WC: 1,777
They shared stories and it was so much easier to talk to than Tasnim or the others. He was sweet and generous with him going off and hunting for her. Instead, when he left- she didn’t disappear. She stayed and when he came back with what they really looked like, she laughed with him. When he started cutting them up, the day had already gone by and the cold was setting in.
”Do you have kids?”
”No.”
”Out of all the rotten males, your genes would probably be much better passing down than most.”
”You think so?”
”…..I know so. Trust me, I don’t just compliment any ol’ lion- …thing.”
”Leopon. And I should take that as a heavy compliment then.”
”Do you at least have someone in mind? Even in your pride back home?”
He shook his head and got sad, his face changed to be suitable unsettled face, one she hadn’t seen him in yet. ”No.”
Her ears, lowered as she moved closer to him. ”Did I say something wrong? I mean… you’re a great leopon. I’m sure many would be your wife.
”No not that…I’m sure I would find someone somewhere.”
”Then…. What is it?”
I can’t have cubs.”
”Huh? How is that? You just don’t want them? Or-“
He looked to her. Saddened, and the feeling transpired to Chini, which, really hadn’t happened before.
All thanks to Tasnim, she was encountered with individuals that needed consoling, or even just an ear. He didn’t look like he’d need it, He was the one who saved her!
”Hybrids usually are not able to have cubs. I was hopeful with one of the females I had found along my journey. We stayed together for a short time and all she wanted- with me were cubs. We tried- and tried but I found out I could not… and she left me for it.”
”I’m…so sorry….” Her voice lowered significantly as she placed a soft paw on top of his rather large sized one. Almost the size of her head. Never normally feeling bad or even had the words to console them. He- was a different story. It began to get cold as the time passed and she shivered.
”Cold?”
”A little…”
Without a second word, while cutting the meat, he sat closer to her and covered her with his tail. At least around the parts where he could reach.
”Woah…. “
”It may be scorching day weather, but in the night, it will get as cold as to freeze over this spring. Maybe you should drink some water before that happens.”
”After the meal.”
He turned to her, smiled and nodded.
She watched him as he continued to cut, a silence over them as he was about to finish, then he distributed only to her.
”Aren’t you hungry?”
”No, I ate already- yesterday.”
”…Oh…”
”It’s fine. I’m a big boy, when I eat- I hunt for days and eat a bulk together. I’ve been through the forests too and had some of their unique creatures. Fascinatingly delicious.”
”Yea I guess.” As she started eating, about to finish she stopped and looked at him. ”I’m not carrying cubs.”
”Hm?” He looked to her, his face gentle.
”Someone told me that in the future I would have cubs. I just don’t know by who. But I’m not carrying them now. It’s funny, ever since I met her she told me I would have a purpose. Being a mother- is more than enough purpose she said. Til I have those cubs, I just didn’t feel like I had any. But then I found a cheetah- crying over her cubs that she had given up and abandoned.”
”A mother is not simply a mother because she births cubs- a mother is the one who cares for them.”
”You think I would care for them?”
”Even if you didn’t, I would have still cared for you. But something in me just sees that you would be a good mother. Small. But good mother.”
”Thanks~” She said sarcastically as she leaned up against him. Nudging in to his warmth on his size, he was massive compared to her. ”Like I was saying, I … kinda lacked purpose… but then I keep meeting others that even if I don’t feel like I had a purpose, I felt like. Good. I don’t always know what to do but like… I was there. The cheetah that gave up her cubs was devastated. Crying and screaming for them back, even tried fighting hyenas if they had been the ones who had taken her cubs. But she thanked me.”
”Because you were there.”
Chini paused. ”Yea… I guess.”
”You know how I said I granted wishes.”
”Yea.”’
