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 Posted: Tue Jan 21, 2014 5:10 pm
It had been just over a week since things had gone quite interestingly in a certain alleyway, leaving all parties involved plenty of time to think, when there was a light rapping on Rajani’s bedroom window. The rook didn’t often make many deliveries, usually preferring to go see his lady love, but today, carefully tied around Shuu’s foot, was a message.
Rajani,
If you have the time, I’d like to have lunch. Reply with a date you’re free and I’ll be more than happy to prepare.
-Rosalie
Free food was usually a good sign, and indeed, if the gypsy specified a date, preparations would be made. The forge had been cleaned completely, ceiling, windows, and floor spotless. The old wooden table had been cleaned up, a widespread, even fancy array of food set out carefully. A kettle was warming over the fire, and below it in the coals was nestled a small box of melting metal. The smith had been long at work, it seemed, given the number of items set out carefully in display case and shelves alike, much more than usual. There was also a rather disturbing number of empty wine bottles neatly set aside in a corner, and given they had not been there a week earlier, one could guess how they came to be.
As for the smith herself, well…Rosalie was feeling under the weather. She’d been working herself to the bone, whether it be reading stories like Raj had asked her to, or forging whatever she pleased. While low on commissions for the moment, she had taken the time to replenish her stock instead, though it seemed to be a bit too much for just that. No, forging helped her straighten out her mind. After all that had happened, she had needed to think for a while, even requesting that the twins let her be for a weeks time, though knowing Last, that hadn't quite worked out. She couldn’t get how hurt Rajani had been out of her head. Had she made the right choice? Was there something she could have done otherwise? And she didn't even want to think about First.
Everything was just spinning in her head again, and she stopped to sit down, head in her hands. She was so nervous she felt like throwing up. Of course, she’d felt like throwing up for quite a while now, given the fever she’d seemed to develop. But the gypsy was far more important than her health at the moment, and for now, she’d wait.
Aelius didn’t much care for his chosen working herself like this, not when she was sick! He had tried to urge her back upstairs to go lay down many times now, but she was just as stubborn as a log! He could only hope Rajani and Oberon could talk her into doing so, he really didn’t want to see what would eventually happen when she was too sick to stand. Important or not, Raj could wait until his smith recovered, right? Laying his head in her lap, he huffed, deciding to give what comfort he could, hoping she wouldn’t end up vomiting on him.
She already had once yesterday, and it had not been pleasant for either of them.
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Posted: Tue Jan 21, 2014 11:31 pm
The gypsy had not been entirely certain what to think when the rook had appeared on her sill. On the one hand, she strongly considered sending him away without a reply. After all, she was still in her self-imposed exile, and not at all certain that she was ready to break it, even for Rosalie. On the other hand, she could hardly avoid everyone forever, and out of all the involved parties, Rosa seemed the least daunting obstacle to peace of mind. Perhaps it would not be so terrible to get this meeting over with. If nothing else, she could use it as a measuring stick - a good sign if it went well, and an excellent reason to leave the city for a while if it went poorly. So, she sent her reply with a date for the very next day. It wasn't as though she had any pressing engagements lined up. ~ ~ ~ At the appointed time, the gypsy found herself hesitating outside of Rosalie's shop. Was she ready for this? Which emotion would win out once she saw the smith? Even Rajani herself could not guess. She was still far from calm. Not that she was ever the most serene person, regardless of circumstances. Certain revelations had been had, it was true, but that did not necessarily mean that emotion would follow quite so neatly. Oberon allowed her a moment to compose herself before gently nudging her in the back, encouraging her to move forward. In a slightly uncharacteristic show of restraint, he was respecting his Chosen's feelings on certain matters and not broadcasting his opinions loud enough for the world to hear. However, it did not change the fact that he approved of Rosalie neatly taking care of both of the twins. Two less men in the world for him to worry about, in his opinion. Of course, her actions had still hurt Rajani, so he was not going to let her off the hook so easily, either. Reaching up to stroke his velvety nose, Rajani straightened her spine and made those final steps to the door. Time for some answers.
