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 Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 5:33 pm
Rep figured there was only one ******** person on the entire island he could blame for the image he'd found pinned to his door, only one person would be as ******** nerdy and gloating. That person was Mark. It didn't matter he was a ******** assistant, it didn't matter Cael had to have tried innumerable times to beat the s**t out of him. All that mattered was that he needed a good ******** trouncing to teach him a lesson. And it would be fine, it wasn't like he was going to kill the p***k, just rough him up a bit, make him take back his bullshit and pin the Hutt drawing to his ******** forehead.
It was simple enough to at least assume where the ******** basement dweller actually hung out, and he sidled into Mark's lair with as much stealth as he was capable of (not much). Tracey wasn't summoned yet, but he entirely intended to once he got a good projected swing.
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Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 5:49 pm
Mark was busy. Busy getting a hot date. He was still debating whether to use Yoda or Obi Wan Kenobi candles when someone burst into his Lair, which really wasn't as important as his hot date so he simply continued typing onto his computer while holding out one hand to the intruder, without seeing who they actually were. "Five hundred bucks if you want a mod."
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Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 5:55 pm
Rep smirked to himself as Mark didn't actually bother turning around, distracted in a way Rep was familiar with.
It gave him time to figure out the direction that could potentially do most damage to the computer, which as far as he was concerned was the real weak spot in this little run in.
When he swung it was in a jumbled mess of freshly summoned axe. "Overpriced as well as a ******** p***k!"
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Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 6:03 pm
Everything fell, and quite literally. The table was easily cleaved in half, unable to sustain much more damage, the computer toppled over to the ground, at least the monitors, all three of them, the fourth still dangling on the remains of the table. There were three towers, a server, and a 3D printer system that also took damage from the table; in fact the only thing that seemed to have survived the entire ordeal was an innocuous fan and last month's edition of Busty Asian Beauties.
And also the mini fridge in the corner of the room which had been storing pretzel chips for future potential dates.
The bookshelf at the far end finally gave in and tumbled over as well, everything a mess of papers, books, USB discs, wires, hardware, and something that seemed to be catching on fire. Through the chaos, the only thing Mark could utter as he slowly pried himself out, pulled out an open bottle of San Pellegrino from the fridge and threw it at the fire and then fell over on his back, breathing heavily, was "Why?"
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Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 6:14 pm
Rep was always deeply satisfied whenever an unfortunate table gave up the ghost, the crunch of wood under his axe an absolute delight to behold.
What wasn't a delight was causing an enormous amount of technical collateral damage. Rep loved PCs. It was a cold hard fact, his own rig, Alex had been his only true and reliable friend in his hostile world before the island. So in the swing at Mark's setup, there was the imagined cry of thousands of electronic and runic voices which were silenced forever. It was more upsetting than any sentient creature he had ever had to swing at.
Tracey said, feeling in some small way like this blow was a blow struck against B0nez and everyone like him.
It didn't make Rep feel better.
"You ******** know why." Rep snarled. "That ******** picture on my ******** door, the stupid ******** date. The comment about my ma. You've been racking up ******** points for weeks and weeks. It's just time to cash that ******** destruction cheque you slimy little p***k."
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Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 7:49 pm
"But you wanted the date," Mark protested and then cringed and assumed defense position when he thought Rep was going to throw him out the window (though there was no actual window in his claustrophobic Lair), "and it was a joke. Also look here, you can't just invade private Jedi territory like this, you need to like, book an appointment, and I'm totally charging you for damage costs I mean at least two good frames and my server went down today and I like host the largest classified information network on the island, and-"
He paused. And counted his fingers. "That will be five thousand bucks. And an extra thousand for like, psychological damage."
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Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 8:15 pm
Rep glared coldly at Mark. "That wasn't what I paid for on the date, you ******** idiot, you scammed me and took my ******** money is all it was." It was satisfying watching him protest and backpedal faced with a giant axe and the prospect of an asskicking.
"I don't ******** CARE about your s**t either, not even a ******** tiny bit. I don't have five thousand or six thousand bucks either. I don't even have a ******** hundred." He edged a little nearer, something coiled and tensed in his posture, considering the chances of grabbing someone as fast as Mark and wringing his neck. "So you are ******** s**t out of luck."
He smirked, twisting Tracey out of the mangled table. "And if you think that was psychological damage, you've got another ******** thing coming."
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Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 8:28 pm
Mark cringed reflexively as Rep showed him his business side, "Psychological and physical damage- which can be uh, negotiated." He casually, ever so carefully leaned to one side and worked his way around Giant Axe In Tiny Room. "So, how about you leave me alone, and I'll-"
- And then he took a bottle of questionable and obviously glowing and maybe radioactive blue liquid and spritzed Rep right in the eyes. It wasn't quite acid, but it did leave quite a sting.
- By the time Rep's vision cleared, someone scrawny and a lot more hobo than Taym was already racing down the hallway.
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Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 8:38 pm
Rep kept his eyes on Mark with absolute suspicion, glaring icily at the slippery death hunter. He hadn't really considered the practical logistics of using a giant axe to fight in a small restricted space, but quite frankly when did he ever? Surely all it would take would be a very deft twist of the blade and he could do enough damage that the self proclaimed Jedi would be subjected to no small degree of Force.
Tracey hissed, furious at Rep's lack of focus in what was a dangerous situation.
His hesitation was his downfall, just as the fallen angel had predicted, taking a spray of he didn't even know what right in his eyes, panicking in a moment of blindness that he would never actually see again, it reminded him of ******** mace. "You little b***h!" he roared furiously. Of course only someone like Mark would need mace.
