[PRP] Deep Conversation (Amarantine and Laureat)

[Cajmera]

 

[Cajmera]

Amarantine (Amary)
~~~

Narrowing her eyes, Amary scrutinized her forelock with almost laser-like focus. Carefully, she examined the long, gently waving strands, deeply pink and tipped with silver. The hair itself was healthy and full, the wave as natural as it ever had been. But the look Amary gave the hair would have been enough to burn the bark off the tree. She was feeling on guard, and the enemy was, as it always had been, age.

~~~

Amary had never really considered herself a child of good fortune, though there were many who would argue she was. She had been born to parents who loved her and loved each other, with a twin brother who worshiped the ground she walked on. She had been beautiful, gifted with luxuriantly wavy hair; strong, brilliantly colored wings, and a vibrantly colored coat that caught the eye of everyone who glimpsed it. She had been blessed with a vivacious personality, outgoing and personable, able to get along with just about everyone she came across. She had inherited her parents' mutual love of love and beauty, with all the associated benefits, and she had been her father's especial darling, even into adulthood.

However, these virtues and blessings had run almost literally skin deep. Loved by everyone around her, it was almost inevitable that she would come to see herself the same way. As a worshiper of beauty, her own striking looks naturally stood as the standard to which all others were measured, and she held herself in the highest of esteem. She loved her family, but in a gentle, selfish sort of way. Used to having her own way, she rebelled against any sort of constraint or control and went out on her own at a very young age, to do and act as she saw fit.

And the way Amary had always had always seen fit was with pleasure first and foremost.

She had been lucky for the longest time, able to live her aimless and carefree lifestyle without any form of restraint of encumbrance. However, living the life she did it was inevitable that she would one day end up expectant.

At the time, Amary hadn't been able to identify the father. It could have been one of five stallions, to her best estimate, possibly more; she'd never been particularly interested in biology, and she was hazy on things like timing. But as her svelte body became disgustingly round and cumbersome, she had to admit the truth: she was pregnant.

Coming to that realization was one thing; deciding how to handle the situation was another. As a selfish creature, being responsible for another creature was anathema to her; for a time, she meant to go home to her parents, have the baby, and just leave it with them. But a small shadow of maturity made her reconsider. Being pregnant meant that she had to rein in her loving lifestyle, and with her new free time she had many opportunities to think. As she thought, she came to believe that she would prefer to raise the child herself. After all, she was gorgeous; her lovers were all handsome. She would have a daughter who would be beautiful, and Amary would bask in the glow of motherhood and maturity.

She had not been expecting to have a son, much less three of them. She had been alone when she gave birth, and the experience had been worse than she ever could have imagined. She had sworn off stallions forever as she suffered through the hours of labor, and surveying the three slimy infants had been a far cry from the blissful maternal scene she had envisioned.

Still, it was too late to turn back now.

She had tried to do the best by her sons, she really had. She had nursed them, and as they grew she had gone out to bring them food. She had meant to raise them well, she really had.

But it was inevitable that her old demons, Vanity and Selfishness, would rear their ugly heads again. While out searching for food, she had met up with a handsome, smooth-talking stallion. It had been so long since she'd been told she was gorgeous, since her own beliefs had been confirmed by the words and actions of another. She had been swept off her feet, and had thoroughly enjoyed her interlude with the stallion, forgetting all other responsibilities and cares.

Including her sons.

By the time she returned to the place she'd left them, they were gone. She'd done a little looking around, but finding no trace of the boys, she rationalized their disappearance by the fact that they were growing up and had obviously struck out on their own. Not once did it occur to her that they were too young to be alone, or that they might be out looking for her. Even less likely to Amary was the possibility that some harm might have come to them. It was easy to reason away their disappearance, and once she had come to that conclusion, it was easy for Amary to move on and not look back at her time of motherhood.

