Carter Wright vs Lance Perfecto
The camera fades-in to show the well wrapped-up Cartwright as he watches the match between his loveable little fake Carter Wright as he debuts against the mightiest and most racist jobber in the world, Lance Perfecto. Cartwright has a mug of hot chocolate in his hands which he sips on between breaks from commenting on what is happening on the screen backstage. He looks ever so animated.
Cartwright: "Alright! Start of the match! What? The jobber gets an entrance?! BBW breaking ground there! How about that! Showing the jobber some respect! What's up with that?! He's both shitty and racist! Don't look at me like that, I'm quoting the man himself! He does not deserve the respect that an entrance brings! Maybe a black guy stole his bike once and that was it for poor Lance! Maybe a Asian did his maths homework at school and it really upset him! Maybe a white guy raped him! Who knows?! Enough of the stereotypes!"
Cartwright can't believe it as Bodies by Drowning Pool hits the arena and out comes Carter Wright.
Cartwright: "Man, Bodies is still an awesome song! Drowning Pool had a few hits back in the day! Oh but listen to those boos! See the crowd can tell a fake from the original! But he's loving the boos! He's smiling! What's wrong with this guy? Is he deaf? Is he stupid? He's probably both! That kid looks sooooo chuffed to have been forcefully high-fived right there! The kid looks like he's about to cry! I'd want to cry too if that My Little Pony lover touched my hand!"
Cartwright watches the epic match go down, sipping on his hot chocolate which tastes ever so good.
Cartwright: "No, no, no! I wouldn't do that! Nah, that ain't me! Close, but not good enough on that there punch! I'd never pull such a daft face! I'm like a serious competitor! No duck faces or tongues sticking out like Miley Cyrus! Poor Carter Wright, he's trying his best out there to be me but nobody can do me better than me......I know how that sounds! I can't wait to kick his head in and show him who the real Cartwright is, which is me, just in-case anyone out there was wondering!"
The match ends due to a trademark Carter Wright low blow. Cartwright face palms as best as he can with his forehead against the mug of hot chocolate.
Cartwright: "WHAT?! Oh come on now! The guy just gave-up on his own act! Which is my act! I would never take the cowards way out and escape a match via nut shot! The guy just lost to a jobber! Way to make me look bad! Except you ain't me! Is he?! I'm getting all confused! There's only one way to solve the problem that is my terrible twin! Carter Wright! I challenge you to a match! One-on-one at Monday Massacre Six! I'll show you and the world that I am the real Cartwright once and for all!"
Cartwright: "Alright! Start of the match! What? The jobber gets an entrance?! BBW breaking ground there! How about that! Showing the jobber some respect! What's up with that?! He's both shitty and racist! Don't look at me like that, I'm quoting the man himself! He does not deserve the respect that an entrance brings! Maybe a black guy stole his bike once and that was it for poor Lance! Maybe a Asian did his maths homework at school and it really upset him! Maybe a white guy raped him! Who knows?! Enough of the stereotypes!"
Cartwright can't believe it as Bodies by Drowning Pool hits the arena and out comes Carter Wright.
Cartwright: "Man, Bodies is still an awesome song! Drowning Pool had a few hits back in the day! Oh but listen to those boos! See the crowd can tell a fake from the original! But he's loving the boos! He's smiling! What's wrong with this guy? Is he deaf? Is he stupid? He's probably both! That kid looks sooooo chuffed to have been forcefully high-fived right there! The kid looks like he's about to cry! I'd want to cry too if that My Little Pony lover touched my hand!"
Cartwright watches the epic match go down, sipping on his hot chocolate which tastes ever so good.
Cartwright: "No, no, no! I wouldn't do that! Nah, that ain't me! Close, but not good enough on that there punch! I'd never pull such a daft face! I'm like a serious competitor! No duck faces or tongues sticking out like Miley Cyrus! Poor Carter Wright, he's trying his best out there to be me but nobody can do me better than me......I know how that sounds! I can't wait to kick his head in and show him who the real Cartwright is, which is me, just in-case anyone out there was wondering!"
The match ends due to a trademark Carter Wright low blow. Cartwright face palms as best as he can with his forehead against the mug of hot chocolate.
Cartwright: "WHAT?! Oh come on now! The guy just gave-up on his own act! Which is my act! I would never take the cowards way out and escape a match via nut shot! The guy just lost to a jobber! Way to make me look bad! Except you ain't me! Is he?! I'm getting all confused! There's only one way to solve the problem that is my terrible twin! Carter Wright! I challenge you to a match! One-on-one at Monday Massacre Six! I'll show you and the world that I am the real Cartwright once and for all!"
