Welcome to Gaia! ::

Week I
001. New Beginnings
002. Cause/Effect
003. Peace of Mind
004. Childhood Memories
005. Speed
006. Mayhem
007. Gilding a Lily

Week II
008. First Romance
009. Orchards
010. Disillusionment
011. Guardian Angels
012. Different Ways of Thinking
013. Consequence
014. Gratitude

Week III
015. Explosion
016. Money
017. Traveling Alone
018. Irony
019. Lust
020. Identity Crisis
021. Being Replaced

Week IV
022. Jealousy
023. Insanity
024. Snow Day
025. Sculpture
026. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
027. Monsters Under the Bed
028. Japan Earthquake and Tsunami

Week V
029. Wonder
030. Highs and Lows
031. Catastrophe
032. Betrayal
033. Rules
034. Tomorrow
035. Rock 'n' Roll

Week VI
036. Refugee
037. Queen of Hearts
038. Hangman
039. Magic Tricks
040. Radio
041. Prostitution
042. Celebrating a Birthday

Week VII
043. Swearing
044. Parade
045. Phobias
046. Suicide Notes
047. Emotional Paranoia
048. Missing Puzzle Pieces
049. Black Balloon

Week IIX
050. Graffiti
051. Empathy
052. Strangers
053. Pockets
054. Having a Stroke
055. Promises
056. Medicine

Week IX
057. Social Ladder
058. Four-Leafed Clover
059. Divorce and Separation
060. Brothers and Sisters
061. Perfume
062. Adoption
063. Blue Jeans

Week X
064. Paper Airplanes
065. Marijuana
066. An Open Door
067. Hiding Behind Lies
068. Archery
069. 1990s Cartoons
070. An Asian Food Market

Week XI
071. A Night to Remember
072. The Moon
073. Guidance
074. Dyed Flowers
075. Wheelchairs
076. Dedication Pages on Books
077. A Panic Attack

Week XII
078. Black and Blue
079. A Beautiful Place
080. Innocence and Guilt
081. Romance Addiction
082. Selfishness
083. Mockingbirds
084. Always a Bridesmaid

Week XIII
085. "Break a Leg"
086. Taking Initiative
087. College
088. Drama Queens
089. Unforeseen Tragedy
090. Loving Across Time
091. The Four Seasons

Week XIV
092. Abortion
093. Gunshots
094. A Masquerade
095. An Unexpected Twist on the Ending
096. Restless
097. Running Away
098. An Unknown Truth

Week XV
099. Persephone
100. Enlightenment
101. The Martyr
102. Alice in Wonderland
103. Wiseman
104. Natural Wonder
105. The Island


Week XVI
106. Eden
107. Drowning
108. Gamble
109. Thicker than Water
110. Clear Blue Sky
111. Rain
112. Halfway Home

Week XVII
113. Dead End
114. Stargazers
115. Insomnia
116. Skyscrapers
117. Butterfly
118. Smoke Screen
119. What Lies Beneath

Week XIIX
120. Losing Control
121. Unfaithful
122. Asylum
123. Injury
124. Karma
125. Dancing
126. Enchantment


Week XIX
127. Shadow
128. Red
129. Eagle
130. Extreme Behaviors
131. Soundtrack
132. Books
133. Lithium


Week XX
134. Paralysis
135. Holiday
136. Safety
137. Secret Wishes
138. Dishonor
139. Accusations
140. Motorcycle

week I
oo1: New Beginnings

Memory is such a fickle thing, is it not?

There's something about the way our thoughts hold onto people and events, mostly terrifying or spectacular, other times hidden beneath dust and chaos. He always supposed that memories are like distant ghosts pressing themselves against the windows of his soul - yes, they are lonely beggars of the night breathing fetid air near his ear and haunting, always haunting.

He gazes mournfully out the rain-splattered window and sees her reflection instead of his own - dark and strange and utterly beautiful, peering back at him as if from a two-way mirror. Another one of his ghosts cropping up when he least expects it. She looks the same as always; long red hair he can only associate with day-old roses, ivory skin, her sultry brown eyes surrendering to tiny flakes of gold.

