Welcome to Gaia! ::

The notion of wanting to help others and be useful wasn't just for her senshi side. Gwendolyn Caspian was always eager to step up and help out a friend, whatever the trouble may be, and it seemed that Orah was lucky enough to catch Gwen at a great time. Classes had let out for the Christmas break, which meant that there was no homework to do (or at least none that she wouldn't put off until the last minute), and with that unpaid hired help creepo assisting Krishna at Padma's Bouquet, Gwen had time to spare to help out her friend at her own store. What luck!

Ever the prideful one, Gwen gave Orah a friendly wave off, not meaning to dismiss her gratitude but simply stressing the matter for the umpteenth time since it apparently never settled in. "No problem! You know I can't say no to an assist... 'sides, it's crazy that anyone expects you to do all this work with your arm like that."

That was the more troubling matter for Gwen, and she couldn't help but fight down her guilt, even as she pulled a heavy crate up and transported the pots to the table nearby. For all her months working at Krishna's store, she was still a little clueless as far as botany and the finer details of the work, but manual labor she could do, as well as follow instructions. "Where you want this again? Hey, you should let me get that!"

Seeing Orah with the glassware must have brought out the Krishna in her, and she set the crate down and moved to her friend's side, ready to grab a few and get that started for her. Only when they were closer to each other did Gwen finally ask, keeping her voice down. "So, who do I gotta beat up?"

There were so many places Gwen was expecting the conversation to go at this point and though it didn't appear obvious, she understood Orah's frustration when it came to accepting help from others. Gwen knew that feeling all too well and yet there were so many times she just had to swallow her enormous sense of pride and accept it when it was given to her, an act that she had to endure countless times over already and had no desire of feeling again. It was just something about the human condition that kept rearing its ugly head from time to time and the only cure was to humor it until the wounds were healed.

Accepting the vase from Orah, Gwen was more than ready to bombard her with her best Penelope impersonation, but her friend's declination of allowing her to beat up her offender killed that mood entirely. Before she could insist it being necessary as punishment for hurting one of her friends and fellow member of the PSSG, Orah confessed the offender's fate, and Gwen was damn lucky to have caught the vase before it fell to the ground and shattered.

"Orah…" Gwen wasn't sure what to say in the matter, trying to imagine what kind of turmoil her friend was going through and wondering exactly what exactly happened. As blunt and impulsive as she was, she knew she had to handle this with some amount of tact, though tact was always her weakness. She set the vase down then moved to her friend's side, not wanting to sound curious in lieu of coming off as heartless to her friend's needs and the guilt she must have felt. "I'm sorry, I didn't know… and you're right, you should have called me, but… what happened? Do… you wanna talk about it?"

"Yeah, yeah, absolutely!" Gwen said, not meaning to speak so loud but not looking around to see if anyone overheard them. With a sense of urgency that she picked up from her employer at Padma's Bouquet, she placed the glass vases on the shelves and walked briskly to the register again, just in time to greet a customer ready for check out. She thought it'd be hard to put on a profession front, especially after finding out what had happened with her friend, but it seemed that some of Krishna rubbed off on Gwen and made the task much easier than she could possibly imagine.

Gwen hardly noticed when Orah returned with her father until she addressed her, and she flashed Orah's dad an eager smile, hoping to hide any turmoil from her expression as she gazed up at him. "Thanks, Mr. Gowan. Call me back if you need me, okay?"

Then she joined her friend back into the house, wanting to admire their home and how it was connected to their shop but her mind kept going back to her friend's wrist and her ordeal. She didn't want to push Orah too hard, but damn her curiosity for not wanting to be silenced. When they were far enough away from Orah's father, she spoke up, her voice low but hopefully still audible. "Orah, I'm sorry… whatever it is. I should have been there for you…"

This wasn't how she was hoping the night would go as Orah grabbed her hand in a protective manner, but once she entered dangerous territory with her friend, she wouldn't back down from it or shirk away, not when her friend needed her the most. At least that's what Gwen was telling herself and not vice versa…

"Still, I should have been there…" Gwen said in a hushed whisper, even when they entered Orah's room and the door was closed behind them. She took a moment to look at her friend's room and couldn't help but smile- not in a bad way, of course, but it was interesting to see just how out of touch she was with the whole 'girl vs boy' archetypes that tried to define them just by looking at another girl's room. And it was definitely a nice room, but that wasn't what was important to her at the moment, not so much as the one that lived in this room.

As Orah took a seat on the bed, Gwen took the bean back chair, her butt nearly hitting the wooden floor beneath when she came down too fast but she hardly paid it any mind as she looked to her friend and the small calico kitten that were on the bed. She waited a few moments in silence, admiring the kitten but also knowing that her friend was being much quieter than usual and unable to stand the silence for much longer. Finally, she scooted herself and the bean bag closer to Orah, as she asked, "So…?"

