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Posted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 12:54 pm
So, most of us know that it's generally accepted Christian doctrine that vanity is something to be avoided, which makes sense given that vanity is usually an expression of pride and/or low self-esteem (and as oxymoronic as it seems at first glance, pride and low self-esteem are not mutually exclusive).
But I think most people would also agree that it's a good thing to look presentable. That is, basic hygiene (brushing teeth, combing hair, shaving, bathing, etc.), clothing that is clean, fits well, and is in good repair. I doubt that God condemns people who dress badly and/or have poor hygiene (if you're sleeping on the streets and panhandling to feed yourself, it's no mystery that new clothes and a daily shower have moved down your list of priorities), but having SOME concern about your overall appearance or normal and necessary.
So where is the line between common courtesy and vanity? Some things are more obvious and widely accepted (such as avoiding especially revealing clothing) while other things are often debated heatedly (make up, dying hair, piercings, tattoos, etc.).
Where do you stand on the issue? (I'll post my opinion in a separate post.)
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Posted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 1:46 pm
While I do not feel that dress and outward appearance are theological deal-breakers, the fact remains that nearly everyone judges people by how they look to some degree. Whether or not you think that's right, it's reality, so it's best to act accordingly.
How you choose to present yourself to others is an opportunity to give people some insight into who you are. I'm not saying that your clothes define you as a person, but the way you look is often the first impression a person gets of you, so it makes sense to have that impression be positive.
Obviously the basic things I mentioned in the OP are important. If you put no effort into how you look and you're dirty, unwashed, and wearing ill-fitting clothing with holes in them, you may give people the impression that you're lazy and apathetic, which is not a personality that most people want to deal with professionally, romantically, or platonically.
Personally, I love piercings and tattoos, but visible, excessive body modifications are not really appropriate to show off while doing the work I do. There is a stereotype surrounding people with loads of ink and metal all over their body, and although I'm aware that not everyone (myself included) with piercings and tattoos are criminals, gang members, anarchist , Satanist freaks. If I don't want that stigma to follow me around, I need to present myself rather conservatively and clean-cut. I do have several piercings and tattoos, but I intentionally got them in places that are easy to hide when I'm fully-clothed because I can't afford to get turned down for gigs just because I HAD to have that giant purple butterfly etched into my face. Also, my tattoos are really more sentimental than aesthetic.
And there are things I do for no reason aside from the fact that I think it looks better. I certainly don't need to shave my face to survive, but I don't look very good with facial hair. I recently got contact lenses because I need corrective lenses to legally drive and I hate how I look in glasses (and my vision has gotten worse than it used to be and I can't just ignore it anymore). I use antiperspirant even tough underarm sweat is obviously not life-threatening. You get the picture.
I think spending hours on your make up and outfit every day is excessive, as is spending obscene amounts of money on designer clothes. Putting yourself at increased risk for skin cancer just to get a tan is pretty stupid to me.
Cosmetic surgery (that isn't reconstructive after an accident or something) is something I'm iffy on. If God wanted you to have bigger boobs, He would have given them to you and you wouldn't have had to buy them from Dr. Slice and Dice. It just seems so...extreme, but a lot of people say that about tattoos and piercings, too, which is the main reason why I hesitate to trash-talk cosmetic surgery. The thing is, though, piercings and tattoos are not really altering the "blueprints" of your body. They're just putting a little decoration on the top. I see piercings and tattoos akin to putting frosting on a cake, whereas cosmetic surgery is like deconstructing a cake and putting it back together in a different design.
I mean, I think cosmetic surgery should be legal and if getting bigger boobs really improves your quality of life, it seems counter-productive to shame you about it.
I'm really tired and I think I'm steadily making less and less sense the more I type, so I should probably just stop before making even more of an idiot of myself.
