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 Posted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 3:58 pm
Bethany Wyatt was a girl of few desires and even fewer luxuries, and that was alright with her. She was all but raised in the dormitories of St. Magdalena's Seminary and had few possessions that was her own, but it was never a bother to her. There were few things she really wanted, and what she had, she was completely happy with, so it wasn't like her to find herself jealous or green with envy. Worldly possessions meant little, as it was something that could not be brought with them into Heaven nor Hell, and regardless if one was rich or poor, all were equal when they were laid to rest. It may have been a depressing thought for others, but for Bethany, it was comforting to know...
However, she couldn't admit to finding herself impressed with Nischal's home. Even now as she stood at the entrance way of an old Victorian styled home, Bethany found her jaw hanging from her mouth and her violet eyes filled to the brim with wonder, and she couldn't help but find herself envious of her friend's great fortune. She didn't want to think ill of him, or anyone that might have lived in such a place, but she couldn't deny just how inadequate she felt just by approaching it.
Nevertheless, she approached the building slowly, as if expecting someone to pop out of the bushes and yell at her for intruding, yet no such thing happened. She made it all the way up the steps, one slow, cautious step at a time, and without taking off her mittens, she pressed what she thought was the doorbell, eager to get inside. Not only did she want to escape this never ending winter weather or curious about the interior, but she wanted to see Nischal so much. Whether she was just eager to have friends outside the Seminary or a genuine attraction to him, she felt like she had to see him, that he needed her. Or someone. Anyone. Maybe it was her Senshi sense, or maternal instincts, that triggered this feeling, but she felt as if she had to see him, and soon.
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Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 12:23 pm
Nischal quietly stumbled around his apartment, making sure that everything was neat in clean for his guest to arrive. Even though there were two young men living in this apartment, they were surprisingly clean. Maybe it was because that they were not home very often anymore. Or because Nischal liked to hide out in his room, rather than interact with older man who he called his roommate. As kind as the other was, he just couldn't bring himself to validate a reason to spend time with him. His mood was rather.. Brooding lately anyway.. There was no need to bring the kind older man down with him.
The quiet that resonated in his ears just became too much, and being alone with his thoughts was beginning to slowly drive him insane. He needed someone here, someone he could trust, someone who might understand him.. Bethany came to mind immediately. Though their meetings weren't the longest, and they were rather new friends, that connection they had was outstanding, he recalled. Plus, she was from the same system as he was. It was like destiny was telling him that they belonged close to one another. Without hesitation, he called her, nervously wondering if she would come over for a little while. When she agreed, the stress on his shoulders just felt so much lighter, and he thanked her over and over again. What would they even do when they saw one another, he didn't know.. He just knew that he wanted to see her.
Now, he waited anxiously for the girl's arrival, twisting his hands in a painful manner until she would arrive. The gentle ping of the doorbell sent him flying down the stairs, giving him only moments to compose himself before inviting her in.
"Bethany, hello! It's great to see you!" His words came out as if he were short of breath, and stepped to the side, holding it open for her to come inside. "I'll show you to the apartment! How was your trip here?"
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2014 1:18 pm
Bethany didn't often think to highly of herself and most of the time this didn't bother her. She was never really in high demand on any aspect of other students' lives outside of volunteer work or assisting with tasks, but it was impossible not to hear the clatter of feet from the other side of the door. Whoever was running towards the door sounded like they were in a rush and excited, and for a brief moment, she would have suspected to hear a dog barking. But there were no barks, no excited scratching at the door, only silence, before the door swung open and revealed only her friend.
Not that she wasn't happy to see him! The moment he came into sight, she melted into a smile, stepping into the house and trying to focus more on her friend that seemed excited to see her and not so much the interior of the house... or rather apartment complex, she noted from her brief observation. It was hard to not want to get lost in the detail, though her friend seemed to be helping as best as he could in the matter, whether he knew it or not. "Great to see you too, Nischal. The trip wasn't so bad- I managed not to get lost somehow and didn't even need to ask directions. I hope you've been studying while I was gone... you wouldn't want to overwork me, right?"