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Posted: Tue Jan 21, 2014 11:52 pm
She was sighing and feeling her forehead again when the door finally opened. Still running a fever. This wasn't good, not good at all, but she wasn't about to hush the gypsy out of her shop for this! Not after all she'd gotten ready. Finally hearing the door, she sat up a little, slightly lethargic. Customer or Raj?
Rajani it was. She couldn't even think of the right words for a few moments, only able to meet her eyes for a few moments before lowering them to the floor, unsure what to say or think herself. Getting to her feet, she let her hands meet behind her back, glancing up once more to try and gauge how her dearest friend was feeling. As usual, it was difficult to get a read on her, but...if she had to guess it wasn't anything good.
"Thank you for coming I....Wouldn't have held it against you if you didn't." She finally said after a moment, eyes still on the floor. She tried to hold herself normally, though the slight lethargy of her current health kept sneaking through slowly. "Please, make yourself comfortable, I got a little bit of everything."
Aelius sighed, getting to his feet as well, clearly unhappy about the meeting, though only because his chosen should be resting. However, upon noticing Oberon too had decided to join them, he straightened up more, almost in a salute. Indeed, he'd kept himself to the routine of exercise, and had started to gain a bit of muscle from doing so! He would gladly continue too, it was nice.
There was, however, a slight whine when the smith offered the stag an apple, the shiniest red apple Aelius had ever seen. No fair!
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Posted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 3:37 am
Though she noticed that Rosalie did not look herself, that was hardly a surprise. The smith was no doubt having as hard a time of it as the gypsy. However, Rajani was in no particular mood to deeply sympathize, nor was she in a fit state to make a study of just how tired the other woman looked.
Instead, she said nothing, simply taking a chair and looking the food over. Somehow, she found that she did not have much of an appetite.
It was Oberon who noticed the bottles piled in the corner - no doubt a contribution to her current state - and the excess of new, shiny things decorating the shop. He snorted disapprovingly at the bottles, but accepted the proffered apple regardless. Then, he turned his attention on Aelius, who, though as young and ridiculous as ever, seemed to at least be keeping up his training. That was good. The stag did hate to waste good work.
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Posted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 4:13 am
There was a brief moment the smith followed Oberon's gaze to the bottles, then she huffed, rolling her eyes. "Oh hush, it's about the only thing that helps." She mutters, letting him take the apple before slowly wandering over to a shelf and picking up what looked to be a tiny bundle of silk, bringing it over before carefully sitting down herself opposite Rajani. It takes a few moments before she sighs, obviously guilty over the whole thing.
"Raj, I'm so sorry." She shakes her head after a while, resting her elbow on the table, "This is all my fault. I did some things I shouldn't have, things I can't take back now, and I've gone and hurt everyone because of it." Rosalie obviously feels terrible about the whole thing, though she's not done yet. "Though, I'll admit, if things do end up working out between everyone in a way that both of them will still, well, for lack of better terms want to, augh..." She can't seem to find the right words, and her head is in her hand again, "Want to be with me I guess? I guess that works, doesn't it? ...Then I won't go and break their hearts again." There's a few deep breaths that show she hasn't quite stopped hurting over it yet, regardless of how much wine she's managed to consume or how much smithing she'd done.
"But I've gone and hurt my best friend through it all too." There's the slightest of glances up to Rajani, though it's far more unsure and shy than what she's seen of her before. "And that hurts more than anything. Raj I'm so sorry. I've gone and completely ******** everything up, and I'm so scared I've lost our friendship through it all too. Please, don't hold back if you need to scream at me, if you need to hurt me, even if it doesn't end up with us still being friends, I promise I can take it, I'll still admire you and work for you." She means every single word, every last one, and the pain just shows across her face. She obviously hasn't had the time to talk things over with anyone else, not that she can remember at the least, which might just prove Rajani's importance to her. "Just please forgive me."
She's unsure how she made it through all that with just a few tears. Hell, she's even surprised she has a few still left in her. But there's another moment before she finally offers up the cloth in one hand, carefully uncovering a silver hair pin, ever so carefully detailed with the tiniest and most elegant of swirls, with a green jewel carefully placed at the end. "And even if you won't have it, this was made with you in mind. I know you don't care much for the impractical so..." She breathes, and ever so carefully draws from the top of the pin, extracting a blade from its sheath, "I made it a little more to your tastes." How long had this taken? It surely had taken a careful hand to forge something this tiny. If Rajani did take it, it would be balanced just perfectly for stabbing someone who would displease her on a whim, but still not too heavy to be used as a pin nonetheless.
