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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2014 9:33 pm
The idea had been stewing in her head for a while. That there might have been a possibility, a chance to get better, to streamline the process, to contribute more than her usual paper pushing, coffee brewing, doughnut offering ways. She'd written it all up, formal, manila envelope, sealed until it was in the right hands. Those hands being in some of the most grossest ones. Yet, as far as Solia was considered, Mark as greasy as he might be, was 200% safer than Caelius. He didn't throw people through windows for fun. He just smelt bad and drank and abused computers. Mark was also easy to bribe. Solia's box of Avenger cookies complete with a side spiderman in hand, she took her folder of secret ideas to the dreaded door and with all the courage she had- "MARK I HAVE A NEED FOR YOUR JEDI POWERS." Jedi was his trigger word wasn't it?
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Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2014 6:55 pm
Mark was 2000% more dangerous than Caelius. The difference was that Mark was something like a slow burn; he was fine in small doses, mostly fine, fine if one didn't participate in anything involving the word important or mission, but it was also Mark.
The door to his Lair was open, the usual junk pile all around him. He slowly turned around on his swivel chair, trying to pose intimidatingly upon hearing the word Jedi. Just before the chair swung, bumped, and halfway swung back around again, Mark changed his pose so he was more intimidating but also cool and suave and maybe really amazing instead of just intimidating.
"Yes," said the Death Assistant, Solia having passed step one of How To Rub Mark's Ego, "the Jedi Master is speaking. I'll have you know I don't come cheap, or free. Or cheap."
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2014 10:47 pm
Solia stared at his chair swivel, unimpressed. A four of 10. At best. He'd get a mental gold star for trying though. Still, he was her boss, and you didn't make a face at your boss. So mostly, Solia just stared at him for a few seconds, wondering how he'd even become the assistant in the first place. "Er- yes. I have come prepared. A full set of Avengers, complete with one side spiderman. You could say he is a bit, loki, but he counts." She liked the pun, sue her. "But today Jedi Master, I have less a need for a favor more a need for formality. There is an opportunity I feel present within death's current operations and I'd like to get your approval so I might move forward with them." She clutched the folder in her other hand. "Might you be willing to at the least, consider looking it over?" Israfel was telling her she'd gotten too technical. Her talk of the magic things was better. Magic was always better.
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 3:41 am
Mark groaned at the pun and buried his head on the table. "Just give me thing." He raised his arm half in defeat.
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 2:47 pm
Solia handed him the folder, utterly please with herself. Sure, Mark would have to do work, but his work would let her (hopefully) do her work and then more work would get done and then... Magic would happen. Metaphorical magic anyway, (runics were actual science or something). "In what time frame should I expect a reply?" She was grinning. Solia's hands itched to just start but, she had to get approval, had to do whatever it took. "If you can get me a reply sooner I'll get more cookies!" Even if she was jumping the gun a bit.
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 9:40 pm
Mark opened the document, flipped the first page over, and then closed it again. "Uhhhhh can you summarize?"
He looked sadly pathetic.
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2014 10:37 pm
Solia's turn to groan. "Okay. Sparknotes." A deep breath and- "I want to run an investigation of how emotional residue lingers in weapons and can be triggered with certain objects or situations. Using this information, see if it might aid in the process of locating weaponization candidates, drawing on emotional instances and strong feelings to find good matches for our system." She stood, box of cookies still in hand. "Basically, let me talk to weapons and run a few tests in golems halloween side. If all goes well, we'll have located more weapon candidates. If not, we'll still have learned information on the weapons themselves for their future wielders." Because hunters died. Weapons didn't. Not often anyway.
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Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2014 12:19 am
Mark still didn't get it. "You want to run tests on weapons in Halloween?" He scratched his head. Dandruff generously fell onto the table. "Like are you talking in future tense or are we talking like you're-sort-of-crazy tense?"
A pause. "Just so you know", the Death assistant suggested in a loud stage whisper, "Weapons can't talk. I wasn't like, sure if you were aware of that or something."
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2014 10:39 pm
Solia sighed. "No like- I talk to weapons while here, when they're in the w-type golems. After that I go to halloween to run a few tests using an H-type." She frowned. "Can't you just like, take the cookies and say okay and if anything bad happens say you warned me or something?"
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 12:38 am
Mark gave her a long, long look, and then slowly bit into the cookie, tentatively at the edges. He didn't stop looking at her. When he was pretty sure he wasn't going to get food poisoned, he took the rest of the offering and squirreled it away into one of his many compartments, on top of a collection of Busty Asian Beauties.
"Okay," he began dubiously, taking out an equally dubious stamp to stamp Solia's form as Official Jedi Business, "but if anyone asks, you never had this conversation with me."
Jedi hand wave.
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 9:59 am
She pinched the bridge of her nose while he nibbled at the corners. That was one, not how you ate a cookies properly. Two, why would she kill you Mark, there were more important things to deal with like how she was going to convince a bunch of hunters to have interviews with her and how to get them to be willing enough to have their weapons sharing information that some might have considered private or intimate. Solia had also more incentive for killing others before she killed Mark.
Mark was at worst, smelly. He was at best, smelly and good at just not giving a s**t enough to approve things without bothering to question too much about just what he was approving.
Solia figured as far as things went for her purposes, it would work itself out. Besides, if anyone ended up dead, it would be her.
Grinning with Mark's stamp of approval, Solia gave him a salute before shrugging. "Of course sir. I mean, the cookies were an accident. I just left them out, I never watched them for who'd take them- plus why would I be here anyway? It smells like stale beer and potato chips." She did wave good bye.
"See you around jedi master! If anyone asks I got the stamp at disneyland."
It seemed fair enough. It was probably where Mark got the stamp to use anyway.
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