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[Q]Olufemi Kokumo::Senshi Asterope Senshi of Graffiti(crit?)

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awkward soliloquy

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 03, 2013 2:23 pm


Name: Olufemi Kokumo

Nickname: Ollie to her American friends, Femi to her family, and Princess!Smack to her street art admirers

Age:19

Birthday: April 3rd

Sign: Aries

Gemstone: Diamond (haters, byyyye~)

Blood Type: Type B

Fav. Food: Mama’s moinmoin, a super delicious bean.. thing. She attempts to force it on all of her friends.

Hated Food: Well, it’s not a food, but coffee makes her sick, so veto on any espresso dates.

School: Graduated from St. Magdalena’s, now attends Destiny City University for gender studies.

Job: Barista at Teasvatta

Hobbies:

Street Art – Old habits die hard. Though she rarely has the time to go wander and vandalize under the hood of night as she used to in her good ol’ days, Ollie always feels the need to beautify every street corner. She loved mixed media projects involving natural resources, and still keeps a stash of dried flowers and leaves to use. Her art tend to reflect something poignant in her past, though she is frequently inspired by the interactions between . You can always tell when her muses have struck from the acrylic paint under her nails the next day.

Museum Aficionado – Ollie is a culture nerd. Coming from a family deeply entrenched in their native culture, Ollie has felt out of place most of her life, and attempts to compensate by learning about the culture of the area she now lives in. Her personal favorite is the art museum, where she makes fun of “fine art” in order to see the workers there squirm.

Let’s Go Out! – Club rat, plain and simple. Ollie is always up late, and loves nothing more than flashing lights and shakin’ her groove thang. Any style of music is good with her (she even owns a pair of cowboy boots!) as long as she can dance until sunrise. And, you know, if a good-looking stranger happens to be her partner for the evening, well.. all the better!

Virtues:

Open-minded – An outsider herself, Ollie loves to love on people. A firm defender of those dealing with discrimination, Ollie tries to make everyone feel welcome by accepting people as they are. She loves to hear people’s stories and learn what makes them tick, and will frequently compliment people if she feels they break the mold even the slightest bit.

Nyahhh~ so cute!/Childlike – Though she may be a bit of a rebel at times, Ollie has a spirit more like a little girl than anything else. She loves all things cute, and interacts with people with a youthful naivety that is sometimes rare in a big city. Things like Saturday morning cartoons, balloon animals, and coloring books fill her with unmatched glee, and she will never ever turn down a pretty cupcake.

Let’s DO this!/Ambition – College is hard, okay? Ollie is studying gender studies and has big dreams of making it as.. uh.. well, something big. Her real dream is to become a famous street artist that inspires millions on millions of young women to follow their passions. Even in smaller tasks and errands, she strives to do it big and impressive, wanting not only to succeed but to succeed in the most super awesome way possible.

Flaws:

Are you with me or not?!/Distrust – Ollie is highly suspicious of others, and as such, has trouble keeping friendships. She’s been hurt a lot, and that’s spawned a lot of distrust for people who express interest in her. With time, this goes away, but it’s been a huge barrier for her throughout her life.

Overload – As a highly passionate person Ollie has an issue with collecting responsibilities she has no time for. She has very little time to her schedule between school, her family, and work at Teasvatta, but she just wants to do so many things that it’s hard for her to say no when presented with a new opportunity.

Childish – While being childlike can be a really awesome thing, it can also be extremely aggravating. When Ollie is upset with something, she has very little emotional regulation and will easily throw the world’s biggest temper tantrum.

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION
User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

Eyes: Wide gray eyes with a large black ring around them. Fairly wide-set, actually.

Hair: Ollie wears her hair in two styles, so whichever the artist eventually chooses works for me!

x. Senegalese twists pulled into a half-up, half-down style. She loves to pin pressed flowers into them while wearing this style.

x. Natural frohawk. Yeah, that’s right. The sides of her hair in this style are normally braided up into the frohawk, but when she works this, her hair is big, poofy, and freaking awesome. This style is for when she’s feeling particularly sassy/fierce.

Face: Ollie has a strong jawline and plush lips which she loves to accentuate. She is a huge make up fan, and is frequently seen wearing bold shadow and lipstick choices. She’s very self-conscious of her prominent nose. She has a single piercing – a slender rose gold hoop in her right nostril.

Clothes: Something to work off of: she looooves accessories, so feel free to add anything you might think is fun.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 03, 2013 2:24 pm


Senshi: Senshi Asterope, Senshi of Graffiti

Challenge: Are you ready to be my canvas?

Fuku Colour:

Main Color: Amethyst

Secondary Color: Tiffany blue

Fuku:
What I’d really love would be some traditional African style infused, but I wanted to leave a lot of artistic freedom

Collar – A heavy scarf with small paper doll like figures cut out of it

Bow --

Bodice – Leave some midriff showin’, would ya?

