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 Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2014 4:01 pm
It had been a while since Arian had seen or spoken to Nischal. In fact the last time the two of them had really spoken had been the last time they had met up which had been about Christmas time. Arian had asked Orah to invite Nischal to their joint birthday party back in February, but the other teen hadn't turned up and Arian hadn't really pushed as he'd assumed that Nischal was busy, perhaps with school. Between his own classes and his evening alter-activities as Athene, Arian had ended up busy and it had been coming to the close of April when he realised that it had been pretty much four months since he and Nischal had last talked. Mind wandering on how Nischal had settled into Destiny City, Arian had messaged Nischal only to find that the other teen was in hospital. Which is why he was at the Destiny City hospital outside Nischal's hospital room, with a plastic container of cookies that he'd hand baked but dithered on bringing and feeling slightly awkward despite being assured that it would be okay for the other teen to have visitors. "Nischal..." he called quietly at last, figure it best to announce his presence to Nischal rather than just walking into the hospital room that the other teen had been assigned. "It's Arian, I heard that you were in hospital so I bought some cookies."
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Posted: Sun May 11, 2014 10:08 pm
Everything in the small, white room that Nischal had been locked into was dreary. The window only looked out to see another across the way, the walls were painted in an uncomfortable egg-shell color, and seemed far bleaker than needed to be. His sheets were grey and cold, and the sounds of the heart monitor he was hooked up to slowly was driving him madder than he already was. The cut on his abdomen was far deeper than he had thought; only a thin layer of flesh kept his organs in at the time. But he was stitched up, and honestly was ready to go home, if allowed.
After telling the doctors how he felt, how useless he was, how worthless and unneeded his life was, they refused to let him go. This was why he was never honest. This was why he kept all his pain and worry and frustration inside. Because it bothered others, it lead to them thinking that he was unable to take care of himself. They worried, they questioned the teenager who was living with no parents, only a guardian who hardly saw him around at all. The doctors questioned him, wondering how to get ahold of someone who loved him, but Nischal couldn't tell them. He knew he was loved, he knew people cared, but how could he bother them with such petty things..? He didn't need to bother them, not when they could be so busy defending their own times. He could handle this, he could stand being alone in this white, deafening room. He wouldn't bother anyone anymore once he got out.
The silence today was broken by a new sound, the sound of a voice that seemed so familiar but he couldn't quite place it. A sweet voice that called out his name, and in response, he sat up smiling a bit as the other spoke some more, announcing his cookie bringing.. Then it immediately fell. Why was he here? Why didn't he even care? it had been so long, he thought he had been so long forgotten.. No one ever reached out for him, but why now? Was it pity? Did he just want to see that he was alive so that there was no guilt left on him..?
"Arian.. You didn't have to.. I'm sorry to have had you come to such a place.. And after we haven't talked in so long.. You don't have to stay for long, I'm of no importance. I do appreciate you coming.. But don't waste your time here, okay? I'm sure you have more important things to do.." Nischal looked so tired, so worn, and just so hopeless.. What did he have to hope in anymore? He was such a nuisance, having been carried away but his prince, unable to save anyone in that warehouse. He deserved to just fade away. He wouldn't be a bother to anyone else then, that was certain..
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 2:31 pm
Arian hadn't really sure what to expect when he had walked into the hospital room, but the gloominess had struck at him. He couldn't quite put his finger on it immediately, although it was more than just the dreary eggshell white of the walls or the constant beeping from the monitor, although the monitor in itself told him that whatever Nischal was in for - and he hadn't been told - had to be something serious. It was as Arian walked closer to where Nischal was sitting up in the hospital bed that it sunk in why the room felt wrong. The room was just a hospital room, utilitarian and functional with no flowers or even little knick knacks around to even attempt to brighten it up as there had been in some of the other rooms that he had passed along the way - heck even if there'd been some pictures on the wall it would have been better, but there was pretty much nothing - just the dreary white of the walls, what looked to be a small dresser and the beeping monitor. "I wanted to come" he said quietly as he put the container with the cookies down on the dresser and rummaged in his bag for a moment, before fishing out the small but colourful card 'Get Well' card that he'd picked up on impulse and had ended up hastily writing on the way to the hospital and holding it out to Nischal. "I'm sorry it's not much." The Nischal in the bed seemed different to the Nischal that had bumped into him on the ice rink, last December and then had later invited him out to build a snowman - that Nischal had been so enthusiastic and pretty excited to have come to Destiny City whereas the Nischal lying in the bed looked so worn and tired and in general a million miles away to the teen that he'd first met and made Arian wonder just what had happened to cause the switch. Along with the concern however was a touch of guilt that it had taken until this point for him to catch up to the other teen, as a part of him told Arian that he could have pushed harder during those months instead of just assuming that Nischal was too busy with other things.
