think I ever even use it, really, oh, and bed, I mean, mine has always worked but we could borrow this one right, push them together? Or maybe that…” He’d let go of Ian at this point, having turned around to inspect said bed, wondering if the frames would match up properly. “Maybe if we put a blanket over this, right, where they meet…”
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Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 9:11 pm
Clearly whatever Ian had said wasn't what Shiloh had expected, because he was staring at him with eyes that said he was still hesitant about what Ian actually meant. It was true that actions spoke eons louder than words, and that if he said he wasn't terrified about taking this step, that it would be a lie; but at the same time, he wanted to, more than anything. The trust that he had broken in Shiloh; the whole reason behind Shiloh's understandable doubts, was something that Ian desperately needed to make up for, to reassure him that he was not just saying the words, but meaning them.
Ian smiled, and then the smile turned into a shout of laughter as Shiloh's arms tightened around his waist, and he was lifted off of his feet, a heady feeling of giddiness sweeping through him. He wrapped his arms around Shiloh's neck and held on for dear life, returning each kiss with one of his own; to the top of Shiloh's head, his temple, his cheeks, his ears, his lips, his jaw, everywhere.
He felt his feet touch the ground again, and Shiloh's radiant smile sent shivers of happiness all through Ian. Shiloh was talking, and Ian kept nodding at what he was saying, words tumbling out in rapidfire spurts, and then Shiloh had turned away to look at the bed and Ian's arms fell away, down to his side. For a moment he just watched him move, his eyes following Shiloh as he fiddled with the bed, still rambling.
His heart felt so full it might have burst right then and there.
Ian stepped up behind Shiloh, a little smile on his face. He curled his fingers into Shiloh's hair, fingers sifting through the light colored strands until he'd pulled the ponytail free and was gently stroking through them, gentle as they brushed against Shiloh's neck. He swept the hair aside and slanted his head, pressing a kiss to the spot just below Shiloh's left ear, and then Ian slowly slid his arms around Shiloh's waist, wrapping them tightly around him, another kiss dropped on his temple.
"We'll figure it out," he said gently. "We can start right now moving my stuff. And I want to be able to sleep holding you like this, so one bed is fine, unless you take up too much space."
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Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 8:41 pm
The second Ian’s fingers slid through Shiloh’s hair his babbling stopped, replaced instead by a happy sigh accompanied with a smile, tension not realizing he’d be holding onto slipping from his shoulders as Ian tugged his ponytail loose, running his fingers gently through the strands of his hair. The feeling made his heart flutter, it was so simple, so domestic, it was soothing, he absolutely loved it – he’d missed it. He’d missed the little things so much, little moments like these that he’d taken for granted. He’d missed everything, of course, but it was the little things, things he hadn’t expected but had always surprised him, like Ian playing with his hair, or finding his hand when he wasn’t paying attention. The fire, the passion, all that stuff was great, but when it came down to it, Shiloh was undeniably a hopeless romantic, even if he failed to realize it himself. And to him, Ian was Prince Charming, pressing a kiss against his neck and sweeping him off his feet. Not literally, of course, but he might as well have as Shiloh leaned back into his embrace, his excitement stalled just long enough to enjoy the moment. We’ll figure it out.Together, they’d figure it out, together. It was almost enough to drive Shiloh back into a frenzy and he squirmed against Ian like an eager puppy, torn between whether to get started right now or to lick Ian’s face. He settled for the latter, wiggling until he was facing Ian and leaning up for a kiss. “If you fall off in the middle of the night, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he said, grinning against his lips.
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Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 10:23 pm
It really was like taming a puppy. Ian enjoyed the fact that all it took were the simple and sweet things to satisfy Shiloh; the gentle touches that made him look the happiest, or the little words, butterfly kisses pressed to his cheek and his nose with unabashed affection. Ian had always been a very physical person, but before he'd been mainly focused on the here and now, the fast and the furious, the immediate satisfaction that stemmed from physical contact. And while obviously he still did enjoy that, he enjoyed the quiet, romantic time with Shiloh much more.
Ian smiled as Shiloh twisted around, leaning to return the eager kiss with one of his own.
"If I go down, I'm taking you with me," he threatened, and slid his arms lower, beneath his behind so that he could sweep Shiloh up into his arms, pulling Shiloh's legs around his waist. Ian grinned, twirling around (this was terribly improper behavior for someone who'd only just barely gotten away from a wheelchair, but he ignored this fact), and then fell forward onto the bed, collapsing onto Shiloh and hopefully not crushing him in the process. He slid his fingers through Shiloh's hair again.
"I love you," he said. "I love you."
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:08 pm
“No way, not fair,” Shiloh protested but it was amidst peals of laughter as Ian picked him up and spun him around, forgetting to even chide him for not being careful. He was utterly swept up, both literally and figuratively by Ian. They tumbled onto the bed, Ian on top of him, and Shiloh happily sank into the mattress, slipping his arms over Ian’s shoulders. It felt like his face hurt from smiling so much, but there was nothing he could do, as Ian repeated those three words, his smile only widened, and he pulled him down properly, threading his own fingers through Ian’s short hair to pull him in for yet another kiss, less lively than before but longer lasting; he took his time savoring every bit of it. “I love you too,” he answered softly, still smiling as he leaned back to look at Ian. He was almost convinced Ian meant it, he wanted so much to grab that hope and cling to it closely, to believe in it whole-heartedly. It seemed so easy when they were lying close like this, nothing to pull them away, nothing to interrupt. But the outside world did exist, and would continue to exist, and they’d have to find a way to survive in it, together. He hoped they could do it. “You know, this is a closer inspection of the bed than I had in mind, but I can definitely see now, you’re right, we only need one.” His grin was definitely cheeky.
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