═════════ ♛ Day 1 Thoughts ♛ ═════════
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This is supposed to be a dream, right?
The last thing I can remember is going to bed and then having a nightmare. That nightmare, why would I even bring it up again? If I close my eye I can see it play all over again. My skin crawls, my heart beat accelerates, and I can feel my palms sweat.
"A sinking feeling swirled within Setana’s stomach as he stood in the room of shadows that was slowly being overtaken by swirls of white. White. He didn’t have a good association with the color. To him it was too bright and misleading. It hurt his eyes and made him feel uneasy. Some saw the color of pure, but the hound knew better. Black; that was a shade that brought him comfort for some reason. It made him feel welcomed. It made him want to sleep. It allowed him to have a sense of peace while attempting to dig around his mind for things that weren’t there.
“You may never know, you know…”
He thought about that constantly. To never know who he was; why he was? Setana had come close to being okay with that, but the idea still plagued him.
“Do you intend to still chase yourself like a cat chases a mouse?”
“Do you intend to allow it to eat you like a snake eating its tail?”
Maybe he was doomed to chase what never was, what never will be.
His heartbeat quickened as the comforting shadows continued to be engulfed by the walls of white. Should he try to run? Should he cower like a pup?
It was too late for action. Before he knew it the floor turned to static and he began to sink… "
The only good thing about this strange dream is that I may not be the only one stuck here. I am unsure if it is just my imagination trying to keep my company, or if the other characters are truly real, but others seem just a lost and annoyed as I am. Hopefully I can take the time to sit down and talk to someone else to see if they are stuck in the same situation as I am. That is easier said than done though. I know I’m not the friendliest of people.
I actually did meet someone today, and all we did was fight and exchange words. She reminds me of Char, which is strangely sort of comforting. I hate to admit it, but I miss the girl. I really hate admitting that. I miss our loud encounters. The boiling anger clashing with the smirks and hints of amusement in our voices, it works for us.
I also miss Verusha, though I am sure that dog of hurts doesn’t miss me. Being called a pup, messing that that fire tempered dog and nibbling on those dog treats, yeah, I miss it all. She was the first to accept me. She was the first to welcome me and make me feel normal. It meant everything to me.
As stupid as it sounds I question these memories and if they are even mind.
That encounter from the garden still haunts me.
Who am I?
Am I me, or am I just an illusion? The guy from the mirror, the other me, he claims to be the “real” me while I am just a dream. I am not real. I am not me.
My gut tells me that is a lie. I AM ME, but his voice, the look on his face, they are burned into me.
This is only the first day.
There is still so much more to explore and uncover.
I can already feel a headache forming.
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