Though there were a few things that bothered Amary. In spite of her latest Lothario, she was not feeling herself. She still had weight to lose, her skin was saggy, and she appeared to be visibly aged by the experience. She was still lovely, but less lovely than she should be, so obviously she couldn't hang out in her old stomping grounds. Until she was satisfied that she was back to perfect condition, she couldn't run the risk of having someone who had known her before see her now, including her family.

~~~

She had never been one to keep track of time in more than a general sense, so she had no idea how much time had passed since she'd left the region. But now, finally, as she released the forelock she smiled. It was a time to go see her Daddy.  

[Cajmera]

Laureat
~~~

Humming to himself, Laureat flitted from one rose bush to the next. There were five of them all together, thick leaved, with strong, woody stems and dark, glossy black blossoms. They'd been growing here for longer than Laureat had been alive; he and his twin sister Lauriel had played tag around them when they were younger, running in and out around the shrubs. When they got older, they had taken a greater interest in the rose bushes; following in the tradition of their older siblings and father before them, they had taken to picking the dark roses and using them to decorate their manes and tails. With their older siblings, the interest in the flowers had been purely ornamental; they picked the flowers, tucked them into mane and tail, behind ears, into necklaces. They wore the flowers until they died, then threw them aside to be replaced with another, seemingly interchangeable blossom.

Laureat had been different, right from the beginning. True, he had engaged in ring-around-the-rosebush more than once or twice as a foal, but he had always felt oddly...connected with the flowers. They were more than just a family tradition to him; to Laureat, each flower was something to be loved, to be cherished. As he became old enough to wear the flowers, he had also taken the novel step in asking his father for permission to help care for the roses. It had been Guilian who brought the roses to the clearing, who had planted and tended to them since they were buds, and he had been overjoyed that one of his children was finally interested in the care of the flowers, rather than just the picking. He had ready agreed that Laureat could help tend the roses, teaching his son everything he himself had come to learn about the flowers over the years.

In time, Laureat had taken over the care of the roses completely, adding to the little family garden with roses of other colors and additional flowers of varying hues. He would spend hours amidst the flowers, trimming and tidying, nosing mulch down amongst the roots and lugging shells of water up from the pond. It was often dirty work, but it was also refreshing and rejuvenating. Here amidst the flowers, and on his treks for more flowers, he felt truly at peace. Like his parents before him, there were few things Laureat loved as much as anything he found beautiful.

~~~

Today was a rather quiet day in the clearing. His mother was off on one of her little 'journeys of exploration,' and his father had gone off on a jaunt with 'Uncle' Ariston. Laureat didn't live in the clearing any more himself, but he tended to stay close enough that he could easily come by and visit his garden. With both parents gone, he had opted to just 'move home' for the duration. So far, it was proving a nice, relaxing holiday...though he'd need to make another little trip, soon. He'd seen the most lovely collection of day lilies while out visiting a friend the other week, and he'd been meaning to try and get some for the garden!  

[Cajmera]

Amary
~~~

It had been a long time since Amary had been in this neck of the woods, but the sense of familiarity was unmistakable. Sure, the path was a bit more trodden, the trees a bit taller, the shade a bit more encompassing, but the way was as clear to her now as it had been when she ran it as a foal. As she made her way through the trees, she could almost see ghosts of her younger self racing along after her twin brother Leon, or the other way around. She smiled, feeling a strong wave of nostalgia for the first time in ages. There had been no need to feel nostalgic when she was living things up, but her first thought of home had been enough to unleash a wave of homesickness.

She doubted she would encounter Leon here. Even before she had become pregnant, he had departed for greener pastures; quite literally, as he had felt claustrophobic under cover of the forest. Last she knew, he had been courting a mare who lived on the southern edge of the great forest; perhaps later after she'd seen her parents, she would look him up and see what he was up to. Amary had never understood Leon's desire for the simple, monogamous life, but in spite of their differences the two had always been close. Yes, she would definitely have to find him, now that she was back in the area.