That last bit was only a joke and she hoped he'd play along with it. She was thankful to see that her friend was alright, but still, something felt off to her. He seemed a little too excited to see her, and maybe she was looking too deep into affairs, but it felt like a cry for help. Or maybe she just projected that notion there and merely wanted to feel wanted? One was just as acceptable as the other, in her mind. "Which one's your room?"
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Posted: Mon Feb 24, 2014 9:56 am
"Studying..? Yeah.. I might have neglected that a little bit more than I wanted. Lots of things have happened recently, you know with the.. the THING? So I'm still trying to get my act together." Nischal really didn't want to think about it.. Even now his heart was still trying to cope with all of the crap that had gone down.. But he didn't need to bother Bethany about it. Nope, this meeting was about SCHOOL. And he was here to LEARN. Or review at least.
"It's on the second floor. First door on the right. It's actually an entire apartment, rather than just a room. My roommate isn't here right now, but maybe you'd like to meet him one day. He's been my lifeline for a lot of things. But studying, not so much." Bjorn really was a sweetheart, and Nischal could literally say he owed him his life, for even with as prepared as he thought he was for corrupting, finding an actual home to stay in was.. Well, very difficult.
The boy lead his lovely young friend up to his home, opening the door to let her in first.
"Welcome to Casa de Niscal y Bjorn!"
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Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 10:53 pm
Bethany did her best not to cast judgement on most people, though this time she did cast her friend a rather stern look. So he hadn't been studying? It was certainly disappointing to hear that, but she did her best not to appear too angry. Either the matter had slipped his mind, or something else was bothering him, to the point that studying and his grade mattered so little in the long run. And given how much of a worry wort Bethany knew herself to be, she highly suspected the latter, and his excuse only confirmed it. Still, she did let out a disappointed sigh. "Nischal..."
He seemed to emphasize the word 'thing' and that only made her all the more curious. What was this 'thing' he was talking about? Had he told her and she forgot? Or was it the ordeal with his friend he had confessed his love to? Had more developed from that? Now Bethany just had to know! She tried not to appear too nosy, as she tilted her head to the left. "I'm curious what could have distracted you from school work. Must have been something big..."
She was curious about meeting her roommate, though that curiosity was pushed to the sidelines by the ever growing concern for her friend. They'd cross that bridge whenever they'd got there, but for now, she had to find out what was eating her good friend. Something must have happened... and she had to find out, if she had any hope of helping him. She followed him up the stairs, speaking softly even when he seemed to assure her that they were the only ones there. "It's a beautiful home, and I'm sure your roommate's wonderful. He had to have been to offer such a place to you. I look forward to meeting him someday."
When they arrived at his room, however, she was eager for the door to close, eager to see why he was so excited to see her, what bothered him. She wanted to help...
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Posted: Fri Feb 28, 2014 10:44 pm
Gah.. That look. He could just tell she was scolding him with her eyes, and he could not help but throw her a sheepish smile, knowing that he was a terrible person for working her so hard.
"I know.. I know, I'm sorry.. I should have focused better, but.. You know, sometimes things just seemed to collapse on one another. It's nothing too serious.. It's like my past ghosts have come back to haunt me in the most unpleasant of ways. " There was no reason at all she should have to listen to him! He forced another smile out, closing the door behind Bethany as she stepped into their apartment.
"He sincerely is a great man. And incredibly patient.. It's a shame he's not around more often. He's training to do strongman competitions. Maybe he'll stop by at some point." Though the likelihood of that happening seemed to grow thinner and thinner as of late. Maybe Nischal just wasn't used to his schedule yet. Either way, upon entering his bedroom, there were various books stacked up on his bed, waiting to be opened, as well as a list of thing he needed to review before going back into the school place. Honestly, he hated studying more than most other students (and that was saying alot) Nischal would give anything he had in order to rid his mind and heart of this dull aching that wouldn't stop.
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Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2014 10:58 pm
While adorable, his sheepish smile didn't really help matters as much, but Bethany found it hard to be angry with him. After all, from the sounds of it, her suspicions were correct and he was too stressed over what was obviously more pressing and important matters to him, and for that, whatever anger she felt was short lived. What anger that was left, however, was that he did not seek her out sooner, but now that she was here, she was determined to help him out, in some manner. Even if it was just to let him vent, she'd offer her ear.