Gwen tried her best to listen to Orah's tale with an open mind, trying not to allow her impatience or her emotions get the better of her. Orah needed her to be strong and there for her, to make up for the fact that she wasn't there to help her earlier. She tried to put herself in her friend's shoes and couldn't blame her for wanting to take them on on her own, but then again, she was courageous, and completely reckless.

She didn't like anything that she heard and she hoped that the anger she felt was a justified feeling, as it was the first reaction she could think of. Part of her felt some pity for the captain that lost his life, but she was more angry at the thought of just how close she got to losing her friend's life! She vaguely recalled Shangri-la from the Maia's training event and made a mental note to thank him the next time she saw him for saving Orah's life.

"Sounds like the captain got what was coming to him…" Gwen said, crossing her arms and not meaning to sound heartless, but she couldn't stop the words from coming out of her mouth. She could understand Orah's and Shangri-la's guilt, but at the same time, she couldn't fault Shangri-la for his actions. "I'm sorry, that's a little dark for me to say, but he was obviously trying to kill you. Shangri-la did the right thing… even if he feels bad about it. Had he done nothing, then you'd… you'd be dead, then where would we be?"

She wasn't expecting Orah's apology, and she shook her head, "Don't apologize! You got nothing to apologize for… yeah, you should have called us, but trust me, I know it's not easy. When you're in the heat of the moment, you just sort of get caught up. Trust me, I know… I'm not that great on calling for back up myself. You know that."

Part of her was expecting the reaction she received from Orah, and while she did feel a little bit of guilt for ever saying it out loud, she couldn't completely shirk away from her stance either. She understood where Orah was coming from and part of that guilt she felt was the knowledge that she had pushed Bazzite into the 'condition' that he was in, but she just couldn't take back her words. Even when Orah was right, she could not tell herself to feel otherwise… and that was the worst part in all of this.

"It's wrong, I know… to kill them, but what was Shangri-la suppose to do? If I was in the same situation, what would you have wanted me to do? Let you die, because you don't want me to kill, even if it's the only way to save you?" Gwen shot back, knowing that she should have just been silent but supportive, that her friend needed someone to confide in and not someone to argue with. Yet, she couldn't stop herself from speaking, and worst of all she couldn't stop the bitterness in her tone, even if it wasn't directed at her friend. "It's not fair, you know. Saying that they're allowed to kill and hurt in this war, but when we fight to protect our friends and home, it's wrong. I'm not saying every one of us should just stooping to their level but when it comes to life and death, we can't let that stop us from doing what's right. Otherwise, what's the point?"

She wasn't helping. She knew she wasn't helping, but she couldn't stop herself. She was angry now, but not at Orah, nor Shangri-la, nor even the officer that tried to kill her friend and forced her into this situation. Just the situation itself, and it reflected in every fiber of her being.

Gwen watched her friend sit back down, never liking to see Orah worked up so much and wishing there was something she could do to help instead of agitating the situation. As passionate as she was, she apologized, and she opened Orah knew the sincerity behind it. "I'm sorry, Orah… I'm not saying that you nor Shangri-la shouldn't feel bad about what happened, but… you can't let this ruin you. Yeah, so that officer's dead, and maybe the officer didn't deserve it because they're only following orders, but killing someone to defend another isn't the same as just outright killing them. Sometimes that might be the only option, right? You're going to feel bad about it, but that's natural. And you two aren't proud of yourselves, so… that sets you apart from them, right? Am I making any sense? I'm not good with this…"

She felt so inadequate, and she HATED that feeling!

Gwen was worried that she had gone too far and had only made matters worse, though the worst part was that she never once regretted her words, nor how she felt. She didn't want anyone dead, but at the same time, the thought of her friend nearly losing her life riled her up. Suddenly, she knew how Benitoite felt, and as disgusted as she should have been to realize this, it was oddly humbling to her in a way.

Then Orah slid off the bed and reached for her hand, and without missing a beat, Gwen reached out and took it, hoping that it would be enough to comfort her in some way. Before she could worry about ruining their friendship forever, Orah was quick to chase that fear away, and Gwen let out a sigh at her friend's words. "We're soldiers, not murderers. We fight to protect the innocent and each other from Chaos, but we don't kill. Maybe it'd be better in the long run to kill our enemies, but… that'd make us like them. Then what would be the point, right? We're better than that. Even if it's strategically stupid…"

Not that Gwen knew jack about strategy, but even she knew that the war would go no where if neither side was defeated. Maybe purification was the answer, but it seemed like such a farfetched concept. It was all too much and too heavy for Gwen to want to deal with right now, and Orah's well-being was far more important to her right now. When Orah squeezed her hand, she returned the gesture and placed her other hand over it, letting her know that she was in safe hands. "Right, then. No killing, unless it's absolutely necessary or unavoidable. I think I can try my best to do that."

Then, without warning, Gwen tried to pull Orah in for a hug, as though her words wouldn't have been enough. She just wanted Orah to be safe...