Today, she was looking forward to seeing her parents. Though they had never agreed to be monogamous, her parents had always been strongly attracted to each other both physically and mentally. Though each had children with other Soquili as well, Guilian and Luca had kept coming back to each other, even going so far as to settle down together in the clearing where they'd brought up Amary and her brother. She had no reason to assume that they would be anywhere other than home; after all, why wouldn't they be there to greet their favorite daughter?

It would be so wonderful to see them again, her languid, laughing mother and her gregarious, charming father! The closer she got to the clearing, the more excited she got, imagining various different 'reunion' scenarios. In all of them, there were tears of joy, cries of gratitude, much hugging, and various other expressions of happiness. By the time she reached the clearing, she was practically in tears herself, she was so delighted...and there was her father!

He had his back to her, but she would recognize him anywhere! The same slim build, the same dark stockings, the same wings, the same thick, curling tail...

Wait.

It might have been a long time, but she was positive her father's mane and tail were red, tipped in black. This stallion had the same curls, albeit a bit longer, but his were black, tipped in silver. She studied the stallion for a long minute, a confused expression on her face, then burst out, "You're not Daddy, but who are you?"  

[Cajmera]

Laureat
~~~

Laureat had been busily pruning his white rose bushes, and had consequently been devoting his entire focus to the task. After all, one didn't want to bite off more than was absolutely necessary, or end up with a thorn in their lip! So he'd been taken almost completely unawares when the high-pitched exclamation of the mare came from right behind him. He almost spiked himself on the roses, he was so surprised, and he whirled around to eye the speaker. The sight that greeted him was something so unexpected he was thrown for another loop, and for a moment he stared at the mare with open-mouthed, gaping shock. She'd told him he wasn't Daddy, and she was looking at him as though he ought to be; given their location, his appearance, and her appearance, this mare could really only be one person!

"Amary?" He asked, a tinge of incredulity in his voice.

~~~
Amary
~~~

Well, this was awkward. He knew who she was, and she had no idea who he was! Although, scratch that; given his close physical resemblance to her father, he had to be a relative. And if he was a relative, then it made sense he would know who she was; after all, she was a beloved daughter of the family, perhaps her father's favorite, even! So why wouldn't this relation have been told about her?

It wasn't in Amary's nature to be upset or taken aback for long, and as soon as she'd realized she and the stallion were related, she was all smiles. He might not be her father, but he was a handsome relative who she'd never met, and he might be able to tell her where her father was later. "That's right, I'm Amary, short for Amarantine. But you seem to have me at a disadvantage; I can see you're not Daddy Guilian, but I think you might be a relative?"  

[Cajmera]

Laureat
~~~

After a moment, Laureat remembered to close his mouth, and once he'd done that it was much easier to shake off the outward signs of shock. He was a flexible fellow, after all; you had to be, to be a member of this family. And it was easy to appreciate the absurdity of the situation without his mouth gawped open like that of a fish.

He had to figure out how to handle this though, he was rapidly realizing. Laureat had always prided himself on his easy-going attitude; in his eyes, life was meant to be enjoyed, not brooded over, and it was far too easy to fall into a slump if you let life get you down. He was like a duck; the negative waters of the world tended to just roll right off his back. But this was different; this wasn't something that affected him personally, this was something that affected his entire family. More to the point, it affected his father, and it affected his father deeply.

And if Laureat was fond of his family, he loved his parents. And he hated seeing his father brood, hated seeing the tenseness in his shoulders that gave away that brooding. He had never met Amary, but he had heard the story of what she'd done and known how much it had broken their father.

For his own part, Laureat couldn't believe anyone would do such a thing, and seeing his sister standing here in front of him, looking so incredibly gorgeous, perky, and young, he almost couldn't believe she had done it. Yet the evidence was irrefutable. And here she stood, blithely ready to visit with their parents, ready to laugh and smile and beam at him, no hint of apology at all in her appearance or tone.

This was going to be tricky...  

