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 Posted: Tue Feb 25, 2014 8:24 am
“So how are you doing?”
There was a public park downtown that Ganymede was familiar with, having utilized it's trailed before during the times in her life when running had seemed like the best escape. Tonight those same paths seemed like the perfect place for a little company during her night-time patrol, quiet enough at this time in the evening for two Senshi to talk at their leisure, but close enough to areas of the city that might need protecting in the event that either of them sensed a youma or another presence nearby.
Ganymede had not previously had the chance to become well acquainted with Callisto when the Jovian Court was first formed. She remembered Callisto's awakening, remembered seeing her at Jovian meetings, remembered feeling sorry for her, being so young and caught in the middle of a strange war, but they'd not been able to interact much beyond that. Ganymede felt guiltier for it, for not being a better teammate, for not offering the sort of support Callisto might have needed back then.
She didn't know if that would change, or if it was too late for it now, but with Callisto back in town Ganymede felt the need to give it a try this time around.
“Not too overwhelmed, are you?” she said. “This is probably as good a time as any to try and make a come-back. It's been quiet since that eclipse in October. Gives you time to get back on your feet again.”
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Posted: Tue Feb 25, 2014 11:32 pm
"How am I doing?" Callisto echoed, expression uncertain. How was she doing? If she was doing badly, was she supposed to be honest about it? Would it make Ganymede upset with her? What if she lied? Wouldn't that be worse? And if she was doing well, which... she kind of was, since she wasn't hurt and she was out here instead of curled up hiding in her room. (But oh, how she wanted to be. It wasn't safe out here!) But - but - was she supposed to be honest about that? Did she need to play it up somehow? Make it sound better than it was? The result of this mental deliberation was that Callisto stared blankly at Ganymede for several moments, no doubt (in her later reflections) looking like something of an imbecile in the eyes of the older senshi. "Um... I'm okay," she said slowly. "It's... weird, being back in all of... of this," Callisto said, waving one hand slightly to indicate herself and Ganymede. "I was gone for a long time, it... almost seemed like a dream." A bad dream, with one or two good parts (Tomlin came to mind. She still worried about the guardian cat.) "But... I'm here now, so... there's not much to it but to go ahead. Right?" She hoped she was right. There wasn't much she could do if her guesses were wildly off-base, somehow. "I... heard a little about the eclipse," the younger added, gray eyes flicking up to the moon in the sky for just a moment, as if to reassure herself that it was still there. "It was bad, then?" And if it had been quiet ever since, didn't that mean they were due for some other kind of disaster soon? ...Probably.
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Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 2:36 pm
“Mmm, I don't know if I would say it was bad,” Ganymede said, struggling to find an adequate way to describe the most recent event. “There were parts of it that weren't too great, but there've been worse things, I think.”
It was the best way she knew to explain it. People had been hurt, of course (she'd been hurt herself), and it was very likely that someone somewhere had died in the process (that was always in the realm of possibility, wasn't it?), but compared to past events the damage had been fairly minimal in her opinion. She'd felt confident enough during the battle, and she based its severity on that.
The times she didn't feel confident, the times she didn't know if any of them would make it out alive—those were always worse.
“The Surrounding was bad. Elysion was terrible. But some woman rising up out of a lake and sending her clones out to cause trouble? It was intense, but... nothing we haven't handled before. Kinda like the first battle I ever saw, really, before I even awakened.”
She smiled at Callisto even if the memories currently flitting through her brain weren't the sort to smile over. “There's not really any of this that's easy, but you get... used to it,” she said, and sounded a bit regretful. “You just have to find your feet. Figure out how much you can handle. Know when to ask for help. We're all here to help you, you know, so you can take your time settling back in.”
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Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 10:57 pm
"I... think I can understand that," Callisto ventured hesitantly. She knew some things about what had happened in Destiny City over the past several years, and was only thankful that more of it hadn't involved her (or worse, Shep). Still, that only meant that worse could still be out there, and just because it hadn't happened yet didn't mean it wouldn't. No, with how things tended to work out around her, it was pretty likely that things would end up worse than any of the other incidents Ganymede was referring to. It was just a question of when things would turn sour - when, not if. Because this was a war, and with wars... it was always when. Callisto was more than well-read enough to know that. Which, added all up together, meant that she needed to do everything she could to try and be ready for it, so she wouldn't be helpless when that time came. So she wouldn't be a burden. Sure, finding somewhere to curl up and hide was a wonderful idea, but that only worked when the bad guys couldn't sense where you were and find you anyway. No, like it or not, she was going to have to do something to become less of a liability, to be less dependent on others' kindnesses. The eternal senshi's offer was kind, even if it did make Callisto nibble her lip, wondering silently if the help was being offered because they knew she hadn't so much as assumed her powered form once while she was gone and thus worse than a newly-awakened senshi. She really hoped that it wasn't. "It's not... really... finding my feet," the dark-haired girl said slowly, dragging the words out before she choked on them. "It's... this is a war, and. And I can't... I don't know how to..." She couldn't articulate what she was feeling - how frightened she was that this was all going to come crashing down and end in death at best for everyone she knew, how sure she was that she wasn't going to be a good enough senshi to be of any use, how she didn't think she'd ever be able to ask anyone for help, even if she knew when she should... Instead, Callisto shrugged and looked down, settling for a half-mumbled, "It's hard." Sunshine Alouette ((Sorry this is a bit late!))
