She had not expected to bless one of her own progeny so soon again, but it never bothered her; she took every blessing she was asked for in stride and blessed with joy, especially for her children and their children and any children beyond that.Tastes Like Summer has to marvel at how far the children of her children stretched. Here she walked with one of her great grandchildren who was now expecting children of her own. They had not spoken much as they walked. Dark Matter had sought her out, going back to the warm, lush lands that had raised her. The Felled Heart, though loving, was not the type to stay and raise children so they had been left with the Mother's Club to be raised by Starburst and the other Mothers. They had each left in their own time, caught by some notion or another that led them away from the tribe that had raised them.The silence was companionable and neither doe was inclined to break it, especially in the still night air, the cicada song a constant and comforting hum.
Finally, Dark Matter spoke, "I don't know what it means to truly love."
She seemed to want to say more, so Tastes Like Summer let the declaration hang in the air.
"I- I crave it, I obsess over it, but all I ever find is darkness and void in place of something that others find so easy."
She continued after a short breath, "What if I am incapable of feeling love?"
Starburst considers the question carefully before answering, voice gentle and sympathetic without pity, "Love comes in many different forms. You are young and perhaps you have not found romantic love yet, but that hardly means that you are incapable of love."
"Do you not, in some way, already love your children? You did seek me out, after all. Something must have compelled you to seek a blessing for children that are not even born yet."
Dark Matter was not satisfied with that answer. She wasn't precisely sure why she had sought out the blessing other than that was what was done and she knew where to get one. She wanted to love the children, but she didn't feel that soft warmth in her chest or even a desire, necessarily, that all her children be happy. "I don't even know that. I don't think I love them. I don't think I can love."
She made the leap from wondering if she was capable to declaring the unlikelihood of her capability to love. Starburst stopped and, in deference, Dark Matter did not try to go on.
"Don't make your determinations so quickly and on so little evidence. Matters of the heart are the most difficult to determine." She tilted her head, giving a soft, wry smile. "I know that better than many."
"And even if you cannot love the same way other kin love, I would not say that is so bad," she continued. "What makes love so important? Would it not be better to be compassionate and kind in the absence of love than to be cruel and be capable of a horrid kind of love?"
That silenced Dark Matter for a while, who, after a confused shake of her head began to walk again. Starburst did not try to stop her great granddaughter and took up the walk again, staying close by the other doe's side.
"I want to be able to love though," she said, sudden and quiet.
"Don't let your worth be defined by a single capability or lack of a capability. There is more to life than loving."
They walked on into the night. It was a long time before Dark Matter finally nodded and sighed. "I'll try."
"Good, that is all I could ever ask for." Tastes Like Summer smiled, a little sad at seeing Dark Matter so conflicted. She touched the younger doe gently on the cheek.
Dark Matter was flooded with warmth as Starburst spoke, "May your children find what their hearts seek for, no matter what it is or isn't and may they be happy no matter the absences that they feel."
"Thank you."
And they continued to walk until the sun rose again, as it always did, shedding light on dark matters.
