|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Jan 25, 2014 8:44 am
xx A D V E N T ҉ C H R O N I C L E S __________________________________________________________ .. " God forbid, Hell's fire burn" ╔═══════ x ═══════╗ Raion Saitō ╚═══════ x ═══════╝ 
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 25, 2014 9:29 am
xx Raion Saitō
"May the blood of those who oppose me stain my blade."
___________________________________________________________________ ..
Basic Criteria
Name | Nishi Hoshigaki
Alias| Lotus, Heaven
Gender | Male
Race | Shinigami
Affiliations | Shinigami
Rank Held | Vice Captain
.. _______________________
Numerical Files
Birth Date | June 21
Astronomical Sign | Cancer
Age | 300
.. _______________________
Physical Attributes
Blood Type | O+
Height| 6'7
Weight | 210
Ethnicity | Japanese
Eye Color | Green
Physical Description| Nishi is a rather tall man with a slender semi-muscular build. The right side of his body contains several tattoos covering his entire right arm and chest. Nishi keeps short kept spikey white hair and oftens wears headbands on both of his hands. His body can be found with several scars from his former life.
Wardrobe | Nishi typically wears his kimono with his right arm out. Other than this his is either dressed in very casual wear or is shirtless.
Captain Haori style »
Haori Underside Color »
Lieutenant Badge Location » Tied around left arm.
.. _______________________
Personal Attributes
Quirks
What makes YOU different?
Raion is very energetic and playful. Raion is an advant flirt and though he lives life with a refuse to be tied to down he flirts with almost all women he comes across.He has no problem chilling around and having fun but when it comes to battle even a friendly spar he becomes a very different person. He pulls no punches even against friends which can sometimes can prove to be his biggest problem. When not fighting Raion is rather loud and rowdy . He is very talkitive and would rather add comentary and add his two cents into everything then sit in silence.
Favors |
-Ramen
-Even numbers
-Women
-Fighting
-Training
Disdains |
-Quite
-Disobedience
-Odd numbers
-Boring people
Preference of Food |
- Spicy foods
-Ramen
-Meat
Disliked Foods |
-Cheese
-Many vegetables
Preference of Drink |
-Sake
-Orange Juice
-Water
.._______________________
Something Unknown
Fears |
-Hyenas
Aspirations |
-To simply find a purpose
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 25, 2014 10:14 am
xxA soul without a purpose
____________________________________________________________ .. Chapter One A spawn born to hell
290 Years ago... Nishi Hoshigaki grew up in the gutters, among those regarded as the 'scum' of society. Nishi was always a problem child. Growing up where rules were a foreign concept Nishi was starting fights and showing little respect to anyone. His mother died giving birth and his father the only person he ever showed a shred of respect to and the only person who could have changed Nishi died when he was 10 found dead in the streets, a site so common here no one made an effort to find his killer. With no one to correct him or set him straight now Nishi found himself slipping deeper and deeper into destruction and soon he abandonned all morals completely. They only hindered him in a world where it was kill or be killed.
Chapter 2 A small town crook
283 Years ago...
Nishi had taken the skills he taught himself and grew to become a thief and a small time crook. He ended up finding a gang that were doing small time robberies and seeing the potential for a lot of money, he wanted in. Him and the group ran together for awhile but they were average and ended up getting too cocky. One night on a job they decided to try taking a bank, this however ended in them all being arrested as one of them carelessly set of a silent alarm and the police arrived on scene while they were in the middle of loading the money. Nishi was sentenced to 7 years in prison. As is the problem prison did little to deter him and instead by talking to fellow inmates Nishi learned more. Upon his release he needed straight back to the only life he knew this time smarter and more skilled.
Chapter 3 Sword for hire
276 Years ago...
Since his time in prison Nishi had sharpened up on his fighting skills. Nishi began attemtping to make a name for himself and eventually his fighting and swordsmanship led him to take up jobs as a Merc and a bodyguard for the wealthy. Throughout Nishi's Careers he took many jobs considered to be suicide missions. For every Suicide mission he seemed to return with a new scar but he wore each scar with pride. Nishi became ruthless and gained a body count to his name. But with his new brutal personality he started to become reckless again. Passing through borders his vehicle was stopped and inspected. Nishi was transporting arms for a very wealthy man and not wanting to be found out and he attempted to speed off before the man could check the back of his car. Police chased Nishi down and eventually had him surrounded. Nishi feeling as though he'd rather die then go back to prison opened fire on the surrounding officers. Nishi killed 7 police officers more than enough reason for any officer able to to kill him on the spot just as he'd hoped, but instead the an officer managed to detain him and brought him in. Nishi was locked away for life, the only thing saving him from death being the state laws. While serving his sentence Nishi became affiliated with even worse people then before and an already bad place his life spiraled even further downward. In prison your affliation was everything and you had to follow rules or pay the consequences. Knowing this Nishi openly participated in a prison riot which ended up in the deaths of 13 officers. Because of this Nishi was placed in the hole for the rest of his life sentence. This led to Nishi's fear of the dark and eventually as his sentenced impied prison is where he from there on out lived and where he died at the age of 63.