When he could see anything more than just vague shapes it was only enough to see the vague shape of Mark running the ******** away, and if the guy could do nothing else, he could run. He could run like a ******** bat out of hell.
He even tried to chase him, desummoning Tracey to do so. But Rep wasn't a very fast sprinter even at the best of times.
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Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 9:15 pm
When it came to a test of speed, Mark could easily outrun practically every single Hunter unable to make portals on the island, thanks to months of practice. When it came to getting caught however, the same rules just didn't apply. Mark disappeared around the corner and as Rep neared it he would hear another Very Familiar Voice lecturing Mark.
-"in the correct order," Very Familiar Voice also Mark's Boss was saying, shaking a folder at his assistant, "this is the wrong ******** order. It took me five ******** minutes to find a single ******** name. If you do not sort your ******** business..." And this strain just continued on about ******** classifications and ******** mapping and ******** mission reports for another few minutes: Mark was evasive but he wasn't crazy enough to flee quite yet.
"...correct results." Caelius finished. He then spotted Rep. And looked at Mark. "I hope neither of you will be sparring indoors or there will very direct consequences." said the person who stabbed people consistently indoors, "A word with you, Rep. I am curious as to what the Life division lead," they had probably had another spat and were on a third name basis again, "mentioned about the effects on your weapon in comparison to your current results."
Mark meanwhile, was inching towards the door.
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Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 9:36 pm
Rep skidded to a halt just in time to avoid careening right into Caelius at a dash, endeavouring to look like he was just out for a walk and absolutely not trying to murder his assistant for being a pain in the arse. He waited patiently like a hopeful dog next to a kitchen table to see if the Death lead would wander off and leave him his vulnerable prey when he was done berating Mark over what sounded like the most tedious ******** job in the world. No wonder the guy was completely nuts and holed up in a basement, he would be too if his job involved organising names and mission reports without end.
At the mention of sparring indoors he tried to look absolutely innocent, like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. Consequences at this point was a word that made the hair stand up on the back of his neck with dread.
"No. No sparring." he said, with a vague handwave while trying to keep Mark in his sights. There was no ******** option of just waving Cael off and chasing the other man, he didn't think the death lead would ever by any stretch of the imagination respond well to can you just hold on a second while I punch five shades of hell out of your ratbag underling?
He froze. "H? He ******** wrapped Tracey up in that Marie b***h. His whip." There was something uncertain about the way he said b***h, as if said b***h might plague him with horrible, awful nightmares and kill everyone he loved for upsetting her. "I can't get charges when I attack other hunters, she eats them all. The effects? I don't know. No one ******** tells me anything, especially not him." he said the word him with the same level of vitriol other people might reserve for an expletive. "She gives me ******** up nightmares, she can possess me, I don't know."
He tried inching towards the door a little himself. "I'm no Life or Death." he said. "Anymore. Comparison's not my strong point. I don't even know what my current results are."
He tried not to make any accidental bagel puns, or anything that might trigger some awful murderous relapse.
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Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 10:01 pm
Mark had quietly snuck out the door as the Death lead simply stared at Rep as if examining a vaguely interesting slab of leftovers, or leftover bagels. "I hope you will continue then to occupy Marie's time", he finally said, as if he didn't mind Rep's consequences at all. "You are dismissed."
Technically they weren't actually in a meeting, though by the time that thought could occur to anyone the Death lead was already off harassing someone else over priorities and making them feel extremely unimportant.
Mark was currently outside. On a tree. Yes, the training fields did and occasionally sport very sturdy trees and the Death assistant was currently dangling on one very high up tree branch - how he had gotten there was another mystery - texting away madly to whatever friends he actually had; so basically his backup computers and occassionally on good days when Dwight remembered to tag him, Dwight.
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Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 10:11 pm
Rep wasn't entirely sure that he liked the way Cael described his current predicament with Marie, as if he was just some convenient diversion rather than suffering tremendous stress and inconvenience. He didn't argue though - because he was stupid but not that stupid. Instead he permitted himself to be dismissed and sidled away before he could end up accosted a second time.
When he got outside, checking as he went for signs of Mark, he was on the brink of giving up. For all he knew, Mark could be half way across the island, he could have little rat burrows under places and no one would ever ******** know.
He sighed heavily, leaning against a fence not far from the training fields and exhaling irritably. Sure, he'd managed to inconvenience Mark and wreck his s**t but he wasn't very sure if he'd won.
He wasn't well positioned to spot the slippery hunter, but he intended to keep looking just a bit longer - because after all, it was an island - how far could he really get?
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Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 10:24 pm
The Jedi in Mark wanted to just call it a day. Use the Jedi conduct and all that. The butthurt programmer in him was pretty upset that Rep had ruined an hour's worth of code, which was a very long time. Now he had to spend one less hour working on his Princess Leia perfect boobies project and one more hour doing that paperwork stuff. It was a good thing Caelius still couldn't tell the difference between written and printed typewriting.
"You still owe me five thousand bucks!" He finally shouted, easily giving away his location. "Go back to Tatooine you jerk!" He picked off a questionable looking mutated hairy chestnut from the tree and threw it at Rep, which unfortunately missed.
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Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 5:36 am
The yell was all it took to seize Rep's attention where he stood. By the time the chestnut flew past him he was already charging towards the tree in question, enraged afresh by further Star Wars related insults. Mark just clearly couldn't get enough until he managed to earn the a** kicking of his life.
He summoned Tracey when he was near enough and swung at the trunk as hard as he could muster.
You didn't goad the guy with an axe from up a tree.
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