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Posted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 3:31 pm
heart It depends on the situation. A simple example is church attire. If you have nice clothes for church, it is good to wear them. To be as presentable as you can is always preferred for a variety of reasons. But if the best you have is nothing but the rags on your back, then that should also suffice. Nothing upsets me more than people trying to reject church members because their attire is of lesser quality than their own. That is where the problem becomes a matter of pride and haughty behavior that needs its head cut off like a snake. I like to dress my best in general, and I'm certainly not going to do any less than what God knows us my best. It's a matter of presentation, even though God doesn't really care what we're wearing. If you show up at your best, even if you're at your worst. Well... it's a simple effort for most.
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Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 7:47 am
SoS Sailor Chobits heart It depends on the situation. A simple example is church attire. If you have nice clothes for church, it is good to wear them. To be as presentable as you can is always preferred for a variety of reasons. But if the best you have is nothing but the rags on your back, then that should also suffice. Nothing upsets me more than people trying to reject church members because their attire is of lesser quality than their own. That is where the problem becomes a matter of pride and haughty behavior that needs its head cut off like a snake. I like to dress my best in general, and I'm certainly not going to do any less than what God knows us my best. It's a matter of presentation, even though God doesn't really care what we're wearing. If you show up at your best, even if you're at your worst. Well... it's a simple effort for most. I absolutely agree. And yeah, I too dislike it when church congregations try to shame certain worshippers because of how they dress, when in many cases, these people really don't have anything better to wear and they're doing the best they can. God understands that and does not fault them for not being able to afford "better" clothes...so why do some people take it upon themselves to presume to speak for God by telling someone they cannot worship in God's house because of how they are dressed? I generally try to look my best because...well, I think most people just feel better when they know that they're presenting a pleasing image to those around them. Also, if I don't maintain a certain standard of dress and grooming, it would cause problems for me with work. Is it right that many jobs require you to look relatively clean-cut and "professional"? I think it's mostly appropriate, at least certainly within my professional fields. I work at a clinic in the mornings, and there's a certain degree of professionalism in how we dress there. The nurses wear scrubs, and the rest of the staff is expected to dress a step above jeans and a T-shirt. We have to relatively easy to distinguish from the patients so that if they have a problem or need to ask a question, they'll be able to pick out the clinic staff from the patients relatively easily. I also teach violin, mostly to children, although I have a few adult students. So for that, I have to present myself in such a way that puts the parents at ease, so they can feel safe leaving their kids alone with me for an hour or so. I very much doubt that the kids would care how I looked, but they're not the ones paying me. Their parents sign the cheques, so I must appease them. And as a professional classical musician, there is a dress code that has existed for centuries, and that we still uphold today: dress in black. For men, that usually means either a black tux or for more casual performances, a black suit, both with black ties and and the appropriate starched white shirts, and black dress shoes with black socks. This dress code came into practise because of the desire for concert-goers to really focus on the music being played, and to not be distracted by flashy outfits being worn by the musicians on stage. And hey, I think the philosophy is sound. We're still required to dress nicely, even formally, but to do so in as bland and boring a way as possible.
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Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2013 2:01 am
There is probably no right answer to these issues, and different Christians as well as different denominations have very different opinions. It's probably more a matter of personal taste and type of personality rather than spiritual state. I generally tend to prefer simplicity and modesty in my clothing, living and lifestyle. And I think that fits well with my Christian faith because it keeps me and my home from cluttering useless things. Ocassionally I feel like doing something extra - accessories, a more elaborated hairdo, make up or nail polish. But most of the time I keep it basic and simple. I like being natural and I don't favor artificial modifications like tattoos, piercings or cosmetic surgeries; I wouldn't even want to use a permanent hair dye because I believe the best way for my way is natural and I don't see any reason why to change it. A part of all of this is also that I'm pretty cheap, so I don't want to spend for things that I don't think are needed.