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2014 10:28 am
Ganymede laughed without meaning to and struggled to cut it off quickly, tossing Callisto another look of remorse and hoping the younger girl didn't take offense. There was nothing about what Callisto had said that was in any way amusing. She was entirely right; it was hard. But somehow it still seemed humorous to Ganymede, morbidly so, that the fate of the world depended on a bunch of kids their age trying to figure out a series of problems that would probably baffle most adults.
Once she had her laughing under control, Ganymede nodded in agreement. “That's probably a bit of an understatement, but... I mean, you're not wrong. Then again, it's probably not meant to be easy, is it? I've always thought anything really worth something was supposed to be a little hard.”
That was, perhaps, one of the key things she'd learned in her last three or four years of life. She was still missing plenty of answers about the war, but it'd certainly taught her plenty about worth.
“It's going to take a lot of work, and a lot of effort, and yeah, it's probably going to mean getting hurt every once in a while, or worse,” she said, and paused to swallow down a sudden uncomfortable feeling in her throat as she thought about anything worse happening to any of her friends, “but when it's over it'll be worth it, won't it? Sometimes it's worth it already when we manage to save someone. It just... it'll just take some time. But it's alright to be unsure about it. It's alright to feel a little overwhelmed or... afraid...”
Ganymede tried to sound reassuring but wasn't entirely sure she was doing a good job.
“I'm afraid all the time,” she admitted. “And I'm always worried that something awful's going to happen. That's normal, I think. You just have to keep looking ahead. Have a goal, figure out what your reasons are for fighting, whether it's something for yourself, or someone you want to protect. It doesn't make it any easier, but it makes it... it makes it bearable. It does make it seem worth it.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:06 pm
The laugh made Callisto a little anxious - maybe she had said something wrong? But... but no, that was just one of those 'this situation is ridiculous' kind of laughs, wasn't it? Where nobody in particular was being laughed at, but the situation was just too unbelievable not to laugh at? The younger senshi thought that might have been the case - or at least, she hoped so. "Everything scares me," she admitted slowly as she digested her elder's words. "Not just... this. Not just the fighting, it's..." She swallowed and wrung her hands together, not wanting to say the wrong thing and upset Ganymede when she was being so nice to her. "Everything. It... it wasn't so bad, out of the city, but now that I'm back... it's just too much." Wide grey eyes turned to the blonde, and stared for a split second before turning away again as Callisto blinked back anxious tears. "Finding my feet at all is... is hard. I'm... I'm not sure how much I can help as a senshi when I'm worried about making it through my classes..." And she wasn't a very good senshi, besides. Of that much, at least, she was fairly certain. How could she be, with so long away and so little practice? 'So little ability', her mind whispered to her, and she shook the thought off despite knowing that it would come back to haunt her later. "I... want to be able to help, but...." Please don't be mad Ganymede, please don't be mad... "I don't want to --- to be a liability." The worst of it was that Callisto had no idea how to avoid becoming one, other than stay low, stay quiet, stay out of the way... Which was the same thing as not helping at all. Sunshine Alouette ((ALMOST A YEAR ISN'T TOO LONG IS IT? NO?))
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Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 6:40 am
“We're all a little bit of a liability,” Ganymede said. She tried to sound reassuring. “The only way not to be one would be for everyone to go around on their own all the time, and that's not going to solve anything. Sometimes it's... sometimes we need the liabilities, you know? To make us fight harder. To make us stronger.”
She wasn't sure if what she'd said got across the way she'd meant it to. Ganymede didn't think she was the best at giving advice, and she felt awkward offering reassurances when she was far from confident in her own abilities. It was a difficult subject to traverse, trying to convince Callisto of her own worth when Ganymede herself often felt unworthy.
She was far from angry. Callisto hadn't admitted to anything Ganymede hadn't occasionally thought herself. She tried to reassure the younger girl with a smile.