Chapter 4 Rebirth
237 Years ago...
It appeared Nishi had been given a second chance. This time he wanted to do something different. He wanted to find a purpose. New to the world for awhile he spent his time as simple a wandering soul until he heard about the Gotei 14. He had heard that the captain of Squad 10 was looking for a Lieutenant and was willing to fight anyone to see if they were worthy. Nishi knew it was a long shot but in his former life he had prided himself on his sword skills and went for it. Nishi making his way challenged the captain of squad 10. The captain looked him over as simply trash and was determined to end the fight quickly. Underestimating Nishi turned to be his biggest mistake though as Nishi was a lot more powerful then meets the eye. After a grueling battle Nishi lay defeated but the Squad 10 captain did not win a perfect victory and his body too contained marks of the battle. Amazed with Nishi and his capabilites he instead of throwing Nishi back into the gutters he called home, gave him the offer of being his lieutenant. Bloody and dazed Nishi hardly had to think the offer over. Return back to the trash and become a purposeless nobody or take this chance to change his life. Nishi agreed and so he lived his life among the Gotei 14 as the Lieutenant of squad 10.
"This time he wanted to do something different. He wanted to find a purpose."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 25, 2014 5:57 pm
xx Arekuruu Raion
___________________________________________________________ ..
A sheep in Lion's clothes could never be as scary as the Lion itself.
Zanpakutō Name | Arekuruu Raion
English Translation | Raging Lion
Zanpakutō Element | Shadow
Zanpakutō Spirit | Spirit
Zanpakutō Inner World | Spirit World
_________________________..
Spirit Files
Zanpakutō Blade Type | Black and White standard katanas
Zanpakutō Accessories | Both katanas have a chain connected to the buttcap. (Not linking them together.)
Zanpakutō Sealed Appearance | Twin Katanas
Blade Color » Silver
Sheath Color » 1 Black 1 White
Hilt Color » Black
Tsuba Shape » Swirl
Length » 25"
_________________________..
Shikai Files
Zanpakutō Activation Statement | "Come out from hiding and tear them apart Arekuruu Raion!"
Zanpakutō Blade Changes | 
The two twin blade katanas become two steel gloves that wrap automatically around Raion's hands. The gloves are equipped with retractable claws.
Shikai Abilities
Ability One:
Kage no kemono(Shadow beast):
This ability can activated at any time and lasts 8 posts. With the activation of this ability comes a loud roar. During this time Raion is given a speed boost, strength boost, jump height increase, and hearing boost. Raion is able to run a lot faster reaching able to reach speeds up to 50 mph but only when on all fours. Raion is also able to hit a lot harder cable of denting hard metal with a single punch and can break bone. Raion's body also toughens up a bit and can withstand slightly more damage. Raion can also jump upwards to 9ft. allowing him to leap into the air and slam back down with crushing force. Raion's hearing is increased but only slightly above that of the average human. Raion's teeth become sharpened and can cut deep into human flesh, once bitten though Raion is not able to move his jaw and can only inflict pain not tear flesh. Kage no kemono can only be used once.
Ability Two:
Dākushīrudo(Dark Shield):
Raion is capable of creating a circular shield in front of him which protects his entire front from oncomming attacks. This shield requires both hands making Raion in capable of attacking while holding the shield up. This attack has a 3 posts cooldown.
Shikai Control Level | Unmastered
Shikai Duration | 15 posts
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 25, 2014 6:43 pm
xxARCANE REAPER TALENTS
_____________________________________________________..
Cower under the presence of my power
Kido Background Knowledge | Nishi does not make kido his main focus but he knows enough kido to defend himself should he find himself in combat without his zanpakuto.
Kido Expertise | Average
_________________________..
Kido Known
Bakudō Known |
#01 Sai
#08 Seki
#09 Geki
#14 Amekaze
#21 Sekienton
#81 Danku
Hadō Known |
#01 Sho
#04 Byakurai
#15 Go ken
#31 Shakkaho
Incantation: "Ye lord! Mask of blood and flesh, all creation, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man! Inferno and pandemonium, the sea barrier surges, march on to the south!"
#33 Sokatsui
Incantation: "Ye lord! Mask of flesh and bone, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man! Truth and temperance, upon this sinless wall of dreams unleash but slightly the wrath of your claws."
#58 Tenran
Kaidō Known |
None
Forbidden Spells Known |
None
_________________________..
Shinigami Abilities
Zanjutsu | Nishi is a master at Zanjutsu, and due to being in squad 10 he's taken great pride in the mastery of Kendo. Nishi's fighting style is to overwhelm his opponent and confuse them with his unorthodox stance and strikes. Nishi's strikes are not the most powerful but he makes up for this by confusing his opponent with his strange, off balance swings and running, random seeming movements, and speed. Speed is most important to his fighting and is by far his strongest advatange over his opponent.