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Posted: Sat Jun 07, 2014 12:38 am
"You wanted to come..? Why all of a sudden? Why now? Why did it take something like this for me to see you again..?" The last bit was more directed to himself, whispered quietly as his gazed shifted from being on the boy to looking down, where his hands were, absently scratching at the IV in his hand.
When the card was offered to him, he took it, looking down at it, rather than at Arian. Though he wanted to be angry at him, for wasting his time on trash like him, Nischal found himself, gently tracing the words on the card with his finger; the raised letters offering a new textured for him to examine after days of just touching the cold plastics that he used as silverware and the stiff sheets that encased him.
"If you came out of guilt.. It's okay.. Don't feel bad.. Time was wasted on me.. That's why I couldn't bring myself to leave my room.. I tried so hard to just disappear, to be as little as possible, so that I didn't bother anyone. I'm.. I'm really sorry I missed the last chance to see you. I wanted to go, I really did.. I wanted people to be there, I wanted to be around everyone, but then I realized, they don't need me, they have so much better things to do.. So I hide.. So I want to disappear and just.. Not be in the way anymore." His hands tightened around the card he held as he went quiet, chewing on his lower lip and trying hard not to let Arian see him. He wanted to reach out to tell Arian just how thankful he was for him being here, of taking the time to think of him, to come by and see him, even though he had no obligation to do so. Instead, all he could do was fight back the sensation of breaking out into the tears that had been threatening to rise up since he had first seen the boy walk into his room.
"I find it so strange.. I kept this to myself, I kept quiet for so long, that once I told someone, I was told that it was wrong to feel this way, that I shouldn't want to disappear or feel like I don't quite belong here. It must be strange to you too." Finally looking back at Arian, he offered a small smile, having successfully drawn his tears back. "To go from happy and excited all the time, to this shrinking kid in a hospital bed.. I'm sorry though.. I really am.. I never did get to have you cookies or go to a bake sale.. I'm so very sorry it came to this."
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Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2014 1:08 pm
Mayhaps Nischal had not meant them as so, but the other's words had come across as somewhat accusatory and the more that Nischal talked was the more that Arian found his shoulders slumping. "You're right," he said at last. "Maybe I should have pushed harder when you suddenly dropped out of contact, but I assumed you were busy with other things. With other friends." His shoulders slumped further, as Nischal stared down at the card, not even looking at him as he continued to speak and by the time that he finally looked up it was Arian's turn to look down, the silence stretching for a few moments before he finally spoke. "Is that really what you think of me? That I came out of pity? That I hung out with you last year and sent you that birthday invite all out of pity?" Although his voice was as quiet as ever, he couldn't quite keep the hurt from his voice as he stared down at the depressingly bland floor. More silence stretched between them, one moment passing then two and Arian finally looked up, a forceful note slipping into his voice as he continued "I really wish that I had pushed now when you suddenly broke off contact, mayhaps then..." Mayhaps then our first meeting of the year wouldn't have ended up being in a hospital room. And not just a hospital room either, but one of the most depressing hospital rooms that he'd ever had the misfortune of being in. Hindsight was apparently 20/20 vision however and 20/20 vision was something that Arian had never been able to claim. Cooro Cooro Cooro, I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to tag this - for some reason I thought that I'd already tagged it, btw I should get a tag out for our other rp soon
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Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2014 10:45 pm
What had he done..? He was just stating what he thought was true.. He had gone over in it over and over again, and it was the only conclusion he could come to.. And if it was a fact.. Why did Arian look so hurt.. The voice he spoke in, the slump in his shoulders.. What did it even all mean..? It almost sounded as if he were to cry..
He hadn't meant that.. Nischal would never want anyone to feel that way, but he couldn't make his voice say anything, causing the silence between them stretch further and further.. Until Arian's soft voice broke it..