"You don't have to apologize, Nischal. I understand that there are more important things in life than school and they get in the way. I just wish I had known sooner so that I could help." Bethany said, hoping that her smile would help relieve him in some manner. She showed no outward annoyance at his attempt to divert attention away from himself and onto his roommate, merely waiting as patiently as she could to hear the source of his turmoil. Would she have to pry? Would she have to pull teeth? Because she had no qualms in doing either, if she felt them necessary. "I hope to meet him someday... strongman competitions? He must be muscular... oh, I'd definitely like to see him then. How much do you figure he could bench press? Three hundred? Four, maybe?"
She looked towards the books but didn't make any outward motion towards them just yet. Maybe studying would get his mind off matters, but she had a feeling he wouldn't focus on the work for too long. "You know, if you'd like to talk, I'll listen. We don't have to study today, especially if you don't think any of that's going to sink in. I'd rather you improve, rather than your grades."
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Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 11:39 pm
"The thoughts in my head.. These feelings that are swirling around my chest are nothing that you deserve to have to listen to. They are the result of.. Of a foolishness that I'm so ashamed to admit I had allowed myself to act on, and.. As much as I want to talk about it.. I just can't allow myself to do such a thing." The question about How much Bjorn could benchmark was given just a little thought, though he shrugged about it, unsure of what to say.
"All i know is that he's atleast six and a half feet tall, and he could easily throw me out a window. Not that he would; I'd like to think that we get along just fine, but I find myself trying to just stay out of his way. I can't just bug him with my problems or anything. I'm more of a house guest, I think, than a roommate. I do what I need to do, then.. I just get out of the way." His someone playful smile fell a bit at that as he thought about the man who was so kind to him. He hardly did anything around here.. And sure, they had some of the same friends, but he was not about to go and invade on their time just to have some sort of contact with the outside world. Arian.. Orah.. They were Friends with each other before him, he didn't need to be around anyone, no one needed him, even if he wanted to reach out so badly to them all.. And that thought frightened him, would he really be alone again? No, no, of course not! He had Bethany.. Kind, sweet Bethany, who was here right now, listening to him, but he couldn't just lay all of this fear and anguish on her. That was just cruel. She should be happy. She didn't deserve any of this.
"It's my burden, and it's an absolutely stupid reason to be so.. So upset and out of it for too. The more I think about it, the deeper this hole I'm in gets, and soon, I'm afraid that I won't be able to climb out of it. Maybe that's why I want to study, or maybe why I think that I should throw myself into school, and into all the other things that I could be worrying about than just some.. Some fool who hurt me without a second though. And who am I to just stand back and take it, right? Why should I be the one who's still upset about it? The heart is a stupid, fragile thing, but the brain, the brain looks past that, the brain wants to learn and be filled and have nothing but knowledge take over." At this point, Nischal had sat down on his bed, holding a book open, one about basic level physics. Not that he was good at it. Not that he was actually bothering to read it, instead he fiddled with the pages, giving them a blank stare as he tried to recollect his thoughts.
"At the same time, the brain is the reason of overthinking."
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Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 5:59 pm
Bethany couldn’t help but find herself smiling at Nischal’s words, even when it felt like she was almost mocking the poor boy’s misery. She wasn’t, at least, she didn’t think she was. It wasn’t as though she enjoyed someone else’s suffering- FAR from it! She simply wanted to get to the bottom of Nischal’s turmoil and try to help him, that’s all. Surely there was nothing wrong with her for that, right? However, he didn’t seem too eager to talk too much about it, and though she longed for more information, she feared prying would only make matters worse. If Nischal wanted to open up to her, then he’d have to do it on his own…
“Then we won’t. But if you ever want to talk about it, I’ll listen. But you already know that, so… yeah.” Bethany tried to push the topic to the back of her mind now that Nischal was talking about his roommate, and while he wasn’t present, she did find herself growing to admire him. He sounded so strong and dreamy! She hoped her friend couldn’t see her blush, though the burning of her cheeks were a dead giveaway of the dirty thoughts running through her head right now. She hoped God could forgive her for them! However, whatever admiration she had for this mysterious roommate was once again clouded by Nischal’s troubles, and hearing the bit about feeling more like a guest than a roommate troubled her. She saw beyond his smile, not at all fooled by it in the least, and just like that, he was spilling his troubles onto her. And that was perfectly fine with Bethany… she only wanted to help.