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Posted: Mon Jan 27, 2014 4:40 pm
Thinking of another woman who had been imbibing too heavily of the drink, Oberon was inclined to disagree. Soibhan had almost paid very dearly for her chosen method of coping. However, he declined to comment, instead allowing Rajani to deal with the woman.
"I don't want your apologies," she said, for indeed it was true. The sense of betrayal she had felt upon learning the truth was still present, but that did not mean she had any right to the feeling. She didn't deserve any apologies and she didn't need them. Words meant little to her.
That said, she was not certain what to make of Rosalie's profession of friendship. Under other circumstances...well, she was not even certain what she would have done then. But at the moment, the confession failed to move her in ay direction. She frowned.
"I don't want pretty words and empty promises. I don't want you to beg for forgiveness or play the martyr and act like everything's your fault. You hurt them," she said. "After you promised not to, you hurt them." Rajani could have laughed. Hypocrite. Wasn't her rejection of First the impetus that had started this whole thing? But she didn't want to think about that just then.
"He's young and stupid and fragile," she said, and there could be no question that she was referring to the elder Fred. "You cannot jump headfirst into a relationship with him and expect everything to be alright. You need to be gentle and patient, and know when to hit him over the head." The gypsy met Rosalie's eyes with a hard stare.
"And you need to understand that if you keep going like you are and blunder around without thinking, you could tear them apart. A woman is one of the only things that could. Even more than most twins, they are part of each other. There are no words to describe what it would do to them if they were separated. It would rend their souls.
"So don't you sit there looking like someone kicked your puppy and tell me you won't do it again. You'd better damn well understand what you're taking on before you even consider going back to them."
At last, she took the delicate little hair bauble and extracted the blade. It was such a tiny thing. It looked like any little thing would break it. However, when she tested it, she found it surprisingly unyielding. It was strong.
"I told you once to treat Last right," she reminded the smith. Doubtless Rosalie's support beams were still scarred from the experience. "If anyone else had pulled this, they wouldn't be in any position to be talking right now."
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Posted: Sun Feb 02, 2014 6:43 pm
If it had been any other time, she might have gladly taken the scolding and murmured a 'yes Raj, of course Raj', perhaps fearing the blade would come down into her table. Any other time she might have winced and cowered further before the woman. But perhaps it was the fever, the exhaustion, anything else, that made the situation different.
"Then perhaps you should take your own words to heart, Raj." There really wasn't any anger in it, not this time. "I'm not the one who hurt him in the first place, if you remember. I'm not the one who threw him in the river. You're the one who decided to hurt him first, and sure, I made my own mistakes, but at least I own up to mine."
Last had been right, it wasn't all her fault, but she hadn't helped any in the matter. It wasn't all Raj's fault either, but she couldn't just shove all of the blame on to her. She hadn't exactly asked for what had happened that night to happen, it just had, and she had allowed it.
"It's not entirely your fault either, I'm not saying that, but hell, Raj, you can't just ignore what happened. We've both hurt him, hell, he won't even talk to Last. But we've all got to realize this before we can start trying to make the whole thing better." At the least, the important little bits and pieces of that night hadn't been lost, or at least she thought she remembered most of them. One thing was for sure, she sure wasn't going to guzzle a whole bottle of wine again. Half a bottle would do her perfectly fine, she'd found.
"I'm at least going to try and talk to him, but I want to let things settle a little bit more, and I wasn't about to go and do anything without talking to you first. I don't even know if he'd see me, considering...." She didn't even know how she'd go about it. Hadn't Last said something about him being somewhere else? Maybe? God, maybe she had forgotten some of what he'd said.
Having dried her tears, the smith for once wasn't afraid to meet her gaze, holding it back with one of her own. There was a definite satisfaction as Rajani observed her handiwork, though still a slight tenseness to her, wondering if she'd accept the gift. Even so, her eyes seemed to falter just the slightest, like maybe there was some sort of haze and she couldn't quite focus on anything.
