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Cami has been doing what she did best which was dozing rather contentedly in the middle of her bed, lamp-light shining as it always did across her face. She probably could have been doing something useful like writing down her activities for the day so that progress could be accurately tracked. Socializing through text or Twitter (even though she was avoiding the latter as much as possible). Yet it felt so nice to drift away that it took her a second to wake up enough to realize Otto had come back.

Damp hair was cooling her shirt, dampness growing against her skin as she automatically reached out to tousle and stroke through blond strands. Her other hand reached back to grab another pillow, stuffing it behind her head so she could sit up and see him better. "What happened?" It was automatic. Something almost always happened to have him immediately coming in to flop down on top of her. Certainly that was how it worked for Cami.

Otto would have looked at Cami long enough to see her eyebrows knit in confusion at the question, knitting even further at the admission that Twitter was perhaps getting to him. That was not allowed. Not that Otto wasn't allowed to feel because he was, but that maelstrom of vile hatred could not be allowed to hurt him like it had hurt her. Automatically her brain connected the dots to know that they were talking about sex because, really, what the hell else did anyone talk about? It unraveled her eyebrows slightly though concern was still written clearly.

Fingers didn't still for a minute as she comfortingly stroked his hair, listening as calmly as possible to what he was telling her. It was sweet in the conventional way that Otto considered sex to be something that you only shared with someone you loved, because you wanted to be closer to them. Part of her confusion when she'd first learned of his involvement with the blond was that her opinion of sex and his were radically different. Apparently, she'd been right to be concerned about that. What was awful was that she hadn't wanted to be.

"Oh. Otto. Otto, no." Sitting up slightly she tried to keep his head on her stomach but gave up, gathering him into a big hug where she squeezed him reassuringly for a moment. "You're not dirty. It's wonderful that up until now everyone you've been with has been someone special to your heart but not everyone will be." She'd almost said can. Wondered why and then dismissed it. Because it was Otto, because she trusted him, she shared some of herself in return.

"I've never been with someone special like that. I've been with a fair number of people but I didn't really love any of them. Most of them were friends and I was fond of them but it wasn't...well it wasn't anything but sex." Which said so many things about Cami and none of them especially happy, even if she had enjoyed every single one of those encounters, which she mostly had. Some had been regrettable only because the sex itself had been not nearly as good as it she'd been led to believe.

Blowing out a breath she turned off of her road and back onto his. "There's nothing wrong with enjoying sex. And, honestly?" She snorted just a bit with laughter. "Maebe's probably not unhappy if you are using her. But you're not. If you both want it, if you're both enjoying it, then you're not using her." A soft, secret little smile that touched some far-off memory lit her face from inside. Cami might not have ever been with someone who loved her in return but it seemed she had loved, once. "And sometimes that's all you need because it makes you both happy, makes you both feel good, and that's the best thing."

One thing was certain in life and it was that despite being enlisted into the Sun Division she was not much of a fighter. A runner, certainly. A comforter. But a fighter? It wasn't in her personality to stand at the front lines and scream down a hurricane just so it would get out of the way. She didn't fight the inevitable. But if a single person tried to insinuate that her best friend was wrong for wanting to feel good in the arms of someone who was capable of doing it, she'd fight like hell. Already she was and it was part of the problem, part of what had led to her breakdown, was that she kept fighting the tide on Bullshit River.

Cuddling her best friend as part of her role as comforter she listened to him and tried not to sigh too deeply. Sex was the most complicated thing in all of humanity. It had caused wars, riots, civilizations had toppled because sex, desire, need had been stirred into a mess. What Otto was describing was hopefully nothing so dire as that but still just as complicated. It worried her that he felt empty when they were done because there were two different kinds. "Empty. Empty like you're relaxed and your mind is all cleared out or empty like...darkness?" He'd understand that metaphor, she thought.