Sleeves --

Brooch – A spraypaint can would be awesome!

Bottoms --

Tiara – Beaded, something like this!

Choker

Shoes – Something with paint splotches would be great! :]

Gloves --

Accessories – Beaded arm bands! A paint mask if at all possible :3


Attacks:

Sailor Scout Attack: Super Spraypaint!
Action: Asterope draws in the air in huge sweeps on her arms, with each sweep spraying a colored, thick mist. If the enemy is within six feet, it is bogged down by coughing and blurred/color tinted vision. This lasts for two to three turns depending on how close

Super Sailor Scout Attack: Sticky Paint Attack!
Asterope draws in the air with huge sweeps of her arms, each sweep creating a thick paint glob flying at her opponent. If the paint blobs land, the opponent is frozen in place for 45 seconds, and receives small acid-like burns where the paint lands.

Eternal Sailor Attack: Asterope Stencil Bomb!
Asterope braces herself and whips off her scarf, blowing through the figures cut into it. These figures are about half a foot tall and look like thin paper dripping with paint. If they successfully land on the enemy, they create minor explosions. If Asterope is knocked over or disturbed in anyway during the process of this attack, the small paper figures disappear.

awkward soliloquy

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awkward soliloquy

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 03, 2013 2:25 pm


Hope I did this right eek
PostPosted: Tue Jan 14, 2014 2:16 pm


awkward soliloquy


Hi awkward! Let's get going so Ollie can get approved~

ON THE CIVILIAN SIDE:

Right now, her "Childlike" virtue could use some more elaboration; is this something she's very open about? Why do people like her for it? Do they find it endearing?

I also find some conflicts in her "Ambition" virtue, since the first two sentences read as very much more "childhood dreamer." The trait would be improved by just cutting out the mention of her college work, since her dreams/ambition really has nothing to do with it!

I'm finding a conflict in her being Open-Minded but also Distrustful. How is it that she is eager to love everyone and help people but doesn't really trust anyone? A little elaboration on how these fit together would be helpful!

ON THE POWERED SIDE:

Unfortunately, while graffiti is certainly old enough to be a senshi sphere and goes back thousands of years, spraypaint is not going to be a valid manifestation of this sphere because it is not! Senshi magic reflects ancient roots. I unfortunately can't think of any suggestions for alternate attacks (which bothers me because I usually like to suggest some, but you have a pretty hard sphere to work with!)

Quote me once you've made changes and I'll be back for another look!


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 11:59 am


awkward soliloquy


Hey hey hey! I've been admiring this quest from afar, but since you're asking from crit I figure I'll hit you up? Anyway, blah blah blah, I'm not official, if you think I'm full of s**t just tell me so.

General
All this looks great. smile I love that you've infused bits of her personality into these segments.

Hobbies
These are really strong already! I have one or two questions about each.

Street art: Has she ever had any run-ins with the law, or what precautions does she take in order to keep out of trouble? Is her street art the reason she was sent to St. Mags?

Museum Aficionado: What form does her mocking "fine art" take? Does she have particular derision for a specific category of art - portraits of old white dudes? Impressionism? Sculptures, "modern art," etc?

Let's Go Out!: Is Ollie looking for anything when she goes out, other than a good time? Is she into dating/hooking up? (Your comment re: attractive partners got me wondering.)

Virtues:

Open-Minded: This is great! I have nothing to add.

Childlike: I agree with song that this warrants some expansion. Right now it's sort of halfway between a flaw (naïveté doesn't really have positive connotations) and a hobby (she likes cute things! She eats cupcakes!). Is she optimistic? Bubbly? What about her remains "childlike" in a way that people find endearing and praise-worthy?

Ambition: I agree with Song's point here, the uncertainty in the first two sentences undermines the rest of the trait. Maybe you could talk about her work ethic with regards to her college courses? Even though she doesn't have an exact goal in mind re: her degree, are there reasons why obtaining her BA is important to her? Does she still want to succeed, just to say that she did?

Flaws:

Distrust: I would like to know about where this comes from. It's okay to imbue your character's traits with some of their history, and with Ollie, it seems like it might be a good idea to make this more specific and personalized by explaining not only how this trait makes her behave but also what experiences have made her this way, since you imply that her behavior is justified based on things in her past. Also, does this trait only impact platonic friendships, or does it extend to potential romantic interests as well?

Overload: What are the consequences of Ollie biting off more than she can chew? Do some things fall by the wayside, or does she struggle to get everything done? Does she exhaust herself making sure everything is done properly, or do things wind up half-assed?

Childish: Are there any other downsides to her immaturity? Beyond that one question, this looks good! I can definitely see where it would get her into trouble.

Appearance

While it doesn't show up in art, it's good to think about what Ollie's body type is like. Is she tall or short, fat, thin, somewhere in the middle? Toned or frail?

Powered!

What Song said.

Anyway, Ollie's a total cutie and she's already in really great shape! Good luck. biggrin
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