She watched as he took a seat on the bed, paying little mind to the book he was holding as it was nothing to her in comparison to her friend’s troubles. She was afraid to admit that she knew little about romance and love, outside of the books she read, but that didn’t stop her from trying to analyze the situation and find a solution. It sounded like Nischal still held feelings for this guy, even when he knew the feelings weren’t mutual, and the solution was simply that Nischal needed to get over it. But it was far easier said than done, and it would take time. “So, you think focusing your attention into your studies will help distract you from him? That could work, but maybe you should try to do something with a more tangible outcome? Or at least an immediate one, that way you can get your mind off of him and gain a feeling of accomplishment while you do so?”
His rant about the heart vs the brain was a classic one, but one that would plague mankind for all eternity, Bethany thought to herself. And while emotions were scientifically located in the brain, she understood what he meant. She took a seat next to him, straightening out her dress as she asked, “What would you like to do before we study? What do you enjoy doing that has a physical outcome that you can admire afterwards? Because we don’t have to study just yet, you know...”
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Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2014 10:36 pm
As the weight of the bed shifted, Nischal couldn't stop his body from slightly dipping against Bethany's weight, and he leaned towards her, not bothering to stop when his head came to rest on her shoulder. He was perfectly content right here, hearing her breath, knowing that she was right there with him. Even if the entire world surrounded him, it would feel absolutely empty without anyone like Bethany around. He wasn't so alone even if it felt like it at times, and he knew that people like her would always be around.. Words could hardly express how he felt about it, so instead, he just remained silent for a few moments more.
In his silence, be began to think again. Thinking about what he had lost, thinking about all the sacrifices he had to make since he had last been part of the white moon. No family, no one to share those old memories with.. And all of it began to push him back into his hole, stepping on his thin, weak fingers and loosening his grip that he had on the edge. No, these thoughts weren't about to let him escape. He hadn't earned it. He did not belong outside of this hole.
"Bethany.. I just can't think anymore. It's like.. I'm looking through someone elses eyes.. And it hurts. It's not me, I can't seem to find any joy anymore.. I wish I could do what I used to love, dancing, playing games.. But what's the point in doing so? Am I even allowed to still enjoy such things..?"
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Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2014 1:14 pm
Bethany wasn’t bothered by the weight shift in the bed at all and less so when Nischal’s head came to rest against her shoulder. Some might have feared something intimate would have came out of such an interaction, but Bethany knew better. She didn’t move or shift around, not wanting to break the contact, especially if it soothed him. She hated seeing someone so bright and loving so distressed and though his hair tickled her neck, she held all of it in, to let him know that she was there for him.
He wasn’t talking, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes silence was a good sign- it meant that they were thinking to themselves, that they were considering their thoughts and words before they came out. Sure, there were others that fell back on silence and locked themselves away from the outside world, and reaching them would have been hard, but she just knew that he was thinking about what to say. He was thinking about what to do. Maybe he’d tell her and she’d be able to help him? The silence hardly bothered her, though she remained alert and on her toes (so to speak) for when he’d finally speak. Either the storm had passed and all would be well, or she had only reached the eye and the rest of the wave was about to hit with a vengeance… which would it be, she wondered.
Finally, her friend spoke up again, and what she heard made her sigh. Not out of annoyance or personal distress, but the pain and confusion she heard in his voice physically hurt her. It hurt to know someone else was suffering so much, and it hurt even more to not know of an immediate solution for their problem. What could she say or do to help him? She took in his words and tried to consider what was best to say, and when she did speak up again, she asked, softly, “Why do you feel that why? Why don’t you think you’re allowed to enjoy them? Because you know… you’re the only one who’s denying it. Why do you feel like you should deny yourself happiness when you worked so hard to obtain it?”
