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*OOC Note: He only THINKS he sees the dead. He doesn't really.



The stallion was in his usual grove - he rarely left it. He had become even more reclusive and solitary since the disappearance of his mate, Ananke. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen another living soquili, though the dead hung around him constantly. He glanced at one such spirit floating nearby, but looked away quickly. He didn't even want the company of the silent spirits around him. He was receding into himself more and more, lost in his own thoughts.

He wandered to his gazing pool, a place he frequented often. He imagined the image of his daughter, Nita, who had once come to him at this very spot to seek his advice. How very far away that conversation seemed. He blew lightly into the pool, obscuring the reflection of his own face, distorting it until he couldn't recognize it anymore. He closed his eyes, sighing deeply.

His eyes flashed open immediately, his heart caught in his throat. He would never forget that voice in all of his life. It was the voice of comfort, the voice that had chased his demons as a foal. A voice that had drifted away, left him alone and cold on a dark night so long ago. He was frozen in place, not daring to move, to breathe in case it was just a lie,a cruel joke played on him by the vengeful spirits silently laughing all around him. His breath found him in short gasps, surprise and elation strangling his voice.

He turned slowly, his eyes wide for fear of blinking away the vision that greeted him. It was her. In the flesh, solid and alive and he let out a sigh of relief, his fears of seeing her as a spirit dispelled before given substance. For a moment all he could do was stare, dumbfounded. He had wished and prayed for this very reunion, but he never dreamed that it would occur.

He shook, emotions flooding him in waves, tearing away any semblance of control. "Mother," he whispered, then found his voice more solidly. "You've returned... Thank the Spirits!" He rushed forward and nuzzled into her.

His face was creased in a smile as she drew back from him and he beamed with pride and happiness as she looked him over. He did likewise to her, drinking in the image of her, just the way he remembered her. His smile faded as she broke the silence and said exactly what he had felt all that time. She should NEVER have left. He looked away from her, not ready to address those feelings just yet.

Instead he deflected the conversation with "I have children of my own now." He couldn't keep the edge of sadness from his voice. He never saw his children anymore. He was abandoned by his parents, his mate, and now his children. It seemed he was doomed to loneliness. His pawed at the ground uncomfortably.

His smile was small, but genuine at her declaration. He knew it would take time for her to become part of all their lives again, but he was thankful she wanted to try. There was still anger inside of him for her leaving, but he also knew in time they would work that out. He understood on an intellectual level why she'd left and no small part of him had hoped she'd succeed in tracking down his father. He never met the stallion and somewhere deep inside him he longed for that connection. He was disappointed that his mother had returned empty-handed, particularly after so long. He wished silently that she had given up the search much sooner and come home - or waited until he was an adult and old enough to track his father down WITH her. Alas, they couldn't change what's already happened.

"My kids don't visit much. They're off living their own lives. We can perhaps track Nita or Xeria down. I believe Xeria may still be in the general area, though Nita had left on some grand adventure with her mate."

"Well, I assume it was her mate. The way she spoke of him... if he wasn't before they left they certainly must be by now." He frowned slightly, saddened at how little he knew of his offspring. Was he no better than his own mother who had left him? He glanced sharply at her. She knew nothing of him either. Was this the curse of his family? He frowned, taking an unconscious step back from the mare that had spawned him. "Why are you here," he said it more sharply than he'd intended. Perhaps there was more lingering bitterness than he thought. He had first been joyed to see her, but now he had a gripping feeling around his heart.

His heart was slowly hardening against her as she growled at him. Make something of himself? He certainly hadn't done anything of the sort. His mate had disappeared, probably bored of him. His children were all gone and rarely visited. He almost never left his grove. He was nothing to anyone, little more than a specter of himself. Perhaps it was his own shame that caused his anger to boil up inside him. "Who are you to demand to know what I've made of myself? I don't need to impress you. What have YOU done with all the years you pretended you weren't a mother?"

"Make things right?!" His voice was rising higher than he ever thought possible. "How could you possibly think you could make things right? You LEFT me. What kind of mother does that?" He was shaking with anger and pain. He had had to fend for himself for so long, and even after he'd grown up and become a parent he found himself alone once more. He was so alone and he feared a lot of it was the fault of his mother's abandonment.