Luthe paced beside his lake, furious at himself. He never should have let this happen, hadn't he learned his lesson once before? The moment, the very instant when he started to feel stirrings, he should have sent her away. He'd taught her, she had an understanding of the symbols and their meanings, but he had kept her on, using practice and further training as an excuse to keep her near. He was a fool!
He stopped pacing and sat at the water's edge, one paw coming up to rub at his forehead. Such a fool. She wanted to find Atlantis, to... to what? Be a part of it? Surely she didn't want to simply prove its existence, there was no point whatsoever in that. No one cared. The Neled had been, were, are very wise, they know so much more than probably any other pride that he was aware of, but that was no reason to want to know about them. Even if another pride, or just a few usurpers thought that they could use what the remaining members of the Neled knew, he doubted they would be able to take knowledge. Besides, from what he's learned, it was so many more intellectual pursuits, not necessary for much else. Treasure, maybe battle tactics, but those were the only things he could think of that outsiders might want to take. So, yes, she had to be wanting to find them so that she could join a pride such as theirs. She would love it, living among lions like that. She seemed to value knowledge and history just as much as he did, if not more. If there were other lions like her out there, he could even perhaps see himself becoming some sort of teacher.
But he didn't really want another student; the stupid side of him only wanted her. Her enthusiasm, her wish to learn, her humor, even her willful stubbornness and confounded tendency to jump to the worst possible conclusions. What was the matter with him?
"Luthe..." Did he flinch when she'd said his name? No, he was more controlled than that. He let his paw drop and glanced over his shoulder, one eyebrow raised and mouth held in a line of mild and yet neutral curiosity.
"Done talking with Mzaa?" Tory felt her chest tighten slightly at how empty his words sounded. He was upset and for the life of her she wasn't entirely sure why. Was it because he had tried so hard not to let her know about Atlantis? No, it hadn't been that. He'd gotten upset when his mother said she could take her to see the pride. Was it that she was taking his mother away from him so soon? If that was the case, Tory had no problem waiting, letting them visit with one another for a while. It couldn't be her... could it? No, he didn't care about what she did. There had been a couple of times, when he had looked at her or said something or even a small touch, but no, he wasn't upset because she was leaving.
"Yes, your mother is very nice." He glanced away from her, back to the waters. A chill wind rippled across the glassy surface, causing her to shiver.
"Yes, she is. You two will be leaving soon, I imagine."
"When she leaves, yes, I suppose. Luthe, why won't you come with us?"
Why? There were so many reasons why he wouldn't come with. For one, he didn't belong there. He liked others, occasionally, but he wasn't like his mother. He couldn't change his coat to suit those around him, and even if he could, he doubted that he'd want to.
"This is my home, Tory. I've left it enough for one lifetime. I know it's hard to imagine, but..." He shook his head. He didn't belong down there, in that world. He didn't like it. Too many in that world, it was overwhelming. Good, bad, those lost in the middle, friends, enemies, seducers, it was too much for him. He'd grown up in solitude, that was how he wanted to live his life. He had his mother, Altair, Hermes. It would be wonderful to have his brother, his sisters back, he wouldn't see their return into his life as an imposition or burden. Tory... she wasn't an imposition either, but... He couldn't follow her out across the roguelands,
"I... understand." Did she? Did she really? Luthe spared her another glance and saw... something on her face. In his current mood he probably wouldn't have been able to read a look on his nyanya's face, much less Tory's. Not wanting to prolong this discussion any more than needed, he stood and rolled his shoulders slightly.
"I'm going to find supper. I shouldn't be too long," he said as he headed back into his den, his home, and removed his medallion, letter the cloak he wore slip from his shoulders. The necklace he wore stayed.
Tory watched him walk away, a part of her wanting to press him, to ask why he seemed so distant. After the days she had spent here, learning from him, getting to know him, he hadn't been like this since the beginning. Even then... this seemed different. A wall had been put up and she couldn't figure out how to take it back down.
Two days later, Luthe stood at the top of the path leading down his mountainside. Mzaa had decided not to visit for too long. She wanted to get back out, check out the prides, continue looking for his brother and sisters, etc. etc.... No, he knew better. His mzaa hadn't been to her birth pride since she was young. Hermes and Altair had been the ones to find out what had happened and found the new location of the remnants of her pride, her family. She hadn't seen the closest thing she'd had to a mother since she'd left in her youth. She deserved to see them again.
He'd said his goodbye to her, it wasn't a big deal, she would be back before long. She was only walking this time because Tory couldn't fly. ...Tory. Luthe watched as his mother walked away with Hermes, going a bit ahead, giving him a moment to say goodbye to her in private. Of course his mzaa would do that, she'd been meddling with the two of them ever since she'd arrived.
"Safe travels, Soteria," Luthe said, forcing a small smile on his maw. He could get through this.
"I will. I... Thank you for teaching me, Luthe."
"You're an apt student. It was my pleasure." The silence started to grow between them and he couldn't take it anymore.
"You should go ahead, catch up to Mzaa. She can set a fast pace without thinking about it." She nodded and turned away, heading after his mother. Luthe watched until she was out of sight. And then he moved away, to another part of his home so that he could continue watching as Mzaa led Tory out of his life until there was no place he could move to so that he could keep watching.
"... Come back to me..." Luthe's ears flicked back as his eyes closed.
(WC: 1,209)
