Welcome to Gaia! ::

A great deal of thought always went into anything concerning Dr. H, and this was certainly not exempt. The purpose of this visit had been on Mimsy's mind for quite some time now; she imagined methods and scenarios in great detail, in hopes of proving herself in some capacity.

As she stared at the door to his office, however, she was disappointed to discover that she still had no idea conclusive idea of how she should proceed with this. Maybe she shouldn't.

Before she could convince herself that this was not a necessary course of action, she straightened her posture, smoothed her hair, and knocked.

The response from the other side of the door was a clear indicator to come in, but she still hesitated as her hand pressed against it, wondering if arriving unannounced for this would really be okay.

Leaving would probably be worse, ultimately, so she opened the door, closed it behind her, and stood no more than two steps inside as she watched him wash his hands. She didn't hesitate this time, because even she knew how creepy it would be to silently admire his hygiene.

"Hello, Doctor. I apologize if my timing is inconvenient. I hoped to..." Was there a specific word? Something that might sound more official? She felt increasingly more unprepared. "...talk."

Smart.

"Perhaps extensively. Are you available at the moment, or would it be more preferable to schedule a meeting?"

All of the determined attempts that Mimsy made to avoid staring while he cleaned his hands were beginning to fail. She briefly closed her eyes to reward herself with a momentary victory.

"It is not my intention to try your patience or bore you - I presume that you will stop me or change the pace to something with more potential, should that occur." She unbuttoned her top two coat buttons, then stopped after the third. "At least, I should hope so. I am slightly more resilient than my appearance might imply. I doubt that it needs to be said, but I do not require a gentle approach."

It was meant to be a joke, and she smiled a small, crooked smile in his direction as she reached into her coat, retrieving the folder that had been placed there for safekeeping.

"During the events of a recent..." She opened the folder and cleared her throat. "Impromptu mission, I witnessed an interaction of Hunter bodies with what appeared to be parasitic castaways of Insanity. I could not find any accessible information that confirmed that Insanity previously functioned in this capacity - only FEAR. Has it?"

Adjacent to what appeared to be the abstract cover sheet of a report was a meticulously-drawn diagram of a large, grey arthropod and several smaller wormlike creatures. There were lines and spaces for labels, but all of them were left blank. It seemed best to avoid being too presumptuous.

Just watching him read her material felt like a privilege, and Mimsy finally had to momentarily avert her gaze to retain her composure. The eyes that were fixated on him when he looked up at the papers were calm once more, albeit a bit brighter.

"I see." She returned the smile with one both shy and eager, before glancing down towards the drawing. "I have noted a general disregard among my peers, especially those in other divisions, towards the rapid evolution of Insanity. I do not intend to point fingers or make accusations, but my observations indicate that they tend to combat it as if it were no different than the FEAR the corruption originated from, and the failure to adjust and account for its state-shifts can be a lethal one. This issue is always very present within my mind; so, with great respect, doctor...I was hoping to inquire about the Insanity study."

After (quickly) taking a deep breath, she began to elaborate.

"I understand the limitations of my status as a trainee, of course, but I am willing to offer any assistance to the study that I am capable of providing. Matter that functions in this way is incredible." She exhaled a shuddering breath through an uneven smile of genuine excitement, cheeks flushing at the thought of pursuit. "I simply could not forgive myself if I did not ask. It would be an incomparable opportunity to work on this, and I must admit that the idea of specializing in it is still appealing, but I feel as if I have much to learn before that is a consideration."

Mimsy giggled, and stifled it with a little cough.

"Yes, sir. You are entirely correct." How nice it was, to receive validation for the fact that Life was the division of highest superiority, from the most superior Hunter on the island himself. "I will take care to remember this in the future."

The silence that followed was not one that she wanted to break, so she quietly kept her gaze on him as she tried to avoid fidgeting. There was a look of eager anticipation in her eyes now, something almost hungry, but she waited very patiently. It was important to behave, like she was supposed to.

When he spoke, she lit up, eyes wide, and it seemed for a moment that she might raise her hand. She managed to avoid doing so, but could no longer maintain the level of calm, professional stability that had already begun slipping during her last explanation. It was impossible to hide her fascination this time, and she looked like she would squeal ooh, ooh, I know this at any second.