”Sometimes those wishes are just for someone to be there. My… lady friend before simply wanted to be loved, unconditionally, and I knew she didn’t love me- but she needed- wanted that love. But the kind of love she sought for could not be given to her by a male. But by a cub of her own. She, of course didn’t know that and I loved her unconditionally, but I knew she didn’t love me. She needed a cub- that was her real wish.” He paused and collected himself, showing that it was hard- oh so hard talking about it. ”I tried to give her cubs, give her what she wanted, and perhaps she would want me to care for them with her. But, when I tried to speak to her about cubs, and how I told her maybe she should find someone who could give her some. She hated the idea- confused with her own rage and who to direct it to, she thought I didn’t love her- thought that it was not unconditional because she had been looking for love from a male all her life. She thought that was what she was missing. What gave her purpose was loving a male, and I saw through that. But she didn’t listen. All her life, males mistreated her- abandoned her and hurt her. Physically, mentally- you name it. I remember her once saying…” And as he spoke, she could see his eyes water.
’I’m really good at disappearing. If I am ever backed in to a corner, scared- or feel threatened. I won’t hesitate to disappear. You’ll never see me again. Even the guards of my prides couldn’t find me.’
”She said that to me when we first met. First started talking, and I gave her that. But then showed her the world and how beautiful it could be. I would show her reckless things that my brothers and I would do. Some of my friends, partied with monkies and jumped from cliffs. But when I spoke to her about me not being able to give her what she wanted- what she REALLY wanted… she just up and left. Like she said she would.”
It was a terrible story. One, heartbreaking story she never thought she would hear from someone so kind as him. So sweet and kind, she couldn’t image what it felt like to be left like that. But, in turn, she knew how the other girl was. She mirrored the same feeling, said the same things but now she saw what the flip side to that was. A male heartbroken over something that she had done in the past, but by another. ”I’m so sorry.”
”No it is not for you to be sorry, no. You were not her- I feel sorry for her. I wish I could have granted her what she wanted. You know?”
”….Sometimes… you just can’t.”
”But when you can… it is the most gratifying feeling you could ever have.”
”…Well I know you have helped me. How can I help you.”
”You have already.”
”Huh? How?” She said with a slight surprise and attitude.
”Just by your company… just by being here. You have helped out. I haven’t spoken about me not being able to have cubs. Ever. My pride doesn’t know about it... I am hoping that maybe I could adopt one two before I go back so I don’t shame my family.”
”It’s a shame if you aren’t able to have cubs!?” Again, well she could totally see that since he couldn’t pass on his genes, but honestly he would have made an amazing father. ”Well.. I mean … maybe you can ask someone to have cubs for you. You know, I mean. If I see you again, I would gladly help with that.”
”No no, you don’t have to. I wouldn’t want to trouble you. Especially since you fainted and all. How about I just get you out of the heated sands- well. More like cold sands now, then we will talk about it. Besides, letting go of your own blood is a hard decision, you should definitely think that through.”
Chini looked at him, sat up and extended her paws to his face. ”I think you would make a great father. If that means giving up my cubs, from me especially because I don’t know a thing about cubs, to be able to give you a chance. I would do that in a heart beat.”
His cheeks reddened, he was surprised she would even touch him, as she didn’t seem like the physical type at all. Then he pulled his face away. ”It’s dark now, sleep. Rest. Think about these things to come another time. For now. A goodnight’s rest would do you well for the journey tomorrow. It will take a while to get out of these lands. Meaning a lot of energy and dedication.”
Slowly she let go, as he turned his face… She didn’t know what to do now, she was serious about giving her cubs away if it meant having him father them but she probably couldn’t go back to his pride and they would see that they were cheetahs. All these things started to fill her mind, and she sighed. She couldn’t help him. She huffed, and growled and took a side step away from where he was and laid down. Coiled up in a ball to sleep.
What she didn’t know, was when she did, and she did fall in to the land of sleep. When he started to see her shiver, he put a leaf covering over her and coiled his large body around her to provide her with warmth until the shaking stopped but he couldn’t bring himself to move away. So they stayed like that, cuddled up for the whole night…
And it was the best sleep she had ever gotten… but something she would never admit to.
