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 Posted: Fri May 09, 2014 4:02 pm
I don't know about you, but I'm pretty shy. I don't speak up much, including when I get misgendered. redface
So, how do my fellow trans* Gaians correct people when you get misgendered? Do you do it at all? Do you get upset with them or is it just a kind reminder, like a quick smack upside the head?
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Posted: Fri May 09, 2014 7:14 pm
Ya know, I think this an issue that even cisgender people face.
I think it ultimately just comes down to being assertive. You have to understand that not everyone is going to get it right, most people just aren't educated on the topic. A lot of my friends when we went to go see Laverne Cox speak at my university they referred to her (one of her preferred pronouns) as him.
It's just a situation where you politely correct someone. If they ask for reasoning, you can either explain it to them or just keep it as a simple, "just what I prefer."
If anything I think the biggest factor is just being understanding that most people are terribly ignorant about preferred pronouns and how to address trans individuals properly.
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Posted: Fri May 09, 2014 7:26 pm
Yes, I agree.^^
It's not something exclusive to trans* people. It can happen to anyone, really, and it doesn't even have to be an issue, if dealt with in the right way.
Though I tend not to correct people irl due to social difficulties, I agree that the best way to do it is not to make it too big of a deal, and to be patient and kind, yet assertive, as you said.
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 7:00 pm
Whenever someone misgenders me, I decide to properly correct them in the most courteous way possible. But if they continue to misgender me, I set them aside and let them revel in their ignorance. I'm no longer the kind of person that easily explodes over things (even though my pot tips over when I keep things in for too long). My preferred pronouns are something I feel everyone should respect, but I can understand that some people just lack the mental capacity to grasp a concept that, to be honest, is a lot more complicated than the trans* community can make it seem.
TL;DR: Be polite at first, and if not, show them just how painful being ignorant can be by ignoring them. (Excluding civil congregations, obviously; although, to be honest, if I can avoid the people that misgender me and others, gladly).
EDIT: I kind of support slip-ups, because that way people I care about (or people that genuinely want to stay informed) learn. When the slip-ups are too common, though, I don't really pride myself in keeping quiet.
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Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 8:33 pm
VinceCleverUsername I don't know about you, but I'm pretty shy. I don't speak up much, including when I get misgendered. redface So, how do my fellow trans* Gaians correct people when you get misgendered? Do you do it at all? Do you get upset with them or is it just a kind reminder, like a quick smack upside the head? Personally for me, I'm just glad I got recognized as something other than the usual, because I do take pride in being bi and trans, soooo I'll correct people on occasion but at least they get the idea! Honestly I guess I don't mind whatever people think I am, the ones who know are the ones who cared to ask. This is all personal opinion of course, but long answer short, being misgendered doesn't bother me. Just a reminder of who knows me and who doesn't know me very well~ 3nodding
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Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 9:18 pm
I don't really feel the need to correct people constantly because it can't be helped, I still look pretty feminine from certain angles and until I get my glasses updated, start growing a beard or some type of facial hair, + gain a wider jawline, etc.; I will probably most likely get called by female pronouns from time to time. I do however correct a person once but not in a harsh way because like I said, it can't really be helped and plus I've learned to realize even cis-gender folk get mis-gender so there's not really much to argue about is there?
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Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2014 7:32 pm
i dont bother correcting anyone. im just as happy with people thinking im a man as i am with people thinking im a chick. if someone asks i will say im a lady just because im used to it more since i do have lady bits
im somewhere between bigender and cis girl who has 0 ******** to give
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Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 12:10 pm
i mean, i've been called a guy before by a little kid (to be fair, my hair was back), and i've just sort of politely corrected them-- something along the lines of, "actually, i'm a girl!"
my brother was once called a girl, too, but he had the whole hsm- skater haircut thing. it was a rough time for his hairstyle.
although, if it wasn't a little kid, i'd probably sort of go "oh, i'm actually ----." either that, or be passive aggressive about it, ahaha.
so um, just don't get in their face about it unless you can make sure they're doing it intentionally? but even then, like yelling at them isn't gonna do sh*t a lot of the time.
sidenote: it's generally the best to actually bring it up though, because some guy was wearing a tank top under a shirt, and had generally softer features. and i told them that their bra was showing. so, yanno, that went well. tl;dr don't let them be a big dumb idiot like me.
x
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Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2014 11:46 am
Maybe because I'm not transgendered it's not the same, but when I was working in a call center people would call me ma'am. This was before I was a drag queen, so it was a little embarrassing. I'd either not say anything, or I'd just emphasize my name so they know I am a man, lol. Eventually I'd just say "sir" after they called me ma'am, and they'd laugh and apologize.
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Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2014 12:13 pm
I am not trans, but people do call me a he at least once a day. I just inform them that I am a female.
Even if I am cross dressing.
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Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2014 9:02 am
I just politely correct anyone who gets it wrong, while it can be upsetting it's not the end of the world if someone I've corrected several times keeps doing it at that point I'll just ignore them not worth the time but that hardly ever happens to me.
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2014 8:25 pm
I personally feel its best not to correct someone if the person doesnt mean to. I have a friend who is transitioning. and whenever i am talking to him i will slip up and say her sometimes because im so used to it just flowing out of my mouth. if i were to be reprimanded for slipping up i feel i would feel more upset that the person doesnt understand how it can be a hard thing to transition from calling someone something for such a long time and then instantly needing to change over.
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Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 9:13 am
If someone misgendered me, I normally let it go because I don't want to make a big deal. I only correct people within close proximity or people I know. Sometimes I can't blame people just because the clothes I wear don't exactly scream "I'M A WOMAN" which doesn't help at all.
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Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2014 1:34 pm
My good friend is turning from my 'Asian son' to my Asian 'daughter. (It's a running joke in our friends.) She's really cool about when we mess us but she wants to be a female 100%. Treated, refered to as, dress.
Though she's still shy on it and unsure we all apologize and correct ourselves when we mess up. It only takes a look from her to remind us that it's not 'him' 'he' or any male pronoun now.
Personally though, the first ******** who misgenders her Ima rip into and stick up for her all the way. I am not sweet and gentle like her. But all in all it's pretty chill.
I've had a Transvestite friend whom I had to gender correct people over too. That's my friend B, she's awesome.
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