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 Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 4:51 pm
I found this in the ED, and I had to share it.JTHMlover The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: "First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "...it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having an affair with her, then #2 above cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze over." THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
Do you think it's funny when people treat the illogical logically? Have you ever come up with a humorous scientific way to explain the "supernatural"? And why is it so hard for a college freshman to get laid? sad
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Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 9:36 pm
That's fantastic.
I think I might print that out and leave a few copies around my Physics classroom, just to amuse my uber-Christian teacher. He gave one of my militantly atheist friends a book about Jesus. I doubt it's been returned. mrgreen
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Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:40 am
I'm going to thumbtack it to walls around the school. heart
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Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 12:01 pm
That's hilarious!
Glad the author got an A.
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Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 6:54 pm
Yeah I will print it out to and leave a copy in my Language-Arts teachers classroom because she referred to Christians as "We" which she is only lucky that I did not sue her a** because I am in a public school. rofl
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Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 2:38 pm
That is very enlighting. A+ to the kid! He deserved it!
As for why it is hard for collage freshman to get laid, I don't know.
That is shrine worthy material right there Dathu!
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Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 4:07 pm
that is such a beautiful paper i love it! I am so gonna print that out... I do believe that it is endoothermic or whatever one the author thought it was because that is just so damn persuasive.
and the reason you or any freshman college male cant be laid is because college freshman girls want older more experianced guys or want to focas on their studies. and lets face it anything older than a freshman girl doesn't want to date a freshman guy. One approach to the problem is to go back to highschool and pick up a few chicks. theres enough hoes in my highschool to keep him occupied... of course many of their parents would not aprove. cause thats... just creapy. poor you gonk
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Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 7:25 pm
E_Night that is such a beautiful paper i love it! I am so gonna print that out... I do believe that it is endoothermic or whatever one the author thought it was because that is just so damn persuasive. and the reason you or any freshman college male cant be laid is because college freshman girls want older more experianced guys or want to focas on their studies. and lets face it anything older than a freshman girl doesn't want to date a freshman guy. One approach to the problem is to go back to highschool and pick up a few chicks. theres enough hoes in my highschool to keep him occupied... of course many of their parents would not aprove. cause thats... just creapy. poor you gonk
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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 11:35 am
blaugh I think that is great, and well it makes perfect sense. Anyway, I haven't come up with something funny and scientific to explain the supernatural. Being that I believe completely in the supernatural I just explain it how I feel, and how I believe. And....I don't know why it would be hard for a college freshman to get laid, maybe because they are new and don't have a reputation at the school or they are just unattractive. Either way I already know I won't be getting laid when I'm a freshman....but I won't explain that.
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Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 2:34 pm
Hah! That's great. 3nodding I'm a freshman in college. crying
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Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 3:29 pm
MinaTheRomanticNeko Hah! That's great. 3nodding I'm a freshman in college. crying
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Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2006 2:53 am
That just made my day. 3nodding
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Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2006 11:33 am
That my friend is a priceless gem.
Keep it forever. I lol'd so hard I nearly burst.
I have to say, I can't recall ever trying to explain something "supernatural"/illogical scientifically although one of my friends had a bit of a ball with what he saw as an interesting change of heart in the Abrahamic God between the OT and the NT.
He pointed out how unusual it was that the attitude of the Abrahamic God was so different in the Old Testament as compared to the New Testament.
Such a personality change could be construed as a case of schizophernia or maybe drug use, but he said he'd been thinking about it and had an idea.
Here it is:
"So this young kid buys a chemistry set from the store. He's young, but quite the genius. Smart and creative, but a bit of a brat like many young children.
He takes this chemistry set and grows the universe (our universe) in it.
Obviously overjoyed that he made a universe he communicates with the peoples that eventually develop in it (my friend laughed off the Genesis accounts, "What kind of idiot God, would micromanage the universe and ignore the benefits of automated evolution?" he said, "A stupid God, and unintelligent designer, that's who.")
But they don't act the way he wants them to act, and being a jerky little brat, he does all sorts of terrible things to them. Sends plagues and floods, destroys cities, and tells loyalists to kill anybody that doesn't listen.
Eventually he gets bored and leaves it in his closet.
Years pass, he goes to college, grows up. He matures and becomes a nice person, and still quite the genius.
One day, as he's packing his stuff away to move out of his parents home into his own, he comes across the chemistry set.
He realizes what a little s**t he had been and feels awful for it.
So he tells a little dude that he's his father (ya know to give him credibility) and instructs him to apologize for all the s**t he pulled and give a new message: "Be peaceful, loving hippies." And then he promptly moves away to persue his career in micro-universal building."
(All of us are cracking up at this point)
"Unfortunately, the guy, while older and nicer, and is acedemically a genius, is a little lacking in the common sense.
Having been gone so long and having started so much bad s**t kind of screwed up the world, and some dude spreading the hippy message can't fix that.
In fact, he got nailed to a piece of wood for heresy and people made a cult around him that is causing s**t for everyone right now.
In conclusion, God started out as a bratty wanker, became an nice moron, and finally left us for dead in his parent's closet."
At which point i said to him, "So you're an athiest then?"
And he was like, "No, I believe God's out there somewhere, but praying is kind of useless since all you'll get is the busy signal."
^_^
It was an amusing day.
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Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2006 6:13 pm
Hahahaha. Thats absolutely brilliant. I bet the teacher was quite amused with that answer, as are the rest of us.
And uh... I dunno whats wrong with you, but last year, the guy in the room next to me got laid a lot. I, unfortunately, can vouche for it.
And Fires... that was priceless as well. I ahve to say, this entire thread is brilliant.
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Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2006 8:19 pm
PickleBoy Hahahaha. Thats absolutely brilliant. I bet the teacher was quite amused with that answer, as are the rest of us. And uh... I dunno whats wrong with you, but last year, the guy in the room next to me got laid a lot. I, unfortunately, can vouche for it. And Fires... that was priceless as well. I ahve to say, this entire thread is brilliant. hahah! loser you dont have a tv so you dont have to listen!. OH HOW I LOVE LIVING ABOVE MY PARENTS BEDROOM... not really... >,< i hate air vents now. but *twitch* anywho i agree this is a better thread than many other threads. Were talking about middle eastern religions right now and its quite interesting watching the other students squirm while hearing about a religion different from their own. I only know of 2 atheists in our class so it will be a little interesting when we start having discussions about religion. i dont expect much. but i'll deffinatly drink more coffee tomorrow mornig so i can be more attentive and not falling asleep. stare
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