"Please, don't think that.. Neither of us could have predicted what happened... And don't think that pushing would have helped.. I mean, it might have, but this feeling this.. Whole experience runs far too deep, and I don't think I would have been able to crawl out. Like I said, I made my own hole, I wanted to disappear, to just stop pressing myself into other peoples lives, not when there are so many others who deserve it more than I." The card was placed gently onto the stand beside his bed, and he pushed the blankets off of himself, his hand coming up to press down on his stomach, where the stitches were while he slowly moved his legs onto the floor. He didn't wish to stand, only to simply move closer to Arian, to see if it would be alright..
A soft, struggled breath was taken in and released as the boy tried to gain his bearings again, which still proved to be difficult even as he sat on the bed. But he wasn't going to just stop though.. He had caused Arian to feel this way so it was his duty to stop it. No one deserved to feel that way, to feel useless, no one except himself, because it was true, he was useless.
"How I think of you.. No, Arian, I think you're wonderful! I think you're gentle, and fun to be around. I see you as someone I want to spend my time with, someone I want to be able to get to know better.. Someone I genuinely want to be around. But feeling that way, and deserving to follow my feelings aren't the same.. It's not pity, no. You gave something to someone who just didn't deserve it.. I can't.. I'm sorry, Arian, I can't explain this beyond that.. I can't find the words, everything I say just sound so stupid, so confusing, that it doesn't even make sense to myself anymore. So.. So maybe it's just be best to not waste any more time on me than you already have."
litian It's fine, no worries~ whee
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Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2014 8:55 am
Once again a part of Arian was struck by how different this Nischal seemed to the teen that had bumped into him by chance on the ice rink last December - the self same teen who had then randomly messaged him a few weeks later inviting him on a trip because it had snowed that day. A larger part of him still felt hurt though. Especially at the other teen's talk at not wanting to press himself into other people's lives. "Did you ever consider that other people might want you around?" He couldn't stop himself from asking the question, although he managed to bite back the rest of the words, reminding himself that he hadn't come to yell at Nischal, but rather because the other was injured - badly injured - and because he was worried. "And..." His voice trailed off as the other shifted, sitting up and behind his glasses his eyes widened - most likely almost comically, even though it truly was no laughing matter. "Hey should you really be moving?!" The words were half blurted out, his eyes as worried as his voice. Arian was no medical expert, but given how serious Nischal's injuries were supposed to be and given the fact that he had landed in hospital down to them, moving wasn't something that he thought the other should be doing.
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Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2014 2:57 pm
"You know.. Sometimes I do.. But instead my mind goes 'well... there are other people they'd want more. I'm just one of so many, if i were to vanish, you know, they'd forget about me sooner than later. So what right do I have to even consider being worthy enough to want anyone's time...?' And the more I think about it, the more it's true. Like.. Like after this, after seeing me like this, after going through this encounter... The likelihood of you wanting to see me again isn't going to go much higher. And I accept that."
Nischal looked surprised as well, blinking at the mention that he shouldn't be moving. That was right, wasn't it? There was more to him being here than just... Feeling off.
"Oh.. I suppose not. But it's too late now.. I just didn't want you hurting because of me. It's a terrible, terrible thing to have happen.. Just what kind of person am I, causing you to be upset when you've done nothing but good for me.. It's selfish of me to keep want you to stay any longer. If you'd like to go, i wouldn't stop you. You should go and do something far more cheery than keeping me company.
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Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2014 9:56 pm
The negative comments coming from Nischal was such that for a moment Arian could only stare at the younger teen helplessly... And then he found himself wanting to shake the other - hard. He fought the urge though since he was pretty sure that shaking Nischal would be as counterproductive as yelling at him and felt, well at least hoped that he had managed to hide it passibly well. He knew shaking the other teen would only serve to exacerbate whatever injury (or injuries) that had ended up landing the other in here. "I really, really wish that you'd stop associating actions with me" he said at last. "If I'd wanted to go, don't you think that I'd have already left." He made it a statement rather than a question, not sure he particularly wanted to hear an answer, particularly given the fact that despite mentioning wanting him to stay longer, the other teen seemed to be doing his level best to try and get him to leave. He sighed, his eyes worried "And you should probably be back in bed, but I'm not sure that you moving again is a good idea." After all although he had no idea what effect the younger teen's willy-nilly movements from earlier had had on his injuries, Arian was willing to bet that more movement on top - well at least more movement without some sort of help that was more expert than he could offer was probably not a good idea.
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