"Sir."

Robert was daydreaming.

There was nothing but wheat fields as far as the eye could see. "Sir." The sky was so clear, he couldn't look at it without feeling like he was going to fall up into it. "Sir?" Everything smelled like wheat, and he breathed it in deep. His stomach grumbled hungrily - and just like clockwork, someone was calling him home for dinner. He turned to run back home-

"SIR!"

He was not in a wheat field. In fact, if there was an opposite of a wheat field, this would be it. He was standing on a what looked to him like the fanciest crate he'd ever seen, and he was being measured by a short, bald man with several measuring tapes hanging off of his neck. Robert hadn't realized the man was trying to get his attention until he was yelled at, and he yelled back in surprise, nearly falling off the crate. "WHAT-SORRY. SORRY! What?"

"Did you hear what I said?" All of the salesman's patience was long gone. "They don't have the pants you picked out in your size. Would you like to pick another, or have me pick out one that comes in this length?"

"You don't have these pants in my size?"

"No sir."

"But you're a Big and Tall."

"Yes sir."

"You're a <********' Big and Tall."

The salesman sighed sharply in annoyance. "It isn't like we don't have your size all the time, sir. We are simply out of these particular pants in that particular size, on this particular day. Would you like to order them from our online catalog?"

Robert slumped as a wave of laziness hit him. "God, just.. just... God. Fine. Any black pants in my size will do. But I'm only taking one pair instead of three like I said."

"Very good sir." The salesman stood to hurriedly find the pants, and Robert yelled at his back. "AND I MAY OR MAY NOT COME BACK!"

He'd be back.

Fifteen minutes later, Robert left the Big and Tall in the mall with two bags, and looked very proud of himself. He was going shopping! He needed all new clothes, and while normally he hated shopping, he felt a strange surge of excitement about it this time around. A whole new wardrobe was like buying a whole new life. He'd even bought a suit! It was dark blue and it came with a Futurama tie - okay, it hadn't come with the tie.. but he'd bought it to wear anyway. Bender was repeated all down the tie while sticking his rear out. IT WAS PERFECT.

He'd also bought two pairs of jeans, a pair of nice shoes, and a new pair of sneakers - his looked absolutely terrible. But Big and Tall was just not prepared for Robert's love of t-shirts. Thankfully, the mall was a vast, enormous wasteland of frivolity. He was certain to find all he needed, there.

His next stop was an Auntie Anne's. This was obviously an important stop - he needed to refuel after that harrowing experience. That man had measured his in-seam. Robert tried to block out the memory, and ordered three sour cream 'n onion pretzels with two cheese sauces, and a giant sized soda. He carried his snack over to a table, and inhaled the tasty treat while people watching.

There were so many people about.

Each and every one of them were going about their business, living their lives, burdened with bills and payments and children and school and work and life. He made up little stories for each and every one.

-The bald-headed man hovering near the bouncy castle was a total pervert; was he even wearing anything under that overcoat?!

-The mother with four kids was divorced, and every single one of those kids had a different father. She looked so tired.

-Were those kids smoking? They were going to get in so much trouble. Robert imagined their parents were the kind who would buy a pack of cigarettes and shove them all into their mouth to teach them a lesson. He laughed at the thought.

His pretzels were done, so he wiped his face clean with a napkin, and threw away his garbage. His next stop was a terrible looking store that only sold t-shirts. This was his heaven - he was ready to drown in the off brand t-shirts with logos and funny sayings.

He bought several.

This one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one because it's true. He also picked up this one, this one, this one, this one, and this one had him riotous with laughter. So he bought it too. This one was true. This one seemed strangely appropriate, and he just bought this one because he knew Mimsy would like it. Then he bought Mimsy a shirt, and another for good measure.

But before he left, he found his perfect shirt, and wore it out. He felt like the entire visit had been a waste, because he was never going to take this shirt off again.

The bulk of his shopping was done. It was time to get more ridiculous things! He made a beeline for the TOYS R'US, burdened with bags of clothing. He grabbed a shopping cart, put all of his bags in it, and then began to roam the aisles.

His first stop was the Learning and Educational toy department.

Studying had become a chore. Clarice's programs were running out, even though he just repeated them because it made him feel closer to her. He had to find something that was going to take him further, but just sitting in his room reading was the most boring thing ever. Toys had to be the answer!