"Disappointment isn't something that I think is happening if she keeps seeking you out." Lips pursed slightly. She needed to know Maebe better, needed to understand her better, and was very nearly considering approaching Mimsy to further that goal. Of course the Life intermediate seemed to have a problem with the vixen so it could be...problematic. As if this whole thing wasn't already! "I wish I could help more. I don't know Maebe very well. I don't know what she's thinking if it's not simple...want. Need. Desire. Those things I understand because I've felt them. They're not bad." But there were other things. There was use, there were games that people played to see if they could, because they could.

Maybe she ought to have a talk with Maebe baby herself.

Ever the best friend, ever Camille with her blinders on when it came to those who she loved, she bumped her forehead against his lightly. "If she doesn't like you though, she's missing out. But it still doesn't make you dirty. If your intentions are good you can't possibly be wrong." A hard nudge from Kidana had her amending. "Ki says you can be wrong but not in this area. Usually. Something about good intentions and a path to hell but uh, I have a condo down there so you won't be alone."

Taking a breath she squeezed him again and then asked. "Do you want her for more than just the physical?"

More things clicked. Knowing Otto everything he said was making perfect sense but it didn't make it less concerning. Not because it was wrong but because it was wrong for him. If anyone had bothered to ask Cami the distinction between the two she would have launched on an explanation that would have taken her perhaps a whole week. It was a fine line to walk between putting your opinions on others because you were uncomfortable and offering help because they were. Otto was uncomfortable with his response to Maebe because it wasn't something he'd dealt with before.

Cami was uncomfortable because she didn't know how to help and it tore at her in the smallest kitten claws. Was she failing as a best friend already? < You promised to be there. You did not promise to solve his problems for him and you would not be doing him a favor if you tried. > Ever-rational. Blessed Kidana.

Quiet stretched out as they cuddled in the center of her bed, her mind working through the problem, trying to find the words. "Do you think that you feel like something is missing because you're used to a deeper connection? In theory, for you, something is missing because it's not what you're used to." Chewing on her bottom lip she turned her head to kiss his cheek softly, a moment before she broke what she was afraid would be bad news. "I think, Otto, your struggle is going to have to be deciding whether or not you can accept the lack of connection. I would bet it doesn't bother her because...well." She colored slightly around the edges. "Certainly I didn't share one with her."

And that was all she was going to say about that.

What they had sounded like the one-night stand that was never-ending but it always ended. It ended or it changed. Maebe and Otto were caught in some sort of agonizing limbo that very nearly horrified Cami. Certainly she would not want to be caught up in it! But she was, because Otto was, and she didn't know what to do. "Or...perhaps maybe you should go find her next time. See what she says. What she does. Maybe if you're in control of your interaction with her, even a little bit, it will help you think more clearly?" Now she was just throwing things at the wall to see if they would stick.

Sometimes? Sex was just a little too complicated to be worth it. But it was a small island and, at the end of the day, something was always better than nothing. In theory.

It did feel wrong. Just seeing how defeated Otto was by the whole thing made her feel like she'd done something wrong by advising him against his natural inclination. Clarifying she meant he ought to go and jump her bones on his own terms and not her own didn't seem really like the way to go so instead Cami did something much easier. Snagging the edges of her blanket as best she could the magenta-haired trainee wrapped it around the both of them so that they could snuggle that much more effectively inside the warmth of it. He'd picked it out. It was a good blanket.

"I want to keep giving you advice but I think it's just gonna make it harder. I think you should do what feels right to you but if you can't, or if you don't want to, that's okay. You'll figure it out and I'll just be here, okay?" Relationship advice? When her one and only potential relationship had failed so spectacularly because when she was something other than the super-happy fun-time girl she wasn't worth the trouble?

Uncomplicated she could be. It was the easiest thing in the world to sit wrapped up in a big purple and blue blanket while she shared with him a few silly short videos that had made her laugh earlier that day. Maybe he'd get something out of all that what-ifing and attempts at being encouraging. Helpful. Maybe he'd get nothing at all. But she'd tried and if nothing worked they'd just try again. One thing that worked, however, was this.

No assembly required.