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Things had gotten off to a rocky start for Sailor Themisto. He was charged with defending the planet, perhaps the entire universe, had to keep this fact a secret from his family and friends, had to sneak out at night to defend the city, had magical powers and to top it all off? The cosmic tailor, whoever the b*****d was, saw it fit to give him ridiculous wooden sandals he couldn't figure out how to run in. There was no way he could ever be stealthy, he realized, and usually gave up and removed his shoes before the patrol was over.

Themisto sat, slumped over on a cafe's metal chair, elbows propped up on the small matching table for two. This cafe didn't bother to bring its table and chairs indoors before locking up the store and Themisto saw fit to take a break. His wooden sandals rested in the chair beside him.

"I dunno if anybody would even believe me if I told 'em..." muttered he, cheek distorted by his weight on the heel of his hand. "Hi, I'm Themisto, magical badass with stupid shoes. I can't believe these folks keep this crap under wraps. How the hell do they do it?" Themisto sighed and pondered breaking into a vending machine (because while convenience stores were open at all hours, he couldn't possibly jog in there for a drink. Senshi weren't welcome and on top of that, his wallet disappeared when he powered up. What the hell was up with that, anyway?) when he heard a yelp followed by a roar.

Oh jesus, it's one of those monster things, like the tentacle hentai beast that attacked Penelope! Without a second thought, Themisto snatched up and donned his shoes and went running in that direction. The roars came from about two blocks away and he rounded the corner with surprising speed. Themisto still hadn't gotten the hang of being faster than he normally was. Upon turning the corner, his eyes met with a large bipedal and purple crocodile, gaping maw bearing down on someone much smaller than it. Themisto couldn't see much of the victim and didn't remember to scan the area. Instead, he decided to do something stupid.

"HEY! Ugly! Yeah, you! Your mom was a Koopa Troopa!" and launched a clunky wooden sandal and its head.

Sadly enough, Themisto hadn't thought any further ahead than throw the shoe and hadn't readied a plan for after the fact. So there he stood, fearful and with only one shoe, fists trembling. The beast was terrifying and Horatio had taken the time to point out that he himself was just base level and that he wasn't overly powerful. On top of that, he could very well be killed.

Killed.

Themisto swallowed the lump in his throat and staggered backwards, limping oddly due to his lack of one shoe. "You know what? Screw this." he muttered and pulled off the other one. Maybe these things were meant to be used as projectiles. He took a running start and heaved the shoe as hard as he could. To Columba, he shouted. "Okay! Um, do you have a gun or something? Bombs, maybe? Cuz I don't think I can take this thing out on my own... AHHH!"

Themisto shrieked and flopped out of the way of a reptilian claw, stumbling to try and get away from it. Not very manly at all!

"Hit it? With what?!" Themisto felt utterly deceived by the cosmos. They were given magical powers out of the blue, but weren't granted monster-searing lasers, missiles, rockets or even space-age guns. With a disgruntled groan, the newbie senshi searched around quickly from his prone position for something that could be wielded as a weapon.

Someone had left a hubcap propped up against the alley wall, likely thinking they could sell it for money. Turns out the hubcap was cheap and near worthless, so it was abandoned. Scrambling to his feet, Themisto picked it up and found that while it had some weight to it, it was nowhere near as impressive as he first imagined. Still, it was better than nothing.

Naked feet slap, slap, slaping against pavement, Themisto yelled and swung the hubcap at the beast's face as it fell from Columba's (much more impressive) assault. CLUNK, CLANG, CLUNK went the metal, now starting to bend from the force. Horatio was right - he did feel stronger in this form, but Zach had no idea why. But that was a question for another time.

Themisto found himself shocked when the creature exploded in the middle of its death throes, disseminating into so much dust, as if it never existed. Baffled, he found his body was still shaking from adrenaline and the boy's legs melted beneath him for a moment. He wheezed, wondering how she could just call him a noob so nonchalantly. Was she used to this sort of thing?

"...don't call me a noob." Themisto frowned in her general direction. Was this her way of saying thank you? "And the name's Themisto. We all gotta start someplace, don't we?"

With a grunt, the boy stood up to look for his stupid wooden shoes. Finding that they had (likely) disappeared, he walked over to gingerly offer Columba a hand. "C'mon. Let's get cleaned up."

"OW, dude, what the hell?!" came the snap from getting punched in the arm. Themisto rubbed it gingerly, nursing his "wound". Columba was much more masculine than he'd ever thought, not that that was a bad thing. Themisto simply wasn't prepared for that kind of roughhousing. "Anyway, yeah. Just gettin' started, I guess. Got awakened a few weeks ago, talking cat and everything. All I wanted to do was chat up this really fine lady and BAM, tentacle porn. This s**t's really ******** up."

Oh man, Columba was a terrible influence on him. Now Themisto was dropped eff-bombs. He sighed.

The grey-haired teen instead looked Columba over. "Okay so... you don't get wings until later? Is that it? Because Pene... er... Pasiphae had this big ol' wings on her back. Her aura was crazy too but... I'm still wrapping my mind around the whole I can sense you from far away and I also have weird and scary magical powers thing."

At the end, he shrugged. Surely Columba understood what it was like to be in that position.

Themisto took down that important piece of info immediately. "Wings equals badass? Ultimate badass? Well s**t, I need to get on that..." He couldn't very well impress ladies without some proof to back it up. If buttwings made the badass, Themisto resolved to have his posterior get some jet engines and pronto. "That also means Pasiphae is an ultimate badass. She seemed so sweet though... must be one of those nobody puts Baby in the corner kinda things."

Columba's question of tentacle porn made Themisto wince. "....yeah, some freaky weird squid-topus monster doodad showed up and tried to sex up Pasiphae all Japanese-porn-style. It was freaky. Had to get in there and save the lady! She uh... kicked more a** than me. I think I hit her with my attack too." The boy looked down at his feet, forlorn, and kicked a rock with this foot. Stupid idea.

"So uh... how do you get buttwings? How do you even get to super? Do you just ask for it or...?"