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 Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 7:46 pm
Who: Cruz and Cesc
When: Night, about two hours after the helicopters have arrived at the village
Where: Outside the medical area
Weather: Humid and still warm
Rhedefre's face was still stained with mud.
They'd washed his face and hair to get to his wound, poured water over him and slicked his hair back as best they could, but there was still debris coming out the fourth or fifth pitcher. His face seemed stained with brown smudges, patches of dried blood and mud still clinging stubbornly to his stubble, but the area around his temple the nurse scrubbed with the heady sting of alcohol until it looked like skin again. They stitched him up and put a bandage over him, worked on the cuts on his arms and the bite on his shoulder until Rhedefre felt raw and smelt of iodine and alcohol and hospital.
They shined a light in his eyes and asked him to answer questions, asked him how his head felt.
Fine, he said. It felt fine.
Only, it didn't feel quite fine. It felt like it was buzzing, and his eyes felt like he'd been punched in both, and his chest hurt in a strange and distant way, like someone was trying to squeeze his heart through layers of fabric. And there were strips of velvet gone from his antlers and the doctor wasn't quite sure what to do about it, and Cesc could only think: There's someone we could ask, but I don't think he's in much of a state to answer you now.
He came back out into the night air to wait for the bus's departure. His jacket was a bundle in his bandaged hands, his shirt stained but at least partly serviceable. He still smelled of sweat under the mask of pure alcohol and antibacterial creams. But he had to wait for others to get checked out before they could go.
Just a little while.
He flexed his fingers. They were cumbersome and could not move well under the bandages. Where was everyone else? Anya, Reks? Zeke? Eiry? Melisande? Maybe already aboard the bus, trying to sleep. Or still in the medical center. They'd been separated by the helicopter. He could see someone hovering close by, the green-haired Raevan who'd wept so bitterly at ground zero. Was he being taken care of? Had they given him any medical attention?
Better than being in the jungle.
Cesc floated toward the other Raevan. His eyes were still distant, glassy. His cheeks were bright where he'd been scrubbed, and his hair was pink again -- a different, but still recognizable figure from earlier.
"Hey," he said to the other Raevan, and his voice had a low, floating quality to it. "Are you alright now?"
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Posted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 2:55 pm
When the helicopter descended, Cruz was very quickly left alone. Zeke and Ronan were quickly wheeled off to have their injuries checked and Anastacia almost seemed to vanish. Only Anita stayed with him for a few minutes following touch down but then she was urged away to receive medical attention as well. Their ride was the first of many and each one would contain injured participants.
So then why was he there? He looked himself over again and again, top to bottom, left to right, in any reflective surface he could find, and still the only thing that made him worse for wear was how dirty he was and the prominent redness around his eyes. Tear stains cut through the thin layer of dirt and grime covering him. Even compared to others he wasn't particularly dirty. He wasn't beaten, battered, or bruise. He wasn't bleeding. He hadn't even broken skin.
The frei stared at his right arm and flexed his fingers slowly. It still carried a tingle, pins and needles, but it dulled from the acute pain that accompanied movement some hours ago. Each movement felt clunky, sluggish, almost like the arm wasn't his own.
Was that really the worst he had to show for all of this? Melisande had been more injured than he was. How could he have let that happen?
Everyone around him had done something productive, something to try and further everyone else's safety and neutralize the foreign threat. What had he done? He laid down and cried. That was his accomplishment, his slice of this victory if it could even be called that. Even those who were injured comforted him. It was pathetic. He was so useless.
He floated lazily not a few yards from the medical station. Cruz's ribbon was low, tattered end resting on the ground and dragging slightly as it continued its slow twirl. The croc held his afflicted arm to his chest, cradled it, but he scarcely moved. Green eyes were locked on the ground, his entire face feeling sore and swollen but his expression was mostly blank save for a pair of quivering lips and creased brows.
"Hey."
It was soft and the sound didn't startle him but Cruz barely registered he was being addressed. At the question, he lifted his head and gave a short sweep of the immediate area until he found a vibrant pair of eyes locked on his own. Another raevan, the stag from before who now appeared much cleaner. As a result he almost looked like a completely different frei but the silhouette was the same.
"Mm..."