[Cajmera]

Amary
~~~

Amary was not used to waiting for things, especially not when there was a stallion involved. A quick flit of petulance crossed her features before she smoothed them out into her naturally flirty smile, shaking her head at Laureat and his silence with an overly dramatic air. "You boys! I have to admit, it's not unusual for stallions to be tongue-tied in my presence, but we're all relatives here, obviously. Surely you can pull yourself together long enough to have a civil conversation with me?" She laughed then, the action tossing her short mane in an eye catching way, and gave him her best 'puppy dog eyes.'

Laureat
~~~

Damn, she was good. Laureat found himself shaking his head in sheer amazement and awe; sister or no, she was breathtakingly beautiful and knew her stuff. He could appreciate the beauty; the rest...well, the rest, he'd have to wait and see.

But her words reminded him he'd been thinking without talking, which he would have to change. Whatever he needed to do to deal with this very delicate situation, it would require words. So he too adopted his best smile and shook a wing at her playfully. "It's no use trying to fascinate me, Amary, because you are correct, we are related. Fully related, in fact; I'm your little brother, Laureat. Your full-blood little brother, even. I also have a twin sister, Lauriel, who I'm sure you'll meet at some time. The resemblance is obvious, as I'm sure you'll see for yourself."

He paused then, considering the best way to go on. "Dad's not here, and I don't know when he'll be back. Could be any time, could be days. He's off on a 'wandering' with uncle Ariston, and has been for the last few days. But you should stay; I've heard about you, but it's great to have a chance to finally meet you and talk."  

[Cajmera]

Amary
~~~

Well, that was a kick in the teeth. Amary hadn't realized until right this minute how much she'd been looking forward to seeing her father, to flying into his wings for one of his inimitable huge, to catching up on everything that had happened in all the time that had passed. Yes, it had been her choice to stay away for so long, but she'd had a great reason; the last thing she wanted was for Guilian to see her as a worn out, shapeless thing. Perhaps it was a bit selfish, expecting him to just be waiting for her, but she still had to fight back tears in that quick moment.

Still, she didn't just pride herself on her looks; they might be her favorite thing about herself, but she had another ace in her sleeve: her self control.

And it wasn't every day she learned she had a new brother, no matter what her father's habits! So she swallowed back her tears and gave Laureat her most brilliant, interested smile. "Well, I don't know which of those things is more interesting, Laureat; it's great to meet you, and I look forward to meeting our sister someday! It's certainly a surprise, not that you exist but that you have both the same parents I do! One, that makes sense, but both?" She laughed, flipped back her mane in a subconsciously flirtatious way; even with her brothers, she didn't know any other way to be.

"I am sorry to not have caught up with Daddy, but it's great to have the chance to get to meet you, and get to know you. And vice versa, I suppose!"  

[Cajmera]

Laureat
~~~

Yes, it certainly was something to have a chance to meet Amary, and get to know her in person. Laureat hadn't come flat-out and asked, but from the sound of it Amary hadn't run into any other members of the family yet since her return from...wherever. If she had met anyone, they obviously weren't 'in-the-know' about what Amary had done; otherwise he couldn't imagine her being so blase about visiting their father. It was common knowledge that Amary's behavior had devastated Guilian; anyone of Laureat's siblings who still lived in the area knew about this, and would have said something to try to open Amary's eyes to the harm she'd caused.

He wished that he didn't have to be the one to have this conversation; it was far too probable that things were going to get depressing. He hated negativity, confrontation, and seeing or feeling hurt; but he didn't see any other way to impress upon Amary the seriousness of her behavior and the resultant effects on the family.

Deep breaths, Laureat...

"Yes, it is great to finally meet you, Amary. And actually, I'm glad we had this chance to meet and talk before you saw Dad." He paused then, unsure of how best to go on. "I don't think you really understand just what's happened since you last saw him."  