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 2:27 pm
"I don't know.. And I find it absolutely stupid that I can't figure it out.. I try and I try to think about it, to find a way to escape how badly my heart feels or how my mind can't wrap itself around my own usefulness.. But I always come to a dead end, to a point where I just can't see anything else except a just.. I don't know how to explain it, honestly.." The corners of his eyes were becoming damp, and his breathes were shaking.. Why couldn't he just let himself cry..?
"Bethany.. Thank you.. Even if I can't find a way to make myself feel any better.. Just knowing you are here, that you won't shout at me and hurt me.. It brings me some sort of comfort.. "
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 1:10 pm
"Nischal, I don't think it's physically possible for me to raise my voice at you, much less hurt you intentionally," Bethany said with a kind smile, not moving at all and hoping he was comfortable enough on his shoulder. She could hear the urge to cry in his voice and feel it in how he began to shake, and she didn't think ill of him for it. How could she? He needed comfort, not judgment, and if crying would help relieve that aching heart of his, than she'd gladly allow her shoulder to be soaked. She'd do that for her friend... "I'm the meekest thing and I couldn't even hurt a fly."
With her other hand, she brought it to cup his and gave it a gentle squeeze, hoping that by doing so, he'd know just how much she wanted to help him, how much she wanted him to help himself. "You're a kind and loving person, Nischal, and it sounds like you've been strong for such a long time that you think that crying is a sign of weakness. It's not. You're human, you're full of so much compassion and emotion that it sometimes bubbles over, and sometimes you just need to let it. Cry a little, if that's what your body wants and your mind needs to overcome this. Because you will in time... you'll get over this, accept it as a life lesson and you'll only be stronger because of it. You've already had to deal with more sacrifice and heartache than others have done in a lifetime, and you're still here. That's a victory, right?
"So... if you want to cry, just cry. If you want to just talk some more, then talk. Just know that I'm here for you, now and forever, or... at least as long as you're willing to put up with me."
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Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 9:34 am
Nischal couldn't bring himself to say anything.. He wanted to thank Bethany more, to grip tighter onto her and just "thank you" over and over and over again. She was precious and kinder than any person he had ever met.. Yet he couldn't say a word. His mouth opened but the sounds came out were a whimper. He struggled for so long, trying to form words, to hold back the growing pain in hist chest, but when finally allowed to cry, a sound unlike any he had heard before erupted from him, and he sobbed.
Why was he sobbing anyway? It wasn't because of Scott anymore, no, he didn't want to think about him. He hated him for being so cold.. And it wasn't because he was scared or tired. No, not at all.. He cried for Isha, for the boy who had to die in order for him to be where he was now. He cried for the fact that Bethany, so sweet, so kind, was forced into this world and the only thing that could come from it was pain. He cried for the loneliness that threatened to consume him still, even as his friend sat beside him, and he cried for the hopelessness of life as he knew it.
Who knew how long he cried for; even when his sobs subsided, he still cried silently on the girls shoulder, his hand balling up into a fist under hers. He'd have to protect her, to keep her safe, no matter what the costs. She was the only one he had left, even if he felt detached from her.
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Posted: Fri May 02, 2014 3:00 pm
She knew that him crying would help him in the long run and in theory, it was a good way of letting go of the past and the bitter emotions that came with it. She had read enough on the topic, both in non-fiction and even fiction, that this was the right thing to do and that bottling up ones troubles was only self destructive. In theory, this was what needed to happen in order for Nischal to move on, truly move on...
And yet, it was painful to hear. He had started crying and she had hoped that acting as his shoulder would be been enough, but maybe Bethany wasn't as strong as she thought she was. She could be kind, patience, quiet, but she wasn't void of emotions. She soaked them in like a sponge, to the point that she felt as though they were her own emotions, so Nischal's heart-wrenching sobs might as well have been hers. Still, as heartbreaking as it was to hear such sorrow come from her friend, she did not regret her actions and only tightened her hold on him, hoping that he'd know that she was still there for him.
"It's alright, Nischal... I'm here. It's alright," Bethany said, softly, gently, holding back her urge to want to cry along with him. She had to be strong for him, she told himself. How else could she even think to help him if she burst into tears as well? Remain strong, she told herself, as he continued to cry. When he was ready, she'd let him go, but until then, she'd remain there for him. Forever, if necessary.
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