Hakuda | Much like his sword fighting he impliments the same confusing movements into his hand to hand combat. Nishi does not pack as much power in a punch as most so speed and confusion is his main focus. Because Nishi is ambidextrous Nishi switches between a Southpaw stance and a typical stance to throw off his opponent. To go along with the already hard to deal with Southpaw Nishi fights with a style only comparable to that of a alchoholic, a stumble and off balance type of fighting. Though it appears random and as though he is intoxicated sometimes he is always in control of his movements and uses it to throw the opponent off of where to strike and how to handle such an opponent.
Hohō | Unlike his kido Nishi is a master at speed and Shunpo is his strongest tool against his opponent. Using a combination of mix ups and Shunpo Nishi attempts to overwhelm his opponent before they can quite figure out what he's doing.
Durability | Nishi's body is able to take an amazing amount of strikes given his size but because of his utilization of speed in his attacks he tires much faster than the average shinigami.
Reiryoku | Nishi has a very high spiritual pressure for that of a lieutenant but he tends to do a good job keeping it under wraps most of them time. If released fully Nishi could weigh down most of his rank with it alone though his is no where as potent as that of a captain.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 4:32 pm
xxxxxxPERSONAL INFORMATION ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ▃▃▃ ▃▃▃▃
My only concern is in regards to the bio; in this guild, we have the Gotei 14 not the Gotei 13.
Other than that, I pass this section.
xxxxxxZANPAKUTO DETAILS ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ▃▃▃ ▃▃▃▃
**I'll be reviewing the Shikai and Bankai separately
SHIKAI
Please rewrite the cool downs as posts rather than minutes. Other than that, the abilities are passable.
Lastly, Shikai is not completely mastered. You must train with a Captain to master it. Until then, you get either a 10 or 15 post limit.
BANKAI
xxxxxxSHINIGAMI ABILITIES ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ▃▃▃ ▃▃▃▃
This section is okay, but I'd say change the Kido Expertise level since his skill set are that of an average Kido practitioner.
Also, you need to at least be average in one of the sections rather than a master in all.
Please make the edits I've stated then re-quote me for re-approval.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 4:43 pm
Onin Harashi Tsuna xxxxxxPERSONAL INFORMATION ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ▃▃▃ ▃▃▃▃
My only concern is in regards to the bio; in this guild, we have the Gotei 14 not the Gotei 13.
Other than that, I pass this section.
xxxxxxZANPAKUTO DETAILS ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ▃▃▃ ▃▃▃▃
**I'll be reviewing the Shikai and Bankai separately
SHIKAI
Please rewrite the cool downs as posts rather than minutes. Other than that, the abilities are passable.
Lastly, Shikai is not completely mastered. You must train with a Captain to master it. Until then, you get either a 10 or 15 post limit.
BANKAI
xxxxxxSHINIGAMI ABILITIES ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ▃▃▃ ▃▃▃▃
This section is okay, but I'd say change the Kido Expertise level since his skill set are that of an average Kido practitioner.
Also, you need to at least be average in one of the sections rather than a master in all.
Please make the edits I've stated then re-quote me for re-approval.
I've made the changes and reworded the durability since what I was trying to say all along was that his durability was below average/average everything else is the skill level it is to make up for his lack of kido experience because he is a lot more of a sword/melee fighter who relies on speed then a great Kido user. If you do not agree with this however simply tell me the changes and I shal comply.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 4:18 pm
It has come to attention that your Zanpakuto is basically an exact copy of an already existing weapon of the Naruto world. While I'm not savvy with the Naruto-sphere, upon further investigation, it can be noted that the blade revolves around these abilities:
xx
xx
This being said, you will need to create a new blade for I won't allow the current one. You can modify it by either getting a new skill set or altering what the parasol can do. Until then, your profile is not approved.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 9:20 pm
Onin Harashi Tsuna
It has come to attention that your Zanpakuto is basically an exact copy of an already existing weapon of the Naruto world. While I'm not savvy with the Naruto-sphere, upon further investigation, it can be noted that the blade revolves around these abilities:
xx
xx
This being said, you will need to create a new blade for I won't allow the current one. You can modify it by either getting a new skill set or altering what the parasol can do. Until then, your profile is not approved.
Understood, Naruto was a bit of the inspiration for the character's powers since I had envisioned him holding 2 umbrella's and all his powers revolve around this but I can surely rework, will be starting from the bottom and building up though.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 9:21 pm
Sorry to make you start over, we just gotta keep it fair.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 9:32 pm
Onin Harashi Tsuna Sorry to make you start over, we just gotta keep it fair.
No no I completely understand sweatdrop it doesn't matter where my character's picture comes from does it, as long as the character himself is kept 100% original?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 9:32 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 11:50 pm
I've made changes. I got rid of my third attack so my character didn't come off as OP. My first ability may seem op through a first read but I tried to keep it as balanced as possible with only minor bonuses but everything that I have there are the true powers of a Lion which is the entire basis of this character, hence his name and zanpakuto.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 9:48 am
Thank you for making the edits, again.
My only concern lies with the ability of a sight/smell boost. I feel it doesn't fit in with the Zanpakuto altogether and really overpowers the ability altogether. I request you remove these two specs. and you'll be good to go for role playing.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