[Cajmera]

Amary
~~~

It was an understatement to say that Amary didn't understand what had happened. Not only did she not understand what had happened, she didn't know what was going on right now! Laureat looked so earnest, he obviously expected her to have an inkling of familiarity with what he was talking about. But then, how was she supposed to know anything that had happened since she'd left? Hadn't they both just clarified that she'd been gone for a very long time and this was her first time back?

Perhaps he was a bit simple, this younger brother of hers. If so, she could be charitable!

"Well, no, I don't understand. How would I, when I've been gone for so long? I know it's a bit bad of me to have scuttled away without even sending back a message, but it really seemed the best course at the time. And then it just wasn't feasible to communicate in the interim, so..." She spread her wings out, feathers spread, in a clear gesture of supplication. "You'll just have to explain it to me, whatever it is."

And hopefully it wouldn't be too dull.  

[Cajmera]

Laureat
~~~

Laureat wasn't surprised at Amary's claim of ignorance; it meshed well with what he'd been told of this particular sibling by both parents and a few older siblings. Still, it would have been nice if there'd been some comprehension, some glimmer of understanding; at least then they would have been able to get to the meat of the matter faster. Instead, Laureat would have to back up farther than he'd like, explaining deatils he technically wasn't very familiar with. After all, he hadn't even been born when this was happening; everything he knew was definatively after the fact hearsay.

Still, he'd always considered himself an excellant listener, and while he hated having to think about unpleasant matters, he knew that in this circumstance he would just have to grin and bare it. Perhaps later, when Amary and their father finally met and talked themselves, Laureat would be able to be truly grateful for his role in mending the family. Assuming that he actually succeeded at mending the family.

"Well, ok then. We'll back up to the particulars, but you'll have to bare with me a bit if I'm not super detailed with everything. I wasn't exactly born yet, so this is all info I heard well after everything was done. But I've heard the story a LOT, given how affected Dad apparently was by everything, so I think I can do it enough justice." Disclaimer over, he took a deep breath and launched into the actual issue. "Dad was really upset that you never told any of the family you were pregnant, and that you never went to anyone for help."  

[Cajmera]

Amarantine
~~~

Wow, they really were dredging up ancient history here, weren't they? Whatever Amary had been expecting from Laureat, particularly given his Dramatic Pronouncement Voice, it wasn't a reference to the epic inconvenience of her only childbearing experience. "Spirits, talk about ancient history! Don't you think it's a little weird to be talking about something like this with your sister, especially since, as you say, you weren't even born?" She shook her head in Laureat in displeasure, wondering why this was so all-fired important that a Soquili who hadn't even been born at the time felt the need to talk to her about it. Sure, it made sense Daddy had been disappointed at not being told, but at the end of the day, was it really that big a deal? Lots of mares had kids without telling their families. Sure, she'd felt a little guilty about it afterwards, but it wasn't like it was a crime! And she'd had great reasons for keeping it to herself.

"Well, I'm sorry Daddy was hurt he wasn't told. I was originally going to tell him, but then I decided I'd rather surprise he and Mummy when the baby was born, except then there were three and it ended up getting crazy, and I got sidetracked and then the boys were off on their own, so..." Having so said, she shrugged her shoulders as if to say 'what can you do,' before adding, "I don't see why something that little would bother Daddy after all this time. How does this connect to the actual issue?"  

[Cajmera]

Laureat
~~~

It wasn't in Laureat's nature to judge. In fact, it never had been; he was in a poor position to judge, he figured, being that he himself was hardly an example of the stellar, 'classic' Soquili mold. However, he had his own limits, just as everyone else did. Standing here and listening to Amary, he was acutely aware that in this matter, in this case, he was downright conservative.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. In the same breath, Amary acknowledged the very thing that had so devastated their father, then dismissed it out of hoof as unimportant and beyond care. She had even said 'the boys were off on their own,' off on their own when they were clearly too young to take care of themselves! Laureat had only met their older brother Antony on a few occasions, but he truly believed that Antony was capable of violent rage when Antony had talked of that episode. It was because one of Amary's sons had found Antony and his family that Guilian had learned of any of this, and because of that son that they knew just how young the boys were.

