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Kaoru wasn't really certain how to prepare for his latest client. There was the fact that he had been requested alone for once instead of with his twin, which was discomforting enough. Hosting with Hikaru always made Kaoru feel more at ease because it was so natural to play around with his twin, especially since his older brother took the lead in their games and acts.

What was most unnerving, however, was who had made the request. It was Lucas, the young man from the Winter Festival who had shot marshmallow projectiles and then flung cake at the Hiatchiin Pirates before hit their hostage instead. The very same young man who, for whatever reason, just happened to have several duck and chicken inner-tubes with him and at the ready when Hikaru and Shiemi had fallen into the water.

The young man seemed alarmingly delusional to point where he might have rivaled - no, perhaps surpassed, even - their very own Host King. As Kaoru hardly knew the fellow, though, it was still difficult to say. He didn't like to judge people too quickly in general, but the fact that their last encounter had ended in an unexpected kiss full on the lips had kind of shattered that restraint on Kaoru's end. He waited with his chin in one palm as he drummed the fingers of his free hand on the table top. At least this wasn't likely to be a boring session in any sense of the word.

"Hikaru, why don't you go tend to our other guests?" Kaoru suggested gently, realizing his twin was probably finding this just as strange and abnormal as he was. Still, the client had requested him, and they had to give the clients what they wanted. With a frown, the older Hitachiin waved a hand dismissively and went to go find their other guests.

Kaoru, too, was doing his best to keep from outright frowning and had only managed to form his mouth into a thin line. He waited until Lucas was done before speaking.

"I'm not sure how you have the audacity to call us 'bad' when the last time we met, you kissed me without permission. I had meant for you to kiss Kyandii-hime, not me. Obviously you were mistaken."

His brows knitted in confusion and incredulity as the second year started going on about father figures and single mothers. Where he got this stuff was anyone's guess, but it sounded as though he'd somehow found his way into Tamaki's mind and spent far too much time in there to tell reality from fantasy any longer. Oh well. They'd just have to deal with him the same way they dealt with Tono - play along. He was still a guest, after all.

At the mention of his hair, though, Kaoru had to laugh. "What is it with you and hair? Do you have some sort of fetish for them? Or maybe it's birds," he pondered aloud, remembering the pool outdoors and how Lucas had pulled all sorts of inflatable bird inner tubes from his pocket. Not to mention compared him to a turkey and disliked when he said the word 'rooster'. Maybe he secretly got off on it.

Well, as hosts, they were there to cater to the customers' wants and desires, he supposed, and a change of hairstyle wasn't quite outside of reason. With a small shrug, Kaoru pulled out a comb from his blazer pocket and did his best to comply with his client's wishes while looking to Luke for instruction and approval.

"You can't judge a good kiss just by watching," Kaoru protested. "And what, you don't kiss young ladies, but you kiss young men without their permission? I hardly find that fair," he said, frowning. "And just 'Kaoru' will do."

He wasn't sure he could have stopped his snickers even if he tried once Lucas started demanding he stop laughing. It was natural for such a request to induce even more, after all. "You kept on pulling out bird-shaped inner tubes and referring to us as turkeys and stuff," he pointed out. The 'hot' comment had him surprised, though, and a devious look came into his eyes.

"Oh, right...so you're into guys, neh?" he asked. "It's a shame Kyouya-senpai isn't gay, but I guess it makes sense now why you would request the homosexual twins. But just one, and the uke, too! 'Divide and conquer', is that your plan? Take on the weaker, more submissive one so you get to be dominant?" He grinned as he leaned closer to his client across the table. "Well I may not be my brother, but I think you might find it's a little more difficult to tame me than that, Lucas-hime. I am, after all, still a 'devil-type'."

"There you go, talking about birds again," Kaoru laughed. "Not sure what bees have to do with it, but go ahead. What do you know about them that I don't, mm?" His grin only broadened the more Lucas talked.

"So let me get this straight," he said once Lucas was done. "Not only did you violate my lips at a moment's notice, but you have the audacity to tell me afterward that I don't understand about kissing because it's supposed to be done by two people deeply in love?" The Hitachiin shook his head. "And now, if I'm right, you seem to be subtly attempting to persuade me to go on a date with you that includes sharing an ice cream and a walk down a beach or you plan to tattle on me to Okaa-san. How childish. Since when did our clients get so desperate for romance with us that they had to resort to blackmail?"

"And isn't it common courtesy to do the same for anyone?" Karou asked dully. "I've never heard anywhere that it was gentlemanly to not ask a man's." The 'fashion' comment caused him to roll his eyes. "You're lecturing me on fashion?" he asked, incredulous. "I think you're the one who's lacking something, but it's more necessary than a father figure. Ever heard of this vital organ called brain?" He tapped the side of his head indicatively.

"Mmmhmm..." The twin studied his nails. "As if you know anything about what people are like on the inside."

His brows raised at the notion that Lucas didn't know what 'uke' meant. "In a sense," he answered, unable to hide his smile. He rested his cheek against his palm as he propped up an elbow on the table, seeming unimpressed as his client jumped up.

"Are you sure?" he asked, giving the young man a sly look. "I was under the impression that only those in denial react so strongly. No need for name-calling. What kind of example are you setting for me if you're attempting to be my father-figure?" He ran a hand through his hair again. "And...have you ever been on a date with a guy? It's not good to say you don't like something if you've never tried it before."

"You don't have to do anything, but it wouldn't hurt to treat them equally," Kaoru answered. "After all, you never know who may or may not actually be the opposite gender on the inside right? Not to mention those who simply don't look the gender that they are. If you treat both the same, then you don't have to worry about making that distinction."

Smiling in amusement, Kaoru resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the mention of asking about Lucas' brain. "Really? I'm honestly surprised. I would have thought more would have questioned its well being." Not to mention his mental health.

The younger twin blinked as Lucas suddenly seemed to get very interested and grabbed the chair as he sat on it and leaned forward. As he whispered conspiratorially, Kaoru raised a brow and leaned in closer to hear before his face flushed in embarrassment. "I - well, I don't know!" he whispered back, sounding exasperated. Why would this guy ask such things?!

"On either account, how would I know? I've never dated anyone. And it's absolutely none of my business what Ootori-san does in his personal life and relationships." He stared intensively at the tabletop as his face heated up. "I'm not sure why you think it's yours." As if he knew anything about the lesbian-angel nonsense Lucas was going on about.

Kaoru endured the patting with a tight smile and thinly-veiled indignation. "I'm not sure how that makes sense," he answered in even tones, "but as you wish, Lucas-hime." The clients were always in the right. It was the hosts' job to keep them happy.

The latter demand, however, was far beyond anything reasonable by any standards, Kaoru decided. "...I'm sorry," he said, keeping his smile plastered on his face. "I thought you just asked me to go on a date with Ootori-senpai. But that would be crazy because that would require one of us to ask him out personally which would, in turn, mean risking rejection. On top of that, it would again be invading his personal life which would likely be suicidal."

"Further more, the mere notion of asking would ruin any sort of normal relationship either of us have with him. And if he hasn't said yes to you, Lucas-hime, with your exceptional good looks, wit, and charm, what makes you think he'd agree to going out with me?" He took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart and cool his heated face which he was sure was of some ruddy complexion. "Besides all that...isn't he supposed to be my mother?"