So he picked up an electronic learning center, and promised himself he'd scrounge up some runic batteries somewhere. But as he walked out of the aisle, he came across something that stopped him in his tracks, and decided he very much needed this, as well.

The rest of the toy store was just a haven of distraction, as he played with the action figures on display, making them crash into one another. A young boy showed him how to use the new Nintendo DS they had set up, and soon enough Robert was trying to throw a Master Ball at a Pikachu. The boy left, disgusted by the waste.

Hours later, he was politely asked to leave, and decided it was time for another snack break!

This time it was pizza. Robert hadn't had Sbarro's in a long time, and he agonized over every bite. A mother shoo'd her two children away in horror when they passed too close and Robert let out a moan of delight. But three slices and a giant Sprite later, Robert was back on the prowl. He'd gotten everything he needed, but that just left the rest of the day open for things he didn't need.

The giant, hulking figure had several of the sales assistants in the Hallmark store cringing with fear. He was literally the picture of a Bull in a China shop. He kept lumbering through the aisles filled with tiny knick knacks, picking them up and looking at their price tags. Every time his body came near a case, they all simultaneously sucked in a held breath. When he walked past it unharmed, they breathed it out at last.

Robert did not break anything, despite how close he'd come. He dropped two small boxes at the register - in them were two very beautiful unicorns. Both were delicate, and completely unsuited for him. The cashier asked if they were presents for his daughter, and he smiled, and shook his head. They didn't need to know they were for him.

When Robert left the Hallmark store, he stared in surprise at the store directly across from him. It wasn't a typical looking store, and he knew it had to be new. The sign was fancy and lit up all sorts of ways - and in its windows were tons of space related memoribilia. It was a NASA store, and Robert let out a soft awww of regret. If only Mimsy had been there with him.. she would have been so happy.

He decided to enter it in her stead, and try to enjoy himself for her sake.

The NASA store was just a big toy store, after all. They had rocket sets, and glow in the dark stars for your ceiling, and all sorts of alien plushies. They even had toy astronaut helmets for a child. Robert was filling a basket with freeze dried ice cream when he realized there was a section behind the counter with things that didn't look like toys - and he headed over to investigate. Sure enough, the cashier informed him that they were selling authentic pieces of meteorites - at ridiculous prices. He couldn't force himself to look away, because he knew this was the kind of thing Mimsy would love. He took a deep breath, and asked the question he knew he would regret.

"You got any moon rocks?"

Just as he expected, meteorites from the moon were the most expensive of all. They had two kinds - one was the size of a crumb, and it was seventy dollars. The other was their 'large' pieces, locked away behind glass. Those were the size of a quarter, and they cost a whopping three hundred dollars. It came in a fancy little case with a picture of a man on the moon next to the flag, and it was just perfect.

Robert bought the gift without hesitation. All of the freeze dried ice cream came, too.

When he left the store, he felt like he was walking on air. He hadn't expected to find the perfect gift for Mimsy at a simple mall, but he had. And now there was just one thing left to do.

He headed to a corner of the food court, and sat down. This time, he ordered no food. He just settled all of his bags around him, and waited. Every so often, he looked at the clock on the wall to check the time, and his heart thudded in excitement.

Four thirty three p.m.

He could hear the silly choo-choo of the colorful train that drove through the mall, carrying all the little children around for a joy ride with their parents. The train was set on specific intervals, and it was right on time. He was as far away from the train aisle as he could be, but his view was clear, and he watched the train drive past. His eyes squinted as he looked in each car, until the fourth one came into view. A mother held her daughter in her arms - God, she was so big now, she almost looked too big to enjoy things like this - and he watched René wave like a queen to all of the people the train passed. He wondered how much longer she was going to insist she be taken for a train ride every Saturday right before dinner. She'd grow out of those childish desires any day now. Her mother looked as though she was taking advantage of the moments while they lasted - and Robert knew he would have, too. René pushed the hat she was wearing - a silly looking panda hat - out of her eyes, and turned to tell her mother something - it felt like she was looking right at him -

His face broke into a giant, proud smile.

He waited until the train was completely out of sight, before he got up, gathered all of his bags, and headed to one last store. He'd seen it before, but there'd been no point to enter. Now, there was a point.

When Robert left the mall and touched his pendant, he was proudly sporting one adult sized panda hat - and the hat, much like his new shirt, was not coming off anytime soon.