[PRP] Different Attitudes (Modera and Saffron)

[Cajmera]

 

[Cajmera]

Saffron
~~~

Man, this place was creepy. Saffron couldn't put her hoof on exactly what it was, but there was something about this region that made her hair stand on end. If she wasn't so darned stubborn she'd already be long gone; as it was, she was having a major argument with herself as to whether she should just move on. Wasn't just being here now sufficient?

~~~

Many Soquili go through a rebellious stage in their youth. However, most of those 'rebellions' are merely teenage angst or a youthful desire to break the mold of parental expectations. By the time those Soquili reach adulthood, their rebellion has officially worn out its welcome. The things they were fighting so hard to do as teens are either done and gone or have lost their luster; either way, they quietly retire to the status of memories. Those Soquilis, when faced with their own adulthood, grow up and leave their youthful rebellions behind.

Not so with Saffron. Perhaps it was because her rebellion had been a part of her life for so long, but entering adulthood had only been a slight transition for her. Nothing was finished, almost nothing had been done, and she had no intentions of changing her ideals or dreams just because she had entered the magical realm of adulthood. She had a lot of lost time to make up for.

In her youth, Saffron had felt stifled by the protectiveness of her fathers. She had chafed against their rules, and felt they were unreasonably rigid when it came to Saffron and her behavior. Things her friends did as par for the course were forbidden to her; she couldn't even go out on her own without having her father's familiar as an escort. It made her feel that her fathers didn't trust her, or, worse, that they still regarded her as a child incapable of making her own smart choices. Her rebellion crystallized into one pulsing wish: To get away from everything and everyone familiar, and to see what else was out there.

Specifically, to see EVERYTHING else that was out there.

Which was why she found herself here, in a small wooded grove just south of the mountains, feeling extremely uncomfortable without knowing why.

What had happened here, or what was still happening here? She was no believer in ghosts or the supernatural, but standing here, amidst these trees, she felt as though she was being watched. She had already made two rounds of the grove, poking her nose into shrubs and up into branches, and the most she'd seen was a random squirrel. Still, the feeling wasn't going away, and she was tempted to give into it and go away herself. She was already here, she could count this place as having been 'seen.' If only she didn't hate the idea of being driven away!  

[Cajmera]

Modera
~~~

Modera was feeling politely amused. She knew she needed to move on, that her lingering in this place was unhealthy, but it was like this former battlefield had become a part of her. She might not have fought in the Kalona war, but her time spent healing the wounded and honoring the dead had moved her in ways she still didn't understand. Modera had considered herself fulfilled before the War; she was a disciple of Temperance, preaching the way of moderation and restraint. She had brought numerous Soquili to understanding, convincing them of the value of restraint and cooperation. If everyone was moderate, then everyone had enough because no one took more than necessary and so resources went further. It was a perfect system, and sharing the message of that perfect system had always been her joy and purpose.

Then the War had happened, and Modera had felt the pull of a new calling. She had obviously been a unicorn her whole life, and had used her healing skills from time to time as a cursory thing. But never in her life had she felt any calling to heal. For her, healing was almost a 'necessary evil'; she had a horn and was trained in healing, therefore she could not in good conscience refrain form using her skills when presented with a need. But it was an almost mechanical thing; she felt no spiritual pull to heal, nor did she gain any sense of deep satisfaction from helping.

That had all changed during the Kalona war. The sheer volume of casualties was staggering; any Soquili with any understanding of healing was desperately needed to help. Even non-unicorns who had herbal knowledge or experience with things such as bone-setting was a boon; a unicorn like Modera, particularly a unicorn who was exclusively healing and took no part in the fighting, was a valuable commodity.

In a time of such hardship, there was no need to preach the message of moderation. Things were scarce, and the difficulty of the situation was bringing out the best in the Kawani Soquili. There was no need for Modera's message, because the Soquili were already living that lifestyle. With almost seamless ease, she transitioned into the role of a full healer. And in that role, for the first time, she found true fulfillment. It was exhausting work, both physically and emotionally, but it gave her a sense of satisfaction she had never felt before.

~~~

Months had passed since the last battle, and Modera knew she needed to move on. She had grappled with herself after it was over and she started to feel the loss of her purpose; she still couldn't quite explain why battlefield healing had appealed to her so strongly. One thing she knew for a fact, general healing still did nothing for her; her time in the war hadn't changed everything.