Cruz murmured, hesitantly bringing one hand to rest on his cheek as he looked back down. Tears still escaped but at a much slower rate.
It was happening again. Someone much worse off was asking him how he was when it should have been the opposite. This time felt worse. Cruz's face contorted back to pain as his shoulders hunched, his claws digging into his hair. This was the one who cradled Ana, whose touch calmed her into an unresponsive state -- but hadn't killed her, not as he originally thought. Even though she didn't react to him in the helicopter, she was still breathing. The croc drew a sharp inhale, mouth hanging open uselessly as he was wracked with another round of fretful sobs. He tried to speak but all that came out were barely audible wheezes. The only thing he could do was nod, and he did so quickly. Then it felt like he couldn't stop.
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Posted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:19 pm
The response disarmed Rhedefre. He hadn't expected to make the green frei worse, or bring on another round of tears and weeping, and the sight of it made his heart clench and his fingers cold. Had something else happened? Had they lost someone, had someone died? Cesc's jaw loosened as the frei began to sob and he started, dropping his jacket and hurrying to the green one's side.
"Hey, hey." Rhedefre's voice was hoarse but soothing, quiet and low but uneven, like a fire crackling. He wound an arm around the frei's shoulders, bracing him and embracing him, and concentrated on vibrating his calm aura outward.
Lord, there was so little of it left. Cesc felt like there was so little of him left, like he was half-transparent, like he was a layer of gauze over the light that made him him.
He didn't know what to ask or what to say. His mind was like a hungry rat in an overcomplicated maze, constantly running into dead-ends but desperately wanting a solution now. He'd shown himself to be a terrible protector and a godawful solver of problems, and he was ill-equipped to deal with sobbing the cause of which he did not know.
His bandages were rough on the crocodile's skin, and his grip was gentle. Just that effort caused his arms to tremble. "Hey, you're okay. You're okay."
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Posted: Sun Dec 01, 2013 10:22 pm
Suddenly there was movement. Cruz tried to recoil but he could hardly move, save for his jagged breath and tears. An arm wrapped around him while his own arms held out. He couldn't hold this one back, as much as he wanted to. The stag was far too damaged -- anywhere he touched could hurt him. Even his voice carried wounds, but despite that there was a calmness, a sense of ease, and it gave the crocodile pause.
For a moment he held his breath. His eyes opened wide as he searched all around, trying to examine the injured frei without moving against him or pushing away. There was warmth. Warmth between them, somehow, and it was relaxing. The forest was humid and uncomfortable now, even though that was typically the most favorable weather for him. It felt suffocating in the helicopter, at the cliff, and here in the village until the gentle warmth of this frei pushed it back. A wave of understanding hit him and Cruz nearly crumbled against Rhedefre.
This... This was what he had done to Anya. This one, here, had pulled her back from her rage and pain and calmed her like he was trying so hard to do now. Trying to calm and comfort him, the wholly unscathed and utterly useless member of this search.
Cruz's arms fell limp at his sides. His shoulders hunched and his head came to weakly rest on Cec's shoulder. Though his tears didn't stop, and in fact fell harder, he couldn't muster any sound for several moments. Only when he drew in a deep, desperate breath did he managed to cough and whine.
"I am..." his voice barely had volume, it practically came out as a wheeze, "I'm okay..." The frei hissed and clenched his eyes shut, hands finding their way to his hair. "N-no one else...! You -- you're not!" Cruz's entire half-form trembled with the weight of his emotions. It took all of his energy just to stay afloat, if only to not drag this poor soul to the ground with him. "Please don't...! I d-don't need it... Y-you do! Why--" why were they all worried about him? Even Ronan, as injured and bandaged as he was, offered comfort but he didn't need it. He was fine. That was the problem.
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Posted: Thu Dec 05, 2013 6:38 pm
For a moment, Cesc lingered there with Cruz on his shoulders, letting the other frei cry on him for as long as he needed. The stag's mind began to whirr, trying to understand the cause for Cruz's distress, but all that circled in his head were questions. He was so tired, so drained, that his eyelids began to close as Cruz's arms fell limply down. If he could just sleep... just for a moment...
"I am..."