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Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2013 8:40 pm
Ametrin There is probably no right answer to these issues, and different Christians as well as different denominations have very different opinions. It's probably more a matter of personal taste and type of personality rather than spiritual state. I generally tend to prefer simplicity and modesty in my clothing, living and lifestyle. And I think that fits well with my Christian faith because it keeps me and my home from cluttering useless things. Ocassionally I feel like doing something extra - accessories, a more elaborated hairdo, make up or nail polish. But most of the time I keep it basic and simple. I like being natural and I don't favor artificial modifications like tattoos, piercings or cosmetic surgeries; I wouldn't even want to use a permanent hair dye because I believe the best way for my way is natural and I don't see any reason why to change it. A part of all of this is also that I'm pretty cheap, so I don't want to spend for things that I don't think are needed. I'm also pretty cheap...and also pretty poor. Nearly all my clothing was purchased second-hand, and I can't even really fathom how so many people literally buy new clothes every month, or worse yet, every week. I pretty much just buy things to replace other things that have been somehow severely damaged or worn out. I might shop for completely new additions to my wardrobe once every couple years, and I already said, I buy clothing almost exclusive second-hand (I think socks and underwear are the only exceptions). And okay, I'll be honest, it's true that I buy second-hand to save money, but it's also because I do like having nice clothing, but can't afford or justify paying department store or clothing boutique prices. Buying second-hand is the best way to get cool stuff. But back to your original point, I do think that fashion choices are a matter of personal taste and whether comfort or fashion is your primary concern. Although here in the 21st century, people, most especially women, don't have to put themselves through nearly so much pain for the cause of beauty as they have done in the past. These days it's not difficult to find clothing that is comfortable, functional, and attractive.
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Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 12:59 am
Yes, absolutely true about second hand shops. I have managed to find some nice items from there. Sometimes there's no other option if you want something of a different style than what they're selling in regular stores!
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Posted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 12:42 pm
Ametrin Yes, absolutely true about second hand shops. I have managed to find some nice items from there. Sometimes there's no other option if you want something of a different style than what they're selling in regular stores! I actually wouldn't really know what's currently "in style" or "in season," mostly because it's been ages since I even set foot in a new clothing store. I know that makes me a failure as a gay man. There's just so much great stuff at second-hand places. Much of the clothing I own is in fact designer, and would have been very, very expensive if purchased new. Some highlights include an ankle-length black wool coat by Burberry, a grey pinstripe blazer by Versace, a really killer grey suit by Armani, genuine Dr. Martin boots, black dress shoes by Dolce and Gabbana, one cashmere Burberry scarf, and another cashmere Versace scarf, and an amazing antique leather messenger bag by Hermès. I'm not trying to brag (well, okay, maybe a little). Point is, I can't understand why anyone bothers to buy clothing anywhere other than second-hand shops. I guess a lot of people just think they're "better than that," but the joke's on them: I can buy, with just a few hours' wages, three or four outfits that would cost more than they make in a year at any department shop or designer boutique. lol
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thrashmetaljunkie Captain
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Posted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:29 am
Vanity as defined in the bible (in the context we are taking it here) is hubris based on ones looks, or things. Someone that lives their life around the idea that they MUST look better than everyone else. When they see someone that looks better than them, they go into a fit of rage or depression and go to extreme ways to try to be better. With that also comes the extreme judging of people based on what they wear. Such as "O-M-G THEY ARE WEARING PURPLE AND GOLD? HOW UGLY, THEY MUST BE DUMB" In their vanity, they are now condemning someone because they do not live to their standards. At least that is where i see the issue of vanity being a problem in terms of living a christian life. You cannot love your neighbor when you love your clothes, make up, or things more than life... if that makes sense >.<
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Posted: Sat Nov 30, 2013 9:25 am
thrashmetaljunkie Vanity as defined in the bible (in the context we are taking it here) is hubris based on ones looks, or things. Someone that lives their life around the idea that they MUST look better than everyone else. When they see someone that looks better than them, they go into a fit of rage or depression and go to extreme ways to try to be better. With that also comes the extreme judging of people based on what they wear. Such as "O-M-G THEY ARE WEARING PURPLE AND GOLD? HOW UGLY, THEY MUST BE DUMB" In their vanity, they are now condemning someone because they do not live to their standards. At least that is where i see the issue of vanity being a problem in terms of living a christian life. You cannot love your neighbor when you love your clothes, make up, or things more than life... if that makes sense >.< Oh em gee, where the eff you see kay have you beeeeen???
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