12:01 am glowed on Otto's phone, the stunned hunter blinking as the real world came back into his consciousness. Many thoughts, questions and feelings swirled about in his mind as he sat on his couch. For a while, the busy chaos in his thoughts prevented him from focusing on any one thing, saving him from pain.

But then his mind focused. It focused on what he remembered last: Clerise. He was left with an emotional wound that refused to heal. He'd had her smile again. Her touch, her warmth. Her voice. It sent his heart into the shredder. As if physically in pain, he curled into himself, hugging his knees to his chest. He lost her all over again. Ripped from his arms, from his heart and from this world. His eyes burned, and his throat swelled painfully. An overwhelming sense of loss consumed Otto, making him glad for one thing: that no one was with him to see him cry.

It wasn't for a long while he finally noticed the notes left by the creatures of Joy. Their words left little assurance. He tried not to dwell. He tried not to cling to things he could not control. But that smile and that laugh pierced through his memories, sending him spiralling back into despair. He wanted her back. Alive. He ached for her companionship. Not the one in that strange universe. The one he'd had here in this world.

It was these trains of thought that brought him to a distraction. How real was any of what he'd seen? In it, he had relatives. Real relatives, related by blood.

It had him curious enough to let himself forget his pain for a while.

He was 99% sure it was all false. It was just a dream made up by silly creatures from Christmas Town, after all. But he needed this distraction. He needed to stop feeling the painful heart ache of losing Clerise.

Otto left to find these answers, using his status as a Full Hunter to access his bloodline information. Just to disprove what he'd seen. He sat at a computer, pouring over new information he'd never know about himself. One fact rang clear; Ripley was right. He was indeed adopted. And there he could see them; the names of his birth parents. The surname Hardgrave made him freeze. He knew that name. He'd not seen it in a long time. It was Jude's last name. And there, under his parent's names, was Jude Hardgrave.

It was all true, as far as familial connection went. Otto had a brother on this island. And further reading showed him he also had a cousin in Peyton. It shouldn't have meant anything to him. Family by blood was just that; a connection by blood and marriage. Nothing more. At least, it would have been. But it was this that had him feeling more connected, less like a random happenstance on Deus. Not just a floating orb in the sea of hunters. There were deeper connections at work.

Otto leaned back, rubbing his face with a noise of pain. It was all too much. Too much to take in. Why was he given up for adoption? Was Jude given up to, or was he favored? It wouldn't surprise him. At this point, it made sense. No family wanted him. Not his birth parents, not his adopted parents. Even his grandfather dying was starting to feel like it had been to escape his needy child self.
He tried to make out like it wouldn't change a thing. After all, Jude was probably dead anyway. He'd not seen him in a year, probably. Peyton, however, he saw occasionally in the background during missions and meetings. That was something he might have to deal with.

Clerise. A sibling. A cousin. Otto got up and headed back to his room, certain he'd not get a wink of sleep for days now.