The titantron flickered to life, and for some bizzare reason, began showing clips from local news channels from around the United States.

"Fox 10 Phoenix reporting on an assault on a senior citizen in broad daylight amazingly enough. A hooded assailent who has yet to be identified used what was reported to be improvised brass knuckles to attack an elderly man in the middle of an autograph signing in central Phoenix, Arizona. The victim is 70 year old Eldridge Wayne Coleman, otherwise known as "Superstar" Billy Graham, a former Professional Wrestler from the 70's and early 80's. Mr. Coleman has been hospitalized with a broken jaw as well as injuries to both knees, and internal bleeding. Authorities are unaware as to a motive or possible suspects to the seemingly random attack, and have put out a Two Hundred dollar reward for any information leading to an arrest."

"KRTC-13 News Houston here reporting on a home invasion, assault, and arson. At 2:30 pm this afternoon, an unknown young male invaded the "Death Valley Ranch" here in the greater Houston area where he broke in to the home, and assaulted two of its occupants. One was 49 year old Mark Calaway, otherwise known as WWE's 'Undertaker', and the other was his son, 21 year old Gunner Calaway. Both men were rendered unconscious and dragged out of their home, and awoke to the site of their home set on fire right in front of them, burning to the ground. Fire medical and police arrived minutes later, both men were fine, but Mark was brought to the hospital for a re-injured hip, though it is not thought to be major as he is now retired. Fire crews were not able to save the house but were able to contain the fire so not to damage the surrounding properties, including their barn. Police currently have no leads on who the assailant was, and are baffled as to how he was able to avoid all of the security cameras on the properties. Authorities are offering a reward for any information leading to an arrest."

"WTSP Tampa News reporting on a suspicious incident that occured recently. Female professional wrestler Gail Kim was found on the side of a bridge near midnight a few nights ago. She was found when local law enforcement received several calls regarding a naked woman trying to flag down cars on the road, but no one stopped. Gail reported to have no memory of how she ended up at the strange location, or how she lost her clothes. She reported no injuries to law enforcement. The bridge was ironically the site of the infamous wrestling moment when fellow female wrestler Athena Augustine, known as "Phoenixfire" was drugged, raped, and thrown off of the bridge by her now husband, "The Heartbreaker," Evan "Mike" Landry and his then lover, Mardy Wilkes-Boothe, in what some dispute was a "storyline". Authorities have no suspects at this time but are investigating all possible leads."

"KOMO News 4 Seattle reporting tonight on an tragic situation that occured just hours ago here at WrestleVasion in Downtown Seattle. Japanese female professional wrestling legend, Haruka Matsuo, suffered a broken neck at what was supposed to be an autograph signing. Haruka was signing autographs for her fans, and her handlers announced that there was a surprise raffle that was going to occur. For five dollars a ticket, fans could buy a chance to have a grappling exhibition with the technical legend. The contest was won by current professional wrestler, Matthias Augustine-Landry, son of Mike Landry and Athena Augustine. He was granted a five minute exhibition with Haruka, both signing injury waivers prior to this. During the contest, Haruka was stuck in a submission known as "No Man's Land," and did not tap out for whatever reason, and resulted in a broken neck. Haruka was taken by ambulance to a local hospital, where doctors discovered that Haruka would be paralyzed from the neck down. Fans are raising funds for Haruka's medical bills, however Matthias could not be reached for comment."