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 Posted: Sat Jan 04, 2014 8:37 pm
Aside from a small banquet to honor her group of doctoral recipients, Mimsy never attended these kinds of things. Until very recently, she could always use her studies or dissertation or some work-related project as an excuse to avoid large social gatherings. Now she had no excuse at all, especially considering its potential to help her achieve her next crucial life goal.
Clerise knew as much, so when she invited Mimsy over to get ready for the ball together, she couldn't bring herself to decline. It probably would not have mattered either way, knowing her cousin.
With her dress safely draped over the back of the nearest chair, she continued to delay actually putting it on, wringing her hands over the unreasonable anxiety she was feeling about the actual act of wearing the garment. As soon as she put it on, it would set a chain of events into motion: she would finish helping Clerise get ready, then allow her cousin to do whatever she saw fit to finalize her own appearance, then she would have to go to the ball because she was already dressed and had promised Clerise that she would, then she would be too afraid to talk to anyone, then she would eat and probably not have room for dessert after her meal, then she would not find anyone special, then she would never get married or have a family, then she would die alone.
It was a dangerous dress.
"Maybe I could stay here instead," she suggested, hoping that the compromise that wasn't much of a compromise at all would be an acceptable option.
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Posted: Sat Jan 04, 2014 8:58 pm
Clerise was currently in the process of struggling into her button up shirt: it was too tight around the shoulders, because she was too lazy and always bought off the rack, and men's shirts were fine but did not accommodate for the boobs, and she wanted to accommodate for the boobs, especially tonight, and.
Well, it was a hard road.
"No way, missy," she scolded, spinning in a circle to her left as she chased her sleeve, "you are here. You have committed to the process in your head, even if you don't think you have. This is step zero, Mims, and now once I-- manage too-- HAH!-- you need to put the dress on."
Triumphantly within the confines of her shirt, the redhead approached her cousin. "We've talked about this, haven't we?" she asked, her voice softer. It wasn't coddling: Clerise would still tell it to her straight. It was just...approaching with caution. "One step at a time. Let's get your dress on."
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Posted: Sun Jan 05, 2014 12:00 am
As Mimsy returned to watching in silence after voicing her suggestion, she realized that she probably should have been helping her cousin, since it was half of the reason that she was here. Luckily, Clerise managed it on her own, which meant that she could devote her full attention to convincing her that it would be best if she opted out of attending.
What her mind actually devoted itself to was a long list of reasons why nothing she could possibly say would work, followed by a similarly sized list of adjectives describing how terrible she would feel for lying to Clerise and letting her down.
"I like it." She smiled and nodded towards the shirt, and began to calculate approximately how much longer she could avoid putting on the dress. The number stopped short when she talked to her in a quieter, less energy-charged tone, and she met the encouragement with a sigh.
"Are you going to be meeting Clarice and Ben when you arrive? Or do you have other plans?" she asked, once her hands finally reached her dress, pausing as if she were just waiting to hear her answer.
But she knew that she was not truly clever enough to hide the fact that she was stalling, so she picked the dress up with an anxious noise, and held it in front of her as she just looked at Clerise for a moment. There was a noticeable glimmer in her eyes, and she sniffled once before she spoke again.
"One step at a time. I remember. Okay." Another sniffle. "You're in a happy relationship, and I wholeheartedly trust your guidance, so...honestly. Do you truly think that there might be someone in attendance who would be interested in me despite the fact that I will still be so close to step zero, or is attending simply another step of equivalent importance to the other steps en route to my goal?"
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Posted: Sun Jan 05, 2014 12:45 am
Clerise didn't begrudge Mimsy for the lack of help. She was her favourite cousin, even if she was the only one, but even had there been more she would have felt the same. (Lucky sort of counted, but more in the cool sidekick kind of role he perpetually seemed to occupy.)
"Thanks," she said, buttoning it, "and I'll be trying to find em, yeah. If Ben can stop working for two ******** seconds, which is, well, it may require an intervention."
Finally, Mimsy picked up the dress, holding it as though it was something almost unpleasant, despite its very nature as finery. Oh, Mimsy, she thought, and Svensyl chittered nonsense sadly in reply. He liked her very much, in a way that only a Jabberwock could like a girl named Mimsy.
"Pfft. If there's not a guy there that wants you in his life, that's his ********' problem," Clerise said, her voice self-assured. "There are plenty of men in the world-- and women too. They all either want a piece of you for themselves or to destroy. It's up to you as to what they get-- if anything at all."
She laid a hand on Mimsy's back, resting it carefully there, between the shoulder blades. She used the touch to comfort her, as well as her words. Positive reinforcement. "Your goal is important, but not everything in this world is a step towards fulfilling it. And that's okay, because what fills in the cracks can be good, too."
Clerise pushed the dress closer, taking care not to crumple or wrinkle it.
"I want you to experience all the good in the world, man-husband-and-kids abiding or not. You are wonderful, Mimsy. You are a capable Life hunter with a doctorate and vast amounts of knowledge. You are a cousin and a sister, sweet and with a big heart. Yeah you're awkward, but I don't know if you've met the rest of the island, but we're a misfit bunch, yeah?"
A tight squeeze of a hug.
"I went through a lot to find my people. There's a people out there for you, too. You'll find 'em."
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Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 11:23 pm
A little laugh came in response to her (accurate) comment about Ben and work, and Mimsy slowly shook her head against Clerise's shoulder, keeping her arms wrapped tightly around her for just a little longer. Hugging her always made her feel better in ways she couldn't exactly explain; it felt right, like there was no other comparable display of how closely connected she felt to her, no better way to show her in an instant how much she loved her. She never had a sister, but she was confident that not even a twin would as important as Clerise did.
"I imagine that he will spend more than two seconds simply staring in awe when he sees you," she teased, finally breaking away. There was a threat of tears clearly visible in her eyes, but they no longer seemed to be the result of overwhelming anxiety - she looked happy and loving and proud, because she was.
With another deep breath, she took the dress from Clerise and unzipped it with care, stepping into it and pulling it up and over her arms with an air of reverence.
And that was all she could manage on her own, before everything her cousin said to her finally settled into her mind. She couldn't prevent herself from crying anymore, and she pulled her into another hug, burying her face in the curve of her neck.
"I love you," she cried, sniffles disrupted by another short laugh. "You're wonderful too. I have no idea what I would do without you. I mean...aside from staying at home. Or working. All the time."
She laughed and hugged her tighter, just for a second.
"You know...I find it difficult to consider everything outside of the direct pursuit of my goal as 'filler'. I already found my people. From the moment that we first played together, after all of our tantrums and stubborn refusals - do you remember? You were always what made me feel like I belonged. You were always the one who made me feel loved. You were there without fail, and even though you and I have gone through a lot of our own brand of troubling times together...I never doubt that you will always be here for me, and that I will be here for you, should you ever need your awkward little cousin's weird expertise."
As her voice calmed again, she pulled away, resting her hands on her shoulders. She smiled, still crooked in spite of years of practice, and clumsily half-shrugged to wipe a lingering tear on her arm.
"Nothing will ever change that. Not a husband, or a child, or anything else. I know that they would be lucky to be my family, because it means being your family too. That is what is good in this world. Anything else is just extra. Like sprinkles on the top."
Realizing what she'd just said, she wrinkled her nose and nudged a fallen strap of her still-unzipped dress back onto her shoulder.
"Except - and I must apologize for this, as it will be just devastating - I won't lick you."
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