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 Posted: Fri May 09, 2014 9:16 pm
Post-apoc AU 6/10: In Which Harland is in a utopia. Except it's only full of women.
Everything smelled way nicer, now. Drapes were softer, there were really nice sheet sets on all the beds, and Harland never slept alone.
Too bad it was always with a few women, and he kept waking up to someone cupping his a** while he slept. It was nice, at first, and that was disorienting. Then he'd wake up enough to realize that even though his accommodations were nice, he was completely in the wrong place.
He was also not the kind of guy who thought that lesbians were hot.
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Posted: Fri May 09, 2014 9:29 pm
He was starting to get really tired of hiding away where no one could find him. The food was great, and he was always well-rested, but he was starting to sleep with one eye open lately and he was seriously tired of being groped.
Maybe he could learn to make his voice higher pitched and wear some dresses, makeup, earrings. He was getting desperate enough that crossdressing convincingly seemed like a serious option.
Because he sure as hell wasn't going to suddenly be straight.
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Posted: Fri May 09, 2014 10:16 pm
Harland's breathing seemed way too loud, and he was certain he'd get caught. He was hiding behind a long, soft curtain in cream with ivory embroidery. He couldn't help but admire the feel and pattern as he hid, though: it was really nice.
It had nothing to do with being gay. A guy could admire drapes without it being a stereotype, he thought with a mild sense of irritation as he rubbed some of the fabric between his thumb and index.
He heard some giggling out in the hall in which he was hiding.
"Haaaarlannnnd! Second clap!" the feminine voice called out. "Or I'll be very mad, Harland!"
Harland reached his hands out, and clapped.
He heard squealing and giggling as someone barelled towards him.
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Posted: Fri May 09, 2014 10:21 pm
There were so many massage oils around him in their glass bottles, vials and decanters that Harland was beginning to get a headache. He tipped a bottle of lavender oil into his palm and set it down, rubbing it into his skin. All his callous was gone. He sighed inwardly. His skin was softer than Alistaire's by this point, he imagined.
He rubbed the woman's shoulders under him. She was laid out across satin pillows, her dress undone at the back.
This would be heaven, to nearly anyone but him. Surely Ian would be enjoying this. Harland laughed, thinking about Ian in a world full of women.
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Posted: Fri May 09, 2014 10:26 pm
"It's all your FAULT!"
There was a redhead, and she was barelling towards him at an alarming speed. Harland was just walking, a novel open in one hand, the other tucked into his pocket. He didn't change gears well. "Pardon me?" he asked, after a pause.
Suddenly there was a pen knife involved, and it was buried hilt deep in a major organ. Harland was just staring at the hilt, and then back up at her face, with a ? look on his face.
"If you hadn't come around, she would have been with me forever. You touched her with your filthy hands, you held her," the woman accused him, sobbing.
At least he'd never have to play hide and clap again, he supposed.
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