Auslief / Rime:The day was hot and Auslief was rather miserable.
And getting fat.
Her heart had broken all over again when she had realized she was carrying his cubs. The lion who'd hurt her, who didn't want her, no matter how hard she tried she would never be rid of him. When it stormed she went to Barth and Dou and yet it wasn't enough anymore. Barth wasn't big enough, he didn't smell right, her dreams cried out for a red-maned giant and without him the nightmares raged on. Nightmares of being alone, of drowning, of being deaf and mute and trying so hard to cry, to have anyone hear her, see her, and touch her, want her. Nothing chased those dreams away.
Even after all that, the reality was just as bad. She would be a mother and she just... Dou and Mama insisted on it, but at this point she wasn't sure if she'd have any heart left to love the lives growing inside of her.
She lay on her side in the shade of a tree, watching the waves roll back and forth on the beach, her eyes half-closed.
Askook / Kook:
Kook had always been a large male, he had also been quiet, more often than not because he was asleep. Others might have mistaken him for slow, lazy, and stupid and that suited him just fine since it was a pretty big shock to them when he lumbered in to rob them blind. It was however true that most of the time the large green lion was content to lay quietly in thought. He'd had a lot to think about lately, there were a lot of younger males now and all of them with eyes on wenches. He liked the ladies himself but he simply had no desire to pursue them, females were too demanding. Besides he had family aplenty, and his love for his family was the only reason he wasn't currently napping.
In the time Rime had been gone he'd actually hauled his butt up and down the pride territory worried about her. It wasn't that he didn't think she could handle herself, it was just that being crew-less wouldn't have sat well with him no matter who had left. Worse, reports to his brother had mentioned her presence with a male and that roused Kook's protective instincts. Now that Rime was back he was even more upset, because she had come back different. She seemed at times both harder and more brittle. He had tried to give her some space, he didn't want her to think he was going to coddle her. Well, he'd given her time and space, and now she was pregnant, and Kook knew how such things came about. He lumbered slowly over to his niece and flopped down in the shade with her a faint grunt escaping him, his tail gently flicking hers in greeting before curling back around to his side.
Auslief / Rime:
"Hello Uncle." Her words came out on a soft sigh. They were still rather low, flat, but that sigh had been enough. This weather was terrible. Maybe she should go lie in a pond for a while. More memories assaulted her and she closed her eyes against the onslaught.
Was he here to bother her? Her father certainly had. When she'd told him she was expecting, he'd raged something fierce, spouting all kinds of threats against the mystery male. Barth and Levi were the only ones who had seen Ha- Kohaku. Thankfully the latter was unable to communicate with anyone beyond his signing and for some reason both of them seemed willing to keep her secret. She had told them to, of course, but... The fact that they both agreed surprised her.
"Something you came to say?"
Askook / Kook:
"Hmmm? What do you expect me to say little dragon?"
He turned his head resting it on his large paws and eyed her for a moment, she wasn't so little anymore of course but then everyone was still relatively small compared to his bulk. Besides it was his name for her, she would always be a fierce little dragon to him. She knew he had come to talk, but he didn't want to rage…not yet. Kook was all about conservation of energy and until they found the male responsible for Rime's state there was no point working up a bloodrage.
Auslief / Rime:
Auslief huffed a bit and shrugged.
"You move with purpose, Uncle. You wouldn't have come by if you didn't have a reason for it." No, everything he did was for a reason. Oddly enough, it was her father who was the impulsive one, at least on occasion. Or, one could easily argue that he wasn't impulsive but rather his mind was just that quick. Where anyone else would see her father act on a seemingly sudden whim, in truth his mind had already worked out the pros, cons, and formed several back-up plans no doubt.
She, on the other hand, seemed to not think things through enough. Damn.
"So?"
Askook / Kook:
He let out a half yawn half laugh and rolled slightly onto his side.
"Imagine how foolish I felt pacing without purpose on the border because my favorite niece had vanished."
He looked over at her and then flicked his tail back over hers, he doubted she wanted to be smothered by a hug.
"You know…I'm sure a lot of the crew think I don't give a damn about anything. I can understand why, I'm not…chatty, no point in it and I've no words to explain most of the time anyway. I was glad when you came back little dragon, I thought we'd never see you again."
He paused for a moment and huffed.
"That being said, you're not really back and I don't like that."
Auslief / Rime:
She'd move closer if it wasn't so hot. A hug from him wouldn't be so bad. They were both not what they seemed to most. He wasn't the stupid, blundering mountain any more than she really was the frigid b***h she tried to display to the world. But it was too hot for hugs and she was fairly certain if she did move into his embrace, she'd just break down again. Would it ever be enough.
"Wish I could fix that, but..." She shrugged again. Her emotions were getting in the way again, dismantling her careful, cultivated speech. "I didn'mean for any of this to happen. I don'... I can't..."
Another sigh and Auslief bit at her lip. How could she explain the empty, hollow feeling he left behind? All the hurt, the grief, how could she really put that into words? Over and over she told herself this wasn't her fault, she hadn't been stupid or foolish, she'd just been used. It could have happened to anyone. She saw her father, he loved with a barely restrained, carefully concealed madness. Having grown up with that, well, who could blame her for getting swept away by the possibility of having that for herself? Even if it hadn't been true, she really thought that a few times there it had been damn close.
Askook / Kook:
"Some things can't be fixed, I'd say you were…pining. Course' I'd only say that to you and only cause I figure it's too hot for you to rip my ear off…." He smirked at her and then rolled closer to her again.