“This city isn't very kind to people,” she said. “Even normal civilians. Even the people without power. It's no more kind to them than it is us. It's probably worse for them in some ways. They don't have the ability to fight back.
“You just have to get used to it again, is all,” Ganymede decided. “And if you want to take it slow, no one's going to blame you for it. Focus on your classes for a while if you're worried about them. Then, when you've got that under control, try powering up a little more. Uses your senses. Those'll keep you from running into any Negaverse Agents or Dark Mirror Senshi. Stick with youma until you feel like you have your feet. There's no shame in it if you need help. Contact me. Or Europa. Or Val. Any one of us would be happy to help.”Redbud-Tree I'm so sorry for the wait!! QQ
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Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 5:47 pm
"I... suppose so," Callisto murmured quietly, trying to take in Ganymede's words and not see them in the worst light possible. She knew she had a bad habit of doing that, her therapist had been working with her on stopping that sort of thing before she had to move back, but... Therapy was expensive. barring luck or discounted sessions, any more healing she did was going to be mostly on her own for the foreseeable future. "But when ... when you're more liability than help, isn't that... doesn't that make any effort you put forth..." She trailed off, unable to complete her thought, and shrugged. "I don't... want to - " Oh god she was leaking stupid straight out of her mouth in the form of words, wasn't she? "To discourage anyone? But. I... I'm worried I won't be able to help when I really need to, and I don't... I don't think I could bear letting people down like that." To have someone's suffering or worse on her shoulders because she failed? Because she fell apart when she needed to stand and be strong, when she needed strength but didn't have it? No, she couldn't bear that. "I... I will," the senshi of solitude mumbled, gray eyes unable to look directly at Ganymede any longer, cheeks dusted pink with shame. "But I don't want to.... to overburden you all, either? How ---" How would she know when it was safe to ask for help? That was a question she simply couldn't ask. Instead, she offered a weak replacement question. "...How should I ask?" Sunshine Alouette A MONTH IS NOTHING I MADE YOU WAIT FOR A YEAR I'M THE ONE WHO'S SORRYYYYYYYY. QQ
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Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2015 6:36 am
“You're being too hard on yourself,” Ganymede said,
Of course, she could understand. It was easy to put yourself down, especially if you had plenty of proof to back it up. She'd done it many times herself. She still did it from time to time. “I'm so stupid” or “I don't know what I'm talking about” or “I have no idea what I'm doing,” she tended to think that way more often than not. One moment of bad luck or a single failure was enough to send her thoughts spiraling downward, and she began to question her own self worth.
But wasn't that normal? Ganymede knew it wasn't just her. Callisto was proof of that. It wasn't something one could easily get over. It was difficult changing the way you thought about things—particularly the way you thought about yourself.
“Just try your best, that's all anyone else can ask for,” she continued. “Tomlin wouldn't have awoken you if he didn't think you weren't ready for it, if he didn't think you needed this. You're going to do just fine. Just take it easy, take it slow, get your bearings again. It might take a while, but you'll get the hang of it, and maybe one day you'll be able to feel a little more confident about things. It's taken me years to get where I am now.
“And I know asking for help is hard sometimes,” Ganymede said, tossing another smile Callisto's way, “but all you have to do is say 'I don't want to patrol alone' or 'I think I need help figuring something out' or 'I'm really worried about my classes' and someone'll answer. You can text or call me whenever you want. Senshi phone, civilian phone, it doesn't matter.”
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Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2015 12:06 am
"Do.... you think so?" Callisto asked, and was surprised to find that she really wanted to know. She had always thought she was just being as hard on herself as she deserved, or at best as hard on herself as was necessary. But if Ganymede thought she was overdoing it, then maybe - just maybe - she really was? And if she was, what did that mean about her abilities (or lack thereof?). "I - sorry, you wouldn't say that unless you thought it, um... But. Really?" It was such a small thing, really, that someone else might think she was being too hard on herself - might think there was more she had to offer than what she had always believed, but Callisto wanted it to be true. Hoped it would be true, and she latched onto that small, fragile hope like a drowning person onto a liferaft. "I... I hope you're right, Ganymede," she said finally, and managed to muster up a smile for the blonde. "I want to be able to help. To pull my own weight. It's... hard, to ask for help. Even when I know I need it." She blushed and looked down. " Especially when I know I need it." Fidgeting a little with a lock of her hair, Callisto offered Ganymede what she hoped was an acquiescent expression, along with a nod. "Okay. Okay, I'll... try to do that more often. It... may not be common for a while, though? Is.... is that alright?" Sunshine Alouette ((Aaaaa Ganymede helped her so much here ; wink )
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Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2015 5:47 am
“Yeah, I think so,” Ganymede said. “But it's not an uncommon thing. Sometimes I think I'm a little too hard on myself, too.”