There was nothing left for her here, she knew, but she still hung about the grove where her last battle had happened. It brought her peace, it brought her comfort...and occasionally, it brought her a Soquili.

Like now!  

[Cajmera]

Saffron
~~~

Ok, this was officially starting to get spooky. Saffron was many things, but she was no tracker, and her fighting style was more 'school of hard knocks' than actual training. She might hate the idea of running simply because a place was giving her an uneasy feeling, but feelings could often be indicators of something outside the senses. Who knew, perhaps even now there was some sinister Soquili, a Kalona perhaps, hiding just beyond the edge of the undergrowth, watching her, sizing her up. Perhaps she was only moments away from being attacked!

Great. As if it wasn't enough being weirded out by a place, Saffron was starting to creep herself out! If she kept up worrying at this rate, she'd be as bad as her fathers. And THAT was a creepy thought not worth contemplating!

Cringing, Saffron shook off the mental picture of herself holed up in a cave, never going farther than a day's travel away so that she could always sleep in the same spot at night. Sweet and cozy it might be, but also restrictive, cloying, and dull as dirt to boot. No, she would continue to be her own mare, living boldly. Perhaps even living stupidly, from time to time...but it was her life, on her terms!

So she straightened up and called out in a bold, carrying voice, "Hello?"  

[Cajmera]

Modera
~~~

Perhaps there was something to be said for the belief that living in the past will make one literally become a part of the past; in Modera's case, a ghost. With her grey coat and natural grace, she could be as silent as a whisper without thinking twice about it, a shadow amongst the other shadows. She had been standing quietly amidst the greenery, watching the other mare with a sense of interested curiosity, for some time now; however, it hadn't once occurred to her how much time was passing, or that she herself might be responsible for the other mare's obvious agitation. Modera had been curious about that agitation; having spent so much time in this grove, she could read it as well as she could read herself and knew there was nothing here to worry about, except perhaps the strange mare herself.

Yet the mare was so agitated...

Modera was beginning to wonder if the mare hadn't perhaps lost someone in one of the battles and that was why she was so bothered. It completely bypassed Modera that she herself was staring, and that the mare might be feeling the unsettling sensation of being watched by unknown eyes. It wasn't until the mare finally called out her greeting that Modera realized she was staring, and she blushed with shame when that realization hit her in the face.

But at the same time, she knew that the right thing to do was make herself known. Ducking her head to avoid snaring her horn on any of the branches, she stepped out of the shrubbery as she responded, "Hello. I couldn't help but notice you seem out of sorts; is there anything bothering you that I could help with? I am a healer," She added with a slight gesture to her horn.  

[Cajmera]

Saffron
~~~

All her life, Saffron had been a bit of a tomboy. She liked to be rough-and-tumble, to be fast, strong; she liked to wrestle, to run, to fly farther and faster than anyone else. A competitive streak a mile wide had occassionally driven her parents to distraction, and made Saffron a less-than-popular playmate amongst some of the more easy-going Soquili foals. As she'd grown, Saffron had managed to smooth a few of the roughest corners; a few hard knocks had done wonders for her cockiness and quieted down her tendency to boast. But at the end of the day, she was the same rowdy mare she'd always been.

And for a rowdy tomboy, stealth was not a strong suit. When the grey mare emerged from the greenery, Saffron was honestly shocked; she had stared intently at that very shrub multiple times as she'd looked around in search of her watcher without catching so much as a trace of movement. Even watching the grey mare emerge, Saffron was shocked at how silently it was happening, without so much as a ruffle of the branches. If she didn't know better, she would almost think the other mare was a ghost!

But she did know better, and she didn't believe in ghosts. And honestly, ghost or not, it was a relief to know she wasn't going crazy, that there HAD been someone else there! "Wow, nice trick with the ninja-ness there! I was wondering if there was someone else around, glad to know I was right." Bobbing her head in greeting at the other mare, Saffron offered, "I'll be fine, now that I know what's what. I had this sense I was being watched, but couldn't see you to know what was going on! So, no healing needed, thanks."  

[Cajmera]

Modera
~~~

Oops.