Laureat might not have been alive then, but he was all too aware of the sensitive nature of children, how much they needed their parents' care and protection. To think that his own sister had abandoned her young sons because she got 'sidetracked!'

Narrowing his eyes, he gave Amary a piercing look. "That IS the actual issue, Amary. How could you abandon your children like that? How could you leave them alone when they were so young, and not even seem to care what happened to them? Do you have any idea what they went through when you were gone, or what happened to them afterwards?"  

[Cajmera]

Amarantine
~~~

Whoa, this was not the way that things were supposed to work! Stallions did not yell at her, they never yelled at her! They loved her, adored her, treated her gently; at most, they became exasperated with her and raised their voices at her; they NEVER yelled at her. And this was her own brother, her own little brother, who clearly owed her respect!

Amary was most put out. It was bad enough that her Daddy wasn't around when she hadn't seen him for so long, but now she was being yelled at by a little boy about things long past that were completely irrelevant anyway. How incredibly tedious, rude, and unfun. Though Amary would never stoop to yelling or similar behavior herself, she allowed her displeasure to be elegantly displayed in her stiffened body language and frostier tone. "I don't think you're in a position to judge MY child rearing skills, Laureat, since you don't know me, or my children, since you never met THEM. I might have left the boys alone for a bit, but they went off on their own and were gone when I came back; I never drove them away or was unkind to them. They wanted to leave, that's obviously why they left. I'm their mother, not their jailer; if they wanted to leave, then I wasn't going to stop them. Besides, I waited around after they left for a few weeks, and they never came back; obviously they were ready to be on their own."

She paused, then fluffed her wings and shrugged. "Sometimes, family isn't always so close."  

[Cajmera]

Laureat
~~~

There were so many things wrong with what Amary was saying that Laureat couldn't think of where to begin. He's never been the sort of Soquili to judge another, whether family or stranger. He hated being serious, hated thinking about depressing or somber thoughts. He had always been the sunny one, the carefree one. In fact, his mother had told him long ago that in this, he was a lot like his older sister, this self same Amary who was standing in front him now, calmly defending her reprehensible behavior. Was he really like this, so wrapped up in himself that he refused to see the world around him as it was?

No, he couldn't be like this. If he was, he wouldn't be here now, trying to knock some sense in Amary, to get her to see just how wrong she'd been. He owed his father this; Guilian had been through so much, seeing Amary like this, back and unrepentant, would only break him down further. No, Laureat would get her to see reason if it knocked him crosswise.

Steeling his resolve, Laureat drew himself up to his full height; it might not be much compared to the Soquili average, but it was still greater than that of his sister. "Did it ever occur to you, Amary, that your sons were gone when you came back because they went looking for you? That they had been waiting for you, but they were starving? Or terrified of being alone? Or that they had been discovered by a Kalona or a Skinwalker, and forced to flee? Did it ever ONCE occur to you that while you were off cavorting, your sons might have been killed?" His tone, normally so smooth and pleasant, had taken on a rough tone. He'd never met any of Amary's sons, but he knew what had happened, courtesy of Laureat's older brother Antony who had been found by one of the three boys. The fact no one had any idea what happened to the other two made it only more heartbreaking.

"Just because I've never met you before doesn't mean we didn't find out what happened. What would you say if I told you that one of your sons had managed to find Tony's family, that he had been exhausted, weak, and terrified when he met up with them? That he was on his own because he and his brothers had decided they had the best chance of making it separately, even though they were really all too young to be alone? What if I told you that son of yours was too ashamed to tell the truth, that he said you'd given him permission to visit? What if he had no idea what happened to his brothers, and that even after Dad and Tony spent weeks looking for them, they found no trace? ACTUALLY looking for them, not just glancing around and dismissing them as nothing like their mother did!"