It wasn't that she always thought poorly of herself, but it had taken her a long time to grow comfortable with being a Senshi, and a lot of that had to do with how she felt about herself. She hadn't thought she could handle it and so she couldn't; she'd though the only solution was to run, and so she had. Once she finally realized it, though, and she came to terms with what she was, with who she had become, she gained a certain confidence in herself she hadn't quite had before.
No one can hurt me more than I can hurt myself, she told herself. No one knows me better than I do. No one can think worse of me than I haven't already thought of myself.
Somehow it helped, though she didn't expect it would for everyone.
“Just go at whatever pace you're comfortable with,” Ganymede told the younger Senshi. “If it turns out you need to take things slow, that's fine. If that's the way you feel, it'd be more dangerous for you and for others if you pushed yourself too hard too soon. But if there's ever a time you feel like you can handle more of it, then do it. You know yourself better than anyone else. Only you know what you can handle. So listen to yourself. Don't ignore the signs, but remember that you're not alone.”Redbud-Tree Ganymede tries!! Sometimes she succeeds! XD;;;
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Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2015 1:43 pm
"I... I'll keep that in mind, then," Callisto answered, and even as she fought against her own uncertainty, she offered Ganymede another smile. "And... I'll do like you suggested. But - " And she paused, wrinkling her nose and nibbling on her lower lip as she sorted through her thoughts, then continued, "But... if something big happens. If. If I'm really needed, even if I'm not - not comfortable, yet... will you let me know? I... can't just... abandon you guys, even if I do need to... to take it slowly, or something." Not to mention she'd never be able to forgive herself if something happened because of her own inability to act. Some things she knew she needed to be a part of, somehow. Her lack of confidence didn't matter in the least when it came to the big, potentially world-ending things - she needed to be there if something like that happened, if just so she could say she tried.
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Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 8:32 am
Ganymede's smile slipped momentarily into a look of concern. “If you don't think you can handle the big things, no one's going to blame you if you sit them out. That's not to say you wouldn't be needed, just... I wouldn't want to see you hurt.”
She'd seen enough big things herself to know that being unprepared for them was worse than the event itself. Of course, she didn't think anyone could ever be fully prepared for them with how sporadically they tended to crop up, but if a Senshi or Knight was having difficulty facing a youma battle or a one-on-one with a Negaverse Agent, a big battle would be especially brutal for them, more so than it was for those who could face the usual things Destiny City had to throw at them.
But Ganymede also knew what it felt like to be out of the loop, and lacking information was just as bad. It wasn't her intention to leave Callisto in the dark. She simply wanted to make sure the other Senshi was prepared before involving herself in things that might turn out to be a bit too far over her head.
“But... yeah, if anything happens, I'll let you know,” she agreed. “Just don't feel obligated. If you don't think you can handle it, I know I for one would rather you sit it out. But if you think you can, you'd be welcome. We can use all the help we can get in those situations.”
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Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2015 4:23 pm
"I... understand," Callisto said, nodding slowly. "If it's something I can't help much with, maybe I could... bring snacks to meetings, or - or something?" She really did want to help, it was simply that her confidence was so very low that she couldn't trust herself to be able to assist. "Um... Other than that, I..." She trailed off and squeezed her eyes closed, caught in the grip of her own uncertainty once again. "I suppose... I'll just.... take things as they come? And... try to help when I can..." Not that she thought it would happen very often... But at least now - maybe it would be okay if she focused more on her schoolwork for a while? She had some... ideas, really. Just ideas and dreams that the senshi knew - knew - had no real hope of becoming reality, but she wanted to try to reach them anyway. At least that way she couldn't say she hadn't made the effort. "And... and thank you, Ganymede. I appreciate you trying to help me." To try and help a hopeless case took a lot more strength than the blonde was giving herself credit for, not that Callisto could say as much. It wouldn't sound right if she tried, and it would end up making what was an almost nice patrol into something much, much less pleasant.
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Posted: Thu Apr 09, 2015 8:00 am
“It's no problem at all,” Ganymede said.
It really wasn't. She might not think she was the best at giving advice, and she didn't often know what the best way to be supportive was, but she liked to help where she could, whether that was working out an issue or offering reassurances. With Callisto that was especially true; Ganymede felt responsible for her.
If she were to be honest, she would rather see Callisto sit things out for a while, not because she didn't trust Callisto's abilities, and not because she didn't want her around, but because Ganymede didn't want to see Callisto get hurt. She had enough guilt on her conscience as it was.
“What do you say we call it a night?” she suggested. “It's getting late. We should take advantage of the peace and quiet while we can.”
Because she knew it wouldn't last.
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