"You know little dragon…if I could never go back in the water again I don't know what living would be for. I can't imagine it you know? Being apart from something I love so much, I'd still have you though and your siblings and parents…my family. It wouldn't be the same though, there would be a hole in me, a part of my soul gone forever. Even if someday I got back to the water and the hole were patched…I'd still remember the feeling and be afraid of leaks."
He glanced at her his face serious now, perhaps more serious than it had ever been.
"Just hope when he does show his face you show him your dragon claws and make sure he never comes back."
Auslief / Rime:
Auslief swallowed, grit her teeth, anything she could do to just listen to his words and let them roll off her back. But about the time he started talking about it not being the same, about the hole, she couldn't hold it back any longer. Uncle Kook, Dou, Mama, they were they only ones who could coax it out of her, the only ones she could cry around.
They were slow, soft tracks down her face rather than deep, wrenching sobs, but if it wasn't just as bad, she didn't know what was. She would never stop aching over this, would she?
"I can't, I jus'... I can't stand... I jus' want this to end. I'd be glad to no' feel anything anymore if I didn' have to feel this way. I hate this an' all I want is for him to come back an' make it all go away." Gods, what was wrong with her?
Askook / Kook:
Kook frowned when he realized she was crying, and then she was talking about wanting that male back and he had to work to keep himself from growling. He didn't bother with threats, if the male did show his face Kook would just kill him. No point wasting his breath, but right now his little dragon, his sweet niece was crying. He moved over and pulled her closer with his massive paws nuzzling her quietly a long moment.
"It's the tide of emotions little dragon, sometimes high and sometimes low…"
He licked her cheek softly and then sighed and slowly loosened his grip not wanting to crush her. He sighed softly and nosed her gently his heart heavy as he felt her pain like a blow.
"I wish I could lie to you, tell you that it'll pass, but you know I can't. Tell me about him…you can't let yourself live in fear of his memory?"
Auslief / Rime:
"I don' fear it, I jus' ache," she replied with a sniff as he held her. No, no, she was right, it was too hot for hugs. Auslief scooted away, flicked her tail a bit and even fanned her face a little with one paw. She glanced away, not sure she wanted to talk about him, to even think too hard about the male she wasn't good enough for.
"Big an' an a*****e an' terrifying, stupid, an' sweet." Just not at the same time. "He'd lose his head in fights. An' not think to take care of his stupid bleedin' self."
Her eyes closed and she tried to keep the tears back. "An' he ordered me around an' told me stories so I didn' think about being worried when I was."
Askook / Kook:
"Sounds like a fishhead, but you've got the cubs though my little dragon, their going to be fierce like their mother…think they'll like me? I'll teach the boys how to tie knots….and take long naps."
He chuckled and flopped over trying to cool off after the fluffy hug, though he couldn't regret it. He tried to glance at her to gauge how she was feeling about the cubs. Bad enough that lout had broken her heart, he'd left her with cubs. What kind of male didn't stick around for family? Then again she obviously hadn't known about the cubs when she'd come back so neither had the male, still. Kook hoped that every cub took after their family, but he knew it wasn't likely, there would be hints of the father, painful reminders for Rime to endure her whole life. He felt the anger making him hot and tried to calm back down.
Auslief / Rime:
The soft cross between a huff and a sniff was the saddest excuse for a laugh in the whole world, but at least it was something.
"He was a fishhead," she replied with a small nod. And a fool and an a*****e and a b*****d and any other foul name she could come up with that insulted his manner and/or intelligence.
She sent a frown at her uncle, her brow scrunching ever so slightly.
"I'll not have you turning my little dragons into laze-abouts like you," she added, so very grateful for the turn in conversation. True, Auslief was nigh on terrified to be having cubs, to have little constant reminders of the male that hadn't wanted her. But then... they were hers. They were her babies and no one could take them away from her. Best she could do, she decided, was to just see her babies and try her damnedest to love them as much as her mama loved her and her brothers and half-siblings.
Askook / Kook:
"Ah come now my fierce little dragon you can't tell me you don't want them to be as charming and tough as your uncle kook?"
He chuckled and then rested his head back on his paws the heat and conversation had relaxed him once more and he felt better now that he had spoken with his niece. She was safe, and despite the part of her that was missing, she would survive. She'd learned a valuable lesson out there, maybe more than one about love and loss and trust. He was equally proud and upset but in the end he understood.
"We'll teach the girls to fight of course…just not where the rest of the crew can get on our tails 'bout it."
He winked at her and then slowly closed his eyes with a sigh. "Naps are good for mothers to be I think…"
Auslief / Rime:
"Charming and tough aren't the same as napping all the time. I'll allow the first two, but only naps in reason." She gave him a good, long look as he settled down a bit more. "And yours aren't in reason."
Auslief moved a bit, settling further into her shade, so that the sun wouldn't sneak up on her as it turned.
"I'll let them all be what they wanna be," she said and sighed. That was part of her problem, she thought. She'd been trying so hard to prove that she, as a female, was good enough to be a crew member that this had happened. If her girls wanted to be crew, if her boys didn't, that was fine. They'd excel at whatever they wanted and she'd never let them feel like they needed to prove themselves.
"I'd argue, but I'm too hot and drowsy to care," she mumbled in return, her own eyes slipping shut. Perhaps just a little nap. One where she could forget all of this, at least for a little bit.
Askook / Kook:
He chuckled softly and grunted his agreement, he did like to take his long naps, especially along the coast. He was just lucky the tide had never come in high and drowned him in his sleep. The way she talked abut her cubs being what they wanted to be made him smile, wise little dragon. He slowly dozed off beside her feeling the comfort of family and hoping Rime would dream pleasant dreams to ease her heartache.