Rhedefre's eyes snapped back open as the crocodile began to speak, his voice hoarse and tight. The stag's ears flicked gently at the sound of it, and he craned his head to try to see the weeping frei as he spoke.
It was so garbled, such a mess of emotions. All that Cesc could garner from him was a sense of aimlessness, a feeling of loss that had more questions than concrete solutions. The words were barely better, although the request to stop came through loud and clear, and stunned the stag momentarily.
Stop?
Stop helping?
The frei was trembling, and Cesc did not withdraw his arms from him, instead staring with some confusion, his tired eyes watching Cruz carefully, trying to decide what to do. He didn't need it, he said -- but he seemed to need it, and need it more with each passing second.
"A..." Rhedefre let out a sound and then stopped, frowning. A faint expression of exhaustion, frustration, was leeching into the brightness of his eyes. "Are you... I -- I am sorry. I do not understand. Please, I ... am not well, I couldn't catch your meaning. Tell me, what's wrong? What can I do? If not me, can I call for someone?"
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Posted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 11:10 am
Cruz didn't shy away from the stag's continued contact, perhaps a mixed signal; his touch was nice and he enjoyed the comfort, he did, absolutely and in all ways, but he was not the one who needed comfort in this situation. He was the last person in this entire search and rescue, this entire village who needed to be checked on, doted upon, or watched over.
The other frei's confusion was noted and it pulled Cruz back from getting completely lost in his sorrow. He gave a harsh sniffle through his teeth, barely able to breathe though his nose at this point.
"I know -- I know you're not well," the croc whimpered, wiping roughly at his eyes, "That's what's wrong. No one... no one's well. I'm fine but no one else...!"
His shoulders slumped and his head lolled, barely held up by his own two hands. Why was this so hard to explain?
A sharp, jagged breath wracked his floating form. Cruz fell into a short fit of coughs before attempting to pull away from the stag and look at him properly. His eyes were so soaked with tears he could barely make out anything on him except his pink mane, the vague shape of his antlers, and the distinct contrast between his visible skin and the bandages. Cruz's face ached horribly but it refused to stop twisting into wretchedly pained expressions, his eyes completely reddened and irritated. The meager layer of dirt caked on his skin atop the healthy tan he acquired from the Summer sun was cut through by his tears in distinct streams.
Cruz reached out, both hands trembling as he hesitantly took Cesc's shoulders. "I w-want to help... b-but I don't know how...! I can't do anything! I can't--"' his breath left, the momentary conviction in his voice turning to a weak whisper as his head hung. Loose green hair fall over his shoulders and obscured his face. The small, fin-like wings shivering upon his back collapsed.
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Posted: Tue Dec 24, 2013 8:31 pm
He was upset because he was... well?
The look of confusion only grew across Cesc's battered features. Cruz seemed so unbearably upset, so entirely heartbroken, that Cesc could not account for his reaction. Someone had kept him safe. Someone had helped him and led him and cared for him, successfully. Or else there had been luck, a wonderful and merciful luck, that had spared him.
Shouldn't he feel grateful?
No, no. Cesc's mind was quiet as it spoke. What of all the rest? What if he came out unscathed, when Anya had writhed on the jungle floor in pain and misery, when Reks had almost died, when Zeke had lost his sight? What if he had been perfectly fine while Rivener screamed and Melisande tried to give herself up, and Eiry wept, bloodied?
Survivor's guilt. He'd heard of such a thing.
"Don't," the stag said, very quietly. He squeezed Cruz's shoulders. "Don't do this to yourself. You can help. You will help, if you want. We all want to go home, to get out of here, to know where to go and that we can sleep until we get there. Does anyone need anything for food? Or to be led from the medics? If you have the wherewithal..."
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Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 9:10 pm
The green frei could scarcely breathe, let alone anything deep. For a moment panic was setting back in and it was only the stag's grip on his shoulders and his comforting voice that kept Cruz grounded, even if Cesc's powers were depleted.
His words drifted in and out of understanding. Not quite in one ear and out the other so much as in one ear and only halfway reaching his brain. The rest of his meanings settled elsewhere, some in Cruz's heart, others in his rune. He felt the dawn raevan's sentiment even if he didn't quite understand what was being asked of him and, though it didn't clear his head, it did help calm him down. Somehow, someway, he could help. He wasn't useless. That's what he was being told but, until he managed to do something, it wouldn't be true.