"I have no doubt anyone else would have already met my handiwork." There was a slight nod to the blade as Rajani tested it, leaning forward on the table to watch. "I'll treat them right. As I said before, you can kill me if I don't. And that's if I don't get to myself before you do."
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Posted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 3:44 pm
The gypsy twitched, fingers flexing on the blade as though she wanted to make good use of it. She had decided to hurt him first? Decisions had little to do with what had happened that night. As soon as she had put the pieces together, it had been all about reaction. Reflexive, defensive reaction. Perhaps she had hurt First, but it was better than the alternative. Besides, there was a less logical, much more primitive side of her that said he was hers - hers to nurture and protect, or even hurt when the need arose. Him and Last and Soibhan and even Rosalie. They all belonged to her, and maybe that was unfair by modern standards, but it also excused her actions to herself to a certain degree.
So instead of an angry rebuttal, instead of lashing out with blades, she said, "You cannot have it both ways. First you want to take all the blame, then you want to spread it around? Make up your mind." It seemed she was not the only hypocrite. "I may have hurt him, but it was better that it happen now rather than later." Gods, how ridiculous would it have been to allow him to nurture his feelings any longer? Feelings that could have gone no where.
However, something else the lady smith had said caught her attention. Her eyes narrowed. "What do you mean, they're not speaking?" A lot had happened, it was true, but surely not enough for that sort of breach in their relationship. Not unless something else had happened that she wasn't aware of.
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Posted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 4:32 pm
There wasn't even a flinch from the smith as those fingers flexed on the blade, even if it hadn't been a threat. As Rajani had seen time and time again, she would do a good job of turning white when those nimble fingers found a blade, especially when the discussion was such like this one. But no, Rosalie didn't even bat an eye, keeping her eyes instead on Rajani's. There was going to be no dancing around this time, no stepping delicately on eggshells. She'd done that enough and look at what'd happened.
"I know, I know." She shook her head, huffing the slightest, "I'll admit I rushed too fast into something I should have taken my time on, and I was working on that when, well.....everything happened. It's a little bit of everyone's fault, really." The was the slightest twitch of her hand when the gypsy just seemed to blow it all off. Did it not matter how badly she'd hurt him? Too tired to yell, she shook her head instead, letting her concerns come out. "You make it sound like you don't care how badly you hurt him. You broke him Raj." She quieted down a little, trying to plead with Rajani to understand. "The first time, he turned up here soaked to the bone. God, his eyes Raj, you could tell how broken he was just with one look at him. I've never seen anyone hurt that bad." That was a lie, and her voice faltered. No, she'd seen that before, she'd been the one to do the breaking. All it had taken was a few words, shouted in anger, and she'd seen the exact same look cross his face in horror. Unable to meet Rajani's eyes any longer, she bowed her head a little, glancing sideways over at the forge as that feeling rose in her throat, the guilt swallowing up her very being. "Yeah, if he can get over it sooner, that's all and good, but....You can't just tell someone to forget a feeling like that. He really did care a lot about you, Raj. Foolish and young he may be, but that doesn't make his feelings any less meaningful, it doesn't make flat out rejection hurt any less. Hell, your timing was perfect too, with Jacob coming in town and all. Might as well just make the whole thing worse for him, right?"
Seeing her quip hadn't gone unnoticed made her straighten up again, breathing slowly as she tried to fight off that urge to vomit once more. It takes a brief pause before she feels well enough to speak again, swallowing hard. "Yeah, that's what Last told me. Though, come to think of it, he wasn't looking so well either. Big black eye, messy clothes, hadn't shaven...." Her voice wavered again, concern rising as she put the events from that night back together. Was she really going to be the one to talk to First about this?
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Posted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 5:51 pm
"Of course it matters," she said, her conviction wavering for a moment as she thought of Lana before hardening again. His pain was not meaningless to her, and the fact that she had caused some of it had certainly caused her some grief. But he was young and he would heal. And he certainly wasn't the only one who had suffered through all of this. She could not bring herself to regret her course of action. If everyone else could buck up, then so could he.