"Ah! It reminds me of one of the points that I found most intriguing in my chosen field of study in my previous life. I liken it to the similarities between ordinary matter, dark matter, and dark energy, which all interact and exist among one another to form one complete whole, an equation necessary for the universe as we know it. This is not a perfect analogy, of course, and dark matter may very well be FEAR itself, but--"

Her cheeks flushed, and she smiled apologetically, ashamed that she had already allowed herself to get so far off course. That was simply unacceptable. A simple answer was all that she intended to She took a deep breath, momentarily bowed her head in a second apology, then continued.

"They relate to one another in the same way that all other states of matter do. They are all matter as well, in the universe that we know." She sorely wished that she had brought more paper - asking for some was absolutely not an option. Instead, she used a pen from her pocket to write on her palm, which she then held towards him. The sweat-smudged symbols were put together into an equivalence equation, using the variables f, i, and d. The variables appeared to have some sort of transitive relation, with 'd' as the greatest relative value.

And Mimsy appeared to have forgotten her previous decision about simplicity.

"If we consider FEAR as the standard state of matter, then supercharged, heavily condensed FEAR matter takes on another state: Distortion. Insanity is the state of this matter in which the structure of the matter seemingly begins to decay or mutate." With a pause and an 'er', she shook her head once. "I am not entirely sure which of the two this might be, at my current level of study. That aside, however, Distortion and Insanity have their own interaction, wherein the state of Distortion appears to successfully combat Insanity. This is necessary due to the fact that Insanity otherwise spreads among all standard matter, potentially consuming it at levels of permanence. A suitable balance is crucial among each state of matter for the sake of our survival, much like the requisite balance of 'normal' matter on Earth. Additionally...and I cannot quite determine the relation of this portion of information...but Distortion correlates with memories, which do not necessarily need to be fearful recollections."

She pointed at each variable as she explained it, which really just smudged them even worse. When she was finished, she opened her mouth and took another breath, intending to go on - then smiled instead, as she had remembered the importance of simplicity again.

Typically, the meetings with her academic superiors didn't include drinks, but Mimsy knew better than to find something odd at Deus just because it was not typical. She cheerfully met his question, and appeared as enthusiastic to answer this question as she had the last.

"Well, I...oh." She had been fully prepared to explain herself only a second ago, until something clicked. "Oh."

With a hand as unsteady as she felt at the moment, she reached for the second glass, took a generous sip, and stared at nothing as she attempted to recalculate. As hesitant as she was to consider anything impossible, it didn't take long for her to determine that a complete reassessment could not happen right now.

"I dedicated much of my life towards the research effort to discover conclusive evidence of the Higgs Boson, sir. Far too much, if I am speaking honestly." Her smile was sheepish this time. "I grew very familiar with the intricacies of matter, so it has overwhelmingly dictated the way that I view all of the research that I approach. This is no excuse, of course. I presumed that it more strongly correlated with matter, as it has the capability to create and visibly, but I cannot say that it would not work out to be the same if these were forms of energy, rather than states of matter."

She exhaled heavily, mind weighed down with more thoughts than she could bear.

"The idea could certainly begin to explain quite a lot, and complicates others all the same," she laughed, pressing the heel of her palm to her forehead.

The scrutiny in his gaze was not entirely unfamiliar to Mimsy, and she waited with a willing acceptance for his inevitable commentary. When none came, her brow twitched with confusion, but she made no mention of it either.

Nor did she say anything in regards to her pet projects, though it did merit a sly grin that she directed into the drink in her hand. What he said next, however, pulled her attention back to him alone. She fell silent for a short while, but the lull in conversation didn't feel tense in the slightest; it was comfortable, to the contrary, something more necessary than not.

"This is surely already apparent to you, but I trust you implicitly." She tipped her glass up, just enough for it to touch her lips and the end of her tongue, and she held the taste in her mouth as she considered the remainder of her response.

"Is there another field that would benefit more substantially from my focus, in your opinion? Discomfort is not an issue, if that is the primary concern. Progression of knowledge is my greatest priority above all else, and I would much rather be useful than simply humored." Idly, she tilted the glass from one side to the other, keeping her thin fingers carefully wrapped around it. "I am not making a plea for you answer in my stead, but I firmly believe that your input will allow me to make an adequately informed decision, so...where am I of use to you?"