"I-I don't--" he didn't know.
Any of what Cesc was asking, about food and medics, things he could do, Cruz didn't know any of it. But he did have the wherewithal.
"I w-want to-- I want to help!" Though his voice was frantic it was stuck somewhere in a whisper. His throat whined between words and each breath wheezed from the effort.
The only problem was he didn't know where to start. "C-can I-- can I help you? Is there anything--"
Cesc was already bandaged, had he just recently come from first-aid? Food, could he feed the stag somehow? Should he take Cesc to the bus? He was injured, he should be resting. And, oh, where was Anita? Was she still getting her arm patched up? Cruz rested his hands on Cesc's arms, anywhere that wasn't battered, and looked around wildly until he spotted the bus. Some were beginning to filter inside but who knew how long until they would be alright to leave?
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2014 12:33 pm
Cesc slumped as his words seemed to burrow, exhaustion settling a curtain over his eyes. He had a strange feeling as though his mind and body were out of sync, like the world was beginning to spin off its axis if he didn't right things soon. He looked at Cruz like a lifeline, the one fixed spot as the world began tilting.
He wanted to help. But he needed help, first.
"The bus," the stag whispered. "Help me get there... there will be others after me. Let's go." He paused, drawing breath. "Let's go home."
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2014 5:27 pm
The croc's brows creased and bundled up high over his wide, wet, and reddened eyes. Seeing this one so close, trying to help him despite the stag's own injuries, the lack of concern for himself over others, it just broke Cruz more. So finally, when the battered frei relented and asked for assistance, Cruz exhaled sharply with relief and the tears nearly started again.
Home. Minerva and Tango were waiting. Anita needed to be home, too.
"Yes," he begged.
His hands gently reached for Cesc, hovering over his arms. Green eyes scanned over every inch of him for somewhere uninjured, not covered in bandage, before touching. Permission was already given, as far as he understood. Cruz guided one of Cesc's arms over his shoulders. Without the use of legs, perhaps it was a silly motion, but floating required energy for Cruz and if it gave out he would just fall to the floor. Perhaps this one was the same.
The trip was short. Cruz hovered low with compensating Cesc's extra (though meager) weight until they reached the bus doors. No one else seemed to have filtered in yet, though there were some loitering outside. Rows of empty seats greeted them. Carefully, Cruz guided the stag into the nearest one but did not fully release the other frei's arm. He stared with the same frantic concern, lost for words while his brain ran a mile a minute.
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Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2014 4:09 pm
Cesc sank down into the bus seat, the quiet of the bus and the purr of its engine snaking into his head. He was so exhausted, he could hardly tell the sounds apart from each other. Cicadas -- were there cicadas? Was it the reptilian rumble that Cruz sometimes made? No, the engine, it was the engine, wasn't it? His mind went in circles.
"I'm fine," he murmured to Cruz, his head against the window pane, leaving streaks as he bobbed. His eyes, usually so bright in darkness, flickered as his eyelids sank. "Others -- bring others so we can go home."
His voice sank with the rest of him. He breathed, fog against the window, and closed his eyes.
"Let's go home..."
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Posted: Thu May 15, 2014 7:11 pm
He clutched weakly at Cesc's arm. Green eyes flitted to Cesc's own darkening ones, to his messy hair against the window, his dulled rune and the bandages across his skin.
"Fine", he said. He was so far from it.
Was this all he could do?
Cruz's breath caught in his throat. His lips clamped shut as he stared with woeful dedication as the stag issued another request. There was more. There was still work to do.
"Y-yes," the croc nodded desperately, "Yes. Home..."
Ever so gently, Cruz patted Cesc's shoulder. He was here now, he was resting, and he gave Cruz direction. It would be safe to leave him for now. Cruz finally released him and floated back, gripping the surrounding head rests to stare anxiously at him from a small distance. Only a few seconds passed before he moved further, back toward the door. He chewed his lip carefully despite his nerves.
Leaving in silence didn't feel right to the croc. That wasn't the last thing he wanted to say to one so weary. Just before heading back out to gather others, Cruz craned his neck over the seats and offered what little solace he could.
"We'll be home soon..."
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