She twitched again when Rosalie mentioned Jacob. That damned-all b*****d. "Yes, Rosalie. I planned it all this way. I waited for the first time I'd heard of big brother Jacob coming into town to realize how he felt and break his heart. I'm the big, bad monster out to get him." Gods. What a bloody mess.
Black eye, messy clothes, unshaven? Bloody hell. What had the two of them gotten into? "Do you know anything else?" she asked, looking and sounding more like the gypsy no one messed with, though the focus of her ire wasn't directed at the smith.
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Posted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 6:09 pm
"Then at some point, and I'm not saying it has to even be within a month, I think you two could use a talk. There's no sense in avoiding each other, especially not with a war coming on." She knew it wouldn't be long before she'd have to go and talk to him herself. It probably would make matters worse if she didn't, and hell, Last seemed to be convinced she could make things slightly better. Rajani could afford to take her time. Rosalie could not.
"I'm not saying you planned it. Hell, I just think it ended up bad for everyone. No one could help it." She shook her head, head fogging for a moment as she struggled to focus again. She took in another deep breath, raising a hand to pinch the bridge of her nose in an attempt to clear her head, causing for a momentary pause. "...I did try to warn you though." It had been such a long time ago, she wasn't even sure Raj remembered. "I teased him for it too, long time ago. This whole thing just didn't turn out in anyone's favor."
She takes another moment to try and focus, staring down at one spot on the table, eyes still unfocused. Damn, why did she have to guzzle down all that wine? "Sadly, no. I....I was pretty drunk at the time, I'll admit it. Drinking all the pain away again, trying to forget..." The fact that this has happened before might catch Rajani's interest, though after a while, she seems to sit back, trying to think through it all again. "Though come to think of it.....It's really foggy, I could be wrong, though I think Last said something about him living somewhere else for a while. Whatever happened, it had to have been bad." She sways a little before she finally leans back on the table again, using it for balance, rubbing at her temples with one hand.
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Posted: Thu Feb 06, 2014 9:59 am
The gypsy quirked a brow at Rosalie's audacity. It was true, of course, that she would need to speak to First eventually, but she hardly needed the smith to point that out to her. As of now, however, she very much doubted that the boy wanted to be in the same city as her, let alone the same room. She would do as she always did and let it sit a while. Unless extenuating circumstances intervened, that is. She may need to be speaking with Last, though, just to see what had gotten into the pair of them.
Ah. The so-called warning. Rajani remembered it alright. "Don't try feeding me that line. It wasn't a warning. You were trying to turn your observations to your own advantage." Though it might be more accurate to say that the smith had been attempting to tease her...in an attempt to get out of trouble. Regardless, the observation had been made. However foolish it had seemed at the time, she could admit that much.
Still, she eyed the smith speculatively. There it was again. All of these little hints. Unless she was very much mistaken, they were adding up to something. She just had to figure out what. If she noticed Rosalie's unsteadiness or the way she was rubbing at her head, she put it down to a hangover or stress or fatigue, or more likely a combination of all three.
Suspecting that she would learn nothing more from the smith about the twins, Rajani decided that she may as well investigate that little detail. "Just what do you mean, again?"