Modera had already realized she had been gawking, but when it became apparent Modera herself had caused the other mare's distress, Modera's shame only increased. Obviously she needed to work on her manners; there was no call for such behavior, making visitors uncomfortable. This place wasn't her home, after all, and she had less of a proprietary claim to the grove than many others; she wouldn't be surprised if the stream of pilgrims to the battlefield continued for years, there had been so many dead and injured in that last fight. If she was going to hang around, she needed to be sure she didn't add any discomfort to whatever those pilgrims were already feeling!

"Oh, I am so sorry I made you uncomfortable. I was just curious; it had been a few days since the last visitor, and you didn't seem like the usual pilgrim, anyway. Obviously I let my curiosity get the better of me, which was very rude. Please forgive the lapse."  

[Cajmera]

Saffron
~~~

Talk about your overzealous apologies. Saffron liked to think that she had mellowed a bit in her maturity, that she was no longer as easy to provoke as she had been as a teenager. That was true, in part; her sharply edged tongue was less likely to lash out now than in her youth, and her barbs didn't cut nearly as deep as they used to. But she was still the same in a few ways; specifically, in having little to no patience and having little tolerance for overly dramatic behavior. Whatever the grey mare's reasons for her apologies, enough was enough.

Raising a wing, she made a sharp gesture of dismissal to the grey mare. "That's enough of that. I'm no pilgrim, whatever is here to pilgramage for, and you honestly didn't do anything that merits apologizing. So...stop it now, ok?" The words came out a little harsher than she'd meant, so she tried to soften their impact with a little smile. "Sorry, I'm just not that big a fan of apologies."  

[Cajmera]

Modera
~~~

Modera was taken aback by the blunt intensity of the mare's words. Really, all she had wanted to do was apologize, but now she was getting her head bitten off? That hardly seemed the proper response to an apology, and it took a great deal of self-control for her to refrain from responding with equal sharpness. She was not a mare easily offended, as a rule, but she did not appreciate being spoken to in such a manner! Even the smile, tacked on as an after-thought by the other mare, did nothing to soothe her now-ruffled feathers. How extremely disgraceful!

Still, she managed to refrain from snapping back herself, merely saying with pronounced coolness, "As you wish, we won't say another word about it." And that was it, as far as she was concerned, snapping her mouth shut and looking away with obviously wounded dignity. In all her time among the battlefields, she had NEVER been talked to so harshly, so completely unprovoked! Even during the aftermath of battle, when Soquili were suffering from life-threatening wounds, they had NEVER snapped at her! Yes, they had said some unpleasant things about their enemies, or about their wounds, or about the miserable nature of the situation in general, but they had always been considerate to her. Most had been grateful, some enthusiastically so; others had merely been quiet, facing the pain and uncertainty of the healing process with stoicism. But they had ALL been courteous, and if badly wounded Soquili could be courteous, then so too should perfectly healthy Soquili.

Obviously this mare was not the forgiving type, Modera thought grumpily. Why else would she be so rude when receiving an apology? Because whatever her feelings about apologies, there were better ways to get her point across than being snappish. This was a fact Modera knew all too well; in her earliest days in the Kawani lands, Modera herself had been a bit...well, rough around the edges. She had been so zealous in sharing her message of temperance and moderation that she had had the unfortunate tendency to steam-roll her listeners. At first, she had no idea her behavior was so counter-productive to her cause, but as a few progressive meetings went sour, she started to consider her behavior in a new light.

And the result was a softened manner of talking, one she THOUGHT was standing her in good stead. Obviously this other mare could stand from a few lessons in that respect! With that in mind, Modera suddenly blurted out, "You know, you don't have to be so rude. I really didn't mean to do anything to upset you, but if I did you've now managed to turn the tables and upset ME! I know we're strangers, but I would offer you the friendly advice that you ought to think about how your words will affect others before you say them." It was a long speech, but it needed to be said!  

