Hiya, Shortcutt! This isn't an official shop crit or anything, but I saw you were asking for feedback and thought I might offer some. If any of this rings false to you, feel free to tell me that I'm full of s**t. Your profile is off to a really good start, so I'm going to go through and ask questions to help you deepen it and kick it up a notch - just because I'm not complimenting you effusively doesn't mean it's not good, it's just not my style.
Generally-What's Horatio's major at DCU?
Hobbies-I like both of these - they give me a really good idea of what kind of person Horatio is, without even getting to the rest of his profile yet. I have one big question about both hobbies, and it's whether there's a social aspect to either of these. Where does he get his wine from? Does he host tastings, or does he attend them? As for the bath salts, again, where does he get them? Does he go to swap meets and farmers' markets? Does he order them online? Does he recommend different salts to friends who need to relax? Thinking just a bit about how and when he participates in both these hobbies might open up RP opportunities down the line.
You have room to add another hobby if you want, but it's not essential.
Virtues- Astute- How good is Horatio at applying the answers he comes up with? Does he think of multiple solutions and then easily select which one to go with, or does he come up with the multiple answers and then have a harder time narrowing them down? Are there any specific places in his life that this helps him in? Is this trait mostly social, academic, both?
Spirited- In what way does Horatio liven up a room? Does he have dazzling good humor? Is he a stunning conversationalist who makes everyone feel like they're the center of attention? There are a lot of different ways to be energetic - what is the specific nature of Horatio's liveliness?
Flexible- Does this mean that he handles setbacks well? What about unforeseen disasters? Does this trait only apply when he's starting from a neutral emotional place, or is he unflappable in the face of hardship as well?
Flaws-Superficial- Is Horatio obvious about not caring about people (which might conflict with spirited, depending on what your intent there is)? Does he come off as a snob? Or does he try to hide the fact that he doesn't care, until it slips out because he forgot something really important, etc.? Also, I don't really understand what you're going for with "and he doesn't really care to take notice of his own..." Horatio's hobbies are both very self-indulgent, so he does obviously care about his own happiness. Who
does Horatio care about, if he doesn't care about himself
or anyone else?
Impetuous- Can you give specific situations where this may come into play? Is he the kind of person who has a problem with making impulse buys? Does he sign up for things he doesn't really want to do upon further reflection? Does he just guess randomly on multiple choice tests? Does he pick the worst possible route for a road trip and then insist on sticking with it once he hits traffic, or try to run yellow lights that he really shouldn't? This is a good start for a trait, but you might want to think more about how it really impacts his day-to-day life.
Restless- You say he gets a little "psycho" when he has nothing to do - how so? Is he fidgety? Is he destructive, towards himself, or others, or inanimate objects or animals? Does he throw tantrums and try to make himself the center of attention? Again, it's a good start, you might just want to think more about what makes Horatio's behavior specific and unique.
Physical description-What color is Horatio's skin?
It won't show up in art, but what's his body type like? Is he tall or short? Thin or fat? Muscular or frail? Something in between?
I love the little details in his fashion sense, like how he likes scarves that smell like himself!
Negaverse-Looks good! I don't think you need to cheese it up with a salt shaker or anything in his first stage. It's clear enough where the progression comes from without that.
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