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Posted: Fri Feb 07, 2014 6:53 pm
"Well...None of us can take back what's happened now, I guess. No use in just wondering what could have happened if things had been different." She shakes her head, frowning. But truly, it may be for the best that things happened this way. There's always something worse that could have happened, even if she doesn't want to think of it right this moment. After all, at least Rajani hasn't killed her. "I think it was more like teasing....And I have to admit, I have felt guilty for stealing Last away from him all this time. I guess I though maybe if I tried to mention it, he'd end up happy too. Look where that got us..." Absolutely nowhere. She gives another heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose again. She feels so sluggish but she doesn't want to cut this short because of that. This is important, and they were talking, hopefully making things right. Perhaps she'd best ask about that... "So. Where does this put us?" She finally murmured after a moment, noticing Rajani was eyeing her. "Still friends? Or are we going to let this ruin it?" She really hoped not. Rajani was someone she deeply admired, and she wasn't about to stop working for her just because of this. It might be awkward if they weren't friends, but....She had promised. Things seemed to take a turn though at the gypsy's next words, and she stopped altogether, holding in her breath as she stared wide-eyed at her friend. s**t. She'd noticed. Biting her bottom lip, the smith seemed more than content to let it be answered in silence, looking down at the table instead, avoiding looking at anything but Rajani. She couldn't just lie about it. Raj would eventually find out, she knew she would. But that didn't mean that Rosalie was all that comfortable with discussing it with her either. Hell, she hadn't even talked to Last about it. But here she was, damning herself to have to tell someone. "It was a long time ago." Her voice is hushed, and it's clear she isn't all that comfortable with it. The feeling just rises up in her throat again, and she feels utterly sick with herself. God, how long had it been? Eight years? "I..." She has to pause again, eyes still on the table, too ashamed to meet those of her best friend. She wants to drink it away again, she wants to forget that raspy voice, she especially wants to forget that look in his eyes when she told him that she hated him, that her mother was happier without him... "I hurt him. I said and did a lot of things I wish I never had, and I guess it all came back to bite me in the a** when I never got to say goodbye to him." She's choking up badly, trying to just will away all the guilt from it. "He should've never been proud of me. Here I am, eight years later, and I'm still....." She feels like she should be crying again, but she's already dried up all her tears in the past week. Her face is obviously pained, not wanting for a second to open up about everything she's done, everything she's felt, but here she is, letting just a little trickle out to Rajani. "It's not important, Raj. It's really not."
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Posted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 2:54 pm
Guilt was never a good reason to do anything, in the gypsy's opinion. However, there were other matters to discuss. There was no point beating that one to death.
...Rajani suspected that she ought to be insulted. She certainly felt a little indignant. While it was true that she had not had many to call friend in several years, she was not so far gone as to blithely break off relations over things like men. Even when the men in question were as good as family, or perhaps especially in such cases. While forgiving and forgetting might be a little premature, she could at least move forward, however tentatively.
"Do try not to insult me," she said at last, and that would have to be answer enough.
She gave her full attention to the words being forced through Rosalie's lips, and set her mind to the task of deciphering the words not said. Him. A lover, a friend, a brother? But she spoke of pride and years gone by. Perhaps it was her father she spoke of. She could not piece everything together from the broken fragments falling from the smith's lips, but clearly there had been arguments and hard words spoken. It did not sound as though it had been an easy relationship. Rajani thought briefly of her own father - hearty laughter, strong hands, gentle words - before tucking the memories away and returning to her task.
"It is always important," she refuted. "But if there's someone else you'd rather talk to, I won't force you to tell me." She had too much of her own emotional privacy not to respect someone else's.
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Posted: Mon Feb 24, 2014 11:12 am
It's needless to say the change in conversation has quieted her down, her willingness to talk sapped away slowly by the painful memories Rajani has brought back up. While it's a relief, at least she thinks it is, that they're good for now (she thinks?), she still doesn't want to make it worse. It's a good thing that they seem to drop the discussion of the Freds altogether, Rosa doesn't feel much like talking about how that still hurts either. But is it really a better option for her to try and talk about her father? Rajani's insistence on it being important nonetheless coaxes a dry laugh from her, the smith begging to differ. It's not important. It never has been and never will be. She doesn't need to let anyone in on that little world of hurt, they don't need to pity her and think her weak. That's what she is, right? It's been close to a decade, and poor little Rosalie still isn't over her father's death, boohoo, so sad. "It's really....something I don't think anyone would want to talk about." In other words, she doesn't want to, ever. "I don't think....I don't think I'd feel comfortable even talking about it with Last." It's barely above a hushed whisper, and she shivers rather suddenly despite the warmth of the room. At the least she's being a little more honest, but she still seems to sway in and out of the conversation. "Ah, perhaps I should make some tea, it's a cold day isn't it?" She quickly opts for a change of discussion, laughing nervously as she finally stands, struggling just a little to keep her balance. Her head was absolutely throbbing, she really wanted nothing more than to go upstairs and lay down, but she wasn't about to run Rajani off to do so. Indeed, maybe a cup of tea would make her feel better, she thought, tottering slightly on her feet as she made her way over to the forge. "Go ahead and eat, please, I'm not feeling terribly hungry at the moment.." Or well, for that matter.
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