He loved her, still loves her, even between the universal space of two and a half years. It may not seem long to many, but years without her is like spending an eternity without a single taste of Moët. It is surveying the bewitching architecture, the exquisite decor, of Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel, angels and cherubs and breathtaking beauty, and then watching it all crumble in the trembling palms of his hands. It is --

a man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "What's the difference between misery and pain?"
"What's that?" the bartender responds casually while he wipes yesterday's grime off a glass with a dirty dish towel; the man reminds the bartender of a cheesy joke, but restrains from voicing this comparison.
"No difference at all if there's no memory of it. You love her, yes? The problem is, she loves you too, and it's hurting her. If you love her, let her go."

After another exchange between the two, the man shakes the bartender's hand and they part ways. "Everything will be taking care of, son. She won't remember a thing."

He sits here at that same bar with a bottle of Jack Daniels Black perched on the counter before him, taking sips and occasionally glancing out the window with bloodshot eyes, willing the reflection of her to disappear, but it never does. And she always has that same sad smile she wore when he told her he was going "out"; she always knew what that meant, another girl in another roach motel, but she never raised a fuss because she loved him. She loved him, goddamnit, and there's nothing he can do about it now but to sit here. To sit here and drown himself in self-loathing, accompanied by his ol' friend Jack, the bottle that leers at him every time he wraps his shaking fingers around it.

A gorgeous red-head walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "May I take a seat?"

Another ghost pressing against one of his soul windows, he suspects - but she's different. Her hair is shorter, much shorter; it hangs in strawberry curls just below her ears and that ivory skin seems more bronzed. A nice, soft bronze.

Perhaps it's the intoxication or mere morbid curiosity, but he motions drunkenly to the barstool beside him and takes another long pull from the whiskey in blatant refusal to acknowledge her existence.

Surely it's his mind playing dirty tricks on him, but it's the ebbing ache in his chest that proclaims otherwise.

"I was just wondering - do you own this bar?" Same voice. He could taste those lips that voice just came from; honey sickle and caramel drops, the candies she used to constantly chew.

He turns to glance at her with a twitching smile, breathing in the familiar scent of lavender.

"Yes, I do," he struggles for coherence. She either pretends not to notice or doesn't care.

"Well... um, me and my girlfriends are planning a bachelorette party, and--"
(His soul cries out in anger, burning with fire and brimstone)
"--it's tomorrow. He wants to rent this place out for a bit, at a very reasonable price."

She's getting married now. How exciting.

"Sure," he replies, lifting the bottle in a one-sided cheers.
"To new beginnings," he slurs, and swigs the rest of the bottle.

As she is padding toward the door, she gives him one last backward glance and for a moment there's a shadow of that same sad smile she'd shared two years prior; "To new beginnings!" she calls out and then, just like the ghost of his memory, of that smile, she is gone.

"You have no idea," he mumbles with a staggering lilt; the liquor barely subdues the hollow sorrow creeping up from his stomach, spreading like wildfire across his chest.

Memory is such a fickle thing to her, but his remains unchanged.

week I
oo3: Peace of Mind

The pictures were always muddled but I could still feel the sadness radiating out from her like silent ripples in the air; it's second nature for someone's best friend to share their sadness - in turn, pain is a shareable cause. We were pathologically connected in many ways.

I laid my head down on her lap, letting a guttural whine caress her folded hands in long, tepid breaths. Long day, Master? I wanted to ask. The question escaped in a series of low barks from the back of my throat, a question that, though unheard, she was only too keen to answer.

"Long day, Champ."

Slender fingers sifted through coarse fur, dragging one way, then another. We gave each other comfort this way - it made my concerns and questions seem like trivial dreams. This, this right here, is what could be considered a perfect moment, a moment captured in my memory like a handprint in concrete.

It's a moment I could always look back on and extract a little peace of mind.