[Cajmera]

Saffron
~~~

Well, well; apparently the overly apologetic mouse had a bit of a bite in her. Saffron had thought she'd done a good job of tempering her waspish words with a softer tone and a smile, but it the grey mare's reaction was any indication she hadn't quite pulled that tempering job off properly. Geez, who put the bee in her bonnet? It wasn't like Saffron had really been that rude, there was no reason for Modera to be so self-righteous about it. And that was enough for Saffron to be metaphorically off and running. "Rude? Honestly, if you think that what I said was rude, you haven't spent a lot of time out in the world. I was just being honest, but I guess you're too sensitive to deal with honesty. What do you expect me to do instead, paste a fakey smile on my face and pretend everything is fine while really looking for the first excuse to run away?"

Saffron had never been a shrinking violet, and would be the first to admit she had a temper. It didn't take her much to get going, either; she was prickly in the extreme, quick to lash out when she felt annoyed or upset. As her father charitably put it, that was one of her 'less charming' traits. It was certainly not going to win her any friend in Modera, but Saffron had never been too keen on making friends. Why would she want such a sensitive mare as a friend, anyway?

"And look, I'm honestly not trying to go out of my way to rip on you, but you're awfully hoity toity, you know? Just because I don't like being kowtowed to on a regular basis, or even a random basis. I get that some people think it's good manners to be super apologetic, but I doubt there are many Soquili who don't do the super apology who would agree with that. I bet most of them would agree with me that it's just plain annoying." Saffron herself certainly thought so; she'd rather deal with the shrill cries of an infant than the submissive tones of an adult who really ought to know better. "Especially when you didn't do anything wrong; try having a bit of pride, you know? You're not automatically in the wrong because you took me or anyone else by surprise."

The other mare was just standing there, staring at Saffron with round eyes. Saffron was used to that; she might not look like a stereotypical mare, but she was still a mare, and she'd found there were a lot of commonly held beliefs about how a mare should act. Saffron's way was certainly not in step with that common belief!  

[Cajmera]

Modera
~~~

Well, so much for trying to be friendly! So much for trying just about anything with this mare, as far as Modera was concerned. Really, there was just no excuse for that kind of rudeness, and the words she chose! It was like the other mare was just spoiling for a fight, and hoped that Modera would oblige. Honestly though, if Modera wasn't a peaceful sort of mare, she'd be tempted! She'd been nothing but considerate of this mare who had been on edge from the moment she showed up, and now this?

"Well, I hope you can pardon me for thinking that common courtesy and politeness have a place in the world. If you're from such a rude and random place that you think something as simple as an apology and a bit of friendly advice are 'hoity-toity', then I feel sorry for you. But you know, the world isn't necessarily a hostile, snappy place; you don't have to act like everyone is out to get you. It's not an attractive trait." Modera's expression as she spoke was prim in the extreme, but her eyes were glinting with suppressed irritation. The nerve of this mare! The absolute nerve!  

[Cajmera]

Saffron
~~~

This was why Saffron hated meeting strangers, especially strange mares. They were so full of themselves, their perky little selves and their particular ideas about how the world should be and how people should behave. It was enough to drive any sane Soquili to violence, let alone rudeness. And Saffron wasn't feeling particularly tolerant today. Not after that whole 'creepy' thing that had been going on earlier, and not after she'd just been verbally harangued by Miss Prim and Proper. Enough was enough; she was done being moralized to!

Narrowing her eyes, she took in the grey mare once more. She was slight and slender; clearly not a fighter or much of a 'rough and tumble' sort. Her grey coat was smooth and unmarred, her hair perfectly braided. For all intents and purposes, she was the poster child for 'Miss Priss." In fact, all that was missing was a ruffly bow woven into her mane or tail. Still, Saffron was charitable; she didn't need any more than that to be a true "Miss Priss."

Finishing her assessment, she knew exactly what she needed to do. "Look, Missy, you've obviously have some very 'fine' ideas about how Soquili are supposed to behave. I'm sure your 'fine' ideas have a lovely place in your perfect little world, but you know what? I couldn't give a rat's hind end about any of it. If you think I should be flattered that a stranger is criticizing me and the way I talk, bully for you. But that's not my thing, and it'll never be my thing. I'm not the sort of mare who likes apologies, or apologizing, because you know what? We're all allowed to act however the damn we want to. Maybe you're worried about what people think of you; well, whatever. Personally, I'd rather people hate the real me than like a phony me, but whatever. Maybe you're just not as secure as some of us."

Finishing her little speech with a shrug, Saffron couldn't help but think how shocked certain members of her family would be. The rudeness they would cringe at, but also accept as normal for Saffron. The part that would be hard to wrap their heads around was the length of the speech; it just wasn't Saffron's way to talk that much. She tended to be more of a 'soundbite' mare; get what she needed to say out of the way rapidly in a few brief, pithy statements.

But somehow, she didn't think that this mare would understand 'pithy.' Given how easily upset the grey mare was proving, Saffron figured that blunter was better; more direction was better. She could always just walk away, but Saffron would never let it be said that she turned her back on a confrontation. Even if if was only verbal.  

[Cajmera]

Modera
~~~

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. For the first few moments after the other mare finished speaking, Modera could only stand and stare at her in bewilderment. Where on earth had all of that come from? How had the other mare come to conclusion that Modera's world was perfect, or that her ideals were perfect? Sure, to Modera herself her ideals were perfect, but that's because they were HER ideals! No one said they had to apply to the world at large, or to the other mare in specific. All she had said was that good manners were a thing and worth considering, that's all! And now she was being exposed to...well, to this!

Still, she wasn't going to stand their gawping indefinitely. Something had to be said in response to that outrageous statement; there was no way that Modera was going to let that nonsense be 'the last word' in this conversation. Though she was fast coming to realize that the last word had better come sooner than later; that the two mares were patently different from one another couldn't be clearer, and the possibility of violence was growing. As a pacifist, it was definitely in Modera's best interests to avoid any violence!

"Well, I'm sorry you don't think a person can be true to themself and be mannerly at the same time. You might think you can escape social norms by saying you don't believe in them, but that just makes you out to be even more of an a**." Wow, she'd actually said a**!  

[Cajmera]

Saffron
~~~

Saffron wouldn't be surprised if her lips remained curled into a snarl for days after this encounter; really, she couldn't recall the last time she'd been so utterly disgusted with someone. It was as if the grey mare were determined to provoke Saffron into attacking her, standing there all smug and prim and holier-than-thou, spouting platitudes about manners and proper behavior and moral codes. Honestly, Saffron wouldn't be surprised if the mare starting drawing pictures in the dirt to emphasize her point and tried to give Saffron lectures on 'than dangers of having a scruffy appearance!'

There was a word Saffron wanted to say to the grey mare, but in spite of her bluntness she did have a tiny bit of self control. So she merely thought it, her eyes narrowed and her lip curled up in that face-freezing snarl. "Well, well, Miss Priss said a naughty word, and I bet you feel all proud of yourself for that, don't you?" Snorting, Saffron shook her head at the grey mare; really, was the fact she'd said a rude word supposed to actually carry any weight with Saffron, or prove anything to her? The other mare had looked patently uncomfortable as the word 'a**' left her mouth, which only made her speech seem awkward and overly-pompous. If Saffron hadn't been so annoyed, she might have been amused; in a lot of ways, the grey mare was making her think of a little foal, trying to act grown up by saying outrageous things.

Well, she certainly had the 'outrageous things' part down pat. "Well, I'm sure you feel that you're in the right, and that's just lovely for you. But honestly, you've been nothing but creepy and irritating since the moment you appeared on the scene, Lady; hell, you were creepy and irritating before I even knew you were here," Saffron said with an involuntary shudder as she remembered the unsettling sensation of being watched. "Whatever it is you do here, or did here, I'm gonna say you need to work on shedding some of the associations, because you're not doing yourself or any visitors any favors by skulking around, peeping on people and lecturing them. Maybe you should, I don't know, work on developing a life and a personality of your own that don't involve contact with strangers. Because honestly, you're going to get your a** kicked one of these days if you keep it up."

There she was, going off on a long tangent again. No doubt her fathers would faint if they heard it; so many words in so little time! Never mind the content of the speech; Saffron felt that all things considered, she was being downright nice to the grey mare. Because Saffron had a relatively good amount of control over her temper; there were many other Soquili out there who couldn't say the same. And while Saffron could be vindictive and hold grudges, she was not ultimately hard of heart. Well, mostly.

However, she had done enough with this mare. Whatever she chose to do, Saffron had said what needed to be said and hopefully the grey mare would take her words into consideration. Saffron wasn't going to hold her breath on that, but she also wouldn't lose any sleep over the grey mare's fate. She was many things, the grey mare, but she was primarily not Saffron's problem.

Spreading her wings, Saffron took a step back and away from the grey mare, into a more open section of the clearing. "Think it over; you might be surprised what happens." With that parting shot, Saffron kicked off the ground and took off, neither listening to or caring about the grey mare